//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 Left to Lie // Story: Equinophobia: Silvery Lies // by eLLen //------------------------------// Celestia’s hooves fell heavy against the floor of the castle walls, matching the heavy beat of her heart. She sighed, knowing what she was getting herself into. No, what she had already gotten herself into. The goddess knew exactly where her hooves were taking her, but she didn’t enjoy a moment of it. As the high iron doors that signaled the hall’s end approached, she hesitated. The dread pounding against her cranium cried for avoiding the situation entirely and simply turning away. She spent a second considering it, but she knew that that wasn’t a real option in any sense. At best, it would make the whole ordeal worse. At worst, it would make the fall to rock bottom. Reluctance hidden behind her mask of regality, she strode onward toward the iron gates before her. They were heavy when she pushed them, but not because of their weight. The solar goddess knew the task ahead of her would be difficult, risky, and far from simple. She didn’t need to see for herself that they thought her wrong. But Celestia had to—needed to—convince them both. Even with her goal in mind, however, she felt none too reassured. For, on the other side of those doors, were Luna and Twilight. The few she rightfully called family. Then they were there, staring from their seats around the table as Celestia entered. The solar alicorn froze, her hoof still hanging in air as it waited for its next step. The chambers fell into a hushed quietness as two pairs of eyes met hers, apprehension shared all around. The silence reigned for a few more long seconds. Finally, Celestia spoke. “Sister. Twilight.” Luna glared. Twilight said nothing. …Not even a hello. “You’re sickening,” Luna spat, prompting Celestia to heave a sigh. “I know you’re upset, Lulu—” “Don’t call me that.” “…I know you’re upset, but I’d prefer it if we didn’t resort to name calling and remained civil.” “Civil?!” Luna out a hmph. “You’re one to speak.” “At least I am trying to speak.” “At least I am not a—” “Please.” The two sisters glanced to Twilight, surprised at her calm yet stern voice. Returning to a neutral tone, Twilight continued. “Let’s just talk. I have a feeling that there’s a lot we each have to say. Alright? Both of you?” “Fine,” Luna said as she pushed herself into her chair. “Indeed,” Celestia agreed, but while feeling a bit disappointed in herself. To think that my former student must be the voice of reason between us. As Celestia drew up a seat at the table opposite the other two, she couldn’t help but stare at Twilight, probing for any hint of how she felt behind that calm façade. She found none. “So,” Luna said. “So?” “You’re the one that called this meeting. What do you want?” She nodded. “I… I know you both have issue with what I’ve done.” Luna raised an eyebrow. “However,” she continued, “I would like both of you to know that… you’re both family to me. I couldn’t care more about either of you, and I hope that you’ll return the sentiment and allow me a chance.” Silence. Celestia swallowed. “That said, I’d like to say that I believe what I’ve done was not only necessary, but right.” “Ah! How can you—” “Luna, please,” Twilight said, “Give her a moment to speak.” “No! I will not. Didn’t you just hear her? She robbed an innocent being of everything and now she has the audacity to believe she’s doing the right thing.” “No, Luna. It’s not like that,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “Oh, really? Then how would you so kindly put it?” “It was completely consensual.” For the second time, silence tailed behind her words. “She… let you?” the moon goddess said, her voice quieted by surprise. “That’s right. It happened after you left our dreamscape.” “But…” She looked to Twilight. “What do you make of this?” Twilight’s eyes snapped open, caught off guard in her thoughts. “Huh?” “You know Ryan the best out all of us. What do you make of this? At least tell us your thoughts.” The young princess nodded, but drifted away again as she went back into her thoughts. “I… I don’t know. Not yet.” Her eyes locked onto Celestia’s, unreadable as ever. “Could you tell us more of what happened?” “Certainly. Is that alright Luna?” “What? Sure. Go on.” “Mmhm. After you left us, I made due on my promise of making things right. Of apologizing for my wrongdoings to her.” She