//------------------------------// // Revelations: 12 // Story: The Human Condition // by Gilded Tome //------------------------------// A few hours after Spike had left, Andrew stood outside the wooden door of the Golden Oaks Library, having just knocked. “Come on in, no need to knock.” He heard a familiar voice say from inside. He opened the door, walking into the now familiar main room. Twilight Sparkle sat in off in one corner, a few small piles of books around her. She seemed intent on the one she had open before her. “I don’t understand why everyone insists on knocking, I mean it’s a public library.” She said, never moving her eyes from her book. “Because it’s also your home, which makes it kinda awkward to just walk into.” He explained to her, leaning on one of the book shelves. “Oh, Andrew! Spike said you might stop by to pick up some coffee beans. Gimme a minute and I’ll go get them.” she said, standing from her small pile of books, knocking over one as she did. The fallen book caught Andrew’s eye and he walked over to pick it up, turning it over in his hand. The title Intricacies of Teleportation: Long Distances and Complex Objects was inscribed on the cover, inlayed with gold leaf. He looked down at the other books in Twilight’s pile, noticing that they are all on teleportation. “Alright, well here you go...” Twilight said as she returned, levitating a bag of coffee beans to Andrew. “Spike also said something about a house warming party?” “Yeah, kinda. Part house warming and part thank you to you guys for helping me so much the past few days.” “Wow Andrew, you don’t need to do that…” Twilight began before being waved off by Andrew. “It’s ok, it’ll be fun. I just need to tell Applejack, Fluttershy and everyone else when to come over, assuming that they can.” “I’m pretty sure everyone is free tonight.” She said, tapping her chin in thought. “And as for telling everyone, no need to worry about that. Pinkie Pie is dropping off a cook book later on today. I’ll tell her then, and she can take care of the rest. Celestia knows how she does it, but she has a thing for invitations.” “Yeah, I’ve experienced that remember?” He said, calling to mind Pinkie Pie’s cupcake invitation. “In that case, tell her it’s just you six, plus Spike and Big Mac if he feels up for it.” “Sure thing, I can’t wait.” Twilight said, before noticing the book that Andrew was holding. “I guess you noticed what I was researching huh?” “Yeah, it all seems to be about teleportation, and spike mentioned you were doing research on my… problem.” “Well of course, I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of massive spell could have brought you here from a different planet, and how to send you back!” “Right, I gathered as much…” Andrew said, trailing off as he looked at the book, as if he wanted to continue. “What is it?” Twilight asked curiously, noticing Andrew’s hesitation. “Well… you just seem to be focused on this whole other planet idea.” “Well of course I am, it’s our best theory so far… what else would I be focusing on?” She said, her confusion beginning to show. “I don’t know to be honest, I’m not a scientist or anything so I can’t really say what you should be focusing on, but… I don’t think me being from another planet fits all the evidence?” He said, clearly unsure of himself. Twilight looked at the human with a raised eyebrow, unable to parse what he was implying. Andrew noticed this and frowned. “You mean you haven’t noticed?” He asked, his own eyebrows raising in surprise. “Noticed what?” Instead of answering Andrew gave a short laugh, shaking his head. “You seriously haven’t caught on to it? That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.” He said lightly as he laughed. “I just hope the people… erm ponies Princess Celestia and Luna have on this have realized it at least.” “Realized what Andrew?” Twilight asked, confusion beginning to mix with a small amount of annoyance. “Twilight, this is a book.” He said as he held it up and pointed at it. Silence fell over the duo, as Andrew let his friend absorb the “revelation”, while Twilight waited, clearly thinking that Andrew was going to elaborate. When he didn’t, her confusion only grew. “…Yes, that is a book.” She said hesitantly. “I don’t really see how that…” “No no no, listen to what I’m saying. This… is a book” He heavily enunciated the word “book”, before opening it up and pointing to the words in it. “and these are words.” Twilight’s eyes followed Andrew’s pointing, clearly very confused and beginning to get worried about Andrew’s nonsense. “Andrew, are you feeling okay?” She asked. “Yeah I’m fine, you’re just not thinking far enough outside the box. Actually… maybe that’s not the problem. Maybe you’re already thinking too far outside the box, missing the simple detail that is literally staring you in the face as we speak.” “Andrew, clearly I am missing something, so could you please explain it to me.” Twilight was beginning to get annoyed again, she didn’t like the idea of new knowledge being dangled in front of her face. “Okay fine. This… is a book. B-O-O-K- book… but that’s not what’s important.” Andrew said dramatically, holding the book up. “What is important is that two different creatures who have never before interacted with each other, both call it that.” For a moment Twilight didn’t register what Andrew had said. Then her jaw dropped, and her face went slack. She continued to stare at Andrew, but when he moved, her gaze did not follow him. “This is a chair, that’s a table, and that’s an apple.” Andrew explained further, pointing to random things in the room. “But the crazy thing isn’t just that we call them the same thing, but that they are also actually the same thing. An apple still tastes like an apple. Hell, you even prepare them in the same ways.” “Sweet Celestia, Andrew this changes everything!” She shouted, rushing up to him and looking at him intently. “How are you speaking Equestrian?!” “No, Twilight I think you’re missing the point