It was a morning like any other at the Golden Oaks Library in the small town of Ponyville. A mail pony with a Pony Express uniform trotted up to the front desk where the alicorn librarian, Twilight Sparkle, had her nose deep in Surf Wind’s new book about flight suits for earth ponies. Hearing the hoofsteps, she raised her head and welcomed the visitor with her brightest smile.
“Hello, and welcome to the library! What can I do for you?”
“Hello, ma’am," said the delivery pony, looking around the vast collection of tomes. "I've got some stock for you, delivered by hoof. Sign here, please," he requested, using his magic to levitate a clipboard and pen in front of Twilight's snout.
“With pleasure.” Affixing her signature, Twilight gave a fond thought to the pony that had sent her this little gift: Book Worm, Ponyville's first bookseller, who had brought the love of reading to a generation of Ponyvillians. Twilight had quickly befriended him once she realized that he was, without a doubt, the only one in town to understand that getting a paper cut from a book was one of the most terrifying things ever – not just because it hurt, but also because a blood stain is really impossible to get off a page, which can lead to a whole host of unpleasant assumptions. Seriously, have you ever tried to remove a blood stain from a book? Wetting it and passing it under a hair drying makes the pages bend, and the result is even more disheartening than an entire army of parasprites. Why, even Discord can't–
“Ma'am? Ma'am?” the delivery pony repeated while passing a hoof in front of the unresponsive alicorn.
“Blood!” she shouted, causing the poor unicorn to jump back, eyes wide.
Twilight snapped out of it and sheepishly cleared her throat. "Oh, uh… Sorry. Well, it's signed. Where are the books?"
The delivery pony raised an eyebrow. "The box? Sorry, ma'am. You've been misinformed. You're to receive several boxes." The unicorn's horn glowed, instantly teleporting dozens of boxes into the library. "Have fun!" he chirped, satisfied with his job well done.
At the sight of the boxes, Twilight hesitated, caught between two completely different emotions: the joy of seeing all of these new books, and the joy of doing all the shelving
Scratch that. She just felt joy, because for Twilight, more books was never enough.
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“Spike? Spiiiiike? It’s shelving time!” Twilight exclaimed, with a smile that threatened to tear her face in two.
No answer. After all, it was Monday, and Spike didn’t like Mondays.
“Spike?" Twilight called as she climbed up to her room. "If you’re trying to avoid your chores again, I'll warn you: no gems for–” Her eyes fell on the sleeping basket belonging to her dear dragon. Inside was a note, which she levitated to her face.
Dear Twilight,
I needed to head to Canterlot early for some royal business. I only learned about this last night, and I'm sorry to tell you like this. I didn't want to wake you up. I'll bring you something nice from Canterlot when I come back on Friday.
Love,
Spike
Twilight carefully re-read the letter, sighing. "Just when I needed him." She let the letter flutter back down onto the bed and took a deep breath. Straightening her back and letting her voice drop, she activated her extreme librarian mode. "Well, Twilight, don't be discouraged. You're alone with a pile of book and a whole day to shelve them. You can do it, so let's get to work!"
Five long and exhausting hours later, the boxes had been emptied and the shelves had been filled.
Except for one box.
A lonely box.
A unique box among dozens.
THE box.
The box without which the story ends there.
Twilight mustered all the energy left in her to stay positive. “Come on Twilight, just one more box, and it will be over,” she said to herself. Even if she really loved books, shelving them was a weary, underappreciated, painful, laborious, grueling task.
In short, something for Spike. For friendship, of course.
And spending time shelving meant less time to read the books! Twilight approached carefully, both excited to see what was inside and eager to finally finish her task.
With her magic, Twilight opened the box and….
"What? What the…"
The titles of the books didn't leave any space for doubt: Hot Hooves, Burning Passion, Pony-Sutra, 50 Shades of Hay… Twilight stepped back a little, eyes wide and jaw on the floor. Certainly, she wasn’t as innocent as she had been when she was younger. No, that all changed when she'd discovered that issue of Playcolt under her brother's bed and her parents explained that babies doesn’t comes from seeds. That conversation was weird.
Luckily, Cadence explained it better, even if she blushed a deep red when Twilight asked her if she and Shining were ‘making sex.’ Ah, kids…
But now, what to do? Dozens and dozens of books with contents, covers, and titles that were all more than just suggestive. It’s true that a library must have all different kinds of books, and Twilight wasn’t one to judge a book by its cover.
But the library was also a public place, and what would happen if a young colt or a young filly found one of these books? Curious, Twilight took one of them in her magic glow and started to read a random page:
“Henry, I… I… I must warn you, it’s…
"Your first time?" The stallion asked her, his mane sweaty after their little warm-up.
"Yes,” the mare answered shyly. Her leather costume was open just enough to tease and arouse the imagination of her lover without revealing too much.
"Don’t worry. At first, it can hurt a bit, but all the young mares that fall between my hooves will tell you how… pleasurable it was," Henry explained, before jumping on Kate, kissing her greedily, pushing his tongue to explore this new territory. His hooves, at first behind the head of his night stand, started to go lower and lower, and reached her–”
Twilight slammed the book shut, her face redder than any of Applejack’s apples and one place on her body much warmer than the rest.
Her cheeks, you pervert.
Twilight pondered her options. Could she, in good conscience, put this kind of book in her library? Book Worm would be crushed if he learnt that his dear friend refused to put one of his gifts in the shelves. But where could she keep the kind of books you can only find in Equestrian sex shops?
“Think, Twilight. Think…" Twilight said, starting to turn frantically in circle around the library. Thinking back, she had some free space upstairs. She realized she could restrict the access to mares and stallions who were old enough for… this kind of reading.
“That’s it!” Twilight shouted. “I'll make an adult section! It'll be separate from the rest of the library, and I'll restrict access to only older ponies!"
And that's how the first place in Ponyville reserved for 18+ ponies was born (after Berry Punch's bar and Sugarcube Corner on nights where Pinkie drank coffee).
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“Voilà!” With one final stroke of the pen, the books were shelved, and the new section had been established. A sign with the inscription ‘Adult Section’ stood proudly on one of the shelves upstairs.
So many books that were so… instructive! With pages that would… spark the imagination! With….
DING!
Twilight couldn’t find a third benefit for her new acquisitions before the ringing of the bell floated through the air, announcing the arrival of readers who had a hunger for knowledge. They were eager to learn, eager to open their minds! These were ponies that would soon enjoy the benefits of a good book!
Namely, Lyra and Bon-Bon walked in, side-by-side and without space between their flanks. They walked towards Twilight, who could hear snippets of their conversation as she came down the stairs.
“I told you we won’t find that book here. And it's not like we need it to make you scream until the neighbors hear you,” Lyra said, flashing her most suggestive smile.
“LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted, kicking the unicorn on her flank.
“Ouch! Hey, you already in the mood? Save it for tonight, Bonnie. I don’t have the stamina of an earth pony, you know," Lyra purred, a teasing smile still on her face.
“Shh!" Bon-Bon snapped. "Let's just get in, get the book, get out–"
"And get off," Lyra said with a wink.
Bon-Bon didn’t have the time to protest before Twilight came into her view.
“Hello, Lyra! Hello, Bon-Bon! What can I do for you? Are you searching a book? I can give you some recommendations, or maybe you already know which one you'd like?” Twilight asked, smiling. Finally something that will get my mind off this por– Err, these erotic books, she thought.
“Hi, Twilight!” Bon-Bon said. “Yes, we're looking for a book, but I'm not... exactly sure if we can find it here," she said with some pink on her cheeks.
“Oh… Well, what are you looking for? I've got all kinds of books here," Twilight replied. She gestured with her hoof at all the shelves. Yes, everything now.
“Well…. In fact, Lyra and I… We’re looking for, err… the…” Bon-Bon’s words got quieter and quieter. In the end, she made Fluttershy seem like a heavy metal singer roaring into a microphone.
Lyra rolled her eyes. “We’re looking for the Pony-Sutra, Unicorn Edition!” said the minty mare, with so much confidence in her voice that she made her marefriend blush even harder.
“Yes… Err… You know, we’d like it because…” Bon-Bon had more and more trouble speaking.
Lyra came to Bon-Bon's rescue again, much to her chagrin. “What Bonnie's trying to say is that she read that unicorns can do awesome things in bed with their horns. And not just put them you-know-where-nudge-nudge-wink-wink-say-no-more,” she said, tapping the shoulder of her lover.
“LYRA!” shouted Bon-Bon, who wanted to bury herself six hooves under.
“Oh, I see…" Twilight answered. Well, that was fast. It’s like some writer's playing a cruel joke on me for a story or something. What a pervert. Twilight had seen that book – she'd stared at it for quite some time before entering it into her database. “Yes, I have it. Wait a moment, and I’ll be back.”
Afterwards, Twilight climbed to the new Adult Section and grabbed a book. She paused to look at it again.
No, there was nothing embarrassing about the front cover. The image of the red sheets with the long, rigid shape sticking straight up beneath them? Surely it was a horn. Nothing wrong with that at all. No, nothing. Not even the subtitle: “50 easy spells for unimaginable things in unimaginable places.” No, nothing at all.
Twilight returned to front desk and delivered the book. Writing their names in the register, she raised her eyes to see Lyra already deeply perusing its pages, like she was discovering the meaning of life.
Eyes widening, Lyra presented a particular page to her marefriend and shouted, “I told you it would fit! Look!”
If Bon-Bon had already died from embarrassment earlier, this time she was losing her afterlife, judging by the redness of her cheeks.
It didn’t seemed to bother Lyra, who continued to ahh and ooh while reading, a big grin on her face. She even started drooling.
“ThanksabunchTwilightbye," Bon-Bon shouted, shoving Lyra out the door to escape her moment of shame.
And also to speed up their enjoyment of the book, of course.
After the door got closed, Twilight tilted her head slightly. “Well, at least this book's made somepony happy. Two ponies, I suppose." Twilight added. She chuckled at her own joke.
She kept laughing for a few seconds.
Then a few minutes.
Then she lost track of time.
“Haha! Too bad Spike’s never here when I say something witty.”
“Why are you talking to yourself, Twilight?”
“AAHHHH!!” This unexpected voice made Twilight jump, and she noticed (after coming down from the ceiling) that it was only her pegasus friend, Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow, how did you get in here?” Twilight asked.
“Duh, through the window, like always. Why would Rainbow Dash use a door when she could make a real entrance?” the pegasus said, puffing out her chest.
Twilight rolled her eyes, before asking the oblivious question. “Don’t say anything," she said, raising a hoof to stop her friend. “Are you here to see if there’s a new Daring Do?”