sighed. “I saw and still do see that I treated her horribly, inexcusably cold, and insensitive. I tried my best to set things right with her, but she was… distant.” Twilight cocked her head. “Distant.” “Yes. She was gone in some sense. All the hope had been leeched out of her once and for all. She ceased caring at all.” “I think I know what you mean,” Twilight said, her voice hushed my memories of Ryan alone and battered in a cell. Celestia hesitated before continuing. “In any case, that was when we agreed on this. In fact, it was her who suggested it.” “She suggested it,” Luna repeated. “Indeed. I expect it came from the time she transformed into a pony.” “No, no, no. That can’t be right. Just… ugh,” she said, pounding her hoof onto the tabletop. “That’s what happened. She didn’t want to suffer any longer, so she asked for a way out.” “Suffering because of what you put her through.” She broke her gaze away. “Yes… But I’ve done everything I can to fix it. I can only hope it’s enough.” Luna’s face shone with conflict before settling on one emotion—disbelief. She shot a quick look to glance to Twilight but only found the younger alicorn still in her own world of thoughts. “I may not have known Ryan,” she said, now facing her sister, “But from what I’ve heard of her, she would never give up like that. She put her loved ones before herself every time.” “You think I’m lying?” “Maybe. But I do think that there’s more to this than what you’ve said.” “…I’m not sure what else to tell you. I speak the truth, honest.” Luna held up her hoof. “Tell me, sister, do you think that Ryan really meant what she said?” “Well, she did say she wanted to look me in the eye when she says how much she hates me.” “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying do you really think Ryan was sincere in her offer? Or was it just a last stab at you? You said it yourself; she was distant and uncaring. I doubt she meant any of it.” I know what you’re saying… To be honest with herself, Celestia wasn’t surprised that her sister would think this. The sun goddess opened her mouth to respond, but froze as she saw the third member of the conversation. Twilight stared without a word, intent and ready to write every word onto her mental notepad. “…I believe that Ryan’s broken state is actually what makes the offer so sincere. She wanted nothing more than a way out, and now I gave her one. Again, I’m sorry I pushed her that far in the first place, but now she’s happy again.” Luna said nothing, content to let out a frustrated “hmph!” “Way out…” Twilight muttered to no one in particular, causing both alicorns to turn toward her. Noticing their attention, she said, “Celestia, may I ask you something?” “Of course.” With a hint of a frown dancing on the corners of her lips, she said, “Did you ever offer to open the gate and send her home?” Celestia didn’t answer right away, instead keeping a suddenly toneless expression on her face. “…Well, I technically didn’t—” “Sister!” Luna hissed, only to be silenced once again by the younger alicorn. “Please, let her talk one more time,” Twilight said to which Luna agreed but while still keeping her cold stare. “You were saying?” The sun goddess nodded with only the smallest movement of her head. “No, I didn’t. However, please hear me out on this. I know I was wrong in my treatment of Ryan, but when she made that offer, I saw an opportunity.” She glanced away, eyes searching through her memories. “An opportunity to benefit both of us and Equestria as a whole. By turning Ryan into a pony, I not only could help her, but also—” Luna cut her off with a snarl. “But also keep the gate closed.” “Well, yes… But need I remind you of the dangers of opening it? Haven’t we discussed this enough?” “Apparently not.” Luna stomped up from her seat, glaring all the way toward her sister. “You keep saying how much you regret abusing Ryan, but you know what? You haven’t changed at all.” “Luna!” “No. You’re still the bigot you were. Even with Ryan broken and at your feet, you still put your own beliefs ahead of her wellbeing.” “I helped her!” “You killed her! We can’t rightfully call her Ryan anymore. You just can’t let go of the past, and now an innocent being has suffered for it. You’re sickening.” With a flick of her mane, Luna strode out the door, leaving behind her dumbstruck sister. Celestia watched her leave for a moment and a few moments after before snapping herself into