//------------------------------// // Sit Right Back, Hear a Tale // Story: Ynanhluutr // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “She spilled Ultimo's blood!” Kaji loudly proclaimed. His eyes blazed brightly in the flicker of the bonfire. “She spilled his blood more than any pony I've ever broke the waves with!” A thick crowd of Nealenders sat on the circle of logs and chairs situated around the village fire. Every single soul leaned forward in drunk awe of the story being told. Even the smattering of Continentalists seated in the corner had their eyes locked on the wildly gesturing speaker. “She stabbed his back and his neck and his throat! And despite Rainbow Dash's bloody zeal, Ultimo still saw fit to show us his wrath!” Kaji spun and pointed across the blaze. “So—enraged and ravenous—he gave our brave sister Flare a concussion, then made like a pack of sharks to her floating body to devour her—bones and all!” The stallion flashed a wild grin. “But just when all seemed lost—in swept the dinky landwalker on his mighty skiff! SWOOOSH! He swept Flare up with just seconds to spare, and Ultimo was robbed of a delectable... scrumptious dinner!” Several Nealenders cheered and whooped in celebration of the wild tale. Off to the side, Flare and Nick exchanged smiles. Flare ruffled Nick's mane while the stallion bore a sheepish smile. In the meantime, a rather amused Theanim Mane trotted amongst the crowd, handing out random photographs. “It's all true! You can see the evidence of today's heroism right here! Why... if Rainbow Dash and Nick weren't there when Verlaxion's glory willed it—” “Baah!” Kaji flew in, waving his hoof and causing several sheets to fall to the ground. “Hey!” Theanim frowned. “My good stallion—” “You cannot share the true meat of today's glory with soul stealing!” Kaji gnashed his teeth, then faced the crowd. “You had to have been there! Only a pony whose blood was christened with the thrill of the hunt can properly understand how close we got to shaming the ocean beast—” “Oh, for Verlaxion's sake!” Theanim barked. “I was there!” “Hah! Maybe in books, but not in butts!” The crowd laughed. “I too was there!” Theanim stomped his hoof, then faced the crowd. “The ocean practically boiled with Ultimo's fury! Every time he growled or hissed, you felt it in the water, and you felt it in your gut! It was hard to take a photograph from the constant frothing in the very air! Why, if Rainbow Dash wasn't there, I'd surely have drowned! And I'm certain more than just Flare owed their livelihood to the timely arrival of Nick and his trimaran—” “Hah hah hah hah!” Kaji laughed, then slapped Theanim's flank. “That's more like it, Thunker Meat! And who said you were nothing but boxes and chemicals!” “Grrrrr...” Theanim opened his mouth to protest, but blinked, drawn curiously to the waves of cheers and laughter across the encircling crowd. “Oh... well... that was rather thrilling, wasn't it?” Kaji chuckled and resumed his tale. Meanwhile, across the way, Twilight Sparkle smiled and turned to gaze at Rainbow Dash. The pegasus sat in a slump besides Sinrar. Her bowl of tropical greenery was only half eaten, and her ruby eyes lingered on a splotch of dry dirt several feet before the actual flame. Twilight arched an eyebrow. Settling down beside Rainbow Dash, she said: “You know, there was a time when you'd tell stories like this around a table of ice cream sundaes and scones.” “Hmmm?” Rainbow tilted her head up. “What?” “Hehehe... Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Don't you remember those afternoon meals we'd have? All of the girls would be seated around the same table, enjoying whatever Pinkie Pie and the Cakes had just prepared for us. But the get together didn't get really exciting until you decided to open up about some amazing exploit or another.” She waved a hoof. “I particularly like the story about your regular races through Ghastly Gorge. And... hehe... of course... how you defended Fluttershy's honor at Junior Flight Camp.” “Mmmmff...” Rainbow Dash gazed aside, her ears folded. “Does this look anything like Sugarcube Corner?” Sinrar's eyes darted over, curious. Twilight's brow furrowed. “No. But it's still exciting. And why shouldn't these ponies feel happy and victorious? Or you for that matter?” She turned and pointed across the flickering blaze. “Flare's alive thanks to yours and Nick's heroics. And though you may not have gotten the broken shard piece from Ultimo, at least you did show him you mean business.” “Yeah, but he's still out there, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “And he's still got what we need to bring back the other girls.” A sigh escaped her lips. “Until I can know for sure that someday I'll be sitting at a table with you five again... I...” Her nostrils flared. “I just don't see what's worth celebrating,” she muttered. “Trouble in paradise?” Sinrar rasped. Both Rainbow and Twilight turned to look at the old stallion. “It's nothing to worry yourself over, Dr. Dude,” Rainbow droned. “Who's worried?” Sinrar said with a limp shrug. “I knew from