again. I’m not speaking Equestrian, I’m speaking English. All of this stuff exists in my world, right down to the names of your cities, minus the horse puns. I mean I have no idea what it means but doesn’t that kind of disprove me simply being on another planet?” Andrew paused in his explanation when he realized Twilight was standing stock still, her mouth agape. He waved his hand in front of her face, with no reaction. “Uh Twilight? You getting any of th-” Andrew was cut off as Twilight disappeared in a puff of purple magic. “Uhhh… I guess you did?” Seconds later, Twilight reappeared in another puff, plus an extra dragon. Spike stood next to her, leaning over with his mouth open wide, as if he was about to take a large bite out of something. Realizing he was no longer in the same place he opened his eyes, arms dropping to his sides as he moaned in annoyance. “Oh come on Twilight! I was just about to eat a gem Rarity gave me! What was so important that-” He began to complain, before Twilight interrupted him by pushing a quill and a roll of parchment into his hands. “Spike this is extremely important, I need to send a letter to Princess Celestia immediately!” To Spikes credit, he quickly stood at attention, wielding the quill with practiced ease, preparing to copy down Twilight’s every word. The only hint of annoyance was the quiet muttering of “could have brought the gem with us…” “Ready?” Twilight asked Spike, waiting until he was ready to start talking. “Dear Princess Celestia. I have very important news concerning Equestria’s newest arrival, our new friend Andrew. While having a conversation about my research on how he arrived here, he brought something to my attention that I believe no one but he realized. At least not well enough to understand its possible importance. All this time, I believed him to be speaking Equestrian, when he is in fact speaking ‘English’.” Twilight paused to mime air quotes with one hoof before continuing. “Barring some slang words that seem to be different, this language that he is speaking is identical to our own. But what is even more shocking is that the words in our languages are describing the same things. His word for apple appears to describe the same fruit as our word, and his word for chair describes the same piece of furniture as ours. The more I think about it, the more I find it astounding that I did not recognize it sooner, or that no one else did either. His ability to interact and accurately name the things around him should not be possible, and yet he does it consistently. From recognizing a train to the point of predicting the need for a ticket, to an understanding of local food and fauna that rivals a full time resident’s. He demonstrates knowledge that a creature that is simply from another planet, no matter how intelligent and observant they may be, should not have. My first thought was that he is using some sort of advance translation spell, but then I remembered the magical scans and probes I preformed soon after he first arrived here.” Twilight paused for a long moment, pacing around the room, mumbling to herself as she went. Spike quickly caught up with her dictation, and he patiently waited for her to continue. She seemed to be pondering what she was about to say. Andrew moved to say something, but Spike quickly caught his eye, waving him off. “Andrew himself admits he lacks the understanding to actually know what this means… and I am annoyed to say that I am in the same boat as him.” Twilight continued, her pacing continuing as she dictates. “I am truly baffled as to what this new information tells us, though I can firmly say that our previous theory, that he was somehow teleported through space from another planet, is looking severely unlikely. Something else is going on, potentially something even more impressive that trans-planet teleportation. If you have any theories that fit this discovery please let me know, I am truly lost trying to explain it. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle” Spike finished his writing, quill dancing over the parchment until he caught up, signing it in Twilights name with a flourish. After a quick once over he passed the parchment to Twilight, who spent a minute or so double checking it for errors, before making her way a desk and stamping it with a wax seal. This whole process was done at a panicked pace, Twilight rushing about. The hurried mare handed the rolled parchment back to Spike, who took a deep breath. “So how are you gonna get it to the princesses, you seem pretty- HOLY SHIT FIRE!” Andrew began to ask, only to shout loudly and jump as Spike let out his breath, spraying green fire onto the parchment, which was immediately burnt to a cinder. “What the fuck was that dude?! Why the hell did you burn it?” “I didn’t. Well I did actually, but it’s not that simple…” The green and purple dragon said before halting his explanation, instead only shrugging. “uhh… Magic?” “Seriously Spike? You too?” Andrew said crossly and with a fair extra bit of volume as he came down from his surprise. “Why you gotta be like that?” Ignoring his question Twilight turned sharply around and began putting away the pile of books she had been studying from. Andrew waited a moment before speaking up. “So putting aside the scary green dragon fire that I’m assuming didn’t just burn your letter…. What’s gonna happen now?” Andrew asked Twilight. “I don’t know. Our primary theory that you are an extraterrestrial is assuredly out the window now. Other than that… I just don’t know.” She explained, before adding. “And he didn’t burn it, he sent it to Princess Celestia.” “Really? You don’t have a follow up theory or anything like that? Don’t scientists like… usually have one?” “Despite what my friends might think I’m not really a scientist, I’m a mage. While they do cross over quite a bit, and I do love learning and science, my field of study is the arcane arts. But more importantly, like I said in the