//------------------------------// // Love God? Try a Love Queen Instead // Story: Atelier Equestria // by Kris The Kris //------------------------------// Shallie cackled madly as she ran by all the guards in the castle, rushing to the Lunar Princess’ room. She even briefly passed by Blueblood, who still had the creepy crush on her. Not that she minded. She could beat him even without her broom. Then she kicked open Luna’s door to see her in the middle of eating a cake. “Shallie!” She screamed, coughing on some of the sweet treat. “Lulu! I got you a present from Logy!” Shallie yelled, taking out the diamond to show off, conveniently leaving the letter attached to it in her bag. For those curious, it said this: “Have a motherfucking Token. Call the Gravity Queen with it. Hugs and Kisses, Aaron~” “Shallie, we are exalted to see thou again but thou must learn to-” “Who cares about that!” Shallie zoomed over and shoved the diamond in Luna’s hands. “It’s a wishing stone! All you gotta do is make a wish on it while holding it to your heart at it will come true!” Luna looked down at the stone, feeling sceptic about Logix even thinking about her in a romantic sense given how you could tell him to his face your feeling and he would just blink it off. Regardless, she held the diamond to her chest. “We wish Logix would return our feelings.” Shallie took a step back just as Pepe arrived at the door way with Yuri. From the diamond, something unexpected was heard, “You have reached the office of Kat Shifter. Sorry I missed your call, please leave a message after the beep. Beep.” Silence reigned in the room after the message, only to be broken by Luna. “Shallie, what have thou given us?” “It was supposed to summon someone!” Shallie ran over, snatching the diamond and shaking it a little. “It might be broken.” She muttered under her breath. Yuri had a hand to his face. The male was muttering something about Shallie’s brain possibly being the only broken thing here. Luna just looked at the green haired alchemist with a deadpan look. “We do not appreciate you toying with our emotions.” “Master. Try again?” Pepe asked, standing beside Yuri with his ears coming up to his upper leg. Shallie put the large gem to her chest. “Hey Kat, we have an idiot romantic! Come hit him for us!” “Nom de Dieu, who keeps calling? Hello? This better be important.” “Do idiot romantics who can’t see when someone is deeply in love with them important enough?” “...Romance, you say? ...I’ll be right there!” Not even a minute later, a swirling, black and red portal appeared in the room, a human woman leaping out. Her long, blonde hair moved softly in the light breeze as she landed, padding off some dust and dirt off her clothes. She smiled brightly at them all with a wave. “Hi there!” Luna stumbled back a little while Shallie didn’t look off put in the slightest. “Hi~ You have nice hair.” Yuri coughed loudly at what Shallie said. “Excuse me,” the male casually flipped his long, purple hair. “Kay. Hi, you have nicer hair than Dressboy~” Shallie obviously was spiteing Yuri. “Hi, you have nicer hair than Dressboy and Ms. Green,” Yuri was not spiteing Shallie. “Why thank you,” she giggled. “My name’s Kat. It’s nice to meet you all--oh!” She noticed Luna in the room and bowed. “Princess Luna, apologies for not noticing you sooner.” “I-It is fine.” Luna looked up at the ceiling. “So thou art like Logix, Sir Yuri, and Shallie?” “Yup.” Shallie chirped, walking over to Kat. “I’m Shallie and Dressboy over there is Yuri and the little guy is my token, Pepe~” “It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Now… what was that I heard about some romance brewing in the air~?” Kat asked as she began to lazily float in the air on her stomach. “Yeah, Logix is our friend and fellow alchemist but he can’t see that Luna loves him deeply and he ran off earlier… mostly because he’s still a criminal in Celestia’s eyes but we have a plan for that!” Shallie pointed outside. “He went that way I think. Yuri, which way did he go?” “Didn’t he went to the garden?” Yuri raised a brow. “Do you really expect him to stick around?” “Depends on his level of intelligence and how fast he is.” “So yeah, that way.” “Do we not have any say in this?” Luna asked. “Nope.” Shallie replied quickly. “Aw, how cute~!” Kat giggled as she floated over to Luna. “Does Luna have a little crush? That’s so adorable!” Luna covered her face with a pillow to hide her embarrassment. That’s when Pepe started eating her cake. “Don’t be embarrassed, Lulu,” Kat said, patting her shoulder. “But I can help!” Luna said something muttered along the lines of, “We do not require help.” “Go on and find Logix and beat some romantic stuff into his little alchemy brain!” Shallie cheered. “Nu nu nu nu,” Kat said while waving her finger. “No, that comes as a last resort. You can’t beat in feelings… physically at least. We just gotta get Luna all dolled up and play the ol’ blind date card!” She nodded and smiled. “A little bit of make-up, the perfect dress, maybe a few bits of bling, and she’ll be able to knock even an emotionless stuck-up like Aaron.” “Oh yeah, he was the guy who gave us your token.” Shallie spoke up. “He gave us good stuff and sent out Pepe as a token.” She pointed to the homunculus, face first in cake. “Whaddya say Luna?” Kat asked. “With a little luck, you won’t be sleeping in that bed alone tonight~.” Luna was shaking heavily before falling back on an old favorite. The Royal Canterlot shou-er voice. She bought the pillow down and yelled with all her strength and lung capacity, “BEGONE, ALL OF YOU!” “Woah,” Kat cried as she was blown off into the corner of the room. “Yeesh, if ya don’t want me to help, Lulu, just say so. I’m not gonna force you, after all. That would be rude.” Shallie had been blow out the window along with Pepe and his cake. “Ow… I got cake all over my clothes now…” Yuri was blown out of the door. The male groaned lowly and rubbed his ears. Loud barking was heard, following by thumping. Luna just looked away from Kat, shame written all over her face. She quickly got under the covers to hide. Shallie sat up outside. “That really smarts.” She muttered, trying to wipe the cake off. Kat floated back over to the bed and sat on the edge. “Luna, I just want to help you. That’s what I do for others. I always try to make sure my friends are happy.” “W-we shall be fine, Kat. We can get Logix’s heart on our own.” Luna stayed under the blanket. “We were content before Shallie barged in.” “To be fair, Shallie was trying to help,” Yuri said, sitting up. “Even if her intents were slightly… corrupt? Is that the word?” Luna didn’t respond to Yuri at first. After a minute of silence, she responded. “It did not work.” “Oh come on, Luna” Kat said cheerfully. “Don’t you want to at least give it a shot?” Luna sat for a moment before looking out. “We shall try.” “That’s the spirit! It’ll be great! We’ll get Rarity right on to making you the perfect dress while your friends here go get the victim!” “We’ll get him no problem!” Shallie called from the ground outside. “Just give me a minute to heal.” Luna shook slightly as she got out of bed. Yuri walked back inside, still rubbing his ears. A blue canine was following close behind him with a pipe in its mouth. Luna nodded before heading over to her dresser to grab her money bag. Kat snapped her fingers, a portal opening up. “To Carousel Boutique, Lulu. Ready to go?” The blue dog slowly moved over to the portal and stop when it was near it. It sniffed it a few times before barking. Luna nodded and went through. Kat smirked at the other Displaced. “Try to get the heart-stealer into the dining hall by seven, okay? And make sure he’s decent.” She strutted through herself before the portal closed. “Will do,” Yuri nodded before looking towards the blue dog. “Hey, Repede. Wanna play fetch~?” a smirk appeared on his face as the canine barked loudly. Luna fidgeted as Rarity got her measurements, feeling nervous about tonight. “Princess dear, you need to stop moving so much! I might end up pricking you with a needle,” Rarity said, adjusting the dress she was working on. “We are sorry, Rarity. We shall endeavor to stop.” “Thank you,” Rarity said with a smile, sewing a few gems unto the hem of the dress. “Would you mind terribly if I ask why you’re dressing up for tonight, your majesty?” She asked, making slight adjustments to the positioning of a slit on the left side of the dress. “We would rather-” “Luna’s got a big date tonight,” Kat giggled from the waiting couch she was laying on while flipping through a fashion magazine. “She’s gotten bit from the love bug~.” “Oh~ Has she now?” Rarity grinned slightly, already imagining the gossip. Luna currently couldn’t move so the best she could do was lower her head and close her eyes with a slight groan. “Who’s the lucky stallion, princess?” Rarity asked, finishing the bottom half of the dress. “Dost thou remember the stallion trapped in stone at our old castle?” Rarity gasped slightly in reaction, “Surely not that ruffian! Did he not try to assassinate you as well though?” “Twas a misunderstanding. He was showing us his abilities and our sister over reacted.” Luna sighed. “She turned him to stone before we could even argue for his freedom.” “Ah, amour de jeunesse,” Kat sighed. “Oh my…” Rarity said slowly, making sure the sleeves were of the same length. “That… it was another reason we fell from grace.” Luna’s shoulders slumped as she stared at the ground. “It was childish of us.” Kat chuckled. “Trust me, Luna. There are much more childish acts that a person can commit. I speak from experience.” Rarity stepped back for a moment to see what was left to be done and made an ‘ah’ sound and quickly put a simple silver necklace with a dark blue sapphire around Luna’s neck, “And we are done!” Luna put her arms down and turned around to look in the mirror. She gasped, raising a hand to her mouth. “You look amazing, Luna!” Kat said happily. “Enfer, if you didn’t already have a stallion on the heart, I’d be trying after you myself.” Luna didn’t respond, still looking at her reflection. “Do you like it princess?” Rarity asked, patiently waiting with her hands together behind her back. “I-it’s beautiful.” Luna just stood there, marveling how everything just looked perfect on her. “I’m glad to hear it, and since you’re getting this to impress a stallion, it’s free,” Rarity said with a broad smile. “At least allow me to give you some compensation, Rarity,” Kat offered. “Absolutely not!” Rarity declared, clapping her hands together as if she was sealing something. Luna snapped out of it and looked down to her money bag. She took out a few bits and wordlessly thrust them into Rarity’s hands. “Thank you, Rarity.” Rarity spluttered slightly but composed herself quickly, “You’re welcome princess, but really, payment is not necessary.” “We insist. Take it.” Rarity sighed, “I won’t get out of this payment will I?” “I have a better idea,” Kat said. “This was my idea, after all, Luna. No reason you should be paying.” Kat tore open a portal and pulled out a slim, purple crystal before handing it to Rarity. “Here, Rarity. Consider it a gift and a thank you for a job well done.” Rarity blinked slightly, “Uh, thank you dear, but what is this? It’s not like any other gem I’ve seen before…” “It’s a gravity crystal. A unique gem that only gravity shifters like me can create. They have many uses, plus their colors are just fabulous, wouldn’t you say?” “Yes, yes it is, though I think I have an inkling as to what I’ll use this for,” Rarity smiled slightly, setting the crystal on a nearby table. Luna put her bits up, taking a glance at the mirror again. “We should be off, Kat.” She shivered slightly, thinking about how Logix would react. “Don’t be nervous, Luna,” Kat said softly, putting her hand on the princess’ shoulder. “If this doesn’t work, I have a surefire backup plan.” “Well, goodbye princess, goodbye lady Kat,” Rarity said, bowing a bit before she went back to the living area of Carousel Boutique. Luna looked to Kat and sighed. “Let us go then.” The Displaced snapped her fingers, the two of them teleporting right back to Canterlot Castle. Meanwhile~ Logix was sitting down for a short break in a rather large cave that had blacksmithing equipment around the edges of it, which had been recently used. “Don’t know how this stuff didn’t wear down over time,” He said, letting out a short laugh. Logix paused when he heard what sounded like panting. When he look to the source, he saw Repede sitting a few feet away from him. The canine barked, wagging his tail when the male noticed him. Oh and Yuri was there too. “How are you doing?” Yuri yawned. “SHALLIE KICK!” Shallie suddenly flew in from the side, kicking Logix in the head with both feet. “MOTHERFUCK! SHALLIE! YOU TERRIBLE PERSON!” Logix shouted, getting knocked off his chair against the wall, getting a small cut on his uncovered back. “Aw, it didn’t knock him out!” Shallie whined from the ground. “Maybe next time,” Yuri chuckled, looking down to his friend. “Next time you try and kick me in the head, do it when I actually have my armored shirt on!” Logix snapped, rubbing where was cut before going to check on a stone bowl filled with molten aluminum. Shallie stood up before taking out some familiar rope. “Logy, we are kidnapping you to force you to go on a date!” Logix pulled his sword out of his sheathe and turned to face Shallie, “No. You’re not kidnapping me. PUT THE ROPE DOWN!” Repede slowly crept behind Logix while he was distracted with Shallie. “Shallie, you’re not suppose to say that out loud,” Yuri snorted. “But it’s fun to say stuff like that out loud.” Shallie stepped closer to Logix. “Drop. The. Rope.” Logix said, brandishing his sword in front of him. “But it’s my special rope. Just ask Yuri.” “Mhm, very special,” Yuri said. “Am I at the very least allowed to get clothes that aren’t slightly sweat soaked if you’re going to kidnap me?” Logix grumbled. Logix would find that his sword would vanished from his grip. Wait what? The male would briefly see Repede running off with his sword in his mouth. “Dammit Repede!” Logix shouted after the dog before he lunged and grabbed a black steel sword off the wall next to him, slowly inching towards an adjacent room with metal furniture in it. Repede ran over to Yuri and dropped the sword near him. The blue dog dropped his pipe and pulled out his dagger from its sheath with his mouth. He growled and slowly moved over to Logix. “Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” Yuri stood up. “Which do you prefer?” “Hmm, I prefer not having my house invaded!” Logix snapped, backing into the room and slamming the door to it shut, things could be heard being locked, “Now let me get clothes and a shower if you’re going to force me on a date!” “Well hurry up. Shallie might get impatient,” Yuri snorted. “And you don’t want to deal with an impatient Shallie.” Loud grumbling could be heard from behind the door as footsteps could be heard moving away. “Aw, I wanted to knock him out.” Some time later… Luna sat in the dining room as she used her magic to raise the moon, looking worriedly at the seat across from her. Somewhat animated arguing could be heard from the hall nearing the dining room, “Why won’t you take the stupid blindfold off?!” Logix could be heard somewhat loudly. “To build up the suspense,” Yuri voice was heard. Luna looked at the door, confused. Why would they have a blindfold on him? Yuri’s next comment strangely answered that. “You are about to see a very beautiful lady and it’ll be h-you’ll be at awe by her appearance...Urgh. I can’t believe I said that.” “Said what dressboy?” Logix snorted slightly. “Just kick him in so we can go fly with Kat! I got the flying carpet ready and everything!” Shallie cried out. ”Do you also got Genie and a musical number planned?” Yuri asked. “Oh? So you and Yuri are going out on a date as well then?” Logix let out a short laugh, knowing full and well they didn’t think of each other that way. “No! We’re just going off to have fun without you!” Luna sweatdropped, hearing how immature Shallie was acting. Logix would then be kicked into the dining room by Yuri. Yuri was briefly heard muttering something about being confused about his sexuality. Logix grumbled and brushed off his black tuxedo, still questioning where exactly it had came from after he pulled off the blindfold. Luna stared into his eyes, blushing slightly. Logix blinked slightly, as he looked back at Luna, “Uh, hi Luna?” “Hello Logix….” She bowed. “Would you like some dinner?” Logix smiled slightly in response, bowing back to her a bit “Why yes, that would be nice, thank you.” Luna walked over to the chair and sat down, looking across to see Logix doing the same. “Would I be correct to assume it’s you that Shallie and Yuri are trying to get me to date?” Logix asked, as he sat down across from her. “It is true.” She nodded, fidgeting slightly. “I’m willing to give it a shot I suppose…” Logix said with a small sigh. Luna looked to the food and started getting small servings for herself. Logix raised a brow at this, “I know you eat more than that Luna.” “W-we are trying to keep our weight down.” She responded as she started to eat. “...Uhuh, I’ll try to go with that,” Logix laughed a bit before getting a bowl of spaghetti. Luna kept eating, not able to think of a single thing to say to Logix. “You look very nice tonight Luna,” Logix idly said, continuing to eat. “Thank you. Rarity made the dress.” “Did she now? Was she the one with the mane that looked like it had thousands of bits worth of hair products in it?” Logix said with a small grin. Luna nodded. “She is the seamstress of Ponyville.” “You ponies and your town names,” Logix shook his head slightly before looking at Luna, “So uh, what type of things are actually done on a date?” “We are not sure. This is our first date.” Luna was blushing again, staring at her food. “Well you’re not alone in that department… Wait, did they seriously think it was a good idea to try and get us both to date when neither of us have done it before?” Logix asked, a confused expression adorning his face. “Kiss her already!” Shallied yelled from one of the stained glass window before Yuri threw a orange at her head. “Shush!” Kat whispered to her. “Natural progression, you andouille.” Shallie yelped. “What does that even mean?” Luna curled up a little in embarrassment. “...Eh?” Logix said, turning to view the stained glass windows before turning back to Luna, “Ok, so, just going to pretend there wasn’t a voice coming from the windows…” Luna just shook her head. “No. This has been a waste of time.” Luna stood up and started to walk away. “Oh for the love of...,” Kat