Rainbow Dash No:1 Cook

by randomkid


Rainbow is the best cook!

Crushed. That is the exact word to explain Rainbow's current position. Her heart crushed, her friendship crushed, her dreams crushed. That was all she could think as she stood there as her best friend stole the man of her dreams. What else could it be? Soarin spends all his time with Applejack. How could AJ do this to her? AJ knew Dash had a crush on Soarin since forever!

Soarin was coming to visit Ponyville for a while because of a show nearby. Rainbow thought this would be the perfect chance to win her favorite Wonderbolt over. She would dazzle him with her amazing flying and everything would be awesome, but no. Soarin seemed to completely avoid her, and now this! Rainbow saw Soarin go to Applejack's barn almost every day.

Rainbow lied awake wishing this was all just a dream. Hoping her friend didn't just completely betray her, but no. She would never wake up, because this wasn't a dream.

Now she just wishes she could quit, toss in the towel. No. That's not Rainbow Dash's style. Rainbow doesn't give up, she finds a way though everything! There must be a way to win back Soarin! "What does he like most of all?" Rainbow said scratching her chin. "I've got it! Pie! I'll make a pie so good it'll make Applejack's taste like dirt! Shouldn't be too hard. After all I'm awesome at everything!"

Rainbow flew down the stairs to her kitchen to gather everything she thought she'd need. She then flipped on the TV to a late night cooking show. "Soarin won't know what hit him!" Rainbow said confidently to herself.

* * *

"Well I think it's done." Rainbow said looking at the lump of "food" in front of her. "Time for a taste test." Rainbow grabbed a fork out of her cupboard and stuck it into what was suppose to be blue-berry pancakes.

The only thing is that Rainbow didn't have all the ingredients for it so she just improvised. As soon as the lumpy "pancakes" touched her tongue she was amazed. "Wow that's much better than usual!" She cheered.

Little did she know that it was horrible. Rainbow was just so used to her own bad cooking that she didn't know how bad they really were.

"Now that I've tasted it I should take it to Soarin." Rainbow slid the "pancakes" into a zip-lock bag and flew out of her house to realize, it was still night time. "Oh yeah." She said closing her door back up. "Well I can give it to him in the morning."

When she got back in her house she finally noticed the gigantic mess in her house. It looked like a batter hurricane blew through Rainbow's house. "Oh yeah. That too." Rainbow put the "pancakes" in the fridge and grabbed her mop. "Tomorrow Soarin you will be mine." She said cleaning up the mess of her cooking.

* * *

Soarin yawned as he started to sit up from his bed. It was a usual morning, Wake up, fix hair, shower, think of Rainbow. This had become his morning routine for a while now. Soarin couldn't even remember when this started. Maybe it was when that awesome winged girl saved him at the best young fliers competition, maybe it was when she saved him pie or even when she saved him again at Rainbow Falls. Soarin never knew for sure but he knew he was obsessed with that girl. She was always on his mind when he wasn't training or performing.

Now usually he would have already asked her to lunch or for coffee but Rainbow wasn't different. Whenever he was around her he could never seem to open his mouth. Soarin had never felt this way about anybody else, it was a new feeling of being hopelessly in love. He hated it! Whenever he was near her he lost his voice, and this was amplified by the fact that he was already a pretty shy person.

He was sent to perform in Ponyville and decided to come early. He wanted as much time as he could get to talk to Rainbow but just couldn't do it. He was completely tongue tied. He needed help, so he met up with a farmer named Applejack who turned out to be one of Rainbow's best friends. He asked if she could help him with Rainbow and she was oddly open to the idea. Soarin had been doing this for about five days now and has been feeling a lot more confident. Before Soarin would just try to avoid Rainbow at all costs, mainly because he didn't want to look stupid in front of her, but now he was going to try to talk to her today. He just didn't know how he'd go about it until there was a knock at the hotel door.

"I'm coming." Soarin called out walking over to the door. He opened it and lost his words.

"Hey Soarin. I've been seeing you around lately but I don't think we ever got to talk. So I decided I'd drop by and say hi." Rainbow said standing in the door way.

"Ha ha ha... yeah..." Soarin said awkwardly. "I don't think I even told you where I was staying."

"Oh silly Soarin, I've been stalking- I mean seeing you around here while I was clearing clouds." Rainbow said trying to play her mistake off like it was nothing. "But saying hi isn't the only reason I'm here. I made you something!" Rainbow grabbed the "Pancakes" out of the bag she brought with her.

"Since when did you start cooking?" Soarin asked trying not to run away from the monstrous blob of "Food" Rainbow made.

"Just started but I'm already a master! Here try some!" Rainbow took a peice of "Pancake" and offered it to Soarin.

Against his better judgement, Soarin took the fork and stuck it in his mouth, instantly regretting that. Soarin tried hard to ignore his gag reflex while putting on a fake smile. "mmm... It's great... you made this all by yourself... that's impossible..." Soarin said slowly continuing his battle with that persistant gag.

"You like it?!" Rainbow asked grabbing Soarin by his shirt.

"Yeah... I *gulp* like it very much..." He replied suspicously.

Rainbow, however, didn't notice this. She was to focused on how she succeeded. "YES!" She screamed flying into the air. Before he could even respond Rainbow left the rest of the "Pancakes" on the step and flew off.

"Thank Celestia!" Soarin shouted before runnning to wash Rainbow's "cooking" out of his mouth. He spit it out into the sink and washed his tounge with all his might. "I'm so sorry I did that to you tummy. That girl can't cook for the life of her. I'll repay you with some Apple Pie from Applejack's." His stomach growled in approval. "Good!"

* * *

Rainbow flew off as fast as she could. "Yes! He liked it! Now time for the pie! That boy is mine!" She said flying to the store.

Rainbow landed in front off the big store and walked inside. The familiar smell of chemicals used to clean the floor hit her nose. "Ahh. It's been a while since I've been here." She said looking around. Lately Rainbow didn't need to really come here. She would usually just order out or eat with her friends. The strange thing was that whenever she offered to cook for her friends they would get all scared and seem like they were going to panic.

"Okay so last time I was here with AJ, what did we get?" Rainbow asked herself. She wracked her brain trying to remember the time she and AJ went to buy supplies for Apple Pie. "Arrg. I can't remember. Oh! I'll call Pinkie!"

Rainbow grabbed her phone out of her pocket and called Pinkie. "Hey Dashie. What's happening?" Pinkie answered exitedly.

"Hey Pinkie. I was wondering, what does AJ usually get when she's baking apple pie?" Rainbow asked.

"OOOO. What's the occassion?"

"I'm learing to bake."

Pinkie burst out laughing. "Good one Dashie. What's it really for?"

"I'm serious..."

"Really? No offense Dash but I'm pretty sure every time you cook, an angel dies."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I made Soarin some pancakes and he loved them!" Rainbow blurted out.

"Oh Soarin huh? I see how it is. Trying to measure his wingspan huh?" Pinkie said in a sly voice.

"Ugh. Never mind Pinkie I'll do it myself." Rainbow said frustrated. She hung up the phone without another word. "Leave it to Pinkie to sexualize everything."

Before she could even start walking she got a text, from Pinkie. "When you're done, tell me who was faster." The text said with a winking emoticon.

"Bite me Pinkie." Rainbow texted back.

"I'll leave that to Soarin"

Rainbow growled and shut off her phone before she got even more off track.

"Okay! Where was I? Right, pie!" Rainbow said heading deeper into the store.

As she was flying down the many aisles of the store she ran into the last person she wanted to run into, Applejack.

"Hey sugercube!" AJ called out. "Ah haven't seen ya'll around lately. Have yah been taken extra naps again?"

"No and you know exactly why." Rainbow told her.

"Ah know what? What's wrong?"

"You know exactly what's wrong." Rainbow said raising her voice.

"Um no Ah don't. That's why Ah asked ya'll."

"Don't act dumb! You've been stealing Soarin away from me!" Rainbow shouted. "The whole time Soarin has been here he has been avoiding me and seeing you!"

"Now what in tarnation are ya talkin' about?" AJ asked confused and a bit angry.

"But I've got a news flash! It won't work! I'm gonna make my own apple pie and it'll be so good it'll make your's taste like dirt!" Rainbow shouted and flew off.

"What the hay was that all about?" AJ asked herself.

Suddenly Rainbow flew back to AJ, arms crossed, with an annoyed look. "AJ what do you usually use for apple pie?"

* * *

Soarin flew down to Applejack's farm after promptly throwing away those things Rainbow called pancakes. "Don't worry stomach, we're almost there." He said as his stomach growled happily.

Soarin landed in front of the red farm and called out Applejack's name.

"Ah'm here just wait a second." She called from behind him.

Soarin looked back to see her carrying some large bags and walked over to help. "What happened? You look kind of weird today?" Soarin asked her.

"Ah'm sorry Sugarcube, it's just Rainbow. She was actin' all weird at the store today." AJ told him.

"You too? She was acting all strange this morning as well."

"Yeah. She said Ah was stealin' yah away from her. She told me she's gonna win yah over with her 'amazing' baking skills." AJ said bending her fingers on the amazing part.

"Stealing me? Winning me over?" Soarin asked in confusion and slightly blushing.

"Yeah. Ah told ya, that girl is crazy for ya."

Soarin's blush grew deeper. "I didn't know she cared so much..." Soarin said to himself. "Wait that explains why she got me breakfast this morning."

"Rainbow brought ya breakfast?"

"Well actually she made it herself."

"Wait, you had some of Rainbow's cooking and didn't lose yer lunch. Shoot Soarin. Yer tougher than Ah thought." AJ said jokingly. "Why, not even Pinkie can do that."

"Yeah," Soarin laughed. "It was just about the worst thing I've ever tasted."

The two shared a laugh and set down the bags.

"So, let me guess. Yer here for some off mah pie?" AJ asked. Soarin nodded happily. "Well got wait in the house and Ah'll go make one up."

Soarin did as told and for his obedience he was rewarded with his favorite thing in the world, Pie. When he saw AJ walk in with the pie in her hands he knew instantly that it was worth the half hour wait. Just looking at it made Soarin's mouth water.

"Here ya'll go." AJ said setting the pie on the table.

Before Soarin could even stick his fork in the fresh pie, it was snatched from the table by a familiar rainbow haired woman. Soarin's fork grabbed nothing and when the utensil reached his mouth, all Soarin tasted was air. Soarin looked down to where the pie was to see that the area was suprisingly empty.

"What the hay do ya think yer doin'?!" Applejack screamed at the fleeing Rainbow Dash.

"I'm winning back my man!" Rainbow called back before dissapearing into the distance.

"She just stole my pie..." Soarin said, still looking down in disbelief.

* * *

"Well Ah'm sorry it took so long. It would have been much faster in Rainbow hadn't stolen the first pie." Applejack said agrivated. "Ah swear the girl has lost her mind."

"Naw it's not your fault. Besides it's kind of cool knowing she'll go this far for me." Soarin turned face a field not to far from where he was. "Well I've got to go training now. If Spitfire knew I was still messing around by this time, it wouldn't be pretty."

"Ok well, you come back now ya hear?" AJ said waving.

"I will!" Soarin said just before taking off for the field he found earlier. "Okay, time to train."

Soarin tried his hardest to stay focused on his routine but his mind kept slipping back to Rainbow. His mind would remind him off the hair he loved so much, the personality that just seemed to fire him up whenever he was around her, even the way she walked.

"Focus Soarin!" He said to himself. "This trip is not to think about Rainbow, mostly. This trip was so I could get here early for the show and I've barely practised the whole 5 days I've been here!"

Soarin doubled his efforts to keep the Rainbow woman out but to no avail. His mind started asking him questions. 'Do you have the courage to ask her out?' 'Now that you know she likes you back what will you do?' 'Do you have what it takes to keep up with such an awesome person like Rainbow Dash?' 'What is that screaming not too far away?' All these questions ran through his head.

Soarin waved his hands in the air trying to shoo way the questions. "Damn it Rainbow get out of my head!" Soarin shouted to his mind. "Wait what was that last one?" He suddenly asked.

He remembered the question. 'What is that screaming not too far away?' He suddenly noticed the audible screaming. Two voices, Rainbow's and someone else's.

"Oh no! I'm comin' for ya Dash, hold on!" Soarin screamed taking off in the direction of the screams.

The screams were coming from Rainbow's house and Soarin quickly landed on the front porch and opened the door. When he did so he saw the inside was a complete mess with pie filling everywhere and Rainbow standing at a stove with a pie on the stove. When Rainbow saw Soarin enter so quickly it caused her to scream, and that caused the pie to scream, which in turn caused Soarin to scream.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Soarin screamed.

"I DON'T KNOW! I WAS JUST BAKING AND THEN THE PIE STARTED SCREAMING!" Rainbow yelled back.

"Kill me!" The pie screamed.

Rainbow screamed and started smashing the pie with a nearby frying pan.

"Hurry up and kill me!" The pie wailed.

"I CAN'T!" Rainbow screamed back as the frying pan only managed to get the pie everywhere.

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" Soarin screamed.

"I TOLD YOU! I WAS BAKING THIS PIE WHEN IT JUST STARTED SCREAMING!" Rainbow shouted.

"PIES DON'T COME TO LIFE!" Soarin yelled back.

"Kill me!" The pie echoed.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?! JUST HELP ME KILL IT!" Rainbow ordered.

Soarin looked around franticly and saw the chimney was lit. "THROW IT IN THE FIRE!" He yelled.

Rainbow quickly grabbed the pie tin and cast it to the flames. It caught blaze in seconds burned out to nothing even faster. When it did a cloud of smoke with a face rose out from where the pie was and dissapeared.

The two sat down and sighed knowing it was over.

"Well that sure was fun." Soarin said after he finally caught his breath. Soarin turned to Rainbow to see her with her head in her knees. "Rainbow, are you okay?"

"Don't act like you care!" Rainbow said facing him and revealing the tears in her eyes. "You don't care about me! You only care about Applejack! All you've ever done in your time here is ignore me!"

"Rainbow I-"

"Just go. Go back to Applejack and let me rot here." Rainbow interupted.

"I'm not going anywhere." Soarin said pulling Rainbows head up to look at him.

Rainbow shooed his hand away and looked back down. "Why? You want to stay here and mock me? Mock the girl that failed to win you over?!" She was now looking dead in his face with the angriest lokk Soarin has ever seen.

"No I-"

Rainbow interupted Soarin again. "What you want to rub in my face how much better of a cook AJ is than me?! Just cause I failed at making a stupid pie?!"

"No it's not that ei-"

"I did all this work! I made you pancakes! I went to the store to buy ingredients! I stole the pie to see how it's made!" Rainbow ranted completely ingoring anything Soarin said.

"Wait, you tried to reverse engineer a pie?!"

"I even stole that contained magic from Twilight's to try and make the pie taste better!"

"You stole contained magic?! Do you have any idea how dangerous that stuff is?! Contained magic can literally be anything!"

"Well I'm sorry I'm also dumb!" Rainbow replied finally hearing Soarin's words. "I just want you to know that I did all this for you!" She said gesturing to her pie filling stained house.

"Rainbow if you'd just listen to me for one-"

"No Soarin! I'm not listening to anything you! You broke my hear-" Rainbow was saying before Soarin took his turn to interupt. Soarin however did not do so with words. Rainbow was shocked as she suddenly found Soarin's lips on hers with his arms wrapped around her waist.

Rainbow's first thought was to fight back but just couldn't seem to do it. She found herself melting into the kiss instead as she kissed back.

When their lips separated Soarin didn't give her the chance to speak. "Listen Rainbow. You are a terrible cook, incredibly rash and a lot of the time you act before you think."

"Wow Soarin you're such a charmer." Rainbow said sarcastically.

"But," Soarin continued. "You're also funny, caring, loyal, confident and that's what's important. I've had a crush on you for a while now. It's just, I could never find a way to tell you. I'm an incredibly shy person, so how could I tell the most confident and awesome person ever how I felt. That's why I did what I did. I avoided you cause I didn't want to look dumb in front of you and the reason I spent so much time with Applejack was because she was helping me get over my shyness. AJ is the reason I can talk to you."

"Wow. That was incredibly, cheesy Soarin. But I guess that means you don't like AJ, right?"

"Of course I don't."

Rainbow was just about exploding with joy on the inside. 'Play it cool dash' Her mind told her.

"Well that's a relief." Rainbow said wiping her forehead. "Aw man, now I feel awful for yelling at Applejack." Rainbow sighed.

"Well we can stop by her place. Maybe get some pie?" Soarin asked.

"How can you still want to eat pie after that? I don't think I'm going to ever look at pie the same way again!" Rainbow said. She yawned. "I think I need a nap actually."

"Oh well, okay. You go do that. I'll clean up this." Soarin said gesturing to the kitchen.

"Aw. Not even dating yet and you're already offering to do stuff for me? You're going to be easy to train." Rainbow said mocking the poor boy.

"Wh-what?" Soarin asked blushing.

"I'm just kinding ya big wimp. But really thanks for doing this for me." Rainbow kissed Soarin on the cheek and started to walk upstairs.

"Wait Rainbow." Soarin called. "When you wake up, you wanna meet up and go see a movie or something?"

Rainbow looked down at the nervous Wonderbolt. She felt her heart flutter. "Sure Soarin. I'd love that." Rainbow said keeping her cool, mostly.

"Okay, I'll see ya then okay." Soarin said waving.

"Yeah you too." Rainbow replied, doing the same.

Soarin started to walk over to the stove but heard a muffled "YES!" from a certain rainbow haired somebody. Hearing this made him laugh slightly.

"Now, time for this." Soarin said to himself.

Soarin looked at the stove and saw the pie AJ made and slight peices of Rainbow's pie which got him curious. Soarin dipped his hand in some of the leftover pie filling on the wall and reluctantly tasted it. That didn't work out very well. He spit it back out immediately. "Nope still bad, but getting better."

"Getting better."