//------------------------------// // Tywin's Delayment // Story: Tywin Lannister goes to Equestria! // by theanonymousbrony //------------------------------// That day, Tywin was sitting upon his desk in a brooding manner after his failure to recruit Big Mac to his personal guard. He felt so abjected by it that he lost the urge to break his fast that morning. (But seeing as how even Tywin didn't want to see a good meal go to waste, he decided to let Spike eat it instead.) As Spike was making good use of this meal, he felt that he should at least try to lift up abit of Tywin's spirit for this generous reward. "Sorry that things didn't go as you planned. Although you can't really blame Big Mac for picking his family over you; they just need him more than you." "Who said that I needed him?" Tywin turned his chair around to look at Spike. "That lummox clearly would've let his emotions get in the way of his judgement; so it's really a good thing that I didn't waste any of that gold on him." "But didn't you say that you need strong ponies like him in your guard?" "Yes, but I also need someone who would follow my commands without any objections. If I were to tell Big Mac to kill somebody, his conscience would've prevented him from obeying my order. I do need strong arms, Spike, but I also need guards that would do as I say without stopping to ask questions." times like this I wish that Gregor Clegane was brought here with me. "You mean like Bulk Biceps?" This sparked Tywin's interest like a candle. "What about him?" In between stuffing food in his mouth, Spike was able to give him a full description. "Bulk Biceps is this really muscular pegasus pony who makes Big Mac look tiny by comparrison." "And does this Bulk Biceps ever stop to question his actions?" "Not exactly. He mostly just likes to burst through walls and shout; so it's really safe to say that he's not the thinking type." "And where might I find him?" "Well the last time I saw him was over at the spa; chances are he might still be there." "Then we better recruit him as soon as possible; I already lost my opportunity with Big Mac, I'll be damned if I lose this one as well." He stuffed his pockets with little bags of bits as he and Spike were preparing themselves for their next mission. But it would seem that would have to wait when they heard Twilight say, "Tywin, can I speak with you for a moment?" He let out an annoyed sigh as he tried to regain his composure and hide his true emotions with that blank expression of his. He and Spike walked into the council chamber and saw Twilight sitting upon her throne. "You called, Your Grace?" He thought that flattery might be able to win her over, but even that wasn't enough to get rid of the scowl that was on her face. "Tywin, what you did yesterday was very inexcusable. As my servant you should know better than to be speaking against your superiors; especially if it's the Mayor." "That was no superior, that was just a pretender who thinks she has more control over this place." "That's because she does; she's the Mayor for Celestia's sake!" "And you're a princess; which means that you have much more power over this little village than that pretender will ever have." "Look Tywin, just because you're my advisor, it doesn't mean that you can tell me how to do things around here." Spike then pointed out, "But isn't telling you what to do the main purpose of an advisor?" "Shut up, Spike! This has nothing to do with you!" After that little outburst Twilight made, Tywin was slowly starting to tense up as well. "Don't speak that way to him; if he has something to say, then he has every right to speak his mind." "Right?! What right?! He's a servant; he's not even on the same level as you and I!" "Only because you choose to keep him that way! That's right, he's told me about how you and the rest of your lot keep looking down on him. And even after he's proven to be just as capable as you, you still insist on making him your servant instead of your equal. Where I come from he would've been granted a lordship at this point. Well mark my words Twilight Sparkle, that by my name as a Lannister, I shall see to it that you and the rest of these ponies give Spike the proper respect that you've been denying him all his life!" Twilight then rose from her throne and said, "How dare you speak to me that way? Have you forgotten just who I am? I am Princess Twilight Sparkle; I have power, you don't! And yet it seems that you've forgotten your own position. Which is why I've thought of a perfect punishment that'll put you back in your place." "And what exactly do you have in mind?" "Cheerilee needs to attend a family reunion, which is why I'm sending you over to the school to teach her students until she comes back." "With all due respect, Princess, I have much more important matters to attend to than looking after children." "Well you should've thought about that before you decided to defy me. Spike had to learn his place, and you can bet that you'll learn yours." Right when Tywin was about to argue some more, Spike stopped him as he whispered, "Don't make it worse. Let's just go over to the school and be done with it before she decides to delay you even further." and so swallowing his pride, Tywin turned around and allowed Twilight to have the satisfaction of victory over him. As they were both heading to the school, Spike noticed that Tywin was unusually grumpy after his little confrontation with Twilight. "Come on Tywin, it could've been worse." "Nothing can be worse than having to kiss the foot of some naive, little cunt like her! (And after serving Joffrey, I should know by now.)" "I agree that there are moments where Twilight tends to take too much advantage of her authority, but after all these years of serving her, I eventually learned that Twilight always gets her way in the end." "Why must you put up with her? Why don't you ever stand up and show her just how dangerous it can be to push a dragon around?" "Because if it wasn't for her, I'd still be an egg right now. She might take me for granted, but she still gave me life, and I have to be grateful for that. Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I wonder what my life would be like if Celestia had just sent me back to my actual family, but she instead decided to give me to Twilight." "Ah, so you're a bastard." "A what?" "In Westeros, we have a name for people who never get to be with their real family: bastards. You have dragon parents, but you instead were raised by ponies. Which makes you a bastard." "Let me guess, these 'bastards' are pretty much looked down upon as much as these ponies look down at me, right?" "It's true that bastards tend to never get anywhere in life, but it's a real rarity when a bastard's mother or father decide to let him be apart of his family. But it's even more rare that a bastard becomes legitimize. When Twilight took you in, did she allow you to go by her family name?" "No, just because she allowed me to live with her family didn't necessarily meant that she'd let me be a part of her family." "Then it would seem that the reason behind your problems is because you're still considered a bastard; and until you become legitimize, these ponies will never look upon you as their equal." "Well I seriously doubt that Twilight will willingly give me that honor." "No, she clearly wants you to remain in your current position. Which is why we need to remove her from her position as well." "You mean you're planning on overthrowing the Mayor and Twilight?" "The Mayor stopped having power over this village since Twilight was crowned princess, but Twilight however seems to be unfit for such responsibility. So not only must we rid Ponyville of that pretender, we also got to set some limitations over Twilight." "OK, let's say for the sake of argument that both your plans work. You've removed the Mayor from power, and you also took away some of Twilight's authority as well. What then? What have you possibly gained from all this?" "If I were to succeed in both plans, I would gain complete control over this village and get you one step closer to immortality." "OK, but why though?" "Because intelligent people like you and I should never have to bend our knees to fools who have no business in having power to begin with. And the sooner we get this punishment over with, the faster we can get these plans underway." The second they stepped inside the school, they were immediately greeted by Cheerilee. "Oh good, you're here! Princess Twilight said she'd send somepony over; and for a minute I thought you'd never show up." she then turned to all her students. "OK students, this is..." "Tywin Lannister." "Right," Cheerilee continued, "Mr. Lannister's going to be substituting for me today, and I expect you all to be on your best behavior." she then turned to Tywin. "Here's a list of things to do until I come back, but it shouldn't be long though." as she was walking out the door, she whispered to Spike, "And be sure to send Princess Twilight my regards." When she was gone, the whole room suddenly went silent. As Tywin was examining the classroom, he noticed that Apple Bloom was amongst one of them, including Diamond Tiara (who is wearing a tiara, necklace, bracelets, and a pair of sunglasses that were completely made out of the gems he sold to her father). After that uncomfortable silence, Tywin looked at the list and whispered to Spike, "What does this mean?" Spike looked at the sentence that reads "Tell a story." and whispered in response, "Just read them a book." Seeing as how Tywin's clearly new at this, Spike went and got him the only book that was in the classroom. Tywin looked in disgust at the pink picture book with the glitterly title: Puppy Goo-Goo. "Isn't there another book I can read?" "Sorry Tywin, but that's the only one this school has." With that said, Tywin sat himself down as he opened the book and read to the students--while he cringed inside. "There once was a puppy named Goo-Goo, with a nose of blue, who loves to chew." Seven Hells, it's going to be those stories that rhymes, isn't it?! "He chewed on his owners horseshoe, whose name was Hugh." who wrote this?! "Hugh then yelled at Puppy Goo-Goo, which caused him to cry boo-hoo." these sentences are killing me! "So Hugh pet Puppy Goo-Goo and said, 'Don't cry Goo-Goo, for I will always love...'" before he could finish that verse, he slammed the book and tossed it out the window! "I'm sorry, but I just could not read that atrocity any further! So until your teacher comes back, I shall tell you all tales that are far more interesting than...'Puppy Goo-Goo'!" he said those last words with the same bitter sensation he felt when he called Tyrion his son. A silver pony with pig tails and glasses asked him, "And like what does an old man like you know that's more interesting?" "You happen to be in the presence of Tywin of House Lannister: Lord of Casterly Rock, Warden of the West, Shield of Lannisport, and Hand of the King." He noticed an orange pegasus whispering to Apple Bloom, "Gee, this guy doesn't sound pretentious at all." Tywin decided to call her out. "You have something you like to say to me?" When she was in direct contact of his cold gaze, the orange pegasus nervously said, "Uh...where did you come from?" "I come from a land known as Westeros: a world that consisted of Seven Kingdoms that were all ruled by one king. I lived in Casterly