//------------------------------//
// The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	Daring took off her reading glasses and leaned back from her desk.  She’d been poring over an old map for hours.
Trixie came in with a tray of tea.  She set it down and leaned close to Daring, looking at the map.  “Any luck?”
Daring leaned her head into Trixie’s shoulder.  “I think so.  The treasure might be somewhere around Griffonstone.”
“Is it enough to go on?”
“I think so.  If we leave now, though, we’ll miss the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“I’d rather be on an adventure with you than stuffed into some dress and pretending to care about dancing,” Trixie said.
Daring smiled.  “Me too.”
So they ditched their tickets and suited up.
In Daring’s expansive closet, the overhead light clicked on, theatrically illuminating her from above.  She stood upright, her khaki shirt dropping down around her shoulders.  Spreading her wings, she poked them through the holes.  She flipped her hat onto her head, and saluted.
Meanwhile, Trixie was also getting dressed in a most dramatic way.  Her cape billowed in an imaginary breeze and she ran a hoof along the length of her hat to the point, ensuring the material sat just so on her head.  She dropped a pair of sunglasses on her nose and picked up her machine gun.
The two of them emerged from their place.  The sun was shining and it was a perfect day for adventure.  It was a good thing they were feeling adventurous.  Daring ran a few feathers over Trixie’s back and winked.  Trixie grinned in return.
They took the train to the closest terminus and started their journey from there.  As the train lumbered towards their destination, they planned the rest of the trip.
Griffonstone, as Daring explained, was in Griffon Gorge, south of the Hyperborean Mountains.  It was one of the few places in Equestria where she’d never been before, but she was at least aware of the general area.
“So what are we looking for?” Trixie asked.  “The treasure?”
“The mysterious golden Idol of Boreas,” replied Daring.  “It’s said that it was made from the dust of golden sunsets, blown across the mountains by the north winds.”
“Hmm.”  Trixie nodded.  “What makes it valuable?”
“In history, possessing the Idol of Boreas filled the griffons’ hearts with pride. The history books say that the great treasure of the Idol is responsible for turning Griffonstone into the most majestic kingdom of all the land.  One of the early kings, Grover, ran the place.  A few kings later, a monster called Arimaspi tried to steal the Idol and it fell into Abysmal Abyss.”
“What’s the Idol look like?”
“It’s a stylized golden goblet.”
Trixie shook her head.  “That's it?  just a cup?  Griffons.  No sense of style.”
Daring shrugged.  “Gold’s gold, as the griffons say.”
“And what about this Arimaspi?” Trixie asked.
“Descriptions are sketchy,” Daring replied.  “Ironic, then, that pretty much all we have to go on are sketches.  He sort of looks like a cyclops goat thing with fingers.”
“Dangerous?”
“Aren't they all.”
They both shared a chuckle. Daring and Trixie took no shit, and their definition of danger was not exactly in line with everyone else's.  Valiant would be proud.
They walked into Griffonstone.  From high up in the mountains, a masked figure watched them through a high powered telescope.  That wouldn’t have surprised either Daring or Trixie, however, you as the reader should be informed for purposes of later narration.
Griffonstone was not nearly up to the standards of an average pony city.  It was sort of built in a tree and all the houses were shitty.
“Wow, all these houses are shitty,” said Trixie.
“Don’t judge a treasure by the fecal material it’s buried under,” Daring advised.
“I didn’t think you were into butt stuff,” said Trixie, eyebrow raised.
Daring blushed, but before she could reply, someone bumped into them.
“Watch it!” huffed a griffon.
Trixie had already put a hoof on her M60, but Daring stopped her.  “Glad we, ah, ran into you.  We’re looking for someone to speak to about local legends.”
“Go feather yourself,” the griffon shot back.
“Now, now, Gilda, don’t rush them off just yet,” said an older griffon with a fez and a scarred eye.  He hobbled over.
“Grandpa Gruff, they haven’t even offered to pay,” said Gilda.
“We’re looking for the Idol of Boreas,” explained Daring.
Gilda laughed.  “Don't tell me you really believe in that thing.”
“You'd better believe in it!” Grandpa Gruff retorted.  “It was the best thing to ever happen to us griffons!  I'll tell you the whole tragic tale...for a couple of bits.”
It seemed worth the price, and they paid.  Grandpa Gruff narrated them through a short history of Griffonstone and explained how the Idol had come to be lost.  It seemed that Arimaspi had fallen into Abysmal Abyss with it.
“What happens if we go down there and run into him?” Daring mused.
Grandpa Gruff shrugged.  “No refunds!”
“Whatever,” said Trixie.  “If he gives us trouble, we’ll kill him.” 