the very moment you set out to gut this damnable fish, you were gonna come back. You're resourceful, strong, and crafty as Hell.” “I learned to stop worrying about myself long ago,” Rainbow said. “Today, one of the Nealenders nearly bit it.” “But she didn't,” Sinrar said. “Our resident pipsqueak proved to be something of an adept casaneighva.” “Hmmmf. How very punny.” “But if you got swallowed up, harpy...” Sinrar shook his head. “That would be the real tragedy.” “Oh yeah? Why's that?” “Because you're unique. You're one of a kind.” “And you guys aren't?” “Not like you,” Sinrar muttered. “A pony of your calibre doesn't fly the distance she does and sees the things she sees at any small cost.” “Grnnnfhh...” Rainbow ran a hoof over her face. “Don't remind me.” “And would it be such a bad thing? To be reminded?” Sinrar's amber eyes narrowed. “If your ghostly friend Twilight—assuming she exists at all—doesn't do it, then you can at least rely on an entire lifetime of exploits.” His gray features curved into a wrinkly smile. “A quest to save a desert kingdom... a run in with a chaotic dragon... a battle with airborne imperialists—” “What are you even getting at, old stallion?” “Have you ever once pondered exactly why I left my apartment flat to join you stupid tail-flickers in the first place, harpy?” Rainbow's muzzle scrunched. She glanced at Twilight, then back at Sinrar. “Because... you wanted to make more maps?” “I've spent my whole life making maps,” Sinrar said. “If I wanted to, I could have just given you the damn charts and let you be on your way.” “But you didn't,” Rainbow said. “You still haven't.” “Because all of those maps are just numbers and lines and names...” He sighed. “...without substance.” Rainbow stared at him. “You've given me that substance, harpy,” Sinrar murmured. “You've shown me that the world lives... here and beyond.” He slowly shook his head. “All this time, I lost hope in believing...” Silence, save for—of course—the loud tale being orated a few feet away. “Believing in what?” Twilight asked. “Yeah.” Rainbow gulped. “Believing in what?” “That there was magic to this world,” Sinrar said in a breathy tone. “And wonderment.” He turned towards Kaji and the Nealenders with fire and starlight glittering across their eyes. “Not just a bunch of arrogant freakjobs trying to make do on a bunch of stones scattered across an endless ocean. Not just a huge religion devouring everypony's imagination and forcing them to bow down to a phantom. Grfff...” He adjusted his beret and muttered, “For years, I locked myself away because I was angry... angry at the world. I had spent so many years researching and studying, but all I had gotten was data and facts. I soon realized that the more you could explain everything, the colder this universe got. And it was a very dull universe... so dull that soon rumor and heresy would occupy my obsessive mind.” “And that's how you got fixated on the legend of Val Roan explorers,” Rainbow said. “Mmmm...” He nodded, gazing into the fire. “Indeed.” “But... I've told you so much about the rest of the world,” Rainbow Dash said. “About Val Roa and Ledomare and Silvadel and Equestria...” She winced. “Ah jeez... I... I just made the universe all the more boring for you, didn't I, Dr. Dude?” “Hmmmf?” He turned towards her, blinking. “Why's that?” “Well, like, because now you know everything... everything about what's beyond.” For some strange reason, he cracked a smile. “I don't know everything, harpy.” His eyes took on a piercing glint. “Because you don't know everything.” Rainbow Dash blinked. “And I don't think you ever will,” Sinrar said. “That's the magic of what makes you you.” He shuffled sideways and pointed at her. “Even if you make it to the Midnite Bastion—” “Midnight Armory.” “Whatever. Even if you make it to that damnable Macguffin of a destination and get the hocus pocus thingy to bring back to your homeland and get your friends back, I doubt you'll ever stop learning... and living.” His lips curved. “And the fact that there are creatures like you—here and beyond—is what makes the world all the more interesting. There will always be a mystery. There will always be an adventure.” Rainbow simply gazed at him. Twilight, meanwhile, winked at Rainbow Dash with a proud smile. “But...” And then Sinrar sighed, turning back to the flame. “That's not anything I can ever enjoy.” “Huh?” Rainbow cocked her head to the side. “Why not, dude?” “Mrmmmff... isn't it obvious, imbecile?” he spat. “I'm older than dusty piss. This stupid journey has very nearly killed me, and we've barely scratched the damn surface of where you need to go and what you need to do.” “Y'know...” Rainbow slicked her mane back and said: “I never once asked for you to join me.” “Aye, but I did. I had to. I had to know what was in store... not just for me but for this whole world. And, I have to admit, I'm happy with knowing what I know. But while the spirit is willing, the flesh is pissed drunk.” He groaned. “That's why, once you knock out this big fish bitch, I'm hoofing my maps over to you.” “Y-you are?” “No