Cheerilee continued to smile, and the ponies surrounding the large dining room table continued smiling back. The smiling had been going on for some time now, and Cheerilee’s cheeks were beginning to ache.
A brown mare sitting three spaces to the left leaned over her plate to get a better look. “So nice to meet you,” she said. It was her third time saying it, and the seventieth time Cheerilee had heard it in the last few minutes. Somehow, the mare’s smile widened. Cheerilee caught sight of teeth that no pony outside of an orthodontist should ever see.
“Yes. We’re all so pleased!” A stallion across the table lifted his glass. “A toast to our new sister!”
“I, uh…” Cheerilee just caught herself before she lifted her glass to join with the rest. “I think you all might—”
Juniper waved a hoof, motion for the murmuring crowd to quiet down. “Now, now. Don’t get ahead of yourselves. It’s time for dinner right now. There will be plenty of time for vows later.” He rolled his eyes at Cheerilee when a disappointed groan rose from the table. “Sorry. They’re all really excited.”
Licking her lips and trying to force a smile again, Cheerilee found it difficult to see the exciting part of any of this. Well, I guess a rapidly escalating sense of unease possibly transitioning into panic is exciting…
The day had started out so promisingly. She’d rolled out of bed feeling especially fresh and invigorated. Her shower had been just the right temperature. She’d gone out to the market and found that Golden Harvest was having a sale on her favorite carrots and leafy greens, and when she’d passed her bits over the counter, the mare had tossed in two more carrots with a saucy wink.
Trotting home with a spring in her step, she’d been delighted to see that the mail had come early for once. It always seemed to arrive just as she’d settled into the comfiest nook of her settee to grade papers. She would try to ignore it, but eventually she’d have to get up and check what was in there before she could concentrate again.
Leafing quickly through the letters, she’d nearly passed it up. Halfway to shuffling it to the back of the stack, she’d paused and returned the envelope to the front. The name on the return address tugged at the edges of her memory. Surely it couldn’t be that Juniper.
Now, surrounded by aggressively cheerful ponies, she sorely wished that it hadn’t been. She fought back a small shriek when several of them edged closer. “Vows? Look, if you think we’re getting married, you’re—”
The table broke out into braying laughter. A pony across the table banged his hoof on the table and wiped a little moisture from his eye. Beside her, a mare giggled while she patted Cheerilee on the back.
Cheerilee had never felt happier to have a reason to frown. “Uh…”
At the head of the table, Juniper’s smile was just a touch less radiant than it had been. It had softened, somehow conveying tolerance, disapproval, and forgiveness all in one neat arc. “Brothers and sisters, The Great Horned One appreciates your enthusiasm, but let us not laugh at our guest when we should be inviting her to laugh with us.”
A periwinkle unicorn mare at the other end of the table leapt to her hooves. “Please laugh with us!” she said, her eyes wide and sparkling.
“Yeah!” A stallion jumped up to join here. “Let’s all get Sister Cheerilee to laugh, and then we’ll laugh, too!”
Cheerilee slowly pushed away from the table as a cacophonous chorus of knock-knock jokes and one-liners assaulted her from all sides, but started when her chair’s back hit the wall behind her. She hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but craning her neck to see past the improvised napkin puppet the stallion opposite her was attempting to get her attention with, she realized that her seat at the table was as far from the door as it could be. Swallowing, she turned to Juniper. “Look, I don’t want to seem narrow-minded, but your letter just said you wanted me to come over for dinner. It didn’t say anything about—”
“I thought it would be nice to get reacquainted after all these years. We really had something back in college, didn’t we?” Juniper tugged the pegasus to his right back into his seat. The over-eager stallion had been attempting to climb onto the table to give Cheerilee a better look at his chicken dance. “Get down, Comet. You’re going to knock over the gravy boat.”
The business end of a blaring party horn whacked into Cheerilee’s nose, and she swatted it away. “Well, if you wanted to get reacquainted, someplace a little more, you know, private would have been better, don’t you think?”
Juniper’s face clouded over for a moment. “I’m not sure I—oh!” The stallion chuckled to himself. “Maybe I should have majored in communications instead of cultural history.”
Cheerilee’s eyes narrowed. Beside her, a stallion leaned in and began a story about a two lost guards and their misadventures with an inebriated monkey, but his gleeful voice was muffled when she caught his face in the sole of her hoof. Without taking her eyes from Juniper, she pushed the stallion away. “And that means what, exactly?”
“I guess I was just unclear, that’s all. I wanted you to come over and get reacquainted with the love and peace that Grogar can offer you.”
The din surrounding her died instantly, and the ponies bowed their heads as one. “Grogar, may your strong back support us, and may your beard shine in the darkness!”
Cheerilee’s eyes traveled slowly around the room before stopping on Juniper. “Uh, what do you mean reacquainted? I’ve never met anypony named Grogar, and I’m pretty sure I’d remember a glowing beard.”
“Hey, you can’t—”
“How dare you—“
Juniper shot to his hooves. “Silence! You were all once as she is now! Do you deny it?” All around the room, eyes fell to the floor. “We’re here to bring Cheerilee back into the sacred hooves of Grogar, not to chastise her for being Unawoken.”
Murmurred apologies washed over her as Cheerilee squinted at the door on the far side of the room. It was a fair distance away, beyond a wall of ponies with wide, earnest eyes and hooves that opened and closed repeatedly. Hooves that seemed ready to welcome by force, if necessary. Cheerilee turned to Juniper once again and opened her mouth.
“I know exactly how you feel. It was a shock to me, as well.” His jubilant words came rushing out as he swept his hoof around the room. “To all of us. One day, you’re just living your life, unaware that you are, in truth, sleepwalking. Then the glorious light of Grogar’s shining beard pierces the night’s darkness, and your memory of his love returns! You’ll be so happy now, Cheerilee! Once you’ve donated all of your bits and personal belongings to Grogar’s Assemblage, you can be wed to him as we are!” He rose and placed both forehooves on the table. “And the best part is that you can spread the message directly to the youth! We have an entire foal-oriented, Grogar-approved lesson plan that can hasten the Awakening of so many before they waste countless years walking in darkness!” Juniper’s eyes blazed, and a creeping smile worked its way across his face, seeming to Cheerilee that it twisted and curled in all the wrong ways.
Forcing a wide grin, Cheerilee curled her legs beneath her. “So let me get this straight. All I have to do is give up everything I’ve worked my whole life for and agree to only teach foals what Grogar wants them to hear, and in return I can stay here with all of you?”
“Yes, but not only that,” Juniper said while holding his hooves out to her, “You can be reunited with the universal love of Grogar!” He nodded to the periwinkle pegasus. “Dewdrop here told me that she was on cloud duty with Rainbow Dash, who had told her that you were having some challenges in life. Well, I just couldn’t let an old flame walk on black roads when I had light to share! I know that together we—hey!”
Scooping up a bowl of salad, she tossed it into the face of the stallion across from her, then vaulted over the table. He gave a surprