“So that’s Murphy and those are his laws,” Light Patch finished with his explanation of Murphy’s laws. Rainbow Dash sighed in relief and, to the stallion’s surprise, Pinkie seemed to be lost in some fairly deep thoughts. Suddenly she raised her hoof, as if she’d been a student with a question. “Yes, Pinkie,” Light Patch asked, pointing at the mare, “you have a question?”
“Isn’t that a terribly pessimistic point of view from which to live one’s life? Also, according to Try Hard’s book on luck and magic, doesn’t that much negative thought cause the magic surrounding the pony to generate more unlucky instances of chance rather than good ones?” Pinkie finished, pushing her glasses up. Perfect Profit was looking back at Pinkie with a look of utter surprise on her face. Rainbow Dash had turned the conversation out a long time ago, only half listening so she could nod or yep when appropriate. She just rolled her eyes at Pinkie’s question. It’s just Pinkie being herself.
“Yes and,” the grey stallion shrugged, “I haven’t a clue, don’t know a lot about magic. I’ve also not read Try Hard’s book, sounds like a real page turner though. I’d probably have to try hard to put it down.” The stallion finished, grinning like a fool at his traveling companions. Rainbow Dash groaned, and Perfect Profit sympathy chuckled. Pinkie, however, looked thoughtful for a few seconds.
“I don’t get it,” she finally responded looking confused, causing Perfect Profit and Light Patch to stop dead, and Rainbow Dash almost fell out of the sky from surprise. Pinkie Pie to not get a joke, Rainbow Dash looked back at her pink friend. Either his joke was worse than I thought or… With a snort, Pinkie fell over into the cart and began howling with laughter.
“You three should have seen your faces,” the pink party pony managed to gasp out between gales of laughter. After a few minutes, she reappeared from inside the merchant’s cart and draped herself over an edge. “But seriously Patch Work, I think you should leave the puns to the professionals, like me or Minty Fresh.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Light Patch mumbled. The group continued chatting as they followed the road and the river besides it. They paused for a short lunch by the river before getting back on the road, Perfect Profit urging the group onwards with as much haste as could be spared, responding to questions with only a ‘you’ll see’.
They reached the edge of a forest as the sun began its final descent towards the horizon. Yellows, oranges and purples just starting to tint the skies. “We’re in luck,” the pinto merchant chimed in. “We’re gonna get to the campsite I’ve got in mind before dark. It’s only a few more minutes trot from this road. We’re going to have to leave the forest path to get to it, though,” she said, a fresh trot in her step. With a sigh, Rainbow Dash set down and trotted along side the grey pegasus as they followed the merchant into the tree line.
“What’s so great about this spot anyway?” Light Patch asked, quickening his pace so he was alongside Perfect Profit.
“You’ll see. It’s just right over here,” she said, turning off the road. “I use it all of the time when I take this route,” she noted, carefully working her cart through the foliage. Light Patch and Rainbow Dash glanced at each other with annoyance but carried on after her all the same. After another minute of working through the forest, they broke out into a small clearing. On one side there was a cliff face over which trickled a stream which followed a small trough. There were some old stone walls framing the two sides of the cliff making it look as if a building had stood against the cliff face at one point.
“The small waterfall there is perfect for refilling the water skins, and there's plenty of safe to eat stuff growing wild over there.” She walked past a small indent in the ground filled some with ashes. “That makes a perfect place for a fire.” Light Patch found himself having to agree with Perfect Profit; it was just about the perfect campsite, in so far as he could tell with his limited camping knowledge. It just feels too easy, too perfect of a set up, he mentally noted, glancing around. Maybe it’s just because I talked about Murphy’s Laws earlier but I can’t seem to shake the if it sounds too good to be true… He glanced around the camp as the others gathered around the cart.
“Okay, so who’s gonna do what in setting up the camp?” Pinkie asked, jumping out of Profit’s cart.
“I’ve got to secure my cart and goods, but then I can start the fire,” Perfect Profit said, already working to unhitch herself from the cart.
“Not a problem,” Rainbow Dash cut in, “I’ll take care of that fire. In fact, I’ll have it going in-”
“Ten seconds flat?” the grey pegasus finished for her. Rainbow Dash glared down at the pegasus.
“What, no? I was gonna say in a flash,” the cyan pegasus finished before darting into the forest to gather wood for the fire.
“I’ll cook,” Pinkie said, digging into the party’s supplies and darting towards the mentioned wild food stocks, simultaneously.
“Well, I guess that means I’ve gotta set up the tents then,” Light Patch murmured, turning to look at the two rolls. This is gonna end in tears, the stallion thought to himself before digging into the task at hoof. Rainbow Dash returned with the firewood in short order, and true to her word had the fire going in a flash of lightning. Pinkie re-emerged from the forest shortly after and began to cook. Perfect Profit finished checking her goods and securing the wagon and then began to help Pinkie cook, Rainbow Dash joining the two near the fire after doing some basic exercises. It was a few more minutes before they realized that Light Patch was a bit on the quiet side. With quick glances of horror at each other, they all turned expecting to see Light Patch in some form of mortal combat with the tents. Pinkie, at least, was disappointed however to see two perfectly set up tents and one unharmed pegasus stallion staring at them. Rainbow dash flitted over and poked him in the side.
“What's wrong, Patch, they look at you strangely?” she asked, hovering next to him. Shaken from his thoughts, he glanced around before spotting Rainbow.
“No, just surprised that I managed to set them up without accidents.” He paused as if thinking for a moment. “I do need help finding the other tents; these were the only two I could find.” Rainbow Dash looked at the grey pegasus in surprise before she zipped off to check the cart. Light Patch turned to see the same look of shock on the coffee and tan colored merchant. Pinkie, however, had turned back to working on the food.
“Don’t bother, Dashie. I only bought the one tent. I figured you and I could share one and Coffee Bean and Patch Work could share the other one.” She paused to taste the food she was working on. “It also let me bring more cupcake material,” Pinkie commented offhandedly, turning around from dinner to see Perfect Profit and Light Patch glance at each other, before quickly turning away, both ponies faces glowing bright red. “Anyway, dinners ready, so lets chow down before it gets cold!” she finished already busy dishing up bowls.
Rainbow floated over and took her bowl before grabbing a seat next to the fire. Why did I agree to let Pinkie purchase the supplies again? she mentally asked herself before deciding it was no use dwelling on now and dug into dinner.
After a few seconds of hesitation the last two of the group trotted over and sat across the fire from each other. Light Patch, in no hurry to feed the figurative fire, looked down at his meal only to freeze. “Wow,” he stated looking down at the food. “I’m impressed Pinkie,” he continued, “You seem to have managed to use just about every food I don’t like in here. Onions, tomatos in their pure form, and is that.” the stallion took a hefty sniff. “Cinnamon, you even had cinnamon in here. I must applaud your ingenuity.” The stallion briefly clapped before starting to eat. It wasn’t his favorite but he had to admit it wasn’t bad either. Pinkie beamed at the compliment.
After a few moments of silence Perfect Profit asked the first question. “So, what got the three of you into adventuring?” The other three of the group glanced at each other before turning back to the merchant.
“For adventure!” Pinkie Pie said, jumping up and brandishing her spoon like a sword.
I’m not surprised at that from her, the merchant thought a small smile on her face. She took another bite and turned to the other mare. “What about you?”
“I,” the rainbow-maned pegasus paused, searching for words, “wanted to prove myself, you know? And train my skills better than I could at home just practicing with ponies who barely even match my skill level,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d like to be as good as one of my heroes is,” she finished, thinking of Daring Do. “Well, that and some pony had to keep an eye on my friends while they adventure, so I figured I’d cut out the middle pony and go with them myself.”
“And what about you?” Perfect Profit said, turning to the last member of their little group.
Light Patch panicked slightly. Okay, it shouldn’t be too hard. I just need to come up with something believable. He quickly spooned up a large amount of the food, continued to ignore the fact he could swivel his ears, and thought before finally beginning. “I grew up as an orphan in a small remote monastery. I was taught to heal both magically and the more mundane way.” He paused for another bite and more time. “I was also taught to defend myself. I was taught to help any and all, but the monastery didn’t do a whole lot of that. Other than the few that could make it to our little monastery, who usually didn’t need a whole lot of help in any case, we never left unless we needed something. After an argument too far, I gathered what gear I could and set out to actually do some good.” He was gonna stop there but a little light clicked on in his head and he quickly tacked on, “I was also hoping to find somepony to help me with my flying. All of the ponies at the monastery were earth or unicorn ponies. I was the only pegasus; I figured out some basics but never how to fly.”
“Well, don’t worry too much. If I can teach Twilight how to fly I’m sure I can help you,” Rainbow said, setting her empty bowl aside. She gave a small burp which only caused Pinkie Pie to beam with satisfaction. “Sorry ‘bout that, ” she apologized with a roll of her eyes, knowing that Rarity would be proud of her reaction. “So, what got you into merchanting?” the pegasus mare asked. The pinto-coated merchant quickly finished off her dinner before responding.
“Well, partly because it was the family business. Mom and dad were both merchants. And their parents before them, so you could say gold is in my blood.” Profit said. She jumped when a sharp gasp interrupted her.
“Oh wow! Gold in the blood! Wait, does that mean your blood is gold colored rather than red? Or would it be blue... No wait that’s for nobles.” Pinkie paused her ramblings when she noticed the group giving her stink eye. Heh, stink eye. Thats funny. So would being able to smell with your eye. Actually, that could be pretty cool- Oooh, would that mean I could see fear? Or smell the things I see and see the things I smell? She once again noticed her friends looking at her. Oh, right. “Heh, sorry, carry on.” Perfect Profit cleared her throat and picked up about where she left off.
“But I’m really a merchant because of all of the numbers. I...” She hesitated, unsure if she should go on. “I really like math; the way it all works out. And all of the fancy equations, and that they can give useful results even though they look like they shouldn’t. I just find it a lot of fun.”
“I’d bet you and Twilight would get along fairly well,” Rainbow Dash noted in an attempt to still seem interested in the chat.
“Yeah, you two could talk numbers all day. She’d probably even help you figure out how to increase your profit margin while shrinking your upkeep costs and completely decentralize your distribution model. Then the two of you could work on re-inventing your ability to-” Pinkies ramblings were cut off for the fourth time that day.
“Okay, now you're just throwing out buzzwords,” The grey pegasus noted, causing the pink mare to simply smile before they all laughed. The conversation carried on past the sunset and partly into the moon rise.
Finally, the coffee and tan colored mare figured it was time to pack it in for the night. “If we’re gonna set out at sunrise tomorrow we should probably get some rest,” she said.
“Ooh, good idea. Come on, Dashie, lets hit the hay!” Pinkie said, grasping the blue pegasus so as to leave no room for argument, dragging her off to their tent she turned to look at the other two. “Try to not stay up too late,” she sing-songed and popped into the tent, leaving the other two ponies to blush and avoid each other’s gaze out of embarrassment.
That mare is as about as subtle as a sack of hammers in a glass forge, Light Patch mentally noted. After another moment, he managed to look at the merchant mare. “I think we should, have one of us stay up to watch, for trouble, you know. Just in case,” he managed to stutter out. Perfect Profit glanced at him then quickly looked away nodding. “I’ll take the first watch. You go on and head to sleep. I’ll wake Pinkie in a bit,” He said, noticing the merchant nod before she quickly disappeared into the tent.
With nothing to do but feed the fire every now and then and keep an eye and ear out for danger, his mind wandered. He glanced around at the campsite checking the tents, his ears swiveling around like turrets, not that he left himself dwell on that though. The more he looked at the perfection of the campsite, the more his earlier suspicions nagged at his mind. If this is such the perfect camping spot it is, he thought considering the area, why is it so far off the path? It doesn’t stand to reason; there should be so many ponies flocking to use this site the path should have migrated to be next to it. Or at least a more prominent trail should show the way. Heck, this place should probably be crawling with bandits, the stallion noted.
A loud crack interrupted his thoughts, and with the slight shift of the ground under the camp everything made sense. The shade, the almost perfect natural fire pit, the small stream with a fall perfect for refilling waterskins. The wild food that probably didn’t have any business growing wild, let alone here. The ground shifted slightly again. Suddenly unable to find his words, the pegasus stallion scrambled over to where Pinkie and Rainbow’s tent was and began trying to prod them both awake. With a groan, Pinkie stirred and turned over to look at who dared to disturb her sleep.
“You’re poking the wrong bed Patch Work, Perfect Profit is over there,” she’d begun to say before she caught a glimpse of the terror on his face. “What, is something wrong?” Light Patch began to rapidly nod, surprised nothing had happened yet. “Are you scared of the dark? Don’t worry, Auntie Pinkie will-” Light Patch began to vigorously shake his head. “Well, if it’s not that then what's wrong? Spit it out, but not literally, that would be gross.” Light Patch plugged her mouth with his hoof and looked her right in the eyes.
“It’s a trap,” he wheezed out just before it sprung. With a mighty crescendo, the ground suddenly flipped over, engulfing their whole camp in darkness. With screams of terror, the group fell through the darkness. Before anypony could react, they all bounced off giant mushrooms in different directions.
Perfect Profit lifted herself from the floor, trying to ignore her body’s displeasure for her actions. She was about to ask what happened when her cart smashed into the ground in front of her. She heard other pieces of their camp clatter to the ground around her, along with the groaning of the others.
To the groups fortune, however, some of the pieces of wood from their campfire were still burning, allowing them all to get a better look at their surroundings. “Everypony who’s not dead or unconscious sound off,” Light Patch groused, quickly healing himself before moving to the nearest torch. A chorus of groans echoed back.
Rainbow Dash threw herself into the sky with a flourish and made way towards one of the still burning pieces of wood, glancing at the tree-sized mushrooms around them. “So what happened?”
“We fell for somepony’s trap card.” Light Patch deadpanned as the fabric of one of the tents fell over him.