sense in hoarding them anymore. You go on and take them to where you need to go. I would only slow you down.” His spectacled eyes reflected a young stallion and mare seated side by side. “And—from the looks of it—so would soft-eyes over there.” Rainbow bit her lip. “Jee, Professor... I... I don't know what to say...” “Then don't,” he grunted. “You suck at saying things anyway.” He turned to give her an icy stare. “But what you do matters, eh? A mare of action and flank kicking. It practically drips off of you. Mrmmff... it's something to be proud of.” Rainbow glanced at Twilight, then back at the stallion. “And what of you?” “Me?” He sighed slowly, shrugging his shoulders. “I don't like this world any more than I previously did. But I can someday die in peace... knowing that there's mirth to it.” “And... will you be dying alone?” “If it suits itself.” Silence. Rainbow Dash clenched her jaw shut. With a heavy flap of her wings, she jumped up to her hooves, then came down with a bellowing shout: “Hey! Everypony!” Kaji stopped in mid-speech. He turned from the chuckling crowd to smirk at the pegasus. “What, ho! The blood-letter speaks!” “You all want a killer whizz-bang of a story?!” Rainbow exclaimed. “How about this one time a single pony—against all odds—cleared out a cave full of fire breathing winged lizards?!” She pivoted about. “Or a daring escape from a floating city full of zombie pegasi?! Or a dramatic battle over chaos inside a giant, moving mountain?!” Several of the natives simply exchanged gawking expressions. Even Theanim Mane bore a humored grin. “All certainly tall and gargantuan sounding tales indeed, landwalker!” Kaji said. He smirked wryly. “But are they even worthy of the fire?” “Pffft! Not if I told them,” Rainbow said. “Besides... I'm good at actually going out into the field and doing stuff. Like bleeding a bigflank fish creep.” “Heheheheh.” “Hah hah hah...” She grinned harder. “But I know a certain educated pony who's made for telling stories!” That said, she yanked Sinrar up to his hooves. “Gah!” Sinrar winced, then turned towards her, seething. “Have you lost your mind?!” “Maybe, but you're still holding onto yours,” she said to him. “Go on. Give them something to toss and turn in bed over!” “You damnable harpy! Isn't obvious that I've lived a life of mundanity?!” he spat. “I haven't a story to tell!” “You have plenty of tales to share,” Rainbow said calmly. “Who said that they had to be yours?” He blinked at her. Turning, he gazed at the crowd in a contemplative stupor. “Besides...” Rainbow's brow furrowed. “I know too many of the facts. But you? You're somepony who can share the magic with these ponies,” she said. “And abroad.” “I... erm...” Sinrar gulped, fidgeting on aged limbs. “I-I'm not sure that I'm capable...” “I know, right?” Her eyes narrowed as she smirked. “Hence the adventure...” “They were so close to the end!” Sinrar loudly orated, pacing over the hoofprints that Kaji had left around the bonfire minutes before. “Both airships had been boarded, and the bloody martyrdom of their friend Aatxe had staved off the undead waves! However, the storm was still raging! What's more, the dastardly lizard Razzar had used all his remaining resources to seize the power at the heart of the cursed city!” Everypony listened in amazement. Kaji, Sora, and Silver were on the edge of their seats. Flare and Nick were locked in a mutual, shivering hug, their eyes locked on the professor. “So, in a desperate gamble to throw off the conniving Lounge once and for all, and to destroy all traces of the damnable maretropolis from the skies, the adventurer and her blind friend commandeered the heart of the city and guided the floating structures towards the extreme north, where not even air or water could survive! And in one tumultuous dive, the chaotic field of energy disentregrated everything!” Sinrar's teeth showed with a wicked grin. “It was through sheer guile—and wild mana-powered technology—that the once blind zebra was capable of saving his friend at the last second, carrying her to the two escape ships before they could be consumed by the destructive elements that had devoured the undead menace as a whole!” A collective coo floated across the crowd. The Nealenders began cheering—starting first with the giggles and chirps of the little fillies and colts, but swiftly joined by the stomping hooves and loud whoops of the teenagers and adults. “And so...” Sinrar adjusted his beret and glanced aside with a wry smirk. “...the adventurer and her friends found a way to live another day, spreading harmony and peace where once there was nothing but death and chaos.” Rainbow Dash nodded back, and she smiled. Accompanied by a contented Twilight, she turned tail and trotted away from the flames, disappearing into the night-drenched jungle beyond the edge of the village. As the cheers gradually subsided, Sinrar took a deep breath and turned to face the crowd once again. “Now...” He smirked wickedly. “...who here would like to hear about a crater full of warrior sex ponies?” There wasn't a hoof that wasn't raised.