“Why does everypony think I only come here to find the new Daring Do books?” she replied with a huff in her voice. “No, I come to say hello and… what’s this?”
Rainbow Dash zipped by, turned her head, and read the spines of the books. She soon collapsed with laughter. “Hahahaha! Twilight, I never thought you were that kind of mare!”
Twilight blushed. Honestly, Book Worm had left her a poisoned gift. And it was just the first day. "Twilight stood up straight and tried to put on her most professional tone. “Rainbow Dash, you’re in a public library. It’s normal to have all kinds of books. Even the most… unexpected," she finished, her cheeks even redder.
Rainbow Dash recovered quickly and started to search the shelves. The book she chose piqued her interested, judging by her spread wings and the way she was reading it quickly. “Wow, you even have this one!”
“Which book?” Twilight got close, trying to read the cover, which had wings on it. Her stomach knotted as she realized which book it probably was.
“This book!” Rainbow said, jamming it in her face.
Twilight had guessed correctly. “The Pony-Sutra: Pegasus Edition," she read louder.
“Awesome, there's so many things I’ve never done with Fluttershy! Look at number thirty!” the pegasus exclaimed as she opened it to the correct page.
“Rainbow, it’s not my job to get into your…” She shut up when she saw the illustration, which showed two pegasi in a most perplexing position. I didn’t know a pegasus could be so… flexible… This warrants further study.
Rainbow Dash was deep into the book, a thing Twilight had never seen from her outside of the Daring Do and Wonderbolts books. Every page amazed her and made her shout "AWESOME!" Her wings remained stiff.
“I guess you want to borrow it?” Twilight asked. She had to take back the book from Rainbow’s hooves to prevent her from drooling on number sixty-nine. Luckily, Rainbow was trained to keep control of her wings, despite the fact that the illustration could have kept them stiff forever.
“Yeah!" Rainbow said, nodding frantically. “I know somepony who's gonna have trouble walking tomorrow." The Pegasus sneered and winked, an expression that absolutely dripped with meaning.
Fluttershy? And what? She can fly… “RAINBOW!”
“Sorry, make that two, ‘cuz we’re totally trying number thirty-nine, and we won’t be able to set hoof on–”
“STOP! STOP! STOP! I can’t hear you, LALALALAAA!” Twilight sang, using her magic to create a soundproof bubble, writing on the register and push out Rainbow before she heard more embarrassing things. She struggled to not to imagine what Fluttershy had in store, and Twilight knew her night was going to be more and more restless.
After Rainbow left, the day was actually quite normal: few visitors, except people coming to ask where the closest WC was.
So Twilight read, read, and read some more, because a day is never boring when you spend it with a good book. But at the end of the day, after the 36th reading of ‘Equestrian History in 50 volumes,’ a little voice in her head began to speak louder and louder.
Twilight, you have a bunch of new books you’ve never read. They’re right over there.
Twilight bravely tried to resist. She didn’t want to lower herself to that level, not when she had so many other, more rewarding books so close at hoof.
50 ways to use your horn in a hostile environment? YES!
50 ways to use your horn in a non-hostile environment? NO!
Twilight’s horn seemed to have chosen for her, and she had to struggle not to pick the book up from the new shelves. The voice in her head was more and more convincing….
Twilight, new books! NEW BOOKS! NEW! BOOKS!
No more words were necessary, and she failed. The combination of the words “new” and “books” were enough to drive her crazy. Her curiosity forced her to run to the newest section and read a page. Then another. And another. Again. Again and again. She read so much that after a sleepless night, she had read almost all the new books in the adult section. Almost, except the Pony-Sutra volumes about alicorns. She’d save them for–
DING!
Already?! What time is it?! The mare asked herself, turning her head to the nearby clock, noticing it was in fact nine in the morning. As if this was the first time I've been up all night reading. Twilight smiled, yawning and stretching her legs. The door opened, and in walked…
“Oh, hello Lyra. Bon-Bon’s not with you?” Twilight questioned, noticing that the musician was alone with a dreamy smile plastered on her face.
“Hello, Twilight," the unicorn answered, her words coming out low and husky. She levitated a book in her yellow aura. “Thanks for the book. It was very… instructive, if you know what I mean," she said, setting the book with the suggestive cover down on the table.
You have no idea. “Isn't that the great thing about books, though? They help us learn, penetrate into virgin territories where our ignorance is exposed, enjoy new information, and I–”
Lyra giggled, and Twilight realized what she had said. She blushed. “Well, you understand.”
“Don’t worry, Twilight. Bonnie and me, we've expanded our knowledge," she laughed, giving Twilight a well-placed punch with her shoulder. “And a few other things. I'll recommend it to all my friends, so get ready to see a lot of people who want to ‘penetrate the virgin territories’," she finished, mimicking quotation marks with her hooves.
Twilight rolled her eyes. Sweet Celestia, this day would be long. Actually, now would be the perfect occasion to introduce her to some of the greatest books in Equestria history and not this por– Err, educational books ‘bout sex.
“Well, Lyra, now that I think about it, I have the new Jane Trotter book. Would you like to take a look? It’s also very… rewarding, in another way," Twilight said while showing the cover of new book.
“Don’t you have any books like the one I borrowed yesterday? But with ponies and humans?” Lyra asked with an innocent look.
Twilight's expression was very different as the book – and her jaw – hit the table. Who could be so sick that they'd write that kind of thing? And who in Tartarus would even want to read it? “Err… No. I don't have anything like that here… If they exist… But…" Twilight stammered, unable to hide her discomfort.
Seeing her struggle, Lyra leaned in closer and whispered quietly, after checking around her. “Don’t think anything of it. I love Bonnie more than anything in the world, but we have all our… shameful secrets.” She finished with a wink and a smile.
This mare really need a treatment, Twilight thought before coming back to her senses. “But you know, there are plenty of books without humans. I finished 50 Shades of Hay yesterday and I loved it. I think it would suit your… tastes.” Twilight's librarian instinct, the light that banished the dark in the brains of the readers, the buoy that will save a pony drowning in an ocean of books, was finally back.
Lyra seemed to hesitate some time before answering. “Okay, Twilight, I trust you. You’re the book expert, after all.”
Twilight smiled at Lyra's words. Nothing could make her happier. In her wildest fantasies, someone would whisper these words in her ear, sending her to incredible heights, too much for even the bravest pegasus.
The loan concluded, Lyra left and closed the door. Twilight could finally resume her usual librarian tasks and studies. Today, she'd examine the effects of coffee after a sleepless night.
But judging by the incredible amount of new readers coming to borrower from the suddenly famous 'Adult Section,' Lyra had many friends. The library had never seen so many ponies within its walls, even as the shelves for the books on philosophy, society, and great Equestrian works went untouched. The readers were visibly more excited by discovering new pleasures than by learning about the influences of Starswirl the Bearded.
But, Twilight figured, there was no accounting for tastes.
Twilight sulked a bit. There were so many history-changing works that wanted to be read instead of Saddle and Crop or Burning Wings.
At least she could count on Ponyville having baby boom, and then Twilight could teach all of those young minds the magic of reading. With any luck, those foals would read about something besides erotic uses for horns, hooves and feathers.
DING!
Later that night, after most of the patrons had left, Twilight snapped out of her trance.
"Hello, what can I–" Twilights eyes opened wide. "PRINCESS LUNA?" she shouted. A royal figure had entered the library – her library – and Twilight calmed herself enough to wonder what business a princess had in Ponyville when the Royal Canterlot Library was so extensive.
Luna slowly marched up to the desk. "Hello, Twilight Sparkle. We are pleased to see you again. You must be asking yourself what we're doing here, so let us get this straight. We know that you have books that have been removed from the royal library."
Twilight gulped. She was torn between wanting to be a good librarian and not wanting to be torn asunder for peddling erotic books.
"P-Princess Luna, it would be an honor to help you. What kind of book are you searching for?" Twilight questioned, happy to note that the library was empty at this time of day. She decided to feel humbled that she would be able to help Luna, even if they were both princesses. She just hoped nopony would hear about their little interaction.
“WE ARE SEARCHING THE MODERN EDITION OF THE ALICORN PONY-SUTRA!!”
Luna hadn't turned off the ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ to announce her request. All of Ponyville must have heard it.
Twilight gulped and grimaced. "Princess, please. Your voice." She removed her hooves from her ears, worried not only about going deaf, but also about what she had heard. "Would… would you repeat that, please?"
"Oh. We apologize, Twilight Sparkle. I was asking if you have the Pony-Sutra edition for alicorns," Luna repeated, more quietly this time.
Contrary to her fears, Twilight's head didn't explode, but her cheeks threatened to melt the rest of her face.
Taking a moment to collect herself, Twilight stammered, "Yes, I-I have it, but…"
Luna sighed before taking hold of the conversation. "We understand your surprise, young Sparkle. You have of course heard that we are in a relationship with Big Macintosh Apple," Luna explained, a little blush in her cheeks "We think we are beyond mere flirtatious behavior, and we feel it is time to express our love more… physically."
Twilight hadn't seen this sort of shyness from the princess before. She raised an eyebrow, not because she had just learned about the relationship, nor because she didn't understand the words, but because she thought Luna was already knew plenty about intimacy with her subjects, if the tabloids were to be believed.
"You see, dear Twilight," continued Luna. "Mac is the first stallion we've had a relationship with since our return to Equestria, and we are a bit… rusty with the rules of love. We have searched the royal library, but it is lacking. Perhaps some ponies judge them unworthy. We thought you might have some of them in the Ponyville library, and…" Luna lowered her gaze, scraping the floor with her hoof.
"Say no more, Princess. I understand completely," said Twilight, pushing away thoughts of Big Mac in good company. Royal company, even. She decided that their physical contact and height difference would be a good subject for research, though she would have some difficulty explaining to the Equestrian Science Committee why they should study the impact of muscular bodies up against royal bodies. With repeated impacts. Over and over and over again.
Twilight shook her head and realized where her mind had gone. Books! Why have you forsaken me? Focus, Twilight!
Twilight went upstairs and picked up the book that Luna was looking for, returning a moment later.
"Here you go, Princess Luna. I've found a copy. This version was even written by…" Twilight lowered her eyes and blushed, redder than before, as she noted the author of the book. There were thing that she had hoped to never find out.And I never thought I’d think that. “Er… a very good author, haha… Uh… Yeah, that’s it.”
Luna beamed upon seeing the book, her first real smile of the evening. She couldn't contain her joy as she scooped up Twilight in her hooves. "We are most grateful, Twilight Sparkle! If we can ever be of service, let it be known how, and–"
The gasping sounds coming from Twilight's mouth convinced Luna to loosen her grasp. Luna released her and watched her turn from blue back to purple. "Oh, err, sorry. We do not know our own strength sometimes."
Hopefully she figures it out before Mac ends up in a wheelchair. "That's alright, Princess," Twilight managed to say between two labored breaths. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must close the library." She opened the door and gestured for Luna to get out.
Luna understood and walked on by, the book held in her magical blue aura. "We understand, Twilight. After all, Sir Macintosh awaits! Thank you for the book. We are sure it will be most satisfying," Luna concluded before taking off into the black night towards Sweet Apple Acres.
Twilight's mind spun with possibilities. She was ready for another long, hard night, and she hoped Mac was, too.
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Books, Princess, Mac, Apple, books, guides to alicorns, pegasi, unicorns, earth ponies, coffee, books, hot romances, books.
Twilight had never dreamt so much in one night. She thought she'd seen everything that week, but she never imagined what the next day would bring her.
Between the returns and the new loans, the library was never empty.
Essentially the adult section.
…
Only the adult section.
New knowledge was spreading around Ponyville, the kind of knowledge that sometimes left a funny smell on the returned books. Where are they even sticking these? Twilight continued pondering angles and techniques until…
DING!
Twilight peeled her nose away from her books to see… a stallion!
It's been a while since I've seen one here, she thought. With a mare-stallion ratio of three to one, the library rarely saw the hooves a male.
And this stallion wasn't just any male. This male was Soarin Windsong, the Wonderbolt. Rainbow Dash would have a heart attack if she knew he was here, she thought.
"Hello, Mr. Soarin! It's an honor to have you here," Twilight said, happy that he wasn't followed by a mare squealing about the benefits of the Pony Sutra.
"Hello, Miss Sparkle. How are you?" the stallion answered with all his usual charm. He scanned the library from left to right as he approached the front desk.
Oh, besides the constant bombardment of adult-oriented material that would make Rarity's usual novels look like fillies' books, everything's fine, thanks. Thankfully, Twilight rarely let her mind speak first.
"I'm well, thank you. What can I do for you?" asked the librarian. A Wonderbolt in the library? Perfect! This will be marvelous advertising, especially if he's a literary savant. Ooh! Maybe he'd like something about philosophy!
"Well, you see, I'm looking for a book. A special one. I could pick one up in Cloudsdale, but I was hoping I could find a quieter place to enjoy it," he said, looking over his shoulder. In a whisper, he added, "Someplace where I don't have fans or paparazzi spying on me all the time."
"Oh, I see," Twilight whispered back, copying his tone of voice. "And which book would you like?"
Soarin motioned for her to come closer before whispering in her ear, "The Pony-Sutra for stallions."
"THE PONY-SUTRA FOR STALLIONS?!" Twilight shouted before Soarin clapped her mouth shut with his hooves.
"Yes, the Pony-Sutra for stallions," repeated Soarin, his brow a little furrowed. "I heard that you have an entire section with that kind of book, and Ponyville is much quieter than Cloudsdale," he explained.
"Oh, sorry. I just thought that… that…" Twilight stammered. She couldn't believe her ears, and she couldn’t believe her eyes.
"You thought I was into mares? Haha, yeah, people like to think that, since I'm a star and all, but no. I'm not with Spitfire, like the tabloids say. We're just friends, nothing more," he explained before leaning closer to Twilight's ear again. "Truth be told, the guy that stole my heart is named Braeburn Apple, and I wanna learn a few things before I go visit him in a week."
Braeburn? Why am I not surprised? Twilight came back to her senses. "I understand. After all, love is blind, right? I’ll get it for you right away."
Twilight climbed the stairs and quickly found the book. Scanning the pages, she couldn't help but marvel at the incredible things that two stallions could do together. Fascinating. I thought they were pretty limited on options, but clearly–
"Miss Sparkle?"
Twilight slammed the book closed, bringing an end to her reading. Her very educational reading. Her reading that was so informative the she'd lost track of time. "Oh, sorry!" she sputtered quickly. "I-I was just looking! For science!"
"I see," Soarin answered, narrowing his eyes and turning his head toward the rapidly spreading wings in Twilight's back.
"Oh, shoot! I'm really sorry." Twilight tried and failed to fold them back in.
Soarin wasn't able to control his fit of laughter. "Haha! Don't worry. Even pros like me lose control when we see something as sexy as a stallion in tight panties in front of them," Soarin said with dreamy eyes, his cheeks getting red after he realized what he was saying. "I've said too much, haven't I?"
Twilight nodded slowly. These books had definitely helped her learn more in a few days than the others had during the whole rest of her life. Another victory for knowledge, she giggled to herself.
Soarin took the book, thanked Twilight, and left the library, mumbling something to himself about black silk scarves.
After he'd left, Twilight smiled broadly. A Wonderbolt! A Wonderbolt in my library!
Her expression went blank. Wait… panties and black scarves?
****************************************************************************************************************
Calm finally reigned in Twilight's home. To the surprise of no one, she was reading a book and sipping chamomile tea while birds sang outside. Nothing could have been more peaceful. It was so relaxing that she started to–
DONG! DONG!
Instead the little jingling of the usual bell above her door, the library was filled with a huge toll that nearly destroyed her ears, which could only mean…
"DISCORD!" Twilight shouted without turning her head.
The draconequus appeared before her, grabbing her with his eagle claw and lion's paw.
"Oh, my dear, dear, Twilight. It's so good to see you again, my friend. How long has it been since we've seen each other, hm? One week? Two?" the draconequus asked, keeping the small alicorn in his embrace.
"Discord… Been… Three days…" Twilight gasped, suffocating in the creature's fur.
"Really? Apologies, my dear, but time passes so much slower when you live in Canterlot. But I'm here now!" He spread his arms out wide, with Twilight at the end of his paw.
Twilight managed to free herself from his grip. "Discord, if you've come to bother me, I don't want you here. And don't. Touch. The. BOOKS!" Twilight sneered. There was nothing worse in the world than her fury at a damaged book, except maybe watching paint dry.
Discord narrowed his eyes. "Twilight, who do you think I am? I'm the Spirit of Chaos, and I don't want to see you angry." He shivered, recalling the risks associated with angering the one pony that could best him. "No, I was having a stroll in this lovely town after my weekly tea with Fluttershy. Poor dear. She was limping! She said it was due to a bad fall, but I know the truth."
Twilight opened her eyes wide. Impossible! He can't know that Fluttershy and Rainbow–
"She fell because she knew I was coming, and she couldn't help but leap for joy! Oh, what a feisty little pony," Discord explained.
You don't know the half of it. Everything seemed like a problem, and she was doing her best to keep the conversation relatively normal. "Yeah, a bad fall. That's it. And why, may I ask, did you show up today?"
"For the books, my dear! Just because I'm the Spirit of Chaos doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good book in front of the fireplace from time to time," the creature exclaimed. "Why, no more than a week ago, I devoured every quantum physics book in Equestria!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. Is that possible? "Wait, when you said 'devoured,' did you mean read or eat?" The hope in her voice faded as quickly as it had appeared.
"Eat, of course. Made me a bit queasy, but they were delicious!" Discord picked up a nearby newspaper and munched on it. "Try it sometime. You won't forget it."
"Eat a book?!" Twilight screamed, stepping back. "Blasphemy! Do you even hear yourself? You really think I–"
Discord wasn't listening. He was already flying upstairs, where his eyes fell on those accursed shelves. He scanned them quickly, and mouth curved in his most wicked smile.
"My dear Twilight, I didn't realize you were expanding your studies. My, my, you really are a very naughty pony…" Discord began flipping through pages of the book, peppering the silence with little sniggers of delight.
Twilight dashed up the steps. "Discord! This is a public library, not my personal library! Just because these books are here doesn't mean–"
"Oh!!! You even have this one! It's my favorite! Celly's, too!" He plucked the book from the shelf and ran a paw over the cover. "Oh, and she even wrote it! What a sneaky little mare."
"What are you talking about? I–" Twilight glanced at the cover, and her fears were confirmed: The Pony-Sutra, Alicorn Edition, Written by Princess Celestia.
"So that's why she knows so many things!" Discord laughed, reading more and more of the pages. "Oh, so that's how I'm supposed to put my…" He trailed off and turned his head upside down. "Ah, I see. So if her horn goes there and my–"
"STOP STOP STOP!!! I don't want to hear any of that! This library is my home, so shove it!" Twilight shouted, putter her hooves in her ears. First, Lyra and Bon-Bon, then Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, and now, Discord and Celestia. At this rate, she could open a sex therapy office by the end of the week.
Wait. Discord and… "Since when are you with the Princess, anyway?" Twilight inquired, raising an eyebrow and turning back to the creature.
Discord literally pulled his eyes from the book and stared at her. "Well, Twilight, Celly and I have been friends for a long time. And you know that friends can become more than friends when you take the time to get to know them more… deeply," he said with a suggestive wink.
Twilight understood and said nothing more, though her mind was already full of naughty images. She decided to research an amnesia spell that night.
"Discord, enough. Take the book, and get out of here." Twilight tried to look stern and firm and supple, despite her shock.
Discord closed the book and climbed down the stairs. "Okay, Miss Meanie-Pants. I quit, and I'll take this little book. You really should read it, too. It will help you loosen up a little." He flew to the window.
“Do you have any idea how much time I spent reading them!?” she answered without thinking.
“What was that?” Discord asked, pricking his ear.
Realizing that what she said would undoubtedly lead to a never-ending conversation full of infinite embarrassment, Twilight said, “Nothing. You have seven days to return it. And don’t eat the book!”
Discord turned back one last time and gave her a smirk. "Oh, don't worry. I'll have plenty to eat soon enough."
By the time the door was closed, Twilight was already halfway through a book on amnesia spells.
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First her friends, then a Princess, a stallion, the Spirit of Chaos, and after that, the library was constantly faced a reader's patrons non-stop. Normally, Twilight would be glad, but everypony wanted to borrow books on the same topic. Not the history section, not the poetry section, not the philosophy section. No, no, no.
All from the freaking adult section.
"No, we don't have the first volume of 50 Shades of Hay, but I just got in a new masterpiece called Poems for a Daisy by Posey Sky. Are you interested?"
"I… will come back later," answered the mare, leaving the library with empty hooves.
Nopony was even trying to explore the other books. Even when Twilight had substituted one of the erotic books with a more historical saga by magically changing the cover, the borrower had quickly returned complaining that there were no crops, saddles, or hoofcuffs after fifteen pages. Twilight was unable to convince her to read further.
Twilight started feeling sick, and each interaction drove her more crazy, especially when a donkey came into the library.
Twilight was busy at her register, her horn aching from checking the erotic books in and out all day, and she snapped at the new patron. "No, I don't have pornographic books with a donkey and a donkey, or a mare and a donkey, or a stallion and a donkey, or anything like that!"
Pulling a monocle and a teacup from nowhere, the donkey spoke with a most beautiful Canterlot accent. "My word! All I wanted was a copy of The Royal Writings, and here I am, treated like one of those infamous readers of those infamous books. Good day, Madam!" He turned perfectly on one hoof and stormed out of the library, nose held high.
Twilight didn't sleep that night, her thoughts riddled with guilt over turning an honest patron away.
And then the library started attracting weirdos. She threw a tantrum when a pony in a raincoat with the newest edition of Hot Hooves asked if she sold accessories to supplement the reading experience.
Twilight wasn't red from embarrassment, but from anger. The library had become her own personal treehouse of horror.
For Twilight, being a librarian meant opening the world to more culture, helping others discover new things, and teaching thousands of ponies that books can help them travel to far-off places, not digging up a well-used copy of My Horn and Me: Stories for the Bedroom.
Friday was so grueling that she fell asleep in her office. It happened sometimes, but never so early. It was so early that she didn't hear Spike coming back from his Canterlot trip.
Spike took care to throw a blanket over his sleepy friend. He then took a stroll around the library, enjoying the quiet.
Searching for any new comics, Spike was sad to find that the new Power Ponies wasn't available, so he continued to wander between the shelves, where he eventually found a new addition upstairs. Even though it was clearly labeled 'Adult Section,' Spike couldn't help but take a look.
He came to a stop in front of the bottom shelf, running a claw along it and reading a few titles. "Let's see. Burning Passion, Pleasuring Hooves, Pony-Sutra for Pegasi..." he read aloud. Spike wasn't one to judge a book by its cover, something that made Twilight very proud, and he was always eager to learn new things. Curious, he picked up one of the books and opened to a page in the middle.
"Lisa walked to the bed, her forehooves tightened around John's waist, her one night stand. Another one amongst all the others."
Spike even added in a few voices. “‘Take me now, don’t make me wait. You can’t imagine how many nights I spent imagining your hoof instead of mine,’ she whispered, peppering his mouth with kisses and licks in good places, the ones she learned to know so well.’
"'You thought you were the only one to play with your hoof?' he said before letting her down on the bed. 'All those girls before, they don't count. Tonight, you're mine, and you will have the best night of your life.'
"John unbuttoned his vest, and Lisa was busy on his pants. The velvety jail finally off, John stroke in circles Lisa's flanks, focusing on her cutie mark, not stopping his movements before going up to let his hoof on her..."
Spike felt more and more uncomfortable, lost, and distraught, but he was so deep into his reading that he didn't hear Twilight wake up with a start, mumbling something about crops. She groggily climbed to the top of the stairs, snapping to attention and yanking the book from his claws. "Spike! Didn't I tell you never to go into this section?" she roared.
Spike, shocked by her terrifying expression and messy mane, stepped back. "No! Never! I-I-I… This is the first time I've ever seen something like this. Twilight, what's going on? W-why did the stallion want to put his hoof in the mare's… err… honey pot?”
Twilight slapped a hoof to her face.
This was it.
The dreaded day.
The one she had made her parents go through, but now the roles were reversed.
Twilight had feared this moment for a long time. This was the moment Spike would lose his innocence, the moment where she would have to tell him the whole truth, the moment where she would have to explain that there was more than just kisses and cuddles.
It was time to explain how babies are made.
****************************************************************************************************************
"So… it's really like that? But it's so… gross." Spike stuck his tongue out. He was nestled into the hooves of the mare that would act as his mother for a few minutes. Well, a few hours, because it was necessary to explain the differences in mating habits between ponies, gryphons, dragons, etc. while answering many, many questions in excruciating detail. Plus, she had to do it simply, without the diagrams, statistics, and twenty-six slide presentations that she was used to.
Twilight laughed a little at Spike's reaction, but she quickly returned to the "teacher mode" she loved so much. "Spike, it isn't gross. It's natural. Sex can be beautiful when the two ponies are in love, whether they're different species or the same sex." Twilight explained everything gently, never letting go of her little dragon.
"But in the book, it's–"
"Spike, books aren't always right," Twilight said, eyes lowered to the little warm body against her fur.
Spike laughed. "Wow, never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Yeah, yeah." Twilight rolled her eyes. "So, like I said, these kinds of books are just… How should I say it? They titillate the reader's imagination. Everything is exaggerated, nothing like this happens for real, and it's all just for fun. The ponies that read these stories are normal. There's nothing wrong with them, but they like to read something different once in a while. Don't take it too seriously.”
Spike didn't say anything for a few minutes, instead reflecting on the weirdest conversation he'd had with Twilight in a long time. He opened his mouth a few times, but it took several tries to finally say something. "Twilight, all these books… Are you really going to keep them?" he asked while playing with his claws and letting Twilight read her head on his. "I… I think it's kinda creepy to have them."
Twilight had been waiting for someone to ask that, and she already had an answer. "No, Spike. I'm going to put them in the basement. I've made a big mistake by making them available to everypony. I should have known there were some books you can't put in everypony's hooves," she explained quietly, stroking her dragon's scales.
"But… what if somepony needs them?"
"Spike, these aren't educational book. You can't learn love from them. Like the way you fold a map or how to lay laminate flooring, it's something you have to learn for yourself on this big journey called life.”
"Okay, but why are we talking about laminate flooring?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
Silence reigned for a moment. "I have no idea. This day's already been so weird." She took a look at a nearby clock. "It's getting late. Let's go to sleep, okay? We'll put these books in the basement tomorrow, first thing in the morning."
"Sure, Twi." Spike gave her one last hug and let her kiss him on the forehead before going to his bedroom.
"And don't touch the books until then, okay?"
"Okay, Twilight. Good night." Spike lazily waved back and made his way to a well-deserved sleep.
He grew up so fast, Twilight thought, and a little tear ran down her cheek.
***********************************************************************************************************
A few hours later, Twilight was finishing her nightly studies when she heard a knock at the door. Who can it be now? she asked herself.
She stood up to answer, walked over to the door, opened it, and…
She was tackled to the floor by an orange mare, who forcefully pressed her lips against Twilight's mouth. Twilight was surprised at first, but then melted into the kiss. Their embrace continued for a few seconds before they began breathing again.
"Applejack!" Twilight cheered, jumping up to snuggle her marefriend. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow!"
Applejack returned the hug and stroked Twilight's mane. "I know, but the AppleCon closed early this year. So, I thought…" She searched in her saddlebag and pulled out a beautiful hairpin shaped like an apple. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Twi!" Applejack said before tenderly kissing her lover.
Twilight did the same, closing her eyes to enjoy the moment before opening them wide when she realized what Applejack had said. Oh no! Hearts and Hooves Day? How could I forget!
Applejack released her from their kiss, carefully putting the hairpin on Twilight's mane. "You're stunning, Twi," she continued, brushing the hair out of Twilight's face.
Twilight turned back to see herself in the mirror. The shape of the hairpin reminded her of Applejack and was a beautiful symbol of their love. "Applejack, I… Thank you. It's marvelous. I…"
Quick! Think of a gift! Faster! FASTER! Twilight's brain was moving at top speed, searching for a gift or an excuse or…
Suddenly, Applejack jumped on her again, peppering her face with kisses. Between breaths, she managed to say, "Sorry, Twi, but I… I've missed you so much, and I want you so bad. Before I head to the farm, I thought we could… Ya know..." She winked at Twilight, making herself crystal clear.
Twilight understood and returned the embrace.
Their ferocious hooves explored each other’s bodies as they rolled around on the floor, all the way to a nearby table that Twilight bumped with her horn. A book landed on Applejack’s head. She removed her Stetson and let her mane flow freely.
“Ow!” Applejack shouted. “What's that?” She stopped her oral assault and crawled to the offending object, reading the title aloud. "The Pony-Sutra for Alicorns? Twilight, is this…"
Twilight winced and braced herself for the worst.
"It's fantastic! This is the perfect gift. Heck, why didn'tcha say you were so curious?" Applejack laughed, scanning a few pages of the book.
"Well, you know I'm always, uh, open to new things!" Twilight smiled and breathe a sigh of relief, resuming their kissing session and stroking Applejack's golden mane.
Applejack didn't take her eyes off the book. She whistled at one page in particular. "Hey, Twilight?" she asked.
"Hm?" Twilight hadn't stopped kissing her.
"Mind if we try some of this stuff tonight? Take a gander: this page looks… promising." Applejack held up the book and gave a sultry bat of her eyes.
Twilight blushed a bit. Yes, it will be most informative to explore the mechanics of such a position.
Twilight stood up, taking the book in her purple aura. She shook her hips suggestively as she climbed the stairs, showing off a few choice parts of her anatomy.
"Absolutely, but I'll need an assistant. Are you available?" she asked, purring. Just for tonight, she thought.
"You bet'cha. After all, you're the book expert," Applejack answered, climbing the stairs after her. As they entered the spare room, she added, "Speaking of which, Twi, how long have you had that thing?"
"Oh! Uh, not for very long. Don't worry about it. Let's just enjoy it before it gets too late," Twilight laughed. She opened the door and motioned for Applejack to go in first.
The farm pony entered and grabbed the book, making herself comfortable on the bed. "Come in, Sugarcube."
Twilight quickly scrawled something on a sheet of paper and tossed it to the front desk. When she was finished, she ran into the spare room, eager to explore the book with her marefriend. After all, a good book should be shared, right? And if any of those books deserves to stay out of the basement, it's this one. Twilight smiled, closing the door behind her.
Down at the front desk, a note was displayed for any customers that might come in:
"Dear readers,
Due to unforeseen complications, the Adult Section will no longer be available here. We invite you to go to another library or book shop, and we hope you find what you are searching for. All our other books are still here, just waiting for you.
Sincerely,
The Management
P.S. Sorry, Book Worm"
************************************************************************************************************
The next morning, two bodies with entangled limbs and messy manes lie nestled against each other, with some feathers here and there on stained sheets.
Suddenly, Applejack woke up with a start.
“Shoot! You think Spike heard anything?”
Still half-asleep, Twilight opened widely her eyes. “Oh no! Spike!”
In the next room, a little dragon was curled in a corner, arms crossed around his legs, stuck against his chest, in fetal position. With his eyes wide open and bloodshot. Twilight and Applejack hadn’t been the only ones that had had a restless night.
THE END