focus. She tried to take in a deep breath, but couldn’t stop the shudder that lined it. “Luna…” “Celestia?” Twilight said, causing the princess to snap her attention back her way. “Did you really never consider opening the gate? Never once?” She gulped. “I… You have to understand that this was what Ryan needed. I doubt letting her leave would’ve so easily healed her wounds.” “The wounds you caused.” “Please. Don’t be like that.” Twilight sighed as she stood up from the table. “Celestia, I’ll be simple. I feel conflicted about everything I’ve heard. I want to believe you had the best intentions in mind, that you really learned your lesson…” Celestia felt a cold shiver in her spine. “I-I did. I swear I know what I did was wrong.” Ever emotionless, Twilight continued. “You may know what you did was wrong, but you just shifted from ‘for the good of Equestria’ to ‘for the good of Ryan.’ You’re still trying to justify yourself… When you could’ve just let her go home.” Then her tone dropped. Twilight lowered her head, eyes blazing with a restrained anger. “Your sister’s right. You haven’t changed. Despite your apologies, you’re still the prejudice pony on the inside.” Celestia gasped. “No! I’ve changed! Honest…” Her former student only shook her head. “If that were true, you would’ve opened the gateway. No, all you’ve done is destroy someone. A person who, while rude at times, never deserved to be stripped of everything she had. But most of all she was and is my friend, but you took that away too.” She closed her eyes as her horn alit, casting a faint purple around the room. “Celestia, I’ve looked up to you all my life. As a filly, you were my idol with no equal. When you offered to let me be your pupil, I was beyond ecstatic. I couldn’t describe my excitement if I tried. Then as the years passed, I grew closer and closer to you. You were everything I had hoped and more; I daresay you were a second mother to me.” The sun goddess said nothing, only staring with her wide eyes. “Then I became a princess and alicorn. Few times have I been as nervous as then, but you were there encouraging me, and I decided to trust you. Celestia, you’ve meant the world to me all my life, the driving force that kept me dedicated to my studies. But most of all, you’ve been a member of my family.” Her eyes narrowed, flashing with betrayal. “And I’ve never been more disgusted to say that… I’m leaving. I need to fix what you’ve done, hoping it can be fixed. Goodbye, Princess.” As she turned her head upward, no doubt picturing where her teleportation spell would take her, Celestia cried out. “N-no! No, no, no! Twilight, you’ve got to see that—” “You said you would always be here for me. You were wrong.” Then she was gone in a flash of light. The solar goddess went silent as she stared, unmoving, at the spot her former student had occupied moments ago. Then she sniffled. “I…I… I did what was right, didn’t I? I-I fixed Ryan and kept my ponies s-safe.” She slammed her hoof onto the tabletop. Hardly noticing the stream working its way down her cheeks, a hoarse cry erupted from the goddess’ throat. “No, no, no! Oh no… I-I lost both of them. My sister, my student. B-but she’s so much more than a student. And now I’ve lost them. What do I have now?” Her eyes dared to glance around the castle chambers, but she looked away just as quick. “My throne? What good is that when I’m alone? I… I’ve lost them all…” Celestia didn’t bother holding back her sobs as she collapsed against the table, head in her hooves. “I have nothing… “Is… is this what I did to Ryan? Is that what she felt?” As no answer came, she could only weep. The sun set two hours late that evening. On the outskirts of Ponyville, a stallion hummed a gentle tune to himself as he pulled his cart along the road. Stopping to take a breather, he smiled at the sight of the welcome sign just up ahead. “Almost there…” he murmured. The stallion took one last look at his cart and couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of it. He could remember just a week ago when he plastered those words, “Rocky Road Ice Cream,” onto the side of contraption. Speaking of which, he wasn’t even sure it could be called a cart anymore. More like a fridge on wheels, he joked. Readying himself once again, the stallion named Rocky Road set off down the dirt trail, an extra spring in his step. He couldn’t wait for journey from the Crystal Empire to be completed.