I woke up with a start. I felt something hitting my leg. Hard.
I looked over. Pinkie lay curled up next to me, eyes closed, snoring softly, and her rear legs smacking against my leg as if she were running. She was muttering something. After a few seconds, I could make it out.
"No... no... don't leave me... please... I don't want to be alone... please..."
Gently, I put one arm underneath Pinkie and pulled her against me, cuddling her. My other hand grabbed one of her front hooves and gently squeezed. Her legs stopped moving, and I started to whisper into her ear.
"Pinkie, we won't leave you, ever. We'll be here for you, always. Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, AJ, Fluttershy, Spike, me... we'll all be here. Don't you ever worry about that. You will never be alone."
After a few seconds, Pinkie nuzzled into my neck like I was a giant teddy bear, a smile on her face. I gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
"I love you, Pinkie."
I held her close as my eyelids grew heavy, keeping a grip on her hoof as sleep overtook me.
The rays of Celestia's sun peeked through my window, rolling over my face and eyes. Needless to say, the intrusion on my peaceful slumber was not appreciated.
"Someone turn the sun down." I muttered as I awoke and sat up, groggy. If I were more awake, I'd have chuckled at the fact that here, someone actually could turn the sun down.
"Good morning, Pin-"
I turned and stopped. Pinkie was gone.
"Pinks?"
No reply.
"Pinkie?"
I heard a familiar giggle come from my living room. I quickly rose... then nearly face planted due to having the grace of someone who'd just woken up. Thankfully, my dresser prevented the face plant. I stumbled to my feet and groggily walked out the door.
Pinkie was seated on the couch... next to a familiar looking golden colored mare in black horn-rims...
"You!" I shouted. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Goldie turned to me, smirking.
"What? Can't a girl come see her friend?" Goldie replied.
"After what happened last night, you are not remotely my friend..."
"Not you, monkey boy. I was talking about the pink one." She turned toward Pinkie.
"Hi, Maxie!" Pinkie said, waving a foreleg at me. "Goldie and I have been talking, and you know... She's right..."
"Right on what?" I asked.
"That a relationship between us wouldn't work. I mean, two different species? That would be so icky!"
My heart ripped right in half as Goldie shot a wicked smile my way.
"Sorry, Max..." Goldie said, her voice dripping with irony. "...but it's like I said, you're the only human here. You're just destined to be alone."
I collapsed into my recliner, trying to repress my tears. Goldie continued.
"Oh, don't worry about Pinkie. She'll be much happier with the stallion I brought over."
As if on cue, a dark-green stallion trotted through my front door. He was a bit pudgy, with a scruffy brown-mane and tail... and he looked familiar.
"Hi, Pinks." He said... in my voice...
"Ooh! I could just eat you up!" Pinkie said to him, voice dripping with lust.
Goldie turned to me. "Max here, now he's the perfect match for her in all the important areas. He has four legs... a coat... he's everything you're not."
Then she started cackling... long peals of hideous cackling... cackles that could chip paint right off a wall...
I plugged my ears, desperate to shut out the noise. It was fruitless. I looked away... there stood Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow and Spike... all laughing that same hideous cackle.
I turned the other way. There stood Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Pound and Pumpkin in tow, cackling as well.
"STOP!!!" I shouted. "PLEASE STOP!!! PLEASE!!! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!! PLEASE..."
"Maxie..."
"STOP LAUGHING!!!"
"Maxie?"
"...please..."
"MAXIE!!"
My eyes shot open. My heart was pounding, and a cold sweat ran down my body. I felt two forelegs pull me into a hug, a hug I quickly returned.
"Shh... Maxie... shh..."
I buried my head in Pinkie's shoulder, and the tears started to flow freely. I sobbed into her shoulder, each sob a heaving one.
"Maxie... what happened? You were telling someone to stop laughing."
I just tightened my hold on my marefriend, never wanting to let her go.
"Maxie?"
After a while, I was able to calm down and tell Pinkie about my nightmare, every horrifying detail. When I was finished, Pinkie took my hand in her hoof.
"Maxie..." Pinkie started. "...don't you listen to Goldie. She's just a big meany-pants. I just can't believe I didn't see that she was."
"Don't beat yourself up about it, Pinks." I replied. "It happens. Besides, it wasn't just what she said that bothered me last night."
"Oh?" Pinkie started rubbing my hand with her hoof.
"I could have shrugged it off if it weren't for the fact that, in the entire place, I didn't see any other couples besides pony and pony. No changelings, no griffons..."
Pinkie looked at me, her eyes radiating pure compassion... then I heard a small "ding!" as a large smile crossed her face.
"Wait here!" Pinkie said excitedly. I didn't have long to do so as a pink blur shot through my front door, then returned just as quickly. Pinkie hopped back on my bed and took a seat next to me, a leather-bound photo album in her mouth.
"Brhhis eff myfh-" Pinkie started.
"Uh, Pinks..." I started. "Might want to spit out the album before you speak."
Pinkie's eyes darted down, saw the album in her mouth, and her cheeks turned red in embarrassment.
"Fohrry."
She dropped the album on the bed and started flicking through it.
"This is my family photo album. There's a picture or two in here I'd like you to see." She said.
In a moment, she stopped on a large, glossy photo of a griffon holding a pony that bore a large resemblance to Pinkie. She had Pinkie's baby-blues, but sported an indigo coat and a red-and-pink striped mane and tail, along with a cutie mark of an ice cream soda. The griffon had a large pencil-thin mustache. A chef's hat sat atop his head, and a red bandana was tied around his neck. The pair were lovingly nuzzling each other.
"Interesting couple." I said.
"That's my cousin Fizzypop!" Pinkie said. "She runs a soda shoppe in Canterlot. You haven't truly lived until you've tried her root beer floats."
"Who's the griffon?"
"That's Gustave Le Grand! He's a super-famous pastry chef. I met him when the Cakes had to get their Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness to Canterlot for that dessert competition a few years back."
Oh, God... I remembered trying a slice of MMMM when the Cakes made it for a local pastry competition a few months back. Anything that causes you to hear the Hallelujah Chorus the instant it touches your taste buds... mmmm...
"Anyway, Poppy was asked to tend bar for the party after the judging. Gustave tried her float, they got to talking, they hit it off, and they've been married for a couple years now."
Pinkie looked at me and continued.
"You see, Maxie, they're not the only ones who found love outside of their species. Lemon Meringue... she's another cousin... she's been dating a changeling!"
She took my hand into her hoof again and held it to her heart. I could feel the steady, rhythmic beat under her plush coat as she spoke.
"That's why you have this, Maxie. That's why you have my heart. Lots of ponies found someone who wasn't a pony. They're really, really happy with each other. I'm one of them."
She gave me a light peck on the lips.
"I love you because you're you. I don't want anypony else."
I pulled Pinkie into another hug. She nuzzled into my shoulder, and my nostrils got a whiff of her cotton candy scented mane.
"I love you too, Pinks." I replied.
"If it makes you feel better, I had a bad dream, too." Pinkie said.
"I could tell. My leg's going to be bruised from you running in your sleep."
"I'm sorry." Pinkie said, sheepish. "Can I tell you about it?"
"Why not?" I replied.
"It's one I have sometimes where my friends, well... they abandon me... I'm left there all alone. It scares me even though I know they'd never do that, but it still does. But this time was different."
"How?"
"I saw this... angel... after they left me... he hugged me and took my hoof, and you know what he said?"
"What?"
"He said... 'Pinkie, we won't leave you, ever. We'll be here for you, always. Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, AJ, Fluttershy, Spike, me... we'll all be here. Don't you ever worry about that. You will never be alone.'"
I could feel my heart grow three sizes.
"And it was your voice he used."
She put her hooves on my cheeks and turned my head so I was facing her. As she leaned in and kissed me, I heard her say...
"Thank you, my guardian angel..."