//------------------------------// // Here's...why // Story: Do...You? // by Dr Atlas //------------------------------// “Beautiful...isn’t it?” “What? The moon?” Doomie stopped looking at the moon and tried to find something else to point out. “N-No, not the moon...I mean...that flower over there, or...that tree, or...uh...that mutant goat statue…o-or.” Pinkie giggled. Finding it adorable that he was pointing out random things in the garden. “You were gonna say moon, weren’t ya?” Doomie sighed. “Yeah, I was...g-give me a break, I wasn’t that good in seducing 103.” “It’s alright, Doomie. I find it cute.” “What? That I say corny stuff?” “That and how you try to hide it.” Doomie crossed his arms. “I’m trying my best, it’s just...hard to come up with nice things to say to a prey-er...mare.” “I said it’s alright. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself, Doomie. We only met for the first time, you know, and I’m sure love like this will last forever. “But, last time I heard, love at first sight doesn’t exist…R-Right?” Pinkie stared straight at him for five seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter. Doomie stepped back in surprised and waited for her to calm down. After a minute or so of this, and rolling on the grass, Pinkie finally regained her composure and took deep breaths. “D-Doomie! HAHAHAAHow silly can you get? W-what makes you think first sight doesn’t exist?” Doomie started fighting, feeling like a complete idiot for saying this outloud. “W-well…” Pinkie continued giggling. “Doomie, if I didn’t even see you at the start, heheh...h-how could I even love you? I mean, if we never saw each other at the beginning, how could we like each other.” “W-Well, shouldn’t we be friends first...or...know each other a lot or...something…” Doomie rubbed his neck, feeling like a jerk at this point. Pinkie put a hoof on his chin. “Listen...Doomie, I know this is fast, but I really like you...and-” “But this is too fast.” Doomie brushed her hoof away. “Shouldn’t we take it slow, or get to know each other...or-” “What’d you think we were doing twenty pages ago, Doomie?” Doomie scratched his head. “Um...being in a dumpster?” “And what were we doing?” Pinkie leaned her body against his, making his wings slowly rise in the air. “Um...we were...being...dirty?” Doomie tried his hardest not to laugh. Pinkie rolled her eyes. “You just couldn’t resist that joke…” Doomie started snickering. “Heh...Yeah…” “But what else were we doing?” “Um…” Doomie started staring off. “thinkunsexythoughts. thinkunsexythoughts. thinkunsexythoughts…” Doomie shook his head. “Uh...doing the do?” Doomie smiled. “You idiot!!” Pinkie giggled. “No, silly. We didn’t even do that.” “We didn’t?” Pinkie laughed again. “Doomie, do you even know what sex is?” Doomie crossed his arms. “Of course I do! It’s when you hug a prey, which then leads to you sinking your fangs into its neck, putting it to sleep. Then, once the prey is in a cocoon, you inject the eggs into the...the...no, wait...that’s for the female drones.” Doomie tapped his chin while Pinkie dropped her jaw. “What was the males again?” “I-Inject eggs?” Pinkie shivered. “Hmm? Oh! Yeah! My sisters do that with stallions when we’re running low on drones. Don’t worry, the stallions make it...sometimes…” Pinkie grabbed Doomie and shook him. “W-what about mares!?” “Um...if I remember it right; sex is just code word for feeding, ya know, when the tongue enters the mouth and the food just comes climbing in.” Doomie smacked his lips. “So tasty…” “That explains the tongue...” Pinkie cocked her head. “So, y-you think sex is just eating love?” Doomie shrugged. “That’s pretty much all I could learn in that class.” “But you said you flunked it...twice!” “I did.” Doomie said blankly. Pinkie stepped back, realizing Doomie didn’t know anything about this. “Um...Okay...well, h-how about I tell you later.” “Tell ‘what’ later?” Pinkie looked away and scrunched her face, knowing that sex was pretty awkward to talk about. “Why don’t I just...tell you what we were talking about in the dumpster.” “Oh yeah. We were talking about what we do, how I just fly around in a cave all day, and check on hatchlings, guard the entrance, care for the queen...” “But what did I say about me?” Pinkie asked. “Um...First you talked about how you have this one creature...Goomy, right?” Pinkie giggled. “It’s Gummy. He’s my pet alligator.” “Aren’t those pretty dangerous to have around you? They have some pretty sharp teeth.” “He’s toothless, so I don’t really think he’s gonna hurt anyone when it comes to biting.” “I guess that makes sense, but what do you mean by ‘pet’?” “It means he’s my pet.” “Um...what’s that mean?” “It means he’s...um...what word would Twilight use...Oh. He’s domestic.” Doomie tilted his head. “What?”  Pinkie rolled her eyes. “It means that he’s a friend, but as a pet.” “But what’s a pet!?” Doomie asked again. Pinkie knew this would take forever, so she moved on. “I’ll tell you later. How about you tell me what I do.” Doomie scratched his head. “You were talking about how you worked in a...bakery?” Doomie waited until she nodded. “And that you...cooked food, right?” Pinkie laughed. “We bake things in the bakery.” “Isn’t that the same thing?” “Probably, but what else do I do?” “You...perform parties?” “Throw parties.” Pinkie corrected. “How can you ‘throw’ a party? No offence, but I don’t think ponies are that strong.” Pinkie laughed. “Throwing a party is just another way of saying that you’re having one, silly.” “Oooh...So, you do that and bake, right?” Pinkie tapped her chin. “I do other stuff. I hang out with my friends almost all the time.” “But don’t your arms get tired?” “Doomie, it’s another expression.” “So, you...walk and talk with them...or...something?” Pinkie was beginning to think he was pretending not to know what she was talking about. “Doomie, do you know anything about what ponies do?” “Um...I only got a D- when I took tests about pony society...but I did do pretty good learning about griffins.” “How good?” “I got a D+” Doomie held his head proudly. Pinkie was starting to understand what Doomie was talking about when they were taking this ‘too fast’. To her, it seemed that Doomie didn’t really know much when it came to how ponies act. “Doomie, you’re right...maybe we are taking this too fast…” “So...s-should we slow it down...or go back...or just...start over?” Doomie flopped his ear stems, thinking that this whole thing would lead to a giant mess in the end. Pinkie smiled. “Listen, Doomie, you love me, right?” Doomie held his head high. “You’re the first mare I’ve ever met that hasn’t called me monster or run away...to me, that’s the kindest thing that’s ever happened.” “That’s what you think is kind? Just...not running away from you?” Doomie shrugged. “Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Why do you ask? Do you ponies think there’s other things that we need to do?” Pinkie shook her head. “Kindness isn’t my element, but I think there’s more to it than just not running away from someone.” “Really?” Doomie cocked his head. “What else do we need? And what do you mean by ‘element’?” Pinkie pointed to the castle. “Remember when you and your other brothers and sisters were guarding the Elements of Harmony.” “You mean those five necklaces and a crown thingy?” Pinkie chuckled. “Yes, those things…” “I remember guarding them. To tell you the truth. We were trying to turn them on before you guys came along, but we really couldn't figure them out.” “Turn them on?” Doomie nodded. “We thought for sure they had some power behind them, I mean, why else would you ponies come for them?” “To defeat your queen, silly.” Pinkie then realized what she said and frowned. “Oh...uh...sorry to remind you about that.” Doomie waved a hoof nonchalantly. “Eh, it’s okay. You said it yourself, our queen is a bit of a jerk. Well, in this world, she is.” Pinkie scuffed the ground. “So, you’re okay about...well, your entire race being flung across Equestria?” Doomie thought about that for a few seconds before coming to an intelligent conclusion. “Yup, I’m okay. You guys didn’t really have any other choice, did you?” Pinkie shrugged. “It was either that or be controlled by changelings for the rest of our lives.” Doomie smiled. “What’s wrong with that? You’d still be with me, wouldn’t you?” “Yeah, but I’d rather not be in a dungeon or wrapped in a cocoon.” “But cocoons are really nice to sleep in.” Pinkie started smiling. “But I sleep in a bed, silly.” “I’m pretty sure the queen would make you ponies stay in a cocoon.” “Could I’ve slept in your cocoon?” Doomie blushed. “I dunno, I’d be pretty cramped to sleep in it.” “I wouldn’t mind.” Pinkie leaned in. “As long as I’m with you.” Doomie chuckled. “Well, cocoons are pretty strong too, takes a while for them to fall down when they start rocking.” Pinkie nudged him. “Do-Mie!” She laughed. “What? I wasn’t thinking anything.” He brought her in for a hug and started laughing too. They had a good laugh, but like all of them, they died down after a while. Pinkie looked up at him. “Doomie, I know I’ve only met you for a day, but I know this could be the start of something great, and you’re right. We need to take this way slower than it’s been going.” “How slow?” Pinkie tapped her chin. “Well, how about show each other what we’re good at.” “W-What?” Doomie started shaking. “B-But I’m not good at anything.” “Aw, come on, Doomie. There’s gotta be something you’re good at.” “But I don’t have those flank marks you ponies have. How can I be good at anything?” Pinkie laughed. “You don’t need ‘flank marks’ just to be good at something. Come on, there’s gotta be something you’re good at.” Doomie bit his lip, knowing he did have one thing. “Well, I might know…something...b-but it’s really stupid.” “OH! OH! You need to show me what it is, come on!” Pinkie backed up and started wagging her tail Doomie turned away. “You’d just hate it, some of my brothers didn't like it, even those weird twins with the wubeyetis eyes hated it.” “Come on! Can’t you just show it too me, please?” “Pinkie, I don’t-” “Pleeeeeeeeease?” Doomie sighed, knowing once he did this, she would probably think he was the biggest dork she’s ever seen. “Alright...” Pinkie bounced up and down. “YAY! What is it?” Doomie cleared his throat. “Um...would you happen to have a microphone on you?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “DADDY DIDN’T LOVE MEHEHEEEHEEEHEEE!...WAAAAAHAHAAAAH…” Dash continued sobbing on Fluttershy’s shoulder, leaving the yellow pegasus to question her friend’s sanity. “Um...Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy tried shoving her off, but Dash was practically glued to her. “I-I think you had too much punch…” Dash sniffed in some snot and continued crying. “I-I neheheeever even got to say what I really…*sniff*...really felt lieeeeek...WAAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!” “Um...to your dad?” Rainbow Dash started breathing in and out as fast as possible. “N-no, I-I was trying to tell...tell Pinkie...t-then AJ...t-then Twilight...t-then Rare...a-and now there’s nohohopony leahhahaaaft!” Fluttershy felt more confused by the second. “Um...Dash, I-I really think that you should...lay off the drinks...and can you please let go of me?” She strained to get out of the hug again, only for Rainbow Dash to wrap her wings around her. “A-Am I really not that...t-thaahahat pretty?” Dash asked. Fluttershy’s wings slowly went up from that question. “I...w-well, you’re...uh...good looking...and...uh, other...things…” “W-whaahat other t-t-t-things?” Dash looked up at her; eyes completely filled with tears. Fluttershy cringed “Um...Y-You have a great...personality?” “W-what else?” “Um...You have...great...flying skills?” Rainbow Dash wiggled her mouth. “I-Is that it?” “I-I’m sure you can do other things too, c-can you just...drop the wine glass and-” “NO!” Dash yelled, drinking the rest of the punch before throwing the glass on the ground. “L-Look, Dash, it’s okay...o-okay? If there’s something wrong, I’m here for you.” Fluttershy smiled. Rainbow Dash hiccuped again and hugged her even tighter. “T-Thanks, Shy...y-you’re a good friend…” “F-Friend?” Dash finally shoved her away. “N-Now, if you’ll excuse me, I-I’m gonna continue drinking my sorrows away.” Dash made her way to the punch again, stumbling into multiple ponies and then crashing right into the punch bowl, spilling the drink everywhere. Fluttershy only sighed and walked away. “S-She’s just drunk...I-I’m sure she’ll...yeah…” “Hey Fluttershy!” The yellow pegasus yelped and immediately fell to the floor. She turned around to see Pinkie right above her. “P-Pinkie?” Pinkie smiled. “You seen Twilight? I’m trying to find the mic I gave her.” “W-Why do you-” “Because my friend here wants to use it.” Pinkie pointed at a pony behind her, who was acting very nervous. Fluttershy slowly got up. “W-Well, I-I think I saw Twilight put it on the-” “OH WAIT! I see it!” Pinkie pointed at the turn table and started pronking her way toward it. “Thanks shy!” “But...but I-” “Not now! I need to see what he can do!” Pinkie pointed at the pony, who just groaned and made his way to the table. “W-what can he do?” Fluttershy asked, only for Pinkie and the pony to ignore her and bounce off. Fluttershy sighed. “O-Okay then…” “HEY! FLUFFERSHY!” Fluttershy yelped again and turned around to see Twilight with one of her ears flipped and her left eye slightly open. “T-Twilight?” "Shy,” Twilight wrapped an arm around her while the other one held her drink. “Did I ever tell you your eyes kinda look like mine...but kinda bluish…” “Um…” “Did you alshow know” Twilight continued. “That mares our agez experiment with our smexuality…” She chuckled and leaned closer. “Hey, what you doin’ tonight...” Fluttershy gulped. “Oh dear…”