letter, I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t even know where I would begin to research.” “Oh… well that sucks…I guess.” “It’s certainly not a step forward. That being said, any progress we would have made would have been useless if we hadn’t found this out now.” Twilight said as she slid the last book into place, chewing her lip as she thought. “So what do you think Princess Celestia will do about it?” He asked. “I don’t know, hopefully she does have a back-up theory.” Twilight replied hopefully. “Barring that, she may be able to find someone who does have a way to explain how a species from a different planet could possibly have so much in common with us.” “Huh… now I feel kinda bad about raining on your… research parade.” Andrew said, scratching the back of his neck with an awkward laugh. “It’s ok, really.” Twilight assured him. “I just wish we had known this sooner, I could have discussed this with Princess Celestia in person…” “Well Luna will be here in a few days, you can talk to her then?” “Yeah… It’s really not the same thing.” Twilight said absentmindedly, before looking back to Andrew with wide eyes. “Not that there is anything wrong with Princess Luna!” Andrew felt oddly inclined to defend Luna, but he bit his tongue. Instead he looked at Twilight with an arched eyebrow and waited for her to continue. “Princess Luna is great, and a good friend. But…” Twilight paused before continuing, chewing her words to keep from digging her hole any deeper. “Princess Celestia is like a second mother to me. When I was younger I spent just as much time in the castle training with the Princess as I did at home.” “So chatting about magic and whatever is like nostalgic?” Andrew asked. “Yeah there’s that… and she knows just how to prod me to the right answer without making me feel like she helped me figure it out.” “Assuming of course she knows the answer to begin with.” Andrew added. “She seemed just as lost as you were.” “Yeah… That’s more unnerving than anything else that has happened so far.” Twilight admitted. “She has always been the one with all the answers. But now…” “It’s always hard when idols fall off their pedestals.” Andrew said simply, walking over to Twilight to pat her back. “Unfortunately no one can have all the answers. You-.” Before Andrew could say anything else, Spike let out a burp behind him. Andrew turned around to find that the dragon was holding another scroll, marked with a golden seal shaped like the sun. “Twilight, the princess responded!” Spike shouted to get Twilights attention. “Seriously? That was fast…” Andrew remarked. “We got lucky, she must have been in her office!” She said excitedly, making her way to him, Andrew following behind. Twilight grasped the letter with her magic, levitating it over to herself. She popped the seal and unrolled the scroll. She cleared her throat before beginning to read. “Dear Twilight Sparkle. This is indeed a surprising revelation, one that will change our theories greatly. I am extremely shocked that no one, my sister and I included, noticed this enigma. So, while my sister and I are quite busy today, I will send word to several of our brightest minds, yourself excluded, with directions to come to Canterlot for a brain storming session of sorts, in an attempt figure out what this could possibly mean. I have high hopes that we will have a strong theory by the end of tomorrow, the day after at the latest. In the meantime, I suggest you focus on making sure Andrew is settled in and well adjusted. I shall contact you if we ourselves have any further revelations. Until then, best wishes. With love, Princess Celestia.” “Well…” Andrew said after a moment or two of pause. “Looks like you really have tonight off now.” “Twilight, I get it. You don’t like being out of the loop.” Andrew said, overriding the complaint Twilight had repeated for what felt like the thousandths time. “But I asked you to help me shopping because I figured it would help you get over it, not so I could listen to you bitch about it for an hour.” Twilight, whose mouth was hung open from Andrew’s abrupt interruption, sighed and looked down in consternation. “It hasn’t been an hour yet…” She said. “I know, but if I hadn’t cut you off now you would have gotten there eventually, right?” Andrew challenged, continuing when she didn’t argue. “Exactly. Now, can we get back to shopping?” “Yeah, I guess…” Twilight agreed, still dejected from Andrew’s admonishment. “There is a store over here that always has fresh produce. What do you need anyway?” “Uh… well for tonight I need a couple of onions, cheese, some green peppers and maybe some black olives to start. It depends on what’s there and what I feel like.” Andrew said, rubbing his chin as he followed Twilight. “I should also get some stuff for myself. Maybe some tofu if they have it…” “They usually do…” Twilight said as she turned the corner and pushed the door of the shop open. “But would it kill you to make a list next time?” “Probably” He said as he stopped to examine the storefront. It was quaint, just like everything else in Ponyville, with a feel just like every other mom and pop place he had ever seen. A sign with the words “Finders Fresh Food” hung over the door, Andrew had to resist the urge to jump and tap it. Instead he walked into the cool store, the door quietly squeaking as he opened it. The room was filled with rows and rows of food. The dry goods were stacked on shelves in the back, visible over the much lower produce displays, which were up to Andrew’s waist. Ponies stared at the human over the vegetables and fruit filled crates, and he stared back, wincing slightly as the door creaked shut, sounding much louder than when he had opened. With a sigh he shook his head, grabbed a basket from beside the door, and turned to find Twilight. He caught up to her as she walked through the store. She was shaking her head in annoyance. “We really need to do something about all the staring.” She said, her annoyance replacing her earlier downtrodden