muttered before covering her hand in energy. She sent a surge of gravity into Luna, causing her to stumble and fall… right on to Logix. With the angle as such, when she landed on him, their lips met. Logix’s eyes widened in shock, falling backwards as Luna kissed him. Luna just laid on top of him in shock, not taking her lips away for what felt like the longest time. Then the door opened again. “Auntie Luna, I would like to-” Prince Blueblood froze, seeing the two kissing. Shallie started screeching. “Abort mission! Abort Mission!” “Repede! Attack!” Yuri barked. Repede barked loudly before the canine jumped through the window and charged towards Blueblood. The dog knocked the prince away from the door by tackling him. Shallie jumped in and slammed the door in Blueblood’s face. Luna shot up away Logix, panting a little. “Logix, you need to leave now!” Logix sat there stammering for a moment, “Uhh…” “Now! We can explain to our sister but you need to run!” “...But it’s Blueblood, he’s probably unconscious in the hall right now,” Logix said, raising a brow, still blushing a bit. “But the guards will see him!” Luna pointed out. “And we can’t drag him in here and cover him with a tablecloth?” Logix asked, walking to the door and cracking it open to see Blueblood was actually unconscious with Repede on top of him, wagging his tail. “...Good dog,” Logix murmured before dragging Blueblood into the room by the horn, left him in a corner covered with a tablecloth, and went back to the table where he coughed lightly, “So where did we leave off at?” “... We were eating.” Luna muttered, sitting down across from him with her face fully red. Shallie picked up Repede and snuck out. “Sorry about that.” “So uh, should we pretend the kiss didn’t happen?” Logix asked sheepishly, blushing a bit. Luna nodded quickly. “No you shouldn’t!” Kat called out, looking in from the glass. “Take it and use it to start a proper relationship, you clods! You!” points at Luna, “Start having more faith in yourself and your chances in life. And you!” points at Logix. “Start showing your emotions to a girl who has loved you for over a thousand years and literally went crazy because you were gone.” “I didn’t know that!” Logix said in response, glancing at Luna with a blush. Luna was covering her face with her hands, hiding her enormous blush. “Is that actually true Luna?” Logix asked, turning back to her. Luna took her hands away from her face, tears gather in her eyes as she nodded. “It is true. Your imprisonment is what drove us over the edge. We hated Celestia for not only taking all the attention of the ponies but also for taking away our chance at something more than friendship.” Logix stood up and walked over to Luna, standing in front of her a moment before embracing her, “I never knew that…” Luna froze for a moment before hugging him back, resting her head on his shoulder. Kat smirked at Shallie and Yuri. “Never doubt the master matchmaker.” Yuri was looking around. The male was totally not crying. Nope. He’s too cool for that. Shallie was just cheering before she stopped, slapping her forehead. “Dammit, I should have gotten some doves!” “So… I guess this means shippers don’t always ruin lives,” Logix said with a small laugh. Luna just smiled, her head still on his shoulder. “They don’t.” “Does this mean I can ship Bonbon and Lyra?” Shallied looked to Kat when she asked that. “That’s already canon Shallie, you forgot Rainbow Rocks,” Logix said, with a snort, letting go of Luna with a small smile. “Never watched it.” Shallie muttered. Luna stepped away from Logix. “N-now what do we do?” “No idea!” Logix declared sticking an arm in the air. “Kiss, you morons!” the three shouted at the new couple. Logix shrugged and looked at Luna with a smile, leaning forward slightly. Luna met him halfway and started kissing him passionately. Logix slowly wrapped his arms around her lower back. A low groan could be heard from the pile of unconscious unicorn in the corner that went by the name of Blueblood. Shallie ran over and kicked him again. “Shut up, romantic moment.” Luna wrapped her arms around Logix, closing her eyes. Kat sighed contently. “Match made,” she said with finality. She turned to the two beside her. “My work here is done. But don’t be afraid to hit me up some other time.” She started sinking into a portal beneath her. “Farewell~.” “See ya,” Yuri waved in Kat’s direction, still looking away. Shallie then threw Pepe at her. “Pepe’s my Token! Come by anytime you want me to make something!” “Oh mon Dieu,” Kat groaned as she disappeared. “Another satané mouth to feed!” Shallie giggled before looking back to Luna and Logix. “You two really should get a room.”