It was a peaceful morning, which might surprise most ponies who weren't familiar with Manehattan. Just after the sun rose was the best time to find peace and quiet in the city while still enjoying the warmth of the sun. In another hour or so, the streets would be packed with pedestrians and carriages, ponies on their way to work or delivering goods to the various businesses found in this, the most sprawling metropolis in Equestria.
A lone white unicorn sat outside of Good Cup’s Cafe and Bakery, a steaming coffee cooling on the table in front of him. He was sitting with his eyes closed, humming a tune softly to himself while the breeze rustled his leaf-green mane.
The unicorn at the table showed no reaction as another unicorn stallion approached, this one charcoal grey and sporting a white-grey beard. The newcomer bounded up, displaying what some might call an inappropriate amount of enthusiasm for a pony his age.
A grin crossed the charcoal unicorn’s face when he saw that his friend was sitting quietly, apparently unaware of his new company. With a soft orange glow, his magic reached into his saddlebag and took out a neatly folded newspaper, moving it carefully until it was directly over the table. Then, with a smirk, he let his magic wink out.
The white unicorn’s horn flared a deep purple and caught the paper just before it smacked into the table. Purple eyes opened, and the white unicorn sighed.
“‘Morning, Mad Lib.”
“Aww. I thought I had you, that time!” Mad Lib shook his head. “I’ll get you one of these days, BP. And my guess for today is ‘Buttered Pecans’.”
“You’ll have to get up earlier than this, then,” BP said, his smile just a touch smug. “And sorry, that’s nowhere near right.” He moved the paper to one side of the table and gestured at the chair opposite him, which Mad gratefully sunk into.
“Eh, I’ll figure out what your initials mean eventually, BP.” Mad shrugged and grinned. “Of course, that guess may have been influenced by my lack of breakfast so far.”
“Order something, then,” BP said as he returned to his coffee.
“You’ll want to read that paper, BP,” Mad said as he signaled the server with a raised hoof. The mare nodded and began to make her way over.
“Oh?” BP picked the paper up in his magic once again and began reading it. “Anything new?”
“Very much so. Some cub reporter by the name of Typeset actually went to Ponyville.”
That got BP’s attention. “Somepony went there? I thought the Princesses said Ponyville was off-limits to non-local reporters.”
“Not exactly,” Mad said to BP. Then, to the server, he said, “Coffee, three sugars and no cream, okay? And… do you have any fresh crullers?”
“We sure do!” the mare said.
“I’ll have a couple of those, then. Thank you kindly.” Mad looked back around at his friend in time to see that BP had a look of irritation on his face. “What?”
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”
“They didn’t forbid us, so much as just ‘asked nicely’.” Mad shrugged. “It’s most clear Celestia just wants the Element Bearers to live as peaceful a life as possible.” He chuckled. “You know, outside of the occasional world-ending threat. But it’s not like they’re going to chuck us into prison if we go to Ponyville for news. Well, maybe you, but not the rest of us, hah. Oh, thank you, Miss.” The returning server put a cup of coffee down in front of him, along with a plate holding his crullers.
The mare smiled. “Anything else I can get you two?” When the two stallions indicated that they were fine, she nodded and added, “Just flag me down if you need anything,” before trotting off.
“What a sweet mare,” Mad said, watching as she left.
“And half your age, you old goat,” BP pointed out distractedly as he read the front page story. A few minutes later, he grunted and pushed the paper away. “Sunflower, eh? That’s the human.”
“What human?” a third voice asked.
The newcomer was a tan unicorn with a teal mane and ready smile. He trotted up to the table and helped himself to one of the two remaining empty chairs.
“Hey, Spotty,” BP said at the same time Mad said, “Hiya, Tomes.”
“Hey, BP,” Spotty Tomes said. “Hey, Mad. I see you still haven’t decided to chop off that ridiculous muzzle-moss.”
“It keeps my chin warm,” Mad said defensively. He waggled his eyebrows and added, “Also, it’s devilishly handsome. In any case, we were just talking about a news report from Ponyville. Apparently, some young cub reporter decided to go check out the rumor that a certain human-turned-pony was living there again.”
“Oh, wow!” Spotty leaned over, trying to see the paper next to BP’s forehooves. “Is she?”
“Indeed. And apparently she’s got wings and a horn, this time.” Mad snorted and flicked his tail. “Though, everypony there is quick to say that she’s not a real alicorn. More human trickery.”
“Well, that makes sense,” BP said, passing the paper over to Spotty Tomes. “I don’t know all the specifics of what is and is not an alicorn, but I doubt you could just build one in a lab. A human lab, at that.”
Mad stared off. “How can you be sure, though?” he asked.
BP shrugged. “I can’t. Just a gut feeling.”
“Well put, sir. Very scientific, as you would no doubt say,” Mad replied, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, just because I’m a science reporter doesn’t mean I can’t have gut feelings,” BP nodded at his cutie mark, an Erlenmeyer flask crossed with a quill. “My intuition didn’t turn off when I got my mark.”
Before Mad could reply again, the fourth member of their little group trotted up. This one was an earth pony, a rich brown in color, with a scruffy grey mane and tail. His grey-tinged muzzle made him look older than he was, though that was just a product of his distant Trottingham ancestry.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?” the newcomer asked as he sat down in the last unoccupied chair. “Mad, did you know that you still have a wild animal attached to your face?”
“I don’t think his face-squirrel is wild anymore,” Spotty smirked.
“Does my beard really look tame to you?,” Mad asked with an exaggerated grimace that morphed into a smirk of his own. “We were just talking about the human in Ponyville, Mr. Fix.”
“Humans, huh?” Simple Fix grinned. “Fascinating creatures. I can’t wait to get my hooves on some of their technology!”
“So you can break it?” Spotty Tomes asked, giving the earth pony a good-natured elbow to the ribs.
“Hey, I fix whatever I take apart!” Simple Fix said, glancing at his cutie mark of three interlocking gears. “Though, granted, not always to its original function.”
While this was going on, BP had taken the paper back. “Look at this nonsense, though. I mean, kudos to this Typeset fellow for having the guts to go to Ponyville as a reporter, but what’s with talking to everypony but Sunflower? I mean, it’s great to know what the average pony thinks of her, but why not do a complete job by actually talking to her?”
“Maybe something happened that stopped him,” Spotty said with a shrug. “I wonder why the local reporters won’t talk about her, either.”
“I suspect the subtle hoof of one or more princesses,” BP replied.
“Can I read the story?” Simple Fix asked. “Thanks,” he added as BP set the paper in front of him.
For the next half hour, the four friends talked and passed the time. Their server made several more appearances, clearing away empty cups and bringing out fresh ones. The topics of discussion ranged all over, though they always seemed to end up touching back on the humans in some way.
For example, the separatists on Starfall Island were making waves again, campaigning to shut down contact with humans. It was a campaign that was gaining some ground, though mostly among the older ponies who disliked change.
Still, if there was one thing the four of them agreed on, it was that any real and in-depth reporting on humanity was distressingly absent.
“It’s all fluff pieces,” BP complained. “I want to know more about their technology.”
“Yeah, no kidding!” Simple Fix said.
“I’d like to know more about their literature,” Spotty Tomes said. He chuckled and indicated his mark, a spotted tome. “It’s my special talent to put together all sorts of different information, after all. I hope she brought many human books.”
“Hm… Maybe we should start up our own publication?” Mad suggested.
“Ha! That’s a good one!” Simple Fix’s smile faded after a few seconds. “You aren't kidding.”
“Not at all! Of course I want to write about the humans!” Mad grinned and flung out his forehoof dramatically. “Think about it. Humans in Equestria… and beyond!”
“Watch it, you goof!” Spotty Tomes said, ducking the out-flung hoof.
“Seriously now.” Mad stood up, placing his forehooves on the table. “Surely you’ve been dreaming about something like this since college! We’re always talking about getting back together and working on some big project. Can you think of anything bigger than this? The field is open, we’d be one of the few groups actually working on it!”
“Huh,” BP said, rubbing a hoof along his jaw. “Reporting on humans, both in and out of Equestria. I’d work the science angle, I’d suppose?”
“Yeah!” Simple Fix’s eyes lit up as his ears perked up. “You take the high-science stuff that the eggheads like, I take all the gadgets and appliances that the common pony is interested in!”
“I could work on their media,” Spotty Tomes said, warming up to the idea.
“And I’ll… uh… I suppose I’ll do everything else?” Mad said, then shrugged. “We’ll need somepony to cover the magic angle, at least. Maybe we need more reporters and staff.”
“We do,” BP said, nodding. “Probably some editors, too.” He snorted at that. “Unless you want to try editing each others’ articles and stories again?”
“Ugh, no thanks!” Spotty Tomes said, shuddering. “That didn’t work out so well, last time.”
“Took me a week to get the smell of wood smoke out of my mane,” Simple Fix added.
“Well, we are missing the fifth member of our little club,” Mad pointed out. “Sure, he moved all the way to Las Pegasus, but he might be willing to come back for this.”
“Hmm…” BP thought about it before nodding. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try to contact him and see if he’s in. He’s a damned fine editor.”
“So, what do we call ourselves?” Simple Fix asked. The others looked at him and he shrugged. “Hey, it’s a fair question.”
“Well, how about… Human Investigators?” Spotty grimaced as he probed the name.
“What about ‘The Earth Post’?” BP suggested.
“‘News of Two Worlds’?” was Mad’s contribution.
“‘Harmonics Journal’?” Simple Fix added.
“Happy Fun Time With Humans!” The other three stared at Mad Lib. “What?”
“How about ‘The Crossworlds Journal’?” Spotty Tomes suggested.
“Sounds too much like ‘crosswords’, but you may be onto something there,” BP said. “I like ‘Journal’, makes it sound like we’re serious about what we’re doing.”
“Maybe we can do something that relates to humans specifically?” Mad Lib suggested.
“That would be a good idea,” Spotty Tomes said. “Like what?”
“Well… Uh…” Mad Lib considered something. “They’re bipeds? They wear clothes all the time?”
“Neither of those seem like a good idea for a title,” Simple Fix said with a shrug. “Besides, I think we need to have something that has humans and ponies together.”
“Humans have hands, and ponies have hooves,” their waitress said as she refilled their various coffees and teas. “How about ‘Hoofinhand Journal’?”
The four friends looked at each other, startled, before the chuckle started up. Four cups raised in unison, three lifted by magic and one by hoof, in a spontaneous toast.
“The Hoofinhand Journal!” they said together.