"Dusk"
Two Months Later
"AGHHH!" I threw my notebook against the wall... It actually made a dent in solid crystal.
"Seriously? What am I an Earth Pony now..?" I shook my head. This was really starting to get to me. I'd sensed a change in the local magical signature, really I had! It was a tiny, subtle thing that hadn't been obvious at first...
And I had no idea what it meant. Spike said the readout was normal, I even agreed with him.
I caught a glance of myself in a test tube... I sighed.
I'd read up a bit on dysphoria before all of this... more after. There was a lot of drama surrounding it, hundreds upon lurid hundreds of novels with characters being scandalized by the mere mention of their birth sex and smashing mirrors the moment they encountered them.
Maybe that was true for Fluttershy, but for me... It was just exhausting. I didn't feel angry, at least not all the time... Okay, a lot more than I did before, but not all the time.
"T-twilight?" Spike's voice came down from the stairs. "Are you okay?"
I composed myself and looked back up at the poor baby dragon who was caught up in all of this. I gave him a smile. "I'm fine Spike, just a bad result."
"Should I call the princesses?" He asked.
"No," I said in my deep, deep voice. "I'll be fine."
"Elusive"
"You're not fine!" Sweetie Belle insisted. "Something's wrong, you've been sad this entire visit!"
Opal nodded her head in agreement. Traitor...
I gave my little sister my very best beam. "Sweetie there's nothing wrong at all. Want to help me sew up this new concept design?"
My sister leaned over to the sewing machine, squinting. "You've been making a lot of dresses recently."
"A large order." I said, not skipping a beat. "Now come here, I can show you some lovely pattern stitches!
My little sister harrumphed. "Only if you tell me what's bothering you."
I sighed. "I assure you Sweetie, I'm fine."
She left the workroom, muttering. "Why can't stallions ever talk about their feelings?"
"Rainbow Blitz"
It tore into me like a knife.
Thunderlane tilted his head. "Dude, are you okay?"
I shook myself. "Huh? Oh, yeah. What did you say?"
He smiled. "A Stallion's night out bro! The other folks on the weather team have been worried about you, so we thought we could throw something together. Pokey's even got a way to project the hoofball game at the tavern, It'll be great. Canterlot U vs Manehatten State! Battle of the titans on the ground! Are you in?"
"Heh..." I liked hoofball, I liked the tavern, I loved the weather team, but... Stallion's Night out?
I looked away. "Uh... Maybe I'll take a rain-check on this one..."
"Bubble Berry"
"Rain check? To the Joke Shop? Okay, Bubble we need to talk, something is very wrong."
I blinked. "Huh? What is Mrs. Cake?"
She narrowed her eyes. "I've tried to be nice, but this is getting ridiculous! You can't get out of bed in the morning, you're exhausted all the time, you're distracted... Something is clearly bothering you and it's affecting your work."
She frowned. It was truly sad. "Bubble I like you, truly I do, but this is not good. Is there something wrong?"
I forced a smile. "Nope! Nothing at all Mrs. Cake! I'm perfectly fine..."
Applejack
"Could you please stop saying you're fine!" Applebloom cried.
I took in a breath of sweet farm air and held myself in control. My mind was a fortress. Tougher than the toughest corral. Nothing I didn't want to was getting out.
I turned to my sister with a chuckle. "Now don't you worry little sis. I know it's been tough what with me acting weird a few months back and our new guest and all, but things are looking up. The harvest is beautiful, we've got a new stand, I think Granny even mentioned the Zap Apples will come in soon."
My little sister whimpered... It was almost enough, almost enough to make me break, but I knew I couldn't. I had to be strong. For my family, for her...
She shook her head. "Our "guest" wanted to see you by the way..."
"Butterscotch"
Applejack opened the door with that easy smile on her face. She was bigger now, strong. She looked good as a stallion. It was nice...
It wasn't her though, I mean it was deep down, you could see that, but it wasn't her on the outside, just like I wasn't me.
She tipped her hat. "Hey Sugarcube. How ya'll doin?'"
I smiled. "I just needed to talk to someone. How has your day been?"
She smiled back, it looked so comforting on that face. Not like the old Applejack, but comforting nonetheless.
"Pretty darn good. There are clear skies and beautiful harvests as far as the eye can see. How about you, did you get a chance to hang out with your animal friends?"
I nodded. I had been able to see them more often now. Sometimes I was able to help out. Sometimes I was able to forget.
Applejack had been so kind taking me in... It was perfect really, the old farmhouse had lots of space, it was pretty... And Applejack was never too far away.
I tried to help out, and I managed to do a little here and there. I liked cleaning up around the house, it made me feel useful... I really wish I could get back to work... Back home...
Maybe I could soon. The cuts had started to heal after all. Maybe I'd get used to this. Maybe it would all blow over...