Quizzical Greystone And The Basements Of Doom
Chapter 13 Thrill Ride
“One… two… three…”
Quiz peeked over the edge of the cart, and carefully counted to herself. They came to a switchback, and Quiz was thrown to the floor of the cart as they rocketed through the turn on two wheels. On the straightaway the cart settled back onto the rails with a thud.
“We barely made it,” said Shadow. “If we don’t slow down we won’t even make it to the bridge, we’ll derail on the last turn.”
Quiz summoned a magic blackboard, which floated above the cart. Equations covered the board and numbers swiftly began to replace the variables. “I know our speed, assuming the old ponies space their columns the same as modern engineers… too many assumptions… too many estimates… too much guesswork…”
“Quizzie, what are you doing?”
“Let her work, Shadow,” said Silver Spoon. “Can’t you see she’s in the zone?”
“To allow for all the unknowns I shall have to calculate a range, using highest and lowest values… this is a novel challenge…”
“She’s trying to calculate our way out of this?” asked Shadow, incredulously. “While we’re speeding headlong to our apparent doom? Can she do that?!”
The corner of Quiz’s mouth actually turned up slightly, and she whispered, “Bring it on.”
The numbers shifted on Quiz’s board faster than the other ponies could read them. “Shadow, you weigh about forty-five pounds?”
“Forty-two, I’m leaner than I look. Why?”
“Good, then our weight is a known. Diamond weighs thirty-three pounds, Silver thirty-six, twenty-eight for myself, the cart is a model I am familiar with…”
“Hay!” cried Diamond Tiara. “You know how much we weigh?”
“Um… the Crusaders asked me to estimate that from your measurements…”
“That is private information, between us and our dressmaker!” Diamond would have stomped her hoof, if she could have done so without losing her balance.
“I have reason to believe Sweetie Belle did not ask Miss Rarity’s permission before looking into your files. Um… I have probably said too much.” Quiz paused to choose her words carefully, though the march of numbers across her blackboard never slowed. “No details were shared with me, but you may expect your weights to figure in a prank in the near future.”
“Those losers better not try!”
“Diamond, we have more pressing things to worry about!” shouted Silver.
Quiz nodded. “Shadow is correct. We will leave the tracks on the next turn if we cannot slow down.”
This was not what they wanted to hear.
“Fine!” declared Diamond. “Then I’ll slow us down. Shadow, hold my legs.”
“Dia, now what are you doing?!” Shadow jumped to grab Diamond’s hind legs, as she leaned over the side of the cart with the stump of the brake lever.
“I just told you! I’m slowing us down!” Diamond jammed the lever into the wheel well, and pushed as hard as she could. “Didn’t you hear me, you stupid wheel?! I said ‘slow down’! Slow… err… down… ugh! Darn it! Why doesn’t anything do what I tell it to?”
The end of the lever began to smoke.
“Diamond, I think it’s working,” cried Silver. “At least, a little bit.”
Quiz sighted on a passing pillar, and counted again. “I agree. But I cannot be certain it is enough.”
“Okay, girls, we have to keep the wheels on the tracks,” ordered Shadow. “Get ready to throw your weight to hold down the outside wheels.”
“How do you do that?” asked Silver.
“Think heavy thoughts!”
“Yoaw!” screamed Diamond, throwing the lever away. It had burst into flames.
“Here we go, girls!” shouted Shadow. “To the outside of the turn, push down!”
“Wooooooooooah!” cried all the ponies, except Quiz.
Despite their best efforts, the outside wheels did rise, and the cart came out of the turn precariously balanced on one rail. It continued, wobbling, for what seemed like forever before finally slamming down on all four wheels.
“We made it! We made it! We…” Shadow stopped when he looked at Quiz’s face. “We are celebrating a bit early, aren’t we?”
Quiz nodded. “Even by my most optimistic estimates, we are too heavy to jump the gap at the bridge.”
“Then we lighten the load.” Shadow flexed his wings. He blushed when they all saw him wince with pain. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t have to fly; it’s more of a hop. A little flare to lose momentum, then a nice gentle landing.”
“It is not enough, Shadow.”
“Then I take one of you with me, I’m sure I can carry one…”
“It is still not enough, Shadow. I estimate that…” Quiz paused. “Only the… um… lightest of us could probably reach the other side. Alone.”
“Oh.” Shadow looked stricken. “Then just forget it.”
“But Shadow, you could save yourself!” exclaimed Silver.
“Well, don’t ask me to pick just one of you to save! I’d rather ride it out with you guys than do that.”
“Do we have time to draw straws?” asked Diamond
“We don’t have any straws,” answered Silver.
“That will not be necessary,” said Quiz. The magic blackboard disappeared, but her horn continued to glow. “There is another way.”
“Quizzie, what are you doing?”
“I must apologize to you all, I will do my best to dampen your momentum, but I am not very good with swiftly moving targets.” Quiz now had to yell to be heard over the wind and the clatter of the wheels. “Please try to tuck and roll when you land.”
There were three soft ‘pops’ as Quiz teleported the other ponies away.
They all reappeared on the far side of the gorge. Shadow was able to use his wings to steady himself, and he still ended up sitting down hard. Silver and Diamond went tumbling, and rolled for several feet.
“Well, that could have been smoother,” said Diamond, shaking her head to throw some of the dust out of her mane.
“Don’t complain, we’re safe now,” said Silver. “Oww, I skinned my knee!”
“Where’s Quizzie?” cried Shadow. “Why didn’t she come, too?”
“She can’t,” answered Diamond. “Quiz can teleport almost everything except herself. She’s still in the cart.”
Across the gorge the mine cart had already shot past them. Shadow sprinted after it, calling for Quiz. The fillies ran after him.
“Quizzie! Girls, I can’t see her there!”
“She probably ducked down and put her hooves over her face,” said Silver. “I don’t think she’ll want to watch what happens next.”
“Oh, gosh, she may have fainted!” gasped Diamond. “Quiz gets really strained when she teleports anything as heavy as us.”
“How did you know that?” demanded Shadow. “That’s private information between Quiz and her magic instructor.”
“I… may have done some research.” Diamond flinched. “Okay, it was for a prank. I was going to have Quiz teleport an empty box for me, just as soon as I figured out how to hide the lead lining. Don’t judge me!”
“How can you even think about that right now?” asked Shadow,
“I wasn’t thinking about it until you asked!” snapped Diamond. “Look, Quiz will be fine. She always will be fine. She… oh, my gosh, there she goes!”
The cart hit what remained of the bridge and shot up it, as if being launched off a ramp. The end of the damaged rails were twisted, and as the cart flew across the gap it began to roll.
The cart landed, upside down, on the far side, just past the lip of the ledge. It hit with a mighty ‘clang!’ that shook the three little ponies.
Silver went slowly to the edge and looked down. “I… I think I saw something fall out. Did any of you see it?”
“What?!” Diamond ran to stand next to her friend, and looked down into the quarry. If there was anything at the bottom of the pit they couldn’t see it.
“She can’t have fallen!” shrieked Diamond. “I still have plans for her! I’m going to get her good; and after that I’ll get her again, and that’ll be even bigger! Do you hear me, Quiz-ik-al! You come back, right now! I’m not done with you!”
There was a faint banging, coming from inside the overturned cart.
“Girls,” called Shadow, from next to the cart. “Could you please come here and help me get this thing off of Quizzie?”
It took all three of them to push the cart onto its side. This freed Quiz, who staggered out, blinking and shaking her head. “Well, that… was quite… extraordinary.”
“Quizzie, are you okay?” asked Shadow. He didn’t dare touch her until he knew Quiz hadn’t broken anything.
“I can barely hear you, the landing was very loud. I feel much as the clapper must feel when Miss Pinkie is the bellringer.”
“Well, if you can’t hear me, then I’ll just have to show you how glad I am that you made it.” Shadow lunged at Quiz, and enveloped her in a hug. Silver immediately joined them. Even Diamond reached out, and patted Quiz on the back.
“Please, there is no need to become emotional,” protested Quiz. “It was not that bad. Except for the chance of dying, it was better than riding the Tail Twister.”
“That’s right, you heard her, guys,” stated Diamond. “It was no big deal. There’s no reason to ever talk about anything that just happened.”
“Yes, my hearing is only just now returning to me,” said Quiz. “I did not hear a thing that was said before. Hmmm. I must remember to tell Scootaloo that I have finally experienced one of those barrel rolls she is so excited about. Well, half of one, anyway.”
“How did you like it?” asked Shadow.
“It reinforced my appreciation for just walking.” Quiz squinted at her companions, then frowned. “I thought my vision would clear, but the trouble is not my eyes. I have lost my glasses again.”
Diamond laughed. “Great! Now you’ll be bumbling around through the caves, nearly blind, like that nerdy filly in those ghost adventure comic books!”
Quiz’s horn glowed. There was a soft ‘pop,’ then the glasses appeared back where they belonged, on Quiz’s face.
“You were saying, Diamond Tiara?”
“Whatever.”