"Welcome to the Brotherhooves social," Big Macintosh greeted a pair of brothers. "I see you were able to make it, Northstar."
"Applejack is here, right?" Northstar looked around, scanning the area for the perfect country mare fantasy. "Besides, I needed some reason to drag this hoofhead out of his room." Northstar motioned to his little brother, Cosmic, a purple-maned yellow pony.
"I was on the final world of Super Pony Land!" The colt protested.
"C'mon, Cosmo," Northstar protested, "you gotta get some fresh air."
"Fresh air is for the weak!" The nerdy colt protested ", and you're just here to show off in front of Applejack".
"Hey hey not so loud." Northstar turned back to Big Macintosh. "Least you managed a decent turn out, though."
"I'll say," Applejack blurted in.
"Huh, oh hey AJ!" Northstar's eyes lit up. "What are you wearing?"
Applejack sported a white shirt over herself. "I thought I would dig this thing out for the occasion."
"PULL!" Somepony yelled launching a salvo of water balloons.
"What the!" Applejack yelled out as some of the salvo missed their target and pelted her. "Aw shoot. I'm all wet…" Applejack groaned.
Northstar's face had gone stiff. So had the rest of his body for that matter.
"North…" Cosmic poked his brother.
"Something wrong with him?" Applejack asked.
"Hmm." Cosmic gave his brother a rather hard buck.
Northstar yelped in pain. "I'm fine!"
"You sure?" Applejack asked.
"I'm fine, Apple Juice."
"Applejack."
"What you said." Northstar gave a cheesy grin and tried to excuse himself. "C'mon, Cosmo, let's try some of the games." Northstar grabbed Cosmic and bolted off.
"That was odd," Applejack commented.
Big Macintosh had a look of total exasperation. He looked over to his sister. "Why are you wearing that…"
"This is suppose to be a brother day right? Well last I checked my brother gave me this shirt," She replied.
"What's this?"
"A shirt."
"Yeah but… why?"
"I don't know."
"Yes… but… well…" How could he tell her how she looked…
"Greetings, fellow brothers," Came a new voice. Big Macintosh and Applejack turned to the new pair of brothers to show. Well, they weren't brothers.
"Twilight… what are you doing?" Applejack asked with mild amusement.
"Who is this Twilight?" The baseball cap wearing mare replied. "I am Dusk Shine." Twilight tried to look as boyish as possible. Something about it Big Macintosh found unsettlingly adorable.
"I told her I was going to come here," Spike made his presence known, "and she said something about studying and a possible lesson to be had from this."
"Still afraid you're going to miss a friendship report?" Applejack asked.
"A little." Twil- I mean Dusk grinned. "This is a celebration of brotherly affection and no science ever benefitted from not gathering data."
"You've made your point, Dusk," Applejack joked, "so come on in. Don't let a pretty mare like me distract you." Applejack and Tw- I mean Dusk shared a good laugh before sh- I mean he stepped through the gateway and into the event.
"Don't see that every day," Big Macintosh replied, somewhat stunned.
"Don't see what every day?" A British voice answered and asked.
"Oh, hi, Pipsqueak," Big Macintosh greeted him.
"Cheerio, Big Macintosh. I made it for the Brotherhooves Social."
"You have any brothers, Pipsqueak?" Applejack asked.
"No. Just… four… older… sisters…" Pipsqueak fidgeted around, looking high and low, left and right as if just acknowledging their existence would summon the gaggle of mysterious sisters that plagued Pipsqueak's life.
"How about you just get inside and make yourself comfortable," Big Macintosh gestured to the Brotherhooves Social grounds.
"Thank you very much," Pipsqueak replied with enthusiasm as he skipped along inside.
"You sure gathered all sorts of colts for this event," Applejack replied.
"Can't be too picky," Big Macintosh replied, "now when are you going to change that shirt?"
"What's wrong with it?" Applejack was truly clueless.
"It's… well… you see… forget it…" Big Macintosh decided it wasn't worth the aneurism. "It's time for the events anyway."
The first event: The pie eating contest. Big brothers race to devour pies while little brothers bring the pies over the big brothers. Rules forbid little brothers from running to grab a pie until the elder brother finishes the first pie. Three pairs of brothers sat at the table. On the right most end sat Northstar with Cosmic looking bored in front of him. Next to Northstar sat-
"Snails?" Big Macintosh looked at the lanky colt.
"Yep." Snails grinned as he sat at the table, less than half of Northstar's size.
"But who's your 'little brother'?" Big Macintosh asked.
"That would be me!" Snips piped up below Big Macintosh's field of vision.
"Okay." Big Macintosh stared at Snail's puny body and then at Snail's stout body. They weren't winning anytime soon.
To the left of them sat Caramel and Noteworthy. "You're related?" Big Macintosh asked.
"Like, totally," Caramel replied.
"Brothers from another mother," Noteworthy added.
"Got caramel pie?" Caramel asked.
"I hope the lot of you are ready for some apple family pie!" Applejack entered the scene. Northstar, Caramel, and Noteworthy forgot how to breathe.
"I'd like to eat some of your pie," Noteworthy commented.
"Good. Cause you are," Applejack innocently replied. Big Macintosh could have bucked Noteworthy straight to Canterlot. "On your mark!" Applejack started. "Get set! Go!"
Northstar tore his eyes away from the sparkling mare, hard as it was, and planted his face straight into the pie. In a matter of seconds it was gone. "Cosmic!"
Cosmic didn't hear his brother. He was too busy staring off into space in bored disinterest. "Cosmic!" Northstar yelled again. Cosmic didn't hear a thing.
"Dude, Switch with me!" Noteworthy yelled at Caramel. "I want some pie."
"No way, man. This stuff is too good." Caramel grinned, bits of crust stuck in his teeth.
"Oh skrew it." Noteworthy ran up to the pie table and just started to eat from there. Or at least he was.
"Oh no you don't." Applejack gave Noteworthy a hard buck. "No cheatin'!"
"But… I just wanted pie…" Noteworthy moaned, clutching his side.
"We have a winner!" Big Macintosh announced. "Snails and Snips."
"What!?" Caramel complained. "Little scrawny-" Caramel's mouth fell open as he looked towards the small pair of colts. Snails downed the pies like a conveyer belt. Every time Snips placed a pie in front of him Snails would use his newly learned magic to pry off the pan and down the pie in a single bite. Snips himself had proven to be unusually light on his hooves. He just seemed to glide along the ground. Like magic! It probably was magic. "That’s cheating!" Caramel argued.
"No," Applejack countered, "eating from the pie table is cheatin'. Snails is still eating the pies and Snips still has to run up to the table to grab one. No cheatin' here." Applejack wryly smiled.
Big Macintosh placed a tiny plastic trophy before the two colts. They had simple responses. "More please," Snails asked.
"He's got a magic hole in his stomach," Snips added.
"I'm sure." Big Macintosh smiled.
"Cosmic! What where you doing?" Northstar grabbed his younger brother. "You were supposed to grab me those pies."
"Huh? Oh, yeah, forgot."
"Little brat."
"Big jerk!"
"Puny punk!"
"Giant ass!"
"I look nothing like uncle Jack." Northstar gave Cosmic a noogie. "Take this you tiny runt."
"Stop it!" Cosmic replied between fits of laughter.
"I remember when you used to give me those," Applejack laughed, "what happened."
"I put on two tons of weight," Big Macintosh replied.
"You're right," Applejack laughed, "I forgot how scrawny you used to be.
"You're too small, Macintosh!"
"I'm taller than you."
"By an inch, and you're supposed to be the big brother."
"I'm just a late bloomer."
"You gotta get bigger!"
"I'm fine as is."
"Oh yeah!"
"Hey! Ow! That hurts!"
"Can't be a big brother if your lil sister can do this."
"Hey, watch it, Appleja- OW! Oh yeah!"
"What, hey, ow my head!"
"Guess if you tried that on me you'd crush me," Applejack commented.
"Eeyup," Big Macintosh affirmed. "What's the next event."
"Oh, I got Apple Bloom to do the mud wrestlin' event."
"All right all you namby pamby ponies! It's time to get down and dirty in the mud!" Apple Bloom announced. "Who's up for some mud wrastlin'!"
"I'm Pipsqueak the mud-wrestler," Pipsqueak boldly announced, earnest to prove his manhood by playing in the dirt, "and who accepts my summons to a fight!"
"It's kind of a two on two event, Pipsqueak. Who's your second?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Oh." Pipsqueak looked over to the crowd. "Who wants to be my brother?" Pipsqueak asked, unknowingly putting on his cutest face. No pony stepped forward.
"I guess… we can make an exception." Apple Bloom felt a little sorry for Pipsqueak. "So who's going to take on this mighty mud wrastler."
"I'm game." Spike put himself forward. "Plus I heard mud is great for cleaning scales."
"Go get 'em, little bro," Dusk cheered.
"Dude, what's up with Twilight?"
"A new challenger approaches. Hooves will fly at this location!" Apple Bloom announced.
Spike threw himself into the ring. "The answer lies… in the heart of battle," Spike said in a very serious tone.
Pipsqueak stepped into the ring. He stretched a foreleg and assumed his battle pose. "Let's fight like gentlemen."
"I don't get it," Apple Bloom commented, "but get wrastelin'!"
Spike threw himself onto Pipsqueak. His claws gave him an advantage in the muddy terrain since it was hard for either of them to move.
Still, Pipsqueak had his own trick. He pried Spike off himself. Spike tries to counter with another grappling attack, but Pipsqueak managed to duck in under it. Spike registered the whiff too late as Pipsqueak flashed and socked him straight in the face. And then again… and again… and again… and again… "Rolling Thunder!" Pipsqueak announced as he delivered one last blow to Spike, launching the dragon into the air and turning his back as Spike fell to the ground.
"Oh, wow, didn’t see that coming," Apple Bloom commented. "Normally the second would come in now?"
"Oh, that's me!" Dusk announced. "As Spike's older brother it is now my duty to fight for his honor… right?"
"Twilight, are you okay?" Apple Bloom had to ask.
"I'm Dusk today," Dusk replied.
"Suuuure… Dusk… okay… Dusk vs Pipsqueak?"
Dusk jumped into the ring. "Don't worry brother, I will avenge you."
"Twilight… don't you think this is going a little too far?" Spike just had to ask.
"Actually, this is kind of fun," Twilight admitted… I mean Dusk! "Anyway, Pipsqueak, I'm ready for you!"
Pipsqueak only had one chance. Beat her in a single blow. He wound his tiny hoof back. "Corkskrew-"
Twilight tipped Pipsqueak over. "I win!" Dusk announced.
"Winner, Twilight!" Apple Bloom announced.
"It's Dusk today!" Twilight stated adamantly.
"Well, unless a second shows up, I guess… Dusk and Spike win," Apple Bloom announced as the sky began to dim. "Ugh, where'd light go?"
"That was hardly a gentlemanly fight." A thick English accented broke the silence. At the center of the arena a pile of muck was beginning to grow.
"I agree with that sentiment." Another think English accented agreed with the first.
"But Pipsqueak is just the youngest of the Victorian siblings." A third voice.
"For now, Dusk Shine, you face us." And a fourth voice.
The mound of mud exploded, revealing four pinto mares that surrounded themselves around Pipsqueak. "We are the Victorian sisters! The older sisters of Pipsqueak and we are his second!" They all announced at once.
"Where did they come from?" Spike asked no one in particular. "Isn't this against the rules?"
"Yeah! It is!" Apple Bloom asserted. "Pipsqueak and his sisters are disqualified on account of sneaking extra fighters into the ring. How dare you insult the honor of the mud wrastelin' ring!" Apple Bloom jumped down from her post and asserted herself before the mares. "I oughta pop you for pulling this kind of shenanigan. I mud wrastle here, dang it!"
"Terribly sorry!" The eldest sister replied.
"You better be." Apple Bloom eyed the mare before turning back to address the crowd. "Winner! Dusk and Spike!"
"Awwww…." The crowd groaned, deprived of the chance to watch five mares wrestle in the mud.
"We did it, Spike!" Dusk announced with glee as she held the dragon in the air with her magic and spinning him around her.
"That's great and all, Twilight… I mean Dusk... We beat up a little colt… but if you keep spinning me I'm gonna… I'm gonna…"
"Greetings Twilight… I mean Dusk…" Big Macintosh waved to the mare that was pretending to be a stallion.
"Oh, hey Big Macintosh. Who won the pie eating contest?"
"Snips and Snails surprisingly enough. For a little guy Snails sure can put pie away."
"Oh yeah, he's got quite the stomach. I've been meaning to put some research into it," Dusk said with full seriousness. Much like Pinkie Senses, the mechanics behind Snail's tummy eluded her. She hoped this would end with fewer injuries, though.
"You participated in the mud wrestlin' contest?" Big Macintosh asked, noting the mud all over her and Spike.
"Yep, and won!" Dusk jubilantly held up her trophy. "I never got first place for a physical excursion before!"
"That’s because our opponent was Pipsqueak." Spike pried himself away from the trash can, his stomach void of any content. "His sisters snuck into the ring so he was disqualified for having too many seconds or something."
"Wait… his sisters snuck in?" Big Macintosh questioned.
"Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. The sky got all dark and they just popped out of nowhere," Spike described the scene.
"Odd…" Big Macintosh drolled. "Well, congratulations on winning."
"Thanks," Dusk replied.
"I gotta get going now. Later, Twilight." Big Macintosh went on his way.
"It's Dusk!" Twilight groaned.
"Twilight, really, why are you doing this?" Spike asked.
"I thought you wanted a big brother." Twilight looked to the baby dragon. "I mean, I can't actually be one. No spell can do that. At least I hope no spell can, but I figured I could pretend for you."
Spike just started to laugh. "That sounds so silly."
"Hey, I'm trying to be nice to you here," Twilight replied, annoyance in her voice. "I mean, why else did you want to come here."
"I don't know," Spike replied, "figure it would be fun to spend a day around guys for once," Spike told her.
"Oh…" Twilight looked down. "I guess you wanted a day away from me."
"I would never want that."
"Huh?" Twilight looked back to Spike.
"You’re like my sister, Twilight. The best sister a dragon could ask for."
"But you said you wanted to come here."
"Yeah, I did, but I'm even happier you came with me." Spike smiled up to the most important being in the world to him. "This has been really fun."
"You know, it has been." Twilight smiled back down to him. "You know, I also wanted to do this so we could have some fun together. Just the two of us."
"Really!"
"Yep. So what to next?"
"Boar racing!"
"Boar racing?"
"We're so sorry, Pipsqueak!" The eldest replied.
"We didn't know that sneaking in like that would get you disqualified," The second eldest replied.
"We just couldn't bear to see our adorable little brother getting hurt like that!" The third eldest replied.
"We just had to come to your rescue!" The fourth eldest replied.
"You did that for me?" Pipsqueak asked, curiously.
"Of course! You're our little brother!" All four of them tackled him, holding him up, and embracing him in a family hug.
"You four… are my favorite sisters ever!" Pipsqueak cried.
"You're our favorite brother ever, Pipsqueak!" The four of them replied, all five of them now bawling their eyes out.
"Wait, how did you know I was here?" Pipsqueak asked.
"Oh, silly."
"We follow you wherever you go."
"To town, to school, to the bathroom."
"You're never alone, Pipsqueak."
"Never ever ever."
"We're always close by."
"Making sure our precious brother is safe."
"Because… we're so afraid you might get hurt."
"You girls…" Pipsqueak, disregarding some of the creepier aspect of the exchange, felt touched that his sisters worried so much about him. "Thank you."
"That'll be three bits each," Applejack told the pair of brothers.
"Oh, sure, of course," Northstar replied.
"You ever sell anything that doesn't have apples in it?" Cosmic questioned.
"Isn't he cute," Applejack replied, mildly annoyed. "No."
"Apples are the best," Northstar replied.
"Glad to know some pony here has their head on straight," Applejack replied.
"Aww, thanks."
"You're only saying that because you can see through her shirt," Cosmic finally said.
"What! That’s a lie! C'mon, Cosmo!" Starlight grabbed his brother and bolted in another direction.
Applejack scratched her head. "I don't get it. I don't normally wear cloths anyway."
"So take off the shirt," Big Macintosh told his sister. The irony was that the pie slices were selling like hot cakes.
"It's fine, Big Macintosh. Besides, the race is about to start."
"I suppose I do need to go host that."
"Oh leave that to me. I mean you goin' and participatin'!"
Big Macintosh raised an invisible eyebrow. "Participate? With who?"
"Look down, big guy," Applejack laughed.
Big Macintosh looked down. Below him stood Apple Bloom. "Since I didn't get to race in the Sisterhooves Social the other day Applejack recommended I race with you in the Brotherhooves Social." She smiled as wide as she could. "Can I can I can I!?"
"I guess it's not a problem." This was entirely new for Big Macintosh. He never got to race in any of the obstacle courses, and with Apple Bloom? How in sync could they be?
"Great! Now why don't you all go head for the starting point and we can get the show underway," Applejack told them.
Big Macintosh placed himself at the starting point. Besides him, Apple Bloom jumped up and down, excited for the race. "I guess you really like obstacle courses," Big Macintosh commented.
"Yep!" Apple Bloom giggled, "but this is also the first time I get to race with you, big bro!"
"It is." Big Macintosh smiled.
"Yo, Big Mac," Northstar called to him. "Participating in the race with your little sister?"
"Looks like it." Big Macintosh turned to him. "Managed to convince Cosmic to race?"
"Yep," Northstar replied.
"Only cost him twenty bits," Cosmic added.
"My brother, the shrewd businesspony," Northstar laughed. "Well good luck to you."
"Good luck you too," Big Macintosh added.
"Hey, what about us." Spike appeared between the two.
"And who are you racing with?" Northstar questioned.
"Twilight of course," Spike added, gesturing to the purple unicorn.
"Not Dusk anymore?" Apple Bloom laughed.
"No," Twilight responded, "in retrospect it was pretty silly, but I did have some fun."
"Well then good luck to everypony! … and Spike!" Apple Bloom hollered.
"Howdy all!" Applejack called into a microphone. "Welcome to our first every Brotherhooves Social race."
"Woo! Applejack!" Northstar yelled out. "Rocking that… microphone… yeah… microphone…" Big Macintosh was going to smack Northstar.
"Can you be anymore embarrassing?" Cosmic groaned.
"I think it's sweet," Apple Bloom commented.
"Yeah, if you're thick as a brick and want to get girl germs. Ew," Cosmic gagged.
"Still afraid of cooties?" Apple Bloom smiled.
"Cooties are a real threat to colts everywhere. They make us act like… that." Cosmic gestured to his brother. Northstar just continued to stare at Applejack, him face plastered with serene dopiness. "The last thing I want is to end up like that."
"Is that so," Apple Bloom laughed.
"Now why don’t we get the show on the road. On your mark!" Applejack yelled. Each pony dug their hooves into the ground. "Get set!" Big Macintosh snorted. "Go y'all!" Applejack signaled the beginning of the race.
Big Macintosh shot off like a runaway train. There was no way any of the foals or Twilight or Northstar could keep up with him.
"Wait for me, Big Macintosh!" Apple Bloom cried out. Unfortunately, neither could Apple Bloom.
"Sorry, Bloom." Big Macintosh slowed himself down allowing Apple Bloom, and everypony else, to catch up.
The first obstacle was the mud pile. "Wait for me, Applejack!" Northstar yelled out as he galloped through the mud, Cosmic behind him taking advantage of the tail wind.
"Nnnope. C'mon, Bloom." Macintosh stepped into the mud. His heavy steps plowed through the muck, throwing mud everywhere and clearing an easy path for Apple Bloom to follow through.
Up next, the buckets. "Dangit," Big Macintosh cursed under his breath as he saw the buckets come into view. He slowed his pace down, allowing Apple Bloom to overtake him.
Apple Bloom expertly navigated the buckets, possibly because she had done this so many times before. "C'mon, big bro. It's easy!" She cheered.
Big Macintosh came down to barely a walk as he placed one hoof in one bucket and another hoof in another. Easy, sure. He stepped from one bucket to another, occasionally knocking one away and choosing to ignore it. "Just a little further," he muttered to himself.
"Catch you at the end, Big Hooves!" Northstar called out to Big Macintosh as he overtook him on his own bucket course.
Big Macintosh huffed and picked up his pace, knocking over and away more buckets than he should have, but now was not the time to be thinking about that. "Ready, Bloom?"
"Darn' tootin'!" Apple Bloom was back by his side. "The next obstacle is the crates!"
"Crates now?" Big Macintosh smiled. "Bloom, bite my tail!"
"Okay!" Apple Bloom hopped up and bite down on Big Macintosh's cropped tail.
"Here we go!" Big Macintosh took off like a crazy train. The crates came into view, and he had no intention of slowing down.
"Hurry up, Twilight!" Spike called down from the apex of mount crate-more.
"Sorry," Twilight apologized, "I guess the first two parts took more out of me then I realized."
"Hey what's that?" Spike pointed to a red blur coming up on another lane.
"Is that Big Mac-"
Big Macintosh exploded through the crates. The sheer force of the nonsensical explosion actually knocked down everypony else from their own crate challenges. Big Macintosh looked behind him to make sure Apple Bloom was all right. Apple Bloom had the widest grin he had ever seen. "'at 'as aw'ome!" She said with tail in her mouth.
"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh smiled back.
Big Macintosh skidded to a stop in front of the next obstacle, the pie table. Apple Bloom let go of his tail. "Wowee! We're gonna need to do that again sometime, big bro!"
"Sure, little sis," Big Macintosh beamed down, "now eat your pie."
"Curse that Big Macintosh! Making me look bad in front of Applejack!" Northstar cursed as he climbed the crates again.
"Because you can do that all on your own," Cosmic chided.
"I'll have you know all my fumblings are part of a perfectly executed plan to make Applejack fall madly in love with me."
"Is that so?" Cosmic questioned the elder brother.
"Yep! By pretending to be a complete dork around her my adorability factor increases."
"That makes no sense."
"That’s 'cause you're not a stallion in love."
"Celestia help me if I ever start acting as stupid as you do," Cosmic gagged.
"When that happens I'll be sure to teach you every trick I have for capturing a filly's heart." Northstar grinned as he finally reached the top again.
"Your resume is depressing," Cosmic chided as he jumped down.
"Aren’t you the wise guy."
"I was taught by the best."
Northstar grinned from ear to ear. "I know, and I'm so proud. Now to finally eat some pie!"
The hay bale push was nothing before the farmer ponies and now Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom rounded the corner for their next challenge, stomping grapes. "Leave this one to me, big brother." Apple Bloom wore a face of determination. "Just launch me up!"
"Here you go!" Big Macintosh grabbed Apple Bloom's tail with his teeth and launched her into the grape barrel.
"Heya Big Mac," Spike called out from a parallel barrel.
"Spike!?" Big Macintosh's mouth dropped. "But we passed you!"
"All is fair in love and war," Twilight called out from behind the juice barrel.
"Wait," Big Macintosh had to slow down, "you're in love with AJ too?"
"What! No!" Twilight fumed in anger. "This is supposed to be war. Really, Big Macintosh."
"My apologies." Big Macintosh blushed at the oddly-cute-when-angry pony.
"Apology accepted." Twilight smiled.
"Big Macintosh, the grape juice…" Apple Bloom sighed.
"Oh, right!" Big Macintosh fumbled the jar around while Twilight expertly maneuvered her own jar with her magic. The race was back on.
Apple Bloom jumped out of her barrel and took off with Big Macintosh."Quite makin' googly eyes! We have a race to win!" Apple Bloom berated her elder brother.
"Yes ma'am." Big Macintosh resigned himself as he picked up his speed. Twilight and Spike had a bit of a head start, but he was sure he could catch up. "Next stop is the apple buckin', right?"
"Yep," Apple Bloom smiled, "my specialty."
The table of Apples came into view. Twilight and Spike had already reached the table, but Twilight was throwing the apples at Spike only a few at a time and Spike proved a lousy catcher. This was Big Macintosh's and Apple Bloom's shot. "Now!" Big Macintosh called back to Apple Bloom who overtook him to take her place by the catching barrel. He had seen Applejack do this a million times. Hopefully emulating her technique would be enough. He launched himself into the air and onto the end of the table. The apples were launched into the air, and overflew their mark.
"Guess you're too big to try that one." Apple Bloom smiled back amused at the event. "Don't worry I got 'em!"
"Nice one," Northstar called to him, "nothing like Applejack though. She's always so graceful and-"
"Lover boy! Race!" Cosmic yelled at Northstar from the apple barrel. "Throw them already!"
"Oh! Right!" Northstar called back.
"Looks like this one is going to go to Team Spike and Twilight!" Spike jeered.
"I thought it was Team Twilight and Spike we agreed on," Twilight laughed.
"Same difference," Spike dismissed as he caught the last apple. "See you all at the finish line!"
"Almost done," Apple Bloom called back to Big Macintosh.
"But not done enough," Northstar commented as he tossed the last apple, not even bothering to make sense. "You sister is mine, Big Mac!" Northstar took off.
"When did this turn into a race for Applejack?" Big Macintosh struggled to understand Northstar's thought process. He looked back at the mess he caused.
"And done!" Apple Bloom proudly called back. "Let's go, big bro! Applejack's honor is at stake!" It was?
"Penalty!" Applejack yelled at Twilight. "You can't use magic at the egg event."
"What!" Spike cried. "Where does it say that!"
"Right here." Applejack pointed to the [strike]Sister[/strike]Brotherhooves race rule sheet and, right where it mentions the egg balance event, bold words specifically stated usage of magic is forbidden.
"Oh." Spike stared at the sheet. "What's the penalty?"
"Five minutes out of the race," Applejack stated.
"What! We're gonna lose!" Spike cried.
"Rules are rules, Spike," Twilight lamented.
"What happened to all is fair in love and war?" Spike commented back.
"Love? You like Big Macintosh, Twi'?" Applejack asked, raising an invisible eyebrow.
"What? Big Mac and I?" Twilight blushed. "No no. He's so big and I'm so… not," Twilight stated as if it was some universe abiding fact. "This is… supposed to be war."
"And Team Space Case takes first place!" Northstar announced as he emerged from the chicken coop, an egg balanced between him and Cosmic.
"Space case is right," Cosmic commented with deadpan humor.
"Well looky here, I didn't think you could make it this far, Northstar!" Applejack hollered to him.
"For a stallion in love anything is possible!" Northstar proudly stated.
Applejack felt confused for a moment before finally understanding Northstar's weird behavior. "Well, I didn't take you for a coltcuddler there, Northstar. Though, I can tell you for sure Big Macintosh likes mares."
"What!" Northstar's head shot straight up, launching the egg with it. "What! No! I like mares too!"
"Hey, Idiot! The egg!" Cosmic tried to get Northstar's attention, but to no avail.
"Oh?" Applejack tilted her head. "Oh! So you like Twilight!"
"No! I like-"
"Eggs!" Cosmic yelled in frustration.
"Eggs?" Applejack questioned.
"Eggs!" Northstar ran back inside the chicken coop. The two emerged from the coop, an egg balanced between their noses.
"Speaking of eggs," Applejack looked back to Twilight. "Your five minutes are up."
"Finally!" Spike sighed as he ran back to the coop with Twilight behind him. The two emerged again, this time with Spike holding the egg. "Any rule against this?"
Applejack flipped through the [strike]Sister[/strike]Brotherhooves race rule sheet. "No," she grumbled. This was definitely cheating, but not against the rules.
"Fingers, gotta love 'em." Spike smirked.
Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom emerged from their own coop, an egg balanced between them. Egg handling was part of their family lineage. Neither of them was going to drop it. "Easy as pie," Apple Bloom remarked.
All three eggs were placed in the basket at the same time, and with it each pony (and a single dragon) galloped off.
The final stretch and obstacle came into view. A bumper they had to jump over and into the finish line. "I'm gonna win, Big Mac!" Northstar called out.
"Nnnope!" Big Macintosh called back.
"For lady Applejack's honor!" Apple Bloom cried out.
"What was that about Applejack?" Twilight asked.
"We're racing for her honor, apparently?" Spike answered, perched atop Twilight.
"When did you get up there?"
"APPLEJAAAAAAAACK!"
"Pipe down!"
"Guys, we're approaching the bumper."
"Isn't this cheating?"
"Winner is gonna get a kiss!"
"When was that decided!"
"Nnnope!"
"Jump you idiots!" Cosmic was finally able to get everyone's attention right before they all crashed into it. They all jumped.
Big Macintosh landed with a very loud thud that could have shaken all of Equestria. He strained to breathe as the shock worked its way through his body. He opened his eyes. The finish line lay before his eyes.
"I did it!" Northstar whinnied. "I've won Applejack's heart!"
"You've done what now?" Applejack questioned.
"I won your heart… you know by coming in first place…" Northstar tried to explain his train of thought. It was going nowhere.
"Really?" Applejack didn't understand, "but congratulations on winning the first ever Brotherhooves race, Northstar and Cosmic."
"Yes!" Cosmic jumped in the air with joy, the first actual and genuine emotion he expressed all day. "Who's number one, we're number one! I'm number one! And-" Cosmic noticed everyone staring at him. Blushing, he cleared his throat and then his expression. "I mean, where's my twenty bits."
"So, fair maiden Applejack," Northstar started, "I am ready to receive my prize. Something about a kiss."
"When and who decided that!" Big Macintosh roared.
"It's all right, Big Mac." Applejack smiled and turned back to Northstar. "Pucker up, big boy."
"At once, my lady." Northstar closed his eyes and pursed his lips. His mouth met with Applejack's. At once he wanted to embrace her body, but held himself back. He found solace in a single, long kiss. Their tongues met, tasting one another. Albeit, he did not expect Applejack to use so much tongue. In fact she was practically licking his face. "Hey, Apple-" Northstar opened his eyes. He was kissing a dog.
"Whoa there Northstar, Winoa is a lady of fine standards you know," Applejack teased.
"Ruff ruff!" Winoa possibly agreed, causing Northstar collapsed to the floor. Winoa continued to lick his face contently. Dang dog!
"Yeesh. Teenagers and their kissing," Cosmic groaned while sticking out his tongue.
"Oh I think it's sweet," Apple Bloom retorted.
"Of course you would. You’re a filly," Cosmic dismissed Apple Bloom, right before she pecked him on the cheek.
"I said the winner gets a kiss." Apple Bloom smiled.
"Apple Bloom!" Big Macintosh called out her name, face filled with horror. He thought he would need to protect Applejack from Northstar's advances, not stop Apple Bloom from kissing colts.
"Ew! Cooties! Cooties! Get 'em off!" Cosmic jumped. "C'mon, bro. We need to get out of here!"
"But! My kiss! Applejack!" Northstar found himself being pulled away by the tail. "Applejack! I love you!" He yelled out.