mood. “This is getting ridiculous.” “It’s getting better I think.” Andrew said with a shrug. “Nobody is diving to protect their kids anymore, so that’s a plus.” “Don’t joke, this is not okay” Twilight responded, failing to hold back her smile. “We will go visit the mayor tomorrow and see if she has come up with anything to help.” “Sounds like a plan I guess… maybe she will know where I can get a job as well, I’m uncomfortable enough using this money, never mind not being able to paying it back.” Andrew patted his pocket for emphasis, the jingle of a few bits making Twilights ears twitch. He began to walk from display to display, inspecting various fruits and vegetables, placing the ones he wanted in the basket. He brought a few oranges to his nose, smelling them before adding them to his growing collection. Twilight followed the human around, watching him test the freshness of various fruits and vegetables. "You guys have amazingly fresh food, this stuff puts the food I’m used to too shame.” Andrew said, after resisting the urge to take a bite of a pear. “And you seem to know just how to tell how fresh it is.” Twilight observed. “Yeah… I’ve worked at a grocery store for the past two years, among second jobs. You learn a thing or two if you pay attention.” He explained with a smile, moving along to the dry goods aisles. “That and bouncing around in foster care exposes you to a lot. Some of its even good things. I’m kinda a jack of all trades, master of none at this point.” “That must come in handy…” Twilight said, following behind him. “It does, it can be a big self-esteem boost too.” He replied. “How’s that?” “Well…” Andrew thought for a moment, pausing while holding two jars of olives. “When you break something around your house, you have to call a repair man. I spent a year living with a carpenter’s family, working with the father to make spending money. I can fix anything that doesn’t involve electricity. You know, within reason.” He put the larger can of black olives into his basket, and followed the cool air to a set of ice filled containers. “Not having to rely on a repair man is a nice feeling, makes you feel very independent. Cheaper too.” He explained as he fished out a formidable block of cheese from the ice, reading the label with squinted eyes. “That certainly does sound useful.” Twilight agreed, making small talk. “Maybe you can take a look at one of the doors at home, it’s been getting stuck.” “Oh, that’s an easy one. If it’s a wooden door then it’s just the humidity. The wood absorbs the moisture in the air it and expands in the door jam.” “Huh… that makes since. It has been really humid lately.” The two continued to make comfortable small talk as Andrew finished his shopping and made his way to the cashier, waiting behind the few ponies already in line. He got quite a few stares, but it seemed to be petering out by the time the two were face to face with the cashier. It was an older stallion, crow’s feet marking his eyes. “Well hello there, never seen anypony like you before…” The stallion said, as Andrew put his full basket on the counter. “Yeah, I’m kinda new here…” Andrew explained, not sure what else to say. The aging stallion simply nodded, taking each item out and tapping on the brass register, before putting them into a cloth bag. Twilight and Andrew looked to each other, and shrugged, surprised that the old man was treating Andrew so normally. “That will be forty six bits.” He said after he had finished packing Andrews food. Andrew handed the old stallion a gold coin, which he happily accepted. He counted out five silver coins and four copper ones, before closing the register with a loud “ka-ching”. He handed Andrew the change, then slid the bag over the counter, which Andrew picked up by the handle. “You have a nice day stranger, you as well Twilight!” the old pony said happily, waving as the two walked away. “That was a nice change of pace.” Twilight said with a smile as the exited the grocery store. “I’m glad that at least Old Finder was nice enough not to treat you differently.” “He definitely earned a lifetime customer.” Andrew said with a smile. “I’m gonna head straight back home no, I have some prep work to do before tonight.” “Oh, alright. I need to get back to the library anyway, Pinkie will be there soon.” “So see you guys tonight?” “Yup! See you later!” Andrew stood for a moment as Twilight trotted away, waving to her until she turned the corner. With a content sigh he turned to the opposite direction, pulled a pear out of his bag, and started the walk home. Quite a few hours later, Andrew's new home smelled like melted cheese and rising dough. He had spent several hours preparing the food, dicing toppings and kneading several clumps of dough. Now three bowls of that dough sat on the counter, while the ovens were slowly cooking two cookie sheets full of cheesy, doughy goodness. He had spent nearly as much time cleaning the kitchen back to its spotless splendor as he had preparing the food itself. The counters had been covered in flour and chunks of sticky dough, and his clothes hadn't faired any better. They were covered in flour as well as several spilt ingredients, a large oil stain the most prominent of the messes. After he had turned the ovens off, leaving it closed to slowly finish the cooking, as well as to keep the pizza's piping hot, he went upstairs to get himself clean. A quick shower later, he stood staring at his bed, where he had thrown his clothes before getting into the shower. In all the excitement of getting ready he had forgotten that these were the only clothes he had. They were completely soiled, sweaty from the cleaning and dirty from the cooking. With a depressed sigh he put them back on, and went down stairs to check on the pizzas and wait for his guests. Not fifteen minutes later he heard a knock on the door, and he hurried to answer it. A familiar alabaster pony stood on the other side, a neatly tied parcel balanced on her back. "Rarity, hey!" Andrew's said, slightly surprised. "Welcome, come on in!" "Why thank you darling, I hope I'm not too early?" She asked, entering into the front hall. "No no, I never really had a set time." He assured her. "Though to be honest I assumed you would be the last to get here. You know, like fashionably late." Rarity gave a dazzling laugh, which spread to Andrew's smile infectiously. "I must admit dear that normally I would be, though never on purpose." She admitted, looking slightly abashed. "But today I had a special purpose. To deliver this!" She levitated the parcel from her back over to Andrew now outstretched hand. He held the parcel, weighing it in an attempt to figure out what it was. "When Pinkie Pie stopped by with the invitation, it occurred to me you would need a new outfit." She explained, answering Andrews’s unasked question. "I admit I don't know human customs, but I’d think that wearing an outfit for several day in a row would seem questionable at best." "And you'd be one hundred percent right." Andrew said, swallowing his nervousness about wearing Rarity's clothes. "I definitely need something to wear other than this." Andrew pulled at his shirt, showing off the stains and discolorations he had gathered while cooking and cleaning. Rarity cringed as she noticed all of them. "Well.... make yourself at home, I'll go get changed..." Andrew said as he gestured to the living room. "Of course! And do hurry back, I'm excited to see how my creations turned out with a proper model!" Andrew smiled and turned to climb the stairs. He tugged at the twine that held the parcel shut, wondering if had been right to trust Rarity with his clothes. From what he had seen her talent lay in jewels and... being fabulous. Andrew supposed there was a time and place for that, but he couldn't see himself ever being in that place. "Guess I really didn't have much of a choice..." he mumbled to himself as he closed his bedroom door behind him and pulled out the clothes. The cloth was extremely fine and soft as he rubbed it with his fingers, but seemed to be a relatively un-extravagant material. It was a maroon color, dark but not to dark. Andrew found himself nodding his head appreciatively as he unfolded the shirt. It was a relatively simple design, no jewels or fancy frills. The stitching was invisible, and the buttons that went up the chest matched the fabric well. If a pony hadn't just handed it to him he would have been hard pressed to distinguish it from any of his old clothes. The shorts were a similar story. The cloth was slightly thicker, which he assumed meant tougher. It had pockets in the same place that his other shorts did, two on each leg. It came with a simple loop belt around it, complete with belt loops to attach it to. She even included some boxer like underwear. "Wow, how the hell did she do this…?" he asked no one in particular as he pulled off his dirty clothes, and hurriedly pulled on the new ones. He headed to the bathroom down the hall, so he could see how he looked. He had to admit, they looked good on him. The angles of the collar were perfect, and he wondered how she had gotten those right. He patted down the shirt feeling the fine cloth and its utter lack of uncomfortable stitching or tags. He tightened the belt and smiled, leaving the bathroom behind and heading back down stairs. When he reached the top of the stairs he was surprised to see Twilight and Spike standing in the hall, chatting with Rarity. Spike noticed him standing there and waved. "Hey Andrew! Liking your new clothes?" He asked, as Rarity and Twilight turned to look at him. "Yeah, they're amazing!" He said happily, walking down the stairs to join them. "Rarity is a miracle worker, she got everything perfect!" "Oh I am so glad to hear that Andrew, I was fretting for hours on the neckline cut!" She said. "Are you sure it's not too tight?" "No, it’s perfect, not to loose and not too tight." He assured her, running his fingers over the collar again. "Really, I've worn way less comfortable things made by other humans. Thank you so much." "You're very welcome darling, I enjoyed the opportunity to work on something completely new." She said, her smile dazzling them, especially Spike, who practically fell over. "Now, enough about my work, we were just discussing what you could have made that could be creating this amazing aroma!" "Oh, I just made some pizza, nothing major." Andrew explained with a shrug. "To be completely honest, it’s all I can really cook. Other than this I could pretty much burn water." "Don't feel bad dude, Twilight is the same way, only she can’t cook anything. I’ve literally seen her burn cereal" Spike said. "But uhh... what’s pizza?" Andrew laughed a bit, before noticing that Spike was completely serious, and that both Rarity and Twilight bore the same expressions. He stared at them, mouth agape, his brain momentarily stuck in neutral. "You guys have never heard of pizza?" He asked clearly, not believing them. "No, I can’t say I have ever heard of it." Rarity admitted, looking to Twilight and Spike, the latter who shrugged in agreement. "Sorry Andrew, I've never read about it either" Twilight apologized. "What is it?" "Of all the things not to have here…" Andrew said, shaking his head as he gestured to kitchen. "You girls are gonna love this.” Andrew led the three into the kitchen and stood in front of the stove. With a flourish he opened the door, heat and the aroma of melted cheese and tomato sauce flooded out. He grabbed a nearby towel and pulled the trays out, one by one placing the two cooked pizzas on the nearby stove top. He pulled a knife from a nearby knife block, and began slicing it into squares. He struggled a bit, trying to keep the lines straight. "This part is much easier with pizza scissors." He explained, finally finishing with the cutting. "Then you take a slice like this..." Andrew pulled a still steaming slice of pizza onto a plate, licking the burning sauce off his fingers as he put the plate down. "On second thought, we should wait until it cools off for a while” He said, wincing a bit. “I got a bit excited..." Twilight was about to say something, probably sarcastically, when the doorbell rang. He hurried to answer the door, finding Applejack and Big Mac standing on the other side. Big Mac was balancing a large barrel on his back. "Hey guys, glad you could come…” Andrew said, eyes drawn the barrel. “How the hell did you balance that all the way here?” “Practice.” Big Mac said simply, letting the barrel fall off his back, somehow getting it to slide down his leg so that it landed gently. “It’s ah small barrel of our famous apple cider!” Applejack explained happily. “First one of this season too! Figured it would make ah good house warmin’ present.” “No shit…” Andrew said under his breath as he walked to the barrel an examined it. “Why does it look like its straight out of a distillery?” “Cause it is. Well… it will be.” Applejack explained. “We re-use the barrels to make hard apple whiskey later in the year.” “Damn… I’m glad you didn’t bring a barrel of that.” Andrew said jokingly. “… it would have been an entirely different kind of party.” “Eyup” Big Mac agreed, pushing the barrel into the house past Andrew. “You know what…” Andrew started as he followed his new guests inside. “Maybe we could crack it open tonight? I just realized I never got stuff for everyone to drink…” “I reckon that’s fine by me, iffen ya don’t mind sharin’ your gift” “Of course not, I couldn’t drink that much cider by myself anyway” He assured them as he cut ahead of the two siblings, guiding them into the kitchen. “Least not before it went bad.” "Why don't we put it up here?" He suggested, tapping the counter top that looked over the dinning room. "Just pass it here." Andrew attempted to take the barrel and lift it, heaving and straining at it, only managing to budge it slightly, its contents sloshing inside. "Whoa... That's heavier than it looks." He remarked, nursing his back dramatically. "Oh don't be a foal, it's not that heavy" Applejack replied, lifting the barrel with her hooves with seeming ease. "See, light as a feather." Andrew shook his head in shock, muttering under his breath. He continued muttering as he turned around, opening a cabinet and pulling out several mugs, making a few trips back and forth from the cabinet. Big Mac had begun to fiddle with the tap, attempting to line up the mallet and tap he had brought with him. Applejack was nowhere to be seen. "Here let me give it a try." Andrew volunteered, putting the cups down and grabbing the spout and the mallet. Andrew tapped the spout a few times, loosening the seal of the prepared hole, before slamming the mallet against the tap, knocking it almost the whole way in, sealing the tap with minimum spray. He wiped up what cider did leak out, before handing the mallet back to Big Mac. "Thanks" the farmer said simply, going off to put the mallet by the door so he wouldn't forget it on the way out. "Alright Mac, let's get that spout-" Applejack said, stopping when she saw the tap already in. "Wow, he's a'ready done?" "I did it for him" Andrew replied as he tested the pizza to see if it had cooled. “How did you do it so fast? And with no mess?” Applejack asked, impressed. “It usually takes both of us to do that.” “I worked as a bartender for a few months when I was living in New York.” He explained. “Plus opposable thumbs help.” He picked up the trays of pizza and carried them into the dining room, placing them on the table. Rarity, Twilight and Spike had all sat down, shortly joined by Applejack, who sat down next to Twilight. Big Mac took the seat across from them next to Spike, who was happily sitting next to Rarity. “Okay… The pizzas are almost ready to eat…” Andrew announced. “Let me go throw the next two in and then we can dig in.” “What about Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, trying her hardest to look polite and composed through her hungry eyes. “Flutters and Rainbow Dash are on their way!” Pinkie Pie said happily, as she took a big sniff of the pizza nearest her, ignoring the startled looks of the others. “Hey Pinkie Pie.” Andrew greeted nonchalantly as he continued to walk into the kitchen, talking over the peninsula. “Thanks for telling everyone about the party.” “Aww! Why didn’t you jump?” She asked, in a slightly whining voice, a smile still clear on her face. “It’s much more fun when you jump and yell!” “I saw you outside peeking in through the back window” Andrew explained, pulling out two more baking pans, and plopping dough on each one. “A big puff of pink is hard to miss next to a green bush.” “Wait, you were trying to scare him again?!” Twilight asked. “I thought you understood that was a bad idea!?” “I wasn’t trying to scare him!” Pinkie Pie assured Twilight. “I was just a distraction.” “A distraction for what dear?” Rarity asked after her and Twilight shared an exasperated look. Suddenly one of the windows in the kitchen was flung open, a blur bursting into the room. Andrew jumped and yelled, wielding a tomato sauce covered spoon in a valiant attempt to defend himself from whatever vile creature had just busted into his kitchen. Meanwhile Pinkie Pie fell off her seat, laughing hysterically. “I SMELL APPLE CIDER!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she untangled herself from the curtains she had flown into, immediately running over to the barrel and pouring herself a glass. Just before Rainbow Dash could take a sip, the glass was surrounded by a light blue aura and floated away from her hooves. “Hey! Give that back!” The prismatic pony shouted. “As soon as you apologize to Andrew, and fix those wonderful curtains!” Rarity instructed, hovering the glass to the table. “Honestly, what did either of them do to deserve such treatment?” Rainbow Dash looked back at the mess she made, including at Andrew, who was leaning against the counter rubbing his face. “Haha… Oops?” Rainbow Dash said, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. “Sorry about that…” “Jesus Christ… What the hell was that for?” Andrew said when he finally recovered. “Well…every year I miss Applejack’s apple cider!” Rainbow dash whined. “It’s so good and I hardly ever get any!” “So you bust through the window and scare the shit out of me?” Andrew asked incredulously. “Yeah… maybe wasn’t the best idea…” Rainbow Dash admitted, a bit skittishly, taking the long route around the counter to the window. “I’m sorry.” “Is anything broken?” He asked with a sigh as she shut the window and rehung the curtains. “No, not that I can tell at least.” “Well then go sit down Spaz, we will all eat when I’m done with this.” He explained as he motioned to the half prepared pizza. Rainbow Dash nodded and headed to the dining room, with Fluttershy right behind her. The yellow pony had come through the front door while they had been talking, looking worried. Andrew threw the finishing touches on the last two pizzas, muttering and shaking his head. He shut the oven a little harder than necessary and went to the cider keg to fill up seven glasses. He carried them to the dining hall, joining his friends. “Umm… sorry I didn’t stop Rainbow Dash from crashing into your window Andrew.” Fluttershy quietly apologized from her seat next to Big Mac. “I couldn’t catch up to her when she flew off.” “Don’t worry about it Fluttershy, it wasn’t your fault.” He assured her. “It’s no big deal anyway, I’m just glad I didn’t use magic again. Too many sharp and heavy things in the kitchen for me to do something unintentional.” Rainbow Dash gulped and looked worriedly from the knife block that sat in the corner of the kitchen, to the pans that hung above the stove top. “Anyway…” Andrew said, punctuated by a single clap. “It’s time to eat!” The group dug in, levitating, grabbing and passing square slices of pizza and glasses of cider around until everyone had one. They all sniffed and poked at the pizza, while Andrew immediately took a large bite of his slice, moaning in edible ecstasy. “I swear I was craving pizza before I even got here. I already miss being able to order it whenever I want.” He said after swallowing his large chunk, before noticing that no one had taken a bite yet. “C’mon guys, just try it.” Big mac was the first to pony up, taking a bite of his slice. He chewed carefully before his eyes went wide. He immediately took an even larger bite, chewing it enthusiastically. The group collectively shrugged, everyone finally tasting the cheesy food. “My word… Andrew this is absolutely delicious!” Rarity exclaimed, as she dabbed her face with a napkin. “I cannot believe I have never had this dish before.” “It’s no apple pie, but it’s mighty tasty.” Applejack agreed, taking another bite. “I really like the olives” Fluttershy said quietly. “And the mushrooms.” “Olives and mushrooms huh?” Twilight said curiously. “Maybe I’ll try that one next!” Words of praise and groans of enjoyment flowing through the dining room, Andrew trying to stay modest among them. “It isn’t that good, it’s a solid five or six on the pizza scale back home.” He admitted. “Definitely nothing special.” “Hush Andrew, this is a meal to be proud of!” Rarity assured him, everyone nodding in agreement. “Where did you learn to cook like this?” “Well it’s kind of a long story…” He said a bit worriedly. “Not a very happy story either.” “Well we ain’t goin’ anywhere!” Applejack shouted. “What goods a group meal if you can’t tell a story or two anyway?” “It’s okay Andrew.” Twilight added, a bit more seriously. “We can handle it I’m sure.” “Well alright, but I warned you.” Andrew looked at their curious faces and sighed. “My mother died when I was fifteen, so my sister and I were in foster care from then until I was eighteen. We stayed with a bunch of people, all over the country.” The mood took a turn towards somber, but Andrew quickly waved it off, but not before noticing the look shared by Big Mac and Applejack. “Don’t worry, it was ten years ago. It’s sad yeah but I’ve had a lot of time to heal from it. Besides, this story isn’t about that. I just wanted to explain why I was in foster care.” Andrew explained before continuing. “The first foster home we stayed at didn’t last long. I was lashing out from grief and my sister withdrew so far into herself she hardly responded to anything, or anyone. They couldn’t handle us, so we got shipped away. But the second one, we stayed there for eight months. It was this sweet old Italian lady who cooked the best damn pizza I have ever had. She cooked them with love and empathy and so many good feelings. Our first bite and my sister and I were balling our eyes out. She just held us for an hour until we stopped crying, patted our heads and reheated our food. That house… It was the only foster home that actually felt like a home.” Andrew shook his head as old bittersweet memories danced through his head. The others respectfully waited through his pause. “One day she demanded I learn how to cook. I went along with it but my heart wasn’t in it, mostly because it would always go terribly. But she was so patient with me, trying over and over again to teach me. Eventually I gave up even trying, but she never did. Until one day my sister and I come home from school to find a police officer sitting on our front porch.” Everyone had stopped eating by this point, Rainbow Dash had even put down her glass of cider. They listened with bated breath to Andrew’s story, a worried look on most of their faces. . Twilight bit her lip as if to bite back her growing sense of dread. “Apparently old Mary had been hiding her poor health from us. She had been diagnosed with cancer about three months after we got there. My sister and I were devastated. I was lost and terrified that my sister would shrink back into herself. So, that night I snuck away from the police station and made my way back to that little ranch house. I spent five hours trying desperately to make an edible pizza. When I was finally happy with it, it was four in the morning, but I walked all the way back to the station. The child services woman found us that morning snuggled together, both of us with pizza sauce all over our faces. I’ve been steadily improving my pizza since then.” The room was very quiet for a string of long moments, until Fluttershy stood up from her seat and made her way to the human. She wrapped her hooves around him as best she could, giving him a tender hug. “T-Thanks Fluttershy.” Andrew said as he returned the hug, managing to keep almost all of the tremor from his voice. “But really, it’s ok. It happened a long time ago.” “Thank you for sharing such an important meal with us.” Big Mac said sagely, the rest of the room only managing to nod. “Your welcome, it’s a meal I happily make for new friends.” “A toast then!” Rarity said, lifting her glass high and wiping a small tear from her eye. “To new friends!” “May they fall from the sky when you least expect it!” Andrew joked, clinking glasses with everyone before taking a long drought of his drink. The group laughed, and with the tension broken a mood of happiness returned. The jovial atmosphere continued as the sun set and the night sky began to show the first stars. Rarity was the first to excuse herself, saying she needed to finish a few things at work before it got too late. Spike decided to walk Rarity home, claiming he wanted to have an early night. They were soon followed by Fluttershy who was obviously getting tired, drained by Andrew’s story and by keeping up in such a loud environment. The pizzas had long been consumed when Andrew suggested they all go outside to enjoy the cool summer night. Pinkie Pie even supplied marshmallows once the fire had been going for a while. “This sure is a fancy house Andrew.” Applejack said, looking at the back of the house over the fire pit. “I can’t even imagine livin’ in somethin’ like this.” “It’s certainly a step above what I’m used to.” He admitted. “I’m just happy one of the rooms wasn’t as decadent as the rest. A four post bed? No thank you.” “Eyup.” Big Mac said in agreement, rotating a marshmallow tipped stick over the fire. Andrew poked the fire with a branch he had found earlier, pushing the coals around absentmindedly. “So what are you guys doing tomorrow?” He asked, making small talk. “Me and Mac have to finish up summer cider makin’” Applejack said after swallowing a toasted marshmallow. “Other than waiting for Princess Celestia to get back to us, I’ll just be hanging out.” Twilight said, perking up when she thought of something. “Maybe I’ll stop by and give you a hand Applejack.” “You don’t have to do that.” Applejack assured her. “But I- we would enjoy your company.” “I’d help too but I have weather patrol in the morning.” Rainbow chimed in. “Then soccer practice with the kids.” “Soccer? You guys have soccer here?” Andrew asked, curiously. “Yeah, I’ve been coaching a team this summer.” Rainbow Dash explained. “Wait, how do you know what soccer is?” “I don’t know!” Twilight answered for him, suddenly aggravated. “And it’s driving me crazy!” “Uh… What?” Rainbow Dash asked, clearly confused. “Uughh! Never mind. I need to use the little filly’s room.” Twilight said, walking off still clearly annoyed. Pinkie Pie watched attentively, as if waiting for something. She looked to Rainbow Dash, wordlessly telling her to drop her question about Twilight. “Second floor.” Andrew called out to her as she walked away, before turning back to Rainbow Dash. “So you have soccer…What about baseball?” “Uh no, never heard of that before…” Rainbow Dash admitted. “What is it?” “It’s a sport I used to play back home.” He explained. “America’s favorite past time!” “An’ how do you play?” Applejack asked, interested. “Well… there are two teams. One is up at bat, and the other is playing the field. The team that’s up at bat hits a baseball and runs around some bases, trying to avoid the other team, who is trying to tag the runner out with the ball they just hit.” All three of the ponies looked at Andrew, clearly confused by his description. “It’s a bit less confusing than it sounds, and a lot more fun.” He assured them, standing up from his chair. “I was obsessed with it when I was younger. I remember my mom dropped a pretty penny buying me a professional Marucci bat for my birthday, engraved with my name and everything.” Andrew took a batting stance, the top of the stick he was holding making small circles as he easily fell into the familiar position. “Unfortunately it was lost somewhere along the line in foster care. I must have left it at someone’s home. To be honest I can’t really remember what happened to it. It felt like suddenly one day it was gone, without a trace. But boy let me tell you, I knew that bat like the back of my own hand.” Andrew tightened his grip on the stick, closing his eyes as he envisioned being back on the field. “Maple wood, with the top half painted black. My name was etched around where the paint ended on the barrel. About a three inch sweet spot, maybe an inch from the top. If you held it so you couldn’t see my name you would have a better grip on it because of a slight curl in the grain. It was perfectly balanced if you held it an inch high.” Andrew lifted his foot, and swung the stick with all his might. It streaked through the air at an incredible speed, whistling and creaking. Half way through its ark, a red spark trailed around Andrew’s hand. The spark quickly grew into a red aura, covering the stick completely. When he finished his swing, theatrically holding the now glowing stick out in one hand, it disappeared with a loud pop. Almost instantaneously, before his fingers even had time to close around the empty air, there was another loud pop, and a baseball bat filled the void created by the disappearing stick. The three ponies looked on in shock, an emotion shared by Andrew. He stared at the bat intensely, before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed, completely and unequivocally unconscious.