"OBJECTION!!" Twilight Sparkle ROARED!
An enormous “HO…” sounded all over the courtroom. Everypony froze in shock, mouths agape, and eyes saucer-wide! Even Nightmare Moon halted her advance on Rainbow Dash, and turned to face the Defense Counsel in surprise! Relieved, Dash swooned and slumped backward off the witness stand, falling to the floor in a heap.
“YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER!!” Judge Celestia neighed reprovingly!
“NO, I AM NOT! Because YOU--” said Twilight, rounding dangerously on the Judge: “--ARE NOT JUDGE CELESTIA!!”
Another “HO…” sounded around the room, angrier than before!
“ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER!!” The Judge banged her gavel hoof repeatedly!
"SILENCE, YOU FOALS!!" Nightmare Moon bellowed! “(*Chuckle*) This, I’ve got to hear…”
The noise gradually died down, and Twilight continued.
“I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, your Honor…” Twilight continued, pressing her advantage: “…BUT YOU’RE NOT CELESTIA! First: the real Princess Celestia would NEVER stoop so low as to force her own sister to transform back into the very thing she’s worked so long and hard to get away from! Second: the real Celestia's horn glows with every spell she casts! Even a transformation spell on another pony! YOURS DIDN'T! Which can mean only one thing: YOU’RE AN IMPOSTER!! Who are you really: Queen Chrysalis? King Sombra? Or… (*Gasp*) … NO!!”
Realization dawned on Twilight’s thunderstruck face…
After a pause, Judge Celestia smiled…and raised her left hoof. Except…
Now it wasn't a hoof anymore… but a bird's claw The talons snapped… and everypony in the gallery...vanished in a flash!
Only Twilight, Nightmare Moon and Judge Celestia remained. Twilight stared all around the court room, trying to take in what had just happened.
Judge Celestia chuckled wickedly… then TRANSFORMED… into a Draconequus!
“Hoo-hohohohooo… My, my, my, aren’t YOU just the Mount Cleverest of little cloven-hooves?
It’s about time you finally caught on to what was happening!” the familiar figure mused.
"DISCORD!!!" Nightmare Moon BELLOWED, making Discord hold his ears!
“Owwww---yeeesh! Indoor voice, PLEASE!!!” Discord complained.
And with another claw-snap, Nightmare Moon flashed back into Princess Luna!
“(*Ahem*) Discord… I thought we gave you strict orders NOT to interfere!” the Night Princess retorted.
“UNTIL absolutely necessary!” Discord reminded them, now conjuring up a lifeguard’s T-shirt and whistle. He TWEETED the whistle loudly, making the Princesses wince & quake, crossing their eyes! “And by the looks of things, it’s a good thing for you I finally did come to your rescue!”
Discord then changed to a doctor’s white lab coat, stethoscope, headband & mirror eyepiece, and a medical chart: “In case you haven’t noticed, and you probably haven’t, all three of your bodies back up topside were about to expire from massive coronaries! The stress levels were off the scale! I know, I measured!” He demonstrated by showing three heart monitors with spiking sinus rhythms! “How your little dragon friend is managing to sleep so soundly through all this, I’ve yet to figure out!”
Discord then conjured all the med-props away, replacing them with a nautical captain’s uniform for himself plus a ship’s stern & upper deck railing, and two rope-attached floatation rings for the Princesses. (The name 'HMS Tartanic' appeared on these life preservers.) “So if I hadn’t dropped in to save you just in time…” He let the ship’s stern sink…then replaced all this with flower wreaths, granite gravestones marked R.I.P. in the names of Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna and Rainbow Dash, and clad himself in a black hooded robe & scythe: “(*Sniff*)…time for you, would have been no more.” Then he flashed them all back to normal.
“(*Groan*) Okay, okay…” said Twilight, frustrated again, “…thank you very much for keeping your promise and saving our lives. But why the charade of a false trial? The real one was tough enough on Dash; why make her suffer through a false one with worse results on top of that?”
“What!? You think I did all this? Oh, surely you jest…” said Discord, making a Mardi Gras bell-hat appear on Twilight’s head briefly for emphasis. “This was already in her head before I ever showed up! I simply adapted to what was going on, and, well… had a little fun as I went along.”
“But none of this makes any sense!” Twilight whined, stomping a hoof.
Discord admonished in a mock scolding tone: “Tsk-tsk-tsk, Princess Twilight Sparkle, as I’ve told Celestia and you & your friends before, in our first encounter (a very far point, I might add)...WHAT FUN IS THERE IN MAKING SENSE?? Dreams aren’t supposed to make sense! They’re total nonsense!! That’s what I LOVE about them so much! Honestly, your Highness, must EVERYTHING be LOGICAL for you to accept and believe them? Oh, Vulcan pony?”
With a snap, Discord made a blue Starfleet uniform jersey appear on Twilight! (As her hair was already in straight bangs, and her pony ears already pointed, he didn’t have to do much to complete her Pony Trek cosplay ensemble.) “FASCINATING…” Twilight drawled sarcastically with a cocked eyebrow, not bothering to ask for a mirror to see her reflection. Then with a glow of her horn, she flash-changed back herself.
“But these fears are not total nonsense to Rainbow Dash…” Luna explained, “…they are part of her soul, and therefore very real to her. But how were we to coach her into facing those fears…if she herself could neither hear nor see us before now?”
“Oho, that…” said Discord. “Actually, I have no idea why you couldn’t be seen or heard earlier. But by the time you all reached this little scenario, I simply…you know… corrected it. But of course, horse-horse (*snicker*) … I just couldn't resist the fun of a little pony ventriloquism & disguise! Hoo-hoo!! YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES! Priceless!! Heeeheheheheehee!!”
Discord laughed himself silly! Twilight and Luna, most decidedly, did not.
(*Groan*) Okay, that’s enough time wasted. We’ve got to get Rainbow Dash and----oops!” Twilight started, but then she noticed…Rainbow Dash was gone from the stand! “Rainbow Dash?” she called, galloped forward. Twilight searched all around the stand, even the spot where Dash had fallen. Not a trace. “Huh? What? Where’d she go? Did she finally wake up? Or is she…(*Gasp* ) IS SHE…” Poor Twilight froze, holding both sides of her head with her hooves!
“DEAD? Phssh, hardly…” Discord scoffed.
“If she were, this entire dream would be fading away by now…” said Luna, thinking…
“What kind of crazy dream is this anyway?” Twilight puzzled.
Discord looked from one pony to the other. “OH…” he interjected, “You mean you don't know? Two of the smartest ponies in all of Equestria, and YOU DON’T KNOW what kind of NIGHTMARE THIS IS??” He placed dunce caps over the Princesses’ horns! “How quickly old knowledge is forgotten by the young…” Discord emoted melodramatically, “…and with a thousand-year head start, I thought at least you would know, Luna!”
"WHAT KIND??" both Princesses shouted, flashing the caps away!
“IT’S A CHAOTIC MULTIPLE NIGHTMARE!! And chaos is MY field of expertise!” Discord explained.
“OOOH, OF COURSE! I should have remembered…” said Luna, face-hoofing herself again, “…the more hightened the dreamer’s fears and imagination, the more chaotic and terrifying the nightmares! Rainbow Dash has really let her imagination run away with her, this time!”
“And if we don’t stop her, she’ll SCARE HERSELF TO DEATH!” Twilight realized!
“Quick, Discord, we’ve got to find her! Can you track her down?” Twilight commanded.
On command, Discord conjured up a bomber jacket, leather helmet (his mismatched horns sticking out through specially cut holes) flight goggles and a long white scarf! His mismatched wings stuck out from a slit in the back of the jacket. “Just FOLLOW MY LEAD, wing-ponies!” He now commanded, lowering his goggles into place.
At that, Luna & Twilight found themselves also in white scarves, goggles and leather flight-helmets (their horns sticking out through a single hole in front.) Discord spread his wings and crouched for take-off. The Princesses lowered their goggles into place, and did the same.
"UP WE GO!” Discord declared, and LAUNCHED skyward----the ceiling of the court room apparently gone now, replaced by clear blue skies with small white clouds. Twilight & Luna also launched, leaving the rest of the court room far below, and followed close behind Discord. “Great…” Twilight thought, more sarcastically than before, “…now we're the Wonderbolts.”
Soon the new trio of flying aces found themselves passing over the Cloudeseum in Cloudsdale! Throngs of spectator Pegasi CHEERED from the bleachers, as the trio circled the floating city stadium.
“I remember this…” Twilight mused, “…the Best Young Flier’s Competition! But, wait a minute…where’s Rarity? Where’s our other friends? And where are the real Wonderbolts? Something’s wrong again…” Twilight reported.
“''Tis a FALSE MEMORY…” Luna called back, “…it ALTERS the real one, but the dreamer cannot tell the difference!”
“LOOK! THERE SHE IS!” called Discord, pointing down to one end of the stadium.
Rainbow Dash was nudged firmly out from behind the curtain. She wore number tags on her flanks… but her wings were missing!
“CONTESTANT NUMBER 15!” said the Announcer.
“NO, WAIT! I’VE GOT NO WINGS! I CAN’T, I…OOF!” Dash was shoved off the edge!
“ OH, NO!” Twilight gasped! Her friend flailed her hooves in mid-air, suspended for a moment…
Then the wingless blue pony PLUMMETED through the skyhole in the stadium floor, to the earth far below!! “AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” she screamed!
“NOOOO!!!!” Twilight hollered!
“AwwOOOOgah!! DIVE, DIVE!” Discord ordered, submarine-style!
In a split second, all three spiraled and power-dove downward like war planes after the wingless Pegasus.
As they closed in on their target, the leader remembered his earlier aborted seizure tactic from the meeting room.
One claw-snap in mid-air, and Discord had his large butterfly net poised & ready! He then imitated a pilot's radio transmission:
“(>Tssh<) I’VE GOT THIS! BREAK OFF!(>Tssh<)” he ordered, and Luna & Twilight veered off in opposite directions.
But just as Discord caught up to Dash and swung the net for a catch…POOF! She vanished again!
“What!?” he puzzled, looking around to see where she went. Not a sign of her. “How does she do that?” Discord puzzled.
This went on for several more scenarios, where at some point Dash had regained her wings; back through Daring-Do’s jungle; back through the hallway of employer doors; back to the Wonderbolts Academy airstrip; even back through the streets of Manehattan…
Then onward into outer space, to a penal colony on an asteroid way out at the edge of the solar system, where Dash was in a striped suit doing hard labor, breaking up strange alien rocks with a mouth-hammer and hoof-chisel, as a stone-faced armed guard Maud Pie kept watch. But each time they caught up to Dash, and Discord tried to catch her, POOF! Gone again. “Seems in her dreams, Rainbow has the power to teleport.” Twilight concluded.
In a more horriflying scenario, the team found themselves over the blazing fires of Tartarus, where Dash was stranded on a lone mesa surrounded by molten lava, and staring up wide-eyed at a towering orange-flamed version of herself, wringing her forehooves, grinning like a Grinch, uttering the phrase: “I’LL JUST HAVE TO STOP WINTER!” and CACKLING like a FIEND!! The trio zoomed over Cerberus (who barked all three heads up at them) as Discord swooped down from above to grab Dash---but she POOFED again! “URGH! This is getting TIRESOME!” Discord complained, as the team soared through the gaping maw of the giant fiery Grinch-Dash…
…And came out soaring over Appleloosa, under a blazing desert sun, where Dash (her wings bound by a heavy rope again, like in the Running of the Leaves race) was being chased by an angry stampeding herd of wild buffalo!
"Shame on you, Rainbow Dash!” bellowed Chief Thunderhooves.
“We’re in a drought because of you!” yelled Little Strongheart.
“With no rain from Cloudsdale, all our crops are drying up! CURSE YOU, RAINBOW DASH!” yelled Braeburn.
“HOG-TIE THAT HOMBRE'!” Sheriff Silverstar called out!
“YOU GOT IT, PARDNER!” Discord drawled as he & the Alicorn Princesses (now changed to cowpony outfits) zoomed over the herd to catch up to Dash.
With their horns, Luna & Twilight shot a series of energy blasts on the ground, diverting Dash away from the herd, as Discord twirled a lasso, about to make a snare! But again, just as he hollered “YEE-HAW!” and cast out a loop around his prey---POOF! No Dash. “Aw, shoot!” he swore!
But then Discord went bug-eyed, seeing something coming up fast dead-ahead! “WUH-OH…” he winced.
It was the Castle of Friendship, and he was headed for one of the stained glass windows flanking the Mane Entrance golden double-doors! Moving too fast to change course, he pulled his hat down, crossed his mismatched forelimbs over his face, and braced for impact!
KE-RASH!!! The cowpoke Draconequus crashed through the window, bounced like a rubber ball off the amethyst crystalline walls of the Grand Hallway, careened through the Throne Room double doors, sprawled across the smooth polished floor, and finally slammed face-first into the crystal base, of the back of one of the Mane 6 Thrones! Sensing his momentum had finally ceased, he raised a weary claw-hand and snapped, disappeared, then reappeared standing up, his face healed and his cowpony duds conjured away.
Strangely enough, the castle seemed to be completely empty. The remaining Mane 6 plus Spike, were apparently all out for the day doing who-knew-what, without Rainbow Dash.
Luna & Twilight flew in through the broken window for softer four-point landings, their cowpony outfits also gone.
“She teleported again, didn’t she?” said Twilight flatly.
“So close!!” said Discord, balling up his fists and shaking!
Then he straightened up, ogling with wide eyes the very object at whose feet he’d just landed… Rainbow Dash’s
Throne! The 'RESERVED FOR DISCORD' sign Pinkie Pie had put on it earlier, was still there!
“AHAAA!!” Discord squealed with childish delight, “HUZZAH, HUZZAH!! So I DO have a throne on the Friendship Council after all!!” Immediately, he took the sign away and sat down in the throne, trying it on for size. “Oooh…I could get used to this!! Oh, and I simply love what you’ve done with the place...” he said, noticing the Golden Oak tree-stump chandelier and other decorum. “...the Old and the New, all together!! You know, maybe we should leave that disgusting Rainbow Dash to her fate, and make me the new Element of Loyalty! Whaddya’ say, kiddies??”
"NO, DISCORD, NO!!" Twilight scolded. “She’s been loyal to us; we should be loyal to her! Now GET OFF THAT
THRONE!”
Discord just sat, evidently not wanting to move.
"NOW!!" ordered Luna, bellowing! Again, it made Discord hold his ears & wince in pain, but he stubbornly held firm.
Softening, Twilight said: “Please?”
A pause… then, disgusted, the sourpuss Discord said: “Hmph!” Then he slunk off the throne, crossed his forelimbs,
said: “Party poopers…” and blew a raspberry with his tongue, same as Pinkie Pie.
Twilight & Luna sighed in relief.
But Discord had more to say on the matter: “Oh, yes, really loyal of RAINBOW TRASH to do just that with the life’s work of her own people, all to avoid kissing her precious pet goodbye for ONE lousy season out of the year? What kind of loyalty is that?”
"Hath thee no heart, thou calloused BRUTE?" whispered a vexed Luna about to rush him,
but Twilight put a hoof up to the Night Princess’ chest, gently halting her.
Twilight took a deep breath, thought a moment, then said: “Rainbow Dash was faced with a very difficult choice to make. She had to choose between two different loyalties: her loyalty to her fellow ponies, or her loyalty to her pet. That’s a tough choice for anypony to have to make. Anytime we’re faced with a tough choice, it drives us…well.. crazy. The stress overwhelms us, tears us up inside, and drives us to do...stupid things. Things we would never do otherwise.”
Hearing this story spill out of Twilight’s mouth, Luna’s features softened. She knew exactly where Twilight was
coming from, and where she was going with this. Luna was hanging on every word, whether Discord was or not.
“And Rainbow isn’t the only pony who did this,” Twilight continued, “We all did at one point or another. Luna did when she became jealous of Celestia…Pinkie Pie did when she thought her friends didn’t like her anymore…Applejack did when she became overly protective of Apple Bloom…Fluttershy did at our first Grand Galloping Gala when the garden animals kept avoiding her…and, well… I did, too, when I thought I’d run out of friendship lessons to learn, so I created a problem in order to solve it. Celestia came down very hard on me for that. Imagine that: one of the few times I actually made Celestia mad at me…”
That admission made Luna smile a little. She & Twilight had more in common than she thought.
“(*Ahem*) You conveniently left out Rarity & Spike, I see…” Discord reminded her.
“Well, just about everything’s a major crisis with Rarity…but there was that time when she dressed up like a country bumpkin, just to impress some fashion big-shot who liked rustic rural charm. And Spike, well…there was the time when greed got the better of him on his birthday, and he…”
“…grew up too soon?” Discord finished the sentence. “Well… aren’t you all Lords of Chaos and ex-evils in your own right?”
“And YOU…” said a now hardened Twilight, pointing a hoof at Discord!
“I know, I know…” the Draconequus interrupted, “…when I turned you all into the opposites of your Elements
back at the hedge-maze…”
“That’s NOT what I mean!” Twilight corrected, “Don’t think I didn’t see how crazy you can get with jealousy,
when Fluttershy chose Tree-Hugger over you to take to last year's Galloping Gala!”
“Oh..(heh) That...” said Discord, looking genuinely embarrassed.
Luna just barely suppressed a chuckle, but Discord raised an eyebrow at her for it.
“It can’t be easy for you, either…” Twilight continued, softening again,“…having to constantly choose
between having your fun as the Lord of Chaos, and having us for your friends. Fluttershy in particular.”
Now Twilight struck a raw nerve.
“Oh, SPARE ME your INSANITY PLEA speeches, Defense Counsel Twilight!” Discord bellowed, conjuring up a black robe, white powdered wig, judge’s gavel & podium. “We’re not in the false trial court room anymore, so it’s no use trying to get me to whitewash that rainbow pony’s crimes from my mind and forgive her, for any reason!” He claw-snapped the judge’s outfit & podium away. “Rainbow Dash did wrong, she got what was coming to her, same as the rest of us, so she might as well stop sucking her hoof like a little filly, pony up and TAKE IT LIKE A MANE!!”
“Umm…guys?” came a voice from across the hallway, accompanied by…hoof clops.
All three paused and turned to look, and saw------Rainbow Dash!
Whether she had teleported or had come flying in through the broken window, none could tell;
they didn’t see or hear her come in.
Slowly…wearily…sadly… Rainbow ambled up to the others. Her head was hung low, and her wings were drooping.
She raised her head a little bit, to see the others directly.
“Can we talk? ” she asked humbly.
CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER….