You ever have those days where you feel that somepony is out to get you if you make one wrong move?
Thanks to Lyra, that has become my second nature. The unicorn refused to give up her mythical "hoo-mens" research on almost every pony in Equestria and had recently decided that she might have missed an easy target all along. Me.
I told her that she must be crazy. I've been an earth pony all my life. My name is Bon Bon.
And I think Lyra believes that I must be one of the mythical folkloric creatures who, according to her, once populated Equestria.
Much like she was right now.
"Seriously, have you ever thought about what humans are like, Bon Bon?" she asked, going off on another tangent of what they were supposed to be like. "Creatures that are real! With hands and everything!"
I rolled my eyes. "Listen, Lyra. How does this even relate to anything about me?"
"Oh, ye of little faith. It's because you must be a human, Bon Bon!"
My mouth dropped wide open. Was she serious? I usually had to drag her plot all the way out of the many embarrassing situations she got herself into, but this was somewhat new. "S-seriously, Lyra? You think I'm a creature from myths? Are you crazy? Have you taken your medication this morning?"
Lyra smiled smugly. "I know it's true. Now tell me. What was life on Earth like? Was it anything like I've read in the books? Or is it entirely different? Ooh, and who were you?" She started trotting towards me, firing off questions at a rate of about a thousand or so (give or take a few) a minute about my supposed life in a land from a storybook.
"LYRA!" I exclaimed, almost throwing the tray of desserts I had made into her face. "I am not a mythical creature. You know me. I'm Bon Bon. And I always will be. Not some fanciful creature that came out of somepony's mind to explain Equestrian history!"
She froze in her tracks. "Denying it, are we?"
"I'm not denying anything! I've been a pony all my life. We met when we were little fillies!"
"So......" Lyra let the word drag out from a very long and uncomfortable time.
"So I am not one of those creatures!" I finished for her.
It took nearly all my self control to not just reach out and slap her in the face until her normal senses came around. She had been advancing this theory on me for Celestia knows how long about a couple of times a day. And every time I denied it.
I was an earth pony that they called Bon Bon. I was born in Ponyville. Nothing could change those two facts no matter how much Lyra thought I just fabricated it out of thin air.
She believed that Bon Bon was a cover name for the 'true me' and got the mayor to falsify my own birth certificate out of nowhere.
And that was only just the tip of the iceberg.
Lately, she had even watched me very carefully (and yet always from the distance) doing my daily jobs around our house. She thinks that someday she'll see me slip up my 'pony masquerade' and revert back to my so-called 'human ways'.
Yeah, by this point I'm beginning to think that all this time I have been living with an insane unicorn known as Lyra Heartstrings. Celestia help me.
"Bon Bon......" Lyra deadpanned, inserting herself almost directly into my face. "I know you're truly a human....."
I set down the tray of desserts and raised a hoof to my forehead to massage the headache I was currently experiencing. "No, I'm not. You're getting silly, Lyra. I have never even been anywhere near this mythical creatures. So what makes you wholeheartedly believe that I must be one?"
"Scientific evidence!" she exclaimed in a voice that startled me and caused me to jump a few feet in the air. "I may not have it all together yet, but when I do, you won't be Bon Bon any longer. I'll see that you are a human!"
With that, she raced out the door (which she left wide open) on her way to the Golden Oaks Library. At least that's what I assumed. She probably was going to try to convince Twilight about me being an out-of-this-world creature from the far distant past.
With a sigh, I closed the door and slumped down into the nearest chair I could find. I needed a recap of what had just happened.
Lyra once again believed I was a mythical being summed it up pretty nicely.
I'll just keep telling her. My name is Bon Bon. We've known each other since fillyhood. I was born and raised in this town of Ponyville. And I had all the evidence I needed to prove my point. There's no way in Equestria that I am a.....human....... My thoughts began to wander viewing this from Lyra's perspective. Maybe I am..... What if I am a human? What if someday, she's going to be right in her theory?
I got up off the chair and trotted over towards the nearest mirror we had in our house. The same reflection looked back at me. One earth pony with a navy and pink mane and tail with my own special cutie mark that denoted my talent with candies. This reflection was not what Lyra kept saying that humans were like at all. This is the sight I had gotten used to all my life. I was nothing more than a simple earth pony. I couldn't stand up on my two hind hooves and walk around like Lyra set I could in my previous life.
What if.......What if......I am a human......?