//------------------------------//
// In Need of a Locomotive 
// Story: Trust in a Wild Goose Chase 
// by Fairyhaven13 
//------------------------------//

	"The Sign of the Six: It's Element'ry!"

Both guests stared at the newspaper for a moment, somewhat slackjawed. Twilight simply hovered there with a triumphant expression on her muzzle, looking for all the world like she'd just answered one of Celestia's pop-quiz questions correctly and got a slice of cake for her efforts.

Applejack lifted her hat in order to scratch it with one hoof. "Hey, ain't that what the clue said-" Her observation was interrupted by a cream-coated blur dashing across the room.

"Gimme that!" Flim yelped, snatching the newspaper from a startled Twilight's grasp. Rather than go back to his plaid couch, he simply plopped down on the loveseat the alicorn was hovering over and rapidly scanned the article. The purple mare blinked for a moment, one ear going lopsided as she tried to figure out how to respond to that. She glanced at the now-empty sofa, then down at the loveseat below. With a slightly disgruntled frown, she hesitantly lowered herself back into her seat, scooting about six inches away from Flim. The stallion didn't notice, his eyes quickly growing larger as he read.

The farmer mare, meanwhile, huffed and shook her head. "Flim!" Applejack snapped. "You coulda at least asked afore you snatched it!" 

"Shh!" Flim hissed, eyes still on the paper. Applejack shook her head, and Twilight joined in the motion. It was rather surreal for the orange mare to be the one giving the manner-lessons to the more genteel colt, considering how eloquent Flim usually was along with the fact that normally Applejack forgot the word "please" even existed in the Equestrian dictionary. It was one of the many subjects that sparked her arguments with Rarity. 

Then again... Twilight squinted at the conpony next to her. His eyes were red-rimmed and growing more bloodshot by the second, and small dark bags were just beginning to appear on the lids. Her frown deepened, and she turned to Applejack. Has he slept? she mouthed, angling her head towards Flim. Applejack shrugged and shook her head again, this time in bewilderment. Twilight's frown now grew concerned. If she understood Flim's story correctly, he hadn't slept since last night's incident. 

There was also the fact that she didn't know whether last night was an early wake-up-call for the FlimFlam brothers, or just a late night. The chances were good that Flim hadn't simply gone without sleep for a night and a morning now, but a night and a morning plus the whole day before. It was no wonder he was testier than usual, and less eloquent, and prone to breaking down like a few minutes ago. Twilight almost felt sorry for him. Scratch that. She did feel sorry for him, greedy antagonist or not. The mare turned around in her seat to look at the doorway. Just as she'd thought, there were still two little green eyes poking around the corner, looking almost as concerned as Twilight did by this point. 

Twilight again angled her head towards Flim, then nodded at Spike. The little dragon nodded back and dashed off. It would mean their refill on tea would be postponed, but hopefully it would be worth it. Maybe Spike could also skip the punishment he had been going to get for eavesdropping, too.

"This... this is brilliant!" Flim suddenly gasped, using his magic to hold the newspaper at hoof's length.

Twilight shifted her attention back to the newspaper, and couldn't help but grin. "Isn't it, though?" Flim glanced at her, giving her a strange look and opening his mouth, but he closed it again when Applejack spoke. He also scooted away another inch, but Twilight didn't notice.

"What in tarnation is so brilliant?" The bewildered look on Applejack's face hadn't left yet, and in fact, just intensified at Flim's announcement. "Is it another one of them phooka tricks?"

Instead of letting the conpony explain, the alicorn excitedly cut in herself. "It's a convention that's going to be held in Canterlot this weekend!" Her wings fluttered in bookish glee as she continued. "You see, they have a Fetlock Holmes section at the Classical Books Con held there every year, and this year, they're showcasing a special edition of a Fetlock Holmes book never before seen! You know the Fetlock book, The Sign of the Six?" Flim nodded impatiently and almost nostalgically, but Twilight went on before Applejack could say that no, no she did not. "Well, somepony went to the Canterlot Foundation for Classical Literature two weeks ago and turned in their edition of The Sign of the Six for display. Unlike the rest of the editions of this book, that pony's edition not only had a unique cover made especially for him by one of Agister Canner Doyle's family associates, but also had a typo inside that none of the other books did! Instead of saying, 'Elementary, my dear Trotson,' like normal Fetlock books do, it said 'Element'ry,' with an apostraphe! There's a whole debate going on as to whether this was done on purpose to relate to the fact that Fetlock's treasure he found in the book is one of the Elements of Harmony, or whether this was an accident because none of the other books have it. Oh, it's so exciting!" 