Rock--which resided in the Westerlands." A white unicorn then asked, "What was your home like?" "Casterly Rock is a giant mountain that towers over Lannisport and overlooks the Sunset Sea; if you were to see it from a distance, then it would give the illusion that it's really a giant lion rather than a big chunk of rock. Originally it once belonged to House Casterly, but it would forever become the ancestral home of House Lannister when my ancestor, Lann the Clever, was able to use his wits to drive House Casterly out of it. For a time we Lannisters had ruled over the Westerlands as King of the Rock, but that would soon end when Aegon Targaryen and his sisters--with the help of their dragons--had taken over nearly all of Westeros. And in the end, House Targaryen would rule as King of the Seven Kingdoms, while House Lannister was reduced to Warden of the West." A grey pegasus then asked, "Did you fight in any battles?" "As a matter of fact, I did. My first taste of battle was during the War of the Ninepenny Kings; I was but a man grown of eight-and-ten when I squired beside my brothers and my boyhood friends. We mostly had to stand around shining armor and weapons while real knights were either drinking or breaking their fast, but in the end we all gained needs experience that would prove useful to us later on." That was when Diamond Tiara decided to challenge him. "Now wait a minute, first off, when you said 'man grown', shouldn't that have been grown man? Also, what's eight-and-ten?" "It's a way of saying eighteen." "Then why didn't you say eighteen? Furthermore, was the 'needs' really necessary when you said you'd gained experience? Wouldn't it make more sense to just leave it out. And for that matter, when was the last time anypony said 'breaking their fast'? I can see that you're old, but I didn't think that you were born in the 1300's!" The second she started to laugh, Tywin had stepped towards her and leaned closer to her. With that cold stare of his, he said to her, "You're Filthy Rich's daughter, aren't you?" "How'd you know?" "Because you're wearing the gems that I supplied your father with." "Really, well thank you so much!" "You like them, don't you?" "Like them? I adore them! I couldn't possibly live without these beautiful gems!" "Then unless you want me to stop supplying your father with any more gems, the next words that come out of your mouth better be a question instead of an insult!" She had then sinked down in a submissive manner as she said timidly, "Uh...were you ever married?" And Tyrion thinks that physical abuse is the only way to handle a spoiled brat. "Aye, her name was Joanna Lannister; she was my cousin, and the most beautiful woman in all the Seven Kingdoms." Apple Bloom then interrupted him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you married yer cousin?! Ugh, that's gross! Ya can't marry yer cousin!" "Why not? It's not like I was marrying the way the Targaryens wed eachother." "And how do they wed eachother?" "By making the brother and sister, husband and wife." upon mentioning this, all the students look like they were about to throw-up as that image was slowly processing through their brains. "Would any of you wish for me to discuss something else?" That's when Spike requested, "What about the Reynes and the Tarbecks; how were you able to stop them from taking over?" Tywin decided to sit back down as he said, "As much as I'd like to skip straight to their fates, it's seems more fitting to start at the beginning..." ... Upon our arrival to Casterly Rock, my father was both surprised and thrilled to see us return. "Tywin, Kevan, Tygett! Thank the Seven you're still alive!" "That's right Father, we're back," I told him, "And after getting a taste of battle, I shall finally be able to restore House Lannister to it's rightful place." "Now Tywin, we've been over this already; I'm the Lord of Casterly Rock." "Yes, the same lord who hid behind the rock while his own sons were bleeding in battle." "I was too distraught over your mother's passing to join in the war; you understand?" "Aye, I understand all right. I understand that you're a weak-willed coward who does nothing but laugh and let's his own bannermen do as they please! But not this time. I will put those impudent vassals back in their place, and this time you're not going to send me back to King's Landing as some cupbearer!" My father had every right to object, but being the weakling that he is, he ended his feeble argument and went back to his chambers. As he did so, I immediatley took command. "All right, it's time for us to make our first move. Kevan, I'm giving you command of five hundred knights to rid the Westerlands of any robber knights. And as for you Tygett, send forth for Ser Harys Swyft; I need him to send a message to our bannermen." While this was happening, Lord Roger Reyne was having a feast when Ser Harys Swyft had entered the halls of Castamere. "Ah, Ser Harys," Lord Roger greeted him, "Come and join us!" "I'm afraid I can't stay for long," said Ser Harys, "I need to send my daughter to Casterly Rock as soon as I'm finished delivering these messages." "What messages?" Ser Harys handed Lord Reyne a parchment with our House seal on it as he said, "The Lion has awoken." As soon as he left, Lord Reyne opened the parchment and read the message for all to hear: To all the bannermen of House Lannister, you shall all immediately repay your debts to your liege lord as soon as you receive this message. If you're unable to repay at the moment, then you shall surrender a hostage until such time you're able to fulfill your obligation to Casterly Rock. Failure to comply to any of these commands shall result in dire consequences. Tywin Lannister. The sound of Lord Reynes laughter could be heard all over Castamere after reading my message. "The little lion cub survives a war and now he thinks he's Lord of Casterly Rock!" His brother, Reynard Reyne, said to him, "Shouldn't we follow his demands?" "He's a boy, Reynard! He may have a stronger spine than his father, but he's still a boy. In fact, let's send a message of our own." True to his word, Lord Reyne had sent messages all over the Westerlands that advised them to ignore my demands. But when word of this had reached Lord Tarbeck, he thought of doing a different action. "It would seem that Tytos hasn't put that little cub of his in line; looks like I'm going to have to put an end to this myself." "You think that's wise?" Ellyn Reyne questioned him. "My brother did advise us to just ignore these commands after all." "And it's probably what the little cub wants," Lord Tarbeck declared, "If we just sit here and do nothing, he'll think that we're afraid of him. And there's no way that I'm going to let some pampered little brat like him intimidate me. Besides, all I got to do is talk to his father and this'll seem to have never happen." He was so sure that he can simply put an end to this, that he had ridden all the way to Casterly Rock--without his personal guard. As he was stepping into the great hall, he immediately called for my father. "Tytos, you mind explaining why your son sent me this order?" his confident smirk had turned into a look of dread when he saw just who it was he was talking to. "Ah, Lord Tarbeck," I said, "I trust that you've come to settle your debt?" he stared at me in complete silence. "Or perhaps you've come to give over a hostage until you can repay your debt?" his whole body had frozen in complete fear. "No, you haven't come to do any of those things, have you?" the second his sweat had touched the floor, I immediatley had my guards seize him at once. "Walderran Tarbeck, for your disloyalty to your liege lord, you shall be held prisoner until you finally remember your place! Throw him in the dungeon!" As he was being dragged away, he shouted, "Tywin, when word of this reaches Tarbeck Hall, your House will pay dearly for this!" "I highly doubt that; because unlike you and everyone else, a Lannister always pays his debts." that was the first time I ever said those words--nor would it be the last. Word eventually did reach to Tarbeck Hall, and when Ellyn Reyne had learned of her husbands predicament, she realized just how much of a threat I pose. "So Tytos's cub wants to bully us into submitting. Very well, if that's how he wants to play, then so be it." she then turned to her knights and ordered them. "March to Lannisport and capture as many Lannisters that you can." One of her knights asked, "Is that wise, Lady Tarbeck?" "If I could make Tytos feel like less of a man, then I can make his little cub feel like less of a lion. Now go!" true to her word, her knights had succeeded in capturing three Lannisters and she was sure that my father would give in to her demands. When my father realized what has happened, he immediately rushed into the great hall to find me, Kevan, and Tygett reading a message that Ellyn Reyne had sent. "Tywin, what have you done?! Why is Lord Tarbeck locked in a cell?! And what does that message say?!" Kevan read it out to him: If you're reading this, I have three relatives of yours held prisoner. Unless you want me to send you their heads, you'll send back my husband--unharmed. Lady Tarbeck. Upon reading this, I was the first to respond. "Very well, we'll send him back to her. For every Lannister they have, we shall send that cunt a piece of her husband." But my father had quickly objected, "No, you've caused enough trouble already, Tywin! I don't need you to make it worse! Guards, release Lord Tarbeck at once!" the second he was released, my father tried his best to apologize, "I'm sorry for what my son did; to show that I mean no ill-will, I shall be more than glad to pardon your debt to House Lannister." "Thank you, Tytos," Walderran said with that smug smirk of his. "I knew I could count on you to set things right." The second he left, I immediately lashed out at him, "Father, what in Seven Hells did you do?!" "I just prevented a war that you almost caused." "You just pardoned one of your enemies; now all of Westeros will think that we're forgivers!" "And that's a good thing; because the last thing we need are enemies. And besides, they had three relatives of ours captive. If I didn't follow Lady Tarbeck's demand, she would've killed them." "We have an army you feeble nitwit; we could've gotten them back through force! But thanks to you, our House is now back to where it was before!" "Tywin, you might not always agree with my actions, but I'm still Lord of Caster..." I slapped him across the face so hard that he fell to his knees. As he looked up at me, I told him just how I truly felt about him, "You're no lord, you're about as fit to be a lord as a pig farmer is to be a knight. The problem with you is that you only see good in people; if you weren't so blind by your opulence, you can see just what a complete disgrace you are to the Lannister name. I might not be Lord of Casterly Rock at the moment, but one way or another, I'll bring this House back to its former glory rather you like it or not." ... "...I might not have succeeded at first, but the next time I did. And that will be a story for another time." Right when he finished telling his story, Cheerilee had finally came back. "Hi, I'm back. I hope my students weren't too much trouble." "No, they were rather obedient than I expected. Now if you'll excuse me, Spike and I have other matters to attend to."