Gilda burst out laughing.  “Here we go, typical pony hero complex.  None of us care about that dumb old idol.  Don't you get it?  We don't care about anything, and that's the way we like it!”
“That’s the way you like it, huh?” said Trixie.
“Uh-huh,” Gilda replied.  “That’s the way I like it.”
Daring hmm’d.  “I just thought of a great scene for the book.  Where’s the nearest disco club?”
“We don’t have any,” Gilda told her.
“What kind of a kingdom is this?” Trixie demanded.
“We don’t have a king, either, losers.  I mean, disco, seriously?”
“What are you supposed to do when you want to get your musical groove on?” Daring asked.  “A pony city would implode if we weren’t able to vent with music.  It’s like we have a town-wide singalong every week.”
Gilda rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, that's Griffonstone's biggest problem, the lack of uplifting musical numbers.”
Trixie shook her head.  “This place truly is shitty.  Like, since there’s no king of Griffonstone, maybe the Princesses will want to annex the griffons in the name of Equestria.  Then they would quickly run into problems like unsafe housing, inadequate food supply, and general lack of functioning infrastructure.  This would lead to massive public works projects on the taxpayers’ dime with griffon subcontractors falsifying expense reports to bleed the Equestrian government dry.”
“Yeah, well, no refunds,” Gilda advised.  She paused, and said, “Earlier, you mentioned something about a book.”
“It’s a novelization of our adventures,” Daring said.
“What are you paying me for royalties for helping out you chumps?” Gilda asked.
“First, why don’t we negotiate services?” Daring proposed.  “If you guide us to Abysmal Abyss, I’ll give you a named appearance in the book.  Based on relative celebrity factor, we can determine the worth of the exposure.”
Daring had been in the publishing business for a long time.  She knew how to doublespeak like a pro when necessary.
“This had better not be a trick,” Gilda decided.  “But I’m in.  Money first.”
Fortunately, it didn’t take many bits to just get her to walk over to the Abyss.  The fissure in the ground was deep and dark.  Daring peered over the edge and asked, “What hasn’t anypony flown down there to pick up the treasure?”
“The winds are too strong,” Gilda said.  She held out a claw and was paid for services rendered.
“Well, guess this has to be done a little more manually,” said Trixie.  She took off her gear.  After a deep breath, she changed to her eight-legged form.  With a quick spell to make her hooves sticky and a good luck kiss from Daring, Trixie went over the edge.
“That was messed up,” said Gilda.
“You get used to the legs after a while,” Daring replied.
“No, I’m talking about you two.”
“Does the concept of homosexuality not exist in Griffonstone?” Daring asked.
“Homo-sexua-lity.”  Gilda sounded it out, a heavy look of thoughtfulness on her face.  “So… it’s like two females in love instead of the standard male-female pairing?  That can happen?”
Daring covered her eyes.  “Dear Celestia, am I really having this conversation?” 
In the Abyss, Trixie was going deeper.  The rough stone walls didn’t provide much traction, even with her enhancements.  Getting back up might be a challenge, but she was nothing if not persistent.
Free-climbing a deep canyon wall would have been difficult without the harsh winds or the building darkness as she went further down.  Trixie got a light spell started and kept her eyes moving to spot anything she could cling to.
After what seemed like forever, she hit bottom.  The depths of the pit contained several skeletons, probably those who had fallen in and been unable to get out.  Notably, Trixie noticed that one of them seemed to be wearing a fedora.  It was clutching a stylized golden goblet in its hooves.
There was also what appeared to be a cyclops goat thing with fingers.  Hard to tell from the skeleton, but that’s what Trixie figured it was.
Trixie picked up the Idol and had a look at it.  It certainly seemed to be exactly what she was searching for.  There was a nice jewel set into it.
A mysterious masked figure stepped out of the shadows, probably a mare by the sound of the voice she spoke with.  “You seem to be trapped here.  But I have a solution.  All you need to do is swear loyalty to me and I’ll help you get out of this pit.  You can even keep that goblet.”
Trixie blasted the pony with a full strength-attack.
Her reasoning was solid.  No mysterious figure ever offered a suspiciously good deal without strings attached, Trixie could get out of the Abyss on her own, and Valiant had taught her that while showbiz was great and all, there was also a time and place when mincing words was just boring and took away the advantage of surprise.
The mysterious figure managed to get a shield up ahead of Trixie’s magic attack but screamed with the effort, just barely managing to cast a teleportation spell.
Trixie shrugged.  She wondered why the mysterious figure hadn’t targeted any of the griffons, instead waiting until a ponies arrived in town.  But whatever.  It wasn’t the first random encounter she’d ever dealt a one-hit victory to, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.  It was just part of the deal when you were a certified badass.
Her certificate, by the way, had been issued by Valiant.  It hung on her wall back home.
There was the sound of rope and Daring rappelled down into the bottom of the Abyss.  “I heard noises.  Did something happen?”
“Well, sort of.”  Trixie showed her the Idol and explained what else she had encountered.
“Oh, so no big deal, then,” Daring said.
“If it wasn’t a big deal, then why did you come down here?” Trixie asked.  She grinned.  “Do you have a save-the-girl complex?”
Daring grinned wider.  “You know it, princess.  Now as the hero, I think it’s your obligation to show me a little gratitude.”
Why yes, they did have HLS.  At the bottom of a deep Abyss surrounded by skeletons.  As Daring would later admit, it was way better than having to explain the gay birds and bees to a griffon.
They eventually came to grips with the situation, however.  The strong winds prevented Daring from flying out.  Trixie might be able to climb the walls with her and the Idol in tow, but there had to be an easier solution.
It was always a good idea to plan for exit strategies.  Daring had learned that during her many adventures and liked to have an exit strategy ready to go for everything.  That was why she preferred paperclips over staples – they came with exit strategies.
The two of them brainstormed.  “I could try a spell,” Trixie said.  “Although teleporting that far carries risks if I don’t stick the landing exactly right.”
“Didn’t you say that mysterious figure teleported?” Daring asked.
“She probably knew the area really well,” Trixie replied.  “Either that or she was so powerful that she could deal with any trouble that she got into, and I can think of fewer unicorns like that than I have hooves.  I could probably get us out through teleportation, but the both of us, plus the Idol, makes it tricky.  Instead, I’ve got an idea.  It involves more HLS.”
Well, that was easy enough.  With the energy of the activities, Trixie found the extra boost of power she was looking for.  She’d also had the idea to focus the spell through a gem, a little trick Twilight had taught her.  The Idol was convenient, and she and Daring worked out a system.  The climax – pun very much intended – was a spell that fired them out of the Abyss on a column of golden light.
At ground level, they rolled out of the column of light and ended up on the ground.  The spell didn’t stop, though, bleeding off the excess power in a gigantic mushroom cloud that could probably be seen from space.
Gilda stood there at the edge of the pit, eyes bugging out of her head.  “I…I think I’ll stick to being straight, thank you very much.  That was…not the show I was expecting.”
“No refunds,” said Daring.
“So this is the Idol?” asked Gilda, eyeing the golden goblet.  “I didn’t think it actually existed.  We haven’t had a king since it disappeared.”
Daring thought for a moment.  “I was planning to keep this thing and put it in a museum or something, but I think giving it back to the griffons would make a nice heartfelt ending for the book.”
Trixie shook her head.  “I see what you mean, but we shouldn’t have to.  This is such a shitty place.  The government falls apart if a one piece of jewelry goes missing.”  She turned to Gilda.  “Couldn’t you guys have just replaced it with a duplicate from some Manehattan souvenir shop or something?”
Gilda thought for a moment.  “I could ask the office there to pick a few up and sell them to tourists.  That’ll work especially well now that we have the actual Idol.”
“What office?” Daring asked.
“The Manehattan office of my scone franchise,” Gilda said.  “I own a chain across Equestria.  Honestly, it’s a little surreal how quickly my success happened.  The last time I was in Ponyville, I got a cake thrown in my face.  As it turns out, it was a cake made by Pinkie Pie, regarded as one of the best bakers in Equestria.  I reverse-engineered the mixture and discovered ways of making my scones better.”  Gilda shrugged.  “And now I’m the owner of a successful, country-wide network of scone shops.”
“We’ll give you the Idol in exchange for scones,” Trixie offered.
Gilda considered it.  “Why don’t I give you a discount card good for 10% off at any shop?”
Daring shrugged.  “Eh, whatever.”
“Now, what about the book royalties?” Gilda asked.
“Eh, whatever,” Daring repeated.  “We’re giving you the Idol.”
“And a free education on lesbians,” Trixie added.  “That’s worth its weight alone.”
Gilda shook her head as if trying to get her head around the meaning.  “Weight in what?  Nevermind.  Just…go make fun of our shitty town or something.”
They felt they should tell her that making fun of the disadvantaged was not necessarily a homosexual trait, but didn’t feel that it was worth the effort.
The two of them headed down the mountain.  Daring grinned at Trixie.  “Well, that’s another adventure down.  We’re awesome.”
“We totally are,” laughed Trixie.  “I wonder what everypony else is doing at the Gala?”