Twilight actually hopped in her seat, her still-fluttering wings causing her to hover for a few seconds before coming back down. Flim tilted his head, something between an amused smirk and an embarrassed wince on his face due to her antics. Applejack just gave another of her patented long-suffering eye-rolls. The princess saw this and blushed, sheepishly collecting herself before finishing. "Er, I've got tickets for me and Spike to take the Friday train tomorrow, if you'd like to go with us. It'd be easy enough to get you passes for the con. I've been going every year since I was a filly, so I'm sure Princess Celestia would be fine with me taking a friend or, uh..." she glanced at Flim, who was truly smirking now. "Or two." 

Applejack opened her mouth to agree, but Flim chose this moment to interrupt her this time. It was only fair. He hopped down from the loveseat and smoothly folded the newspaper, placing it in his vest. Then he took the scroll from where it had been laying between him and Twilight, and did the same. He did his best to hide the fact that a few minutes ago he'd been anything but composed and calm, and replied, "As much as I appreciate the offer, your highness, I'm afraid I don't like the idea of waiting any longer than I have to for Flam to be safe. I'll head to Canterlot now; I prefer to be there ahead of time in order to strategize our next step. Thank you for the assistance, and also for the tea- although you might want to put less sugar in it next time. Try honey. It's healthier. Come along, Applejack." 

He strolled to the exit, leaving Twilight still peering concernedly after him, and Applejack gawking absolutely flabbergasted. The farmpony jumped off her seat and ran after Flim, stopping him at the door. "Now hold on just a stinking minute!" Flim frowned impatiently at her and sighed. Someday he'd be able to make a dignified exit again, but apparently not with her around. "How in the hay are we supposed to get to Canterlot without using the train like a sane pony? You don't seriously expect us to walk up the mountain, do you? I mean, I'd be fine, I've walked farther to deliver apple pies, but there is no way you'd make it that far, especially with the state you're in! And I ain't carrying you the rest of the way when you collapse! Just accept Twilight's help, would ya?"

Flim sniffed resentfully. "Miss Apple, I think you'll find that I am a bit sturdier than you give me credit for, and, aside from that, no, walking up the mountain was not my plan. Because I most certainly do have a plan. Because I have half a brain in my head, unlike some ponies I know." Applejack grit her teeth, irked that Flim's politeness only extended to princesses, apparently. The conpony smirked at seeing her reaction. "Also, I believe I said I wanted to get there ahead of time. Walking there would mean arriving at the same time as the train tomorrow, if it's the express train, and only a few hours ahead of time, if it's the all-day train. Which would be utterly pointless. So perhaps you should put just a tad more trust in what I say." With another nod to Twilight, he stepped around Applejack and left the room.

The mare stood there a moment, growling and muttering under her breath. "Trust him? Trust him, he says, that greedy, no-good, son of a haymaker..." Sensing somepony watching her, Applejack looked up and met Twilight's moderately surprised eyes. "Uh, haybailer. I meant haybailer."

Twilight ruffled her feathers and shook her head, pushing aside her friend's strangely violent references for now. "Look, Applejack, maybe you shouldn't let him goad you on like that."

Applejack snorted and tossed her head, her main flapping around to the other side of her neck. "You think I ain't tried? He don't listen, Twi. I tell him to stop, and he just does it more, and then I get angrier, and-"

Twilight held up a hoof to stop her before the rant could begin again. "No, Applejack, I don't mean replying to him and trying to make him stop. Does that ever work with Rainbow Dash?"

Applejack hesitated. "Well... no... honestly, it just makes it worse."

The alicorn nodded. "So maybe you should try ignoring what he says. Change the subject or something. You saw the way he was smirking at you, right? He's testy, and worried for his brother, and he's taking it out on you and trying to get a reaction. So don't give him one."

The orange mare scuffed the floor with one hoof, biting her lip. "I guess I'll try that... can't promise nothin', though. Since when did you get all smart about this emotional stuff?"

Twilight grinned proudly. "I may or may not have been studying some psychology books for fun as last month's project." Applejack rolled her eyes again. Of course.

From out in the hall came Flim's shout. "Hello? Remember what I said about coming along? You must need more context with that, because I meant come along now."

Applejack glared at the doorway and opened her mouth to retort, then glanced in Twilight's direction and, with some effort, slowly closed it. Twilight nodded, satisfied. "Also, try to convince him to sleep sometimes soon. On the way or something. I know what it's like to go for days on end without sleep because you're worried about something." Or studying, she thought, but didn't say as much. "It's no fun. His manic mood swings are disquieting, and they'll only get worse the more tired he gets."

The farmpony sighed and began to follow Flim's footsteps out the door. "Don't I know it. Like I said, he don't listen to me, though. I'll try. Can't promise nothin'."

"That's all I ask," Twilight responded, waving to Applejack as she left. Good luck to the both of them. They would need it.

Applejack caught up with Flim in the hall, where he was tapping one hoof impatiently. He met her eyes briefly before moving to the staircase. "About time. I thought perhaps you'd gotten lost on the way."

The mare trotted up beside him, leveling a glare. "It's a hallway, Flim."

"I know," he replied smugly with that irritating smirk of his. Applejack growled and bit her lip to keep from replying. She'd already been holding back somewhat with him, but it would be much harder to treat his jabs like she did Rainbow's. Rainbow only meant it in teasing. Sometimes rough teasing that went too far, but nothing personal. Flim was being very personal, and it was infuriating.

Spike met them at the bottom of the staircase, a parcel wrapped in a napkin in his hands. He nervously averted his eyes from Flim, met Applejack's eyes and made to speak, then looked back at Flim, apparently deciding that speaking directly to the guy would be better. "Thisisforyou." He shoved the parcel towards Flim, who grabbed it with his magic and looked at it curiously.

"What is it?" Flim asked. He unfolded one corner of the napkin and found some tea bags sticking out. 

"It's one of Twilight's travel-packs," Spike explained, his tail swinging anxiously. He started counting on his claws as he spoke.  "It's got chamomile, good for sleeping, and chi, good for some extra energy, and peppermint, good for digestion after meals, and echinacea, good for when you're feeling sick, and a couple of lemon-ginger, good for when you've got, like, a small infection or something. I've got lots of them for Twi to take everywhere, because she normally forgets anything she might need to take with her except for her books and her notepad." Flim blinked at him in surprise while the little dragon rubbed one arm awkwardly. "Uh, Twilight and I think it might be useful for... you know, the trip, and finding your brother and all. I know I'd be freaking out, too, if Twilight got kidnapped. Tea helps us focus when stuff gets tough, so, uh... drink it up." Spike waited expectantly, once again averting his gaze to the floor.

Flim looked at the teabags in the napkin, blinking some more. After a minute he shook off his surprise and folded the napkin back up, this time placing it under his hat, since there wasn't room for a bulging parcel in his vest. "You have my thanks... I suppose you'll be wanting something in return, then?" Applejack raised an eyebrow and scoffed. Didn't this colt even know how to thank properly?

Spike, who had relaxed minutely after hearing the thank-you, looked back up in confusion. "In return? Uh... aside from the thanks, I'm good. It just looked like you needed it, that's all." He could ask for that new Power Ponies comic that was out now, one of the non-enchanted ones that he'd been wanting for a while.... but it didn't feel right to ask for a favor from a guy who was busy being worried about family. Even if it was in return for something else.

Flim's cool expression turned right back into blinking in surprise. He tilted his head. Finally, deciding Spike was serious, he simply nodded and continued out the door.

Applejack watched him go, frustration evident on her face. "Ugh. The varmint doesn't even know how to be grateful. Can you believe that."

Spike shrugged. "Well, yeah. He's new at this not-being-the-bad-guy stuff. And he's better at it than Discord, anyways." Applejack looked at him, her frustration turning thoughtful, before murmuring a goodbye and once again trotting to catch up with Flim. Spike watched them go, waving and unknowingly mirroring his guardian's dubious good-luck wishes.





Once again the two ponies reversed rolls in who was irritating whom, this time with Flim leading the way and Applejack constantly putting in her two cents.

Wearily, Flim trudged along the path out of Ponyville that lead to the main road. His cool canter that he'd maintained through town had long slowed to a trot and was quickly making its way to becoming a dreary walk. If he could only get there before his legs gave out entirely. It was all he could do to keep his energy directed towards walking and making quips back at Applejack whenever she spoke. He knew that simply staying silent would use less energy, but something inside him couldn't help but keep trying to egg the mare on.

"Would ya mind telling me exactly what this fantastic plan of yours is?"

"Well, I would, but it might just be easier to show you, my dear. I don't want to make things too complicated for you, now."

He heard an exasperated groan behind him, but he was too tired to smirk at it. It was like he could barely control what was coming out of his mouth anymore. It took so much work to rectify himself in front of Twilight earlier, and he couldn't handle holding himself back anymore. Anything and everything Applejack said annoyed him somehow, and required the appropriate drollery in response. It occurred to him somewhere in the back of his mind that perhaps he needed to sit and take a breather for a moment, but there was no time. How could he rest when Flam was in danger every minute? It wasn't right.

There was the main road entrance, just southwest of the Saddle L. train tunnel that ran beneath Canterlot's mountain. The spot on the road where... where it happened last night should be about a mile outside of Ponyville, so he was almost there. Flim vaguely heard Applejack say something else behind him, and vaguely heard himself give a witty and admittedly rude reply right back, but his focus was on the road. Where was it? It should have been parked just in front of him, he should see it by now. Did he miss it? No, he couldn't have, he only just got to the main road. Where was it? Where was it where was it wherewasitwherewasit?

Applejack was unable to see the slowly growing panic on Flim's face, seeing as she was walking behind him, so when he stopped at the entrance to the main road, she decided that meant something important should be here and she should look around. Despite the fact that she'd been asking what the plan was over and over for the last half hour or so, Applejack already had a good idea of what the plan was. She merely thought Flim should get a taste of his own naggy medicine. Ignoring his jibes was one thing, but keeping from making jibes of her own was another entirely.

Flim was facing the direction of the road that lead to Canterlot, hastily turning his head left and right as he looked it over. Applejack could clearly see that there was nothing on the road there. Rolling her eyes at Flim's stubbornness- and he had to be stubborn if he was just going to stare at the one part of the road and expect something to happen (that or really plumb tired (maybe both))- the mare turned to look at the other side of the road, which ran to the Whitetail Woods and to Trottingham north of Los Pegasus. She walked down the road for a couple of feet, scanning up and down, until she found what she was looking for. With a little smug, aha! ringing in her head, she turned back to Flim and pointed a hoof. "There it is."

The stallion spun around, looking dazed and rather glassy-eyed. "Wha?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow at him. Celestia, he really did need to sleep. "The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy. That's what we're looking for, right? You said that you and Flam were riding it down this road last night. Or are we just leaving it here and looking for interestin' gravel?" Flim continued to give her that dazedly surprised expression, looking far too tired to shake himself out of it this time. For a few minutes, Applejack enjoyed the feeling of standing there, her face saying, I ain't as dumb as you think I am. When Flim remained motionless, however, she realized she would have to take the matter into her own hooves.

With a sigh, Applejack approached Flim and did what she always did when Apple Bloom was too tired to move after a sleepless night with the other Crusaders. Half-turning around, Applejack gently slapped her tail against the base of his muzzle. She had to snicker when, just like her baby sister, Flim instinctively chomped down just beneath the hairtie, then looked dazedly at the ponytail in his mouth as if wondering how it got there. Slowly, although not quite as carefully as she'd do for Apple Bloom, Applejack dragged the drained stallion over to the vehicle still sitting in the middle of the road. She stopped at the steps set in one side of the driver's portion of the wagon, then yanked her tail out of Flim's mouth. His neck jerked forward with the motion and he coughed, grimacing at the mare. "What on earth just-"

"Oh, get in the carriage!" Applejack stepped behind him and royally shoved him up the steps. 

"It's a locomotive!" Flim protested. Fortunately for Applejack, he didn't have the energy to protest any more than that, and the conpony all but collapsed on the couch set on the platform. The mare stepped over to the pedestal and scoured the controls on the front. Before she could just decide to hit the big red button in the middle- that was bound to turn it on, right?- Flim slid off the cushions, stomped over and (feebly) tried to push Applejack out of the way. "Let me drive, you have no idea what you're doing!"

Applejack rolled her eyes again and nudged him back in the direction of the couch. "Well, I would if you'd tell me how to drive! There is no way I'm letting you do it. I ain't gonna sit idly by on this doohickey while a colt so tired he's drunk gets us both killed!"

"Excuse me?" Flim reared his head, doubling his efforts to get past. "I am perfectly capable of driving this! Far more capable than you are. Just now? When you called it a doohickey? That proved your incapability. I am not letting you near those controls!" 

Why couldn't she see how important this was? Flim was close to fainting from exhaustion, but it didn't matter. He couldn't let her hurt his engine, he couldn't! He and Flam owned it together, it was their livelihood, their baby. If Flam found out Flim let it get hurt, he'd never forgive himself!

The mare easily pushed him back to the couch, pushing him down with her nose and giving him The Look. If he was going to act like a foal, he was going to get treated like one. Sometimes, when leading Apple Bloom back home, Applejack had to give her The Look to make her agree to go to bed instead of staying up to play with Winona or make more CMC plans. The more tired a pony was, the harder it was to make them see sense. The Look wasn't by any means like Fluttershy's Stare, and wasn't quite as effective. It was more maternal than scary, but just as likely to make you feel so disappointed in yourself that you deserved a good grounding as the Stare was to make a Crusader scared enough to stop breaking things. Flim outright flinched when Applejack pulled The Look on him.

"For Pete's sake, Flim, lookit yourself!" she snapped. "You can barely fight me pushing you with my muzzle! How in the hay are you going to focus enough to drive this thing? You're more liable to make it crash than I am! I know I seem like a know-nothin' bumpkin to you, but I can catch on pretty easily when I need to, so just tell me how to drive and I'll drive fine! You need to sleep!"

Flim grimaced and willed himself to have more energy. "How? How am I supposed to sleep when Flam's in trouble? Any minute I waste resting is another minute he's stuck with that phooka. I can't, I have to keep going, I have to..." his voice trailed off. Flim's brain was too incoherent to form a full sentence anymore.

Applejack looked him over and held back another sigh. She'd been sighing so much over the last day, but this wasn't one of irritation. In fact, she felt her irritation slipping away as she took in the pony-shaped pile of worry sitting on the couch. A snarky pain-in-the-tail he was, but also a scared colt very frightened for his brother, and that was something she could relate to. It was something she had to relate to, or Applejack didn't know how she was going to get through this with her mind intact.

Haltingly, with deliberately calm movements so Flim would know she didn't want to fight anymore, Applejack sat down next to the colt on the small couch. "Let me tell you a story, Flim."

Flim looked at her warily, seeming distinctly uncomfortable for some reason. "Okay?..."

"Once upon a time there was an apple farm. It was the beginning of fall, which meant that it was Applebuck season. You know what that is, Flim?"

The cream pony next to her snorted and seemed to gain some control of his voicebox. "Well of course I do. Have you never noticed my Cutie Mark? My family has some reach in the apple market, you know."

"Oh. Huh." Applejack glanced at his apple slice Cutie Mark. For some reason the thought of Flim's family actually having some experience with apples never occurred to her. Giving herself a small shake to get back on track, she continued. "Well, on this apple farm there was a brother and a sister. The brother was big and strong, but clumsier than a bird trying to walk in horseshoes, and he went and broke his leg. The sister usually worked with her brother to buck the apples, but seeing as her brother was hurt this year, and seeing as she was nearly as tough as he was, sister decided she'd just buck the entire orchard on her own that year."

Flim raised an eyebrow. "You were going to do the whole orchard on your own? You didn't even ask one of your many colorful friends for help like you did during the cider competition?"

Applejack glared. "Hey, this is a hypothetical story, ya hear?"

Flim huffed and grumbled a halfhearted, "Apologies, do carry on..." He didn't have the energy to carry on a full side of the conversation at the moment anyways.

"And, no, she didn't ask for her friends' help," Applejack replied. "Not that they never offered. They offered that whole week long, but the sister was too stubborn for her own good, and even though she wasn't getting a lick of sleep, and all her friends could see that she was tired, and her progress was getting slower and slower the less and less rest she got, she refused any help. The sister was certain that she would be able to prove to her brother just how tough she was, and make him proud of her. After all, Big- ah, the big brother was always the one taking care of the family at home, so it was her turn to take care of him. If she rested or got help from others, that meant she wasn't tough enough." The mare paused and fixed her gaze on Flim, who's ears were starting to flatten to the sides of his head. "You know what happened?"

"Uh..." Flim could see where this was going. And, while he would be irritated and somewhat insulted by Applejack's attempt at a lecture, something she said stopped him from being so. It was ridiculous for her to try and prove herself like that when she obviously couldn't do it on her own.... but wasn't he also trying to be strong for his own brother? For some reason, maybe it was just his bone-weariness speaking, he decided to just let her finish. "Let me guess, she wasn't tough enough?"

"Nope," Applejack agreed flatly. "When one friend wanted her to help pull off a stunt by jumping on a giant seesaw, first she faceplanted on the ground 'cuz her eyes wouldn't focus on the seesaw right, then she jumped when her friend weren't ready 'cuz she couldn't focus on what her friend was saying, and sent that friend right into the stratosphere. Then when she was supposed to help a friend make some muffins, she was so dang tired that she couldn't hear her friend properly and kept adding the wrong ingredients to the bowl. She actually added earthworms to the muffins. Earthworms, Flim."

The cream pony looked a little green. "Appetizing," he commented sarcastically. "Be that as it may-"

Applejack wasn't quite done. "When a third friend needed her help herding rabbits, she was so dang tired that she plain didn't listen to anything her friend said about being gentle, and just tried to get the job over with so she could go back to bucking apples. So she tried to herd the rabbits the same way she herded cows. The rabbits were so spooked, they stampeded through town and shredded just about all of the plant life they came across. You know who had to pay for all the ruined gardens and eaten market fruit? That sister."

Flim could only blink stupidly at that. A bunny stampede. Really.

"Listen, what I'm saying is, refusing to rest so that you'll get something important done faster is useless. It don't matter how important it is. If you refuse to rest or get the help you need, then you'll actually do worse. And don't tell me that this doesn't affect you. I don't know exactly how long you've been awake, but in the time I've seen you, you've jumped between moods and ideas about a hundred times. Your eyes look like somepony squirted them with the raspberry syrup Granny uses for flapjacks; that's how bloodshot they are. You ain't gonna be able to save Flam like this. Just tell me how to drive this thing, and you can sleep while I get us to Canterlot. Easy as that."

Flim initially looked like he was still going to protest. Then he got a good look at Applejack's face. She was still irritated, smug, and somewhat condescending, to be sure. However, there was also a hint of concern mixed in there, which was strange. Even when he'd told her about Flam in the first place, her family had apparently needed to make her see why she needed to be concerned about it. Part of him wondered if maybe she was softening towards him- but, no, she wouldn't do that in only a matter of hours. More likely than not, he had been acting so ridiculous due to his fatigue that it made even her concerned about the trouble it would cause. 

With the groan of one who had endured much stupidity, Flim relented. "Alright, fine. I suppose resting a little would help my efforts to find Flam...." He pointed a hoof at Applejack. "But you must give me your word that you will not get even scratch on the SSCS, you understand?"

Mouth quirking at Flim's acronym, the mare crossed a hoof over her chest. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

The stallion nodded. "That'll have to do...." Applejack waited expectantly, poised to get up. Biting his lip, Flim reluctantly went on, "Press the red, green, and blue buttons respectively- consecutively, mind you- and turn the little switch in the top right corner of the front plate. Then use the keypad on top with the arrows to turn as necessary. Turn the lever beside the keypad up to go forward, down to reverse, and leave it in the middle to brake. Then press the red, green, and blue buttons again to turn it off."

Flim pointed as he instructed, and Applejack moved her hoof over each portion as he pointed it out. She slid the raised hoof over the first three buttons, tapped the switch without pushing it, and experimentally pressed the arrow keys to get the feel for it. After a minute, she grinned. "Okay, I think I got it. Shoot, that's not so hard. Now what's this big red one do?" She waved her hoof over it, causing Flim to yelp and wave both hooves.

"Nonono, don't press that!" he cried. "That's the eject button! It flings the couch into the air! Flam and I haven't perfected it yet- it still flips the couch over onto the ground like.... like a flapjack!"

Applejack snickered and put her hoof down. "Well, that's useful. You should rig a smaller one for Granny's kitchen. Bet she'd like that." 

Flim just moaned in response. He moaned louder when Applejack started pushing the buttons and the locomotive roared to life. He moaned louder still when she tilted the lever forward and the whole wagon lurched. Applejack snapped a mildly good-humored "shaddup" at him, before giddily steering the vehicle down the road. A couple of overdone turns later, and Flim was begging to drive again.

"We don't even need to turn on a straight road! I was wrong, you don't know what you're doing, let me drive!"

"Do I hafta buck you unconscious? 'Cuz I will. You know I will."

Flim was silent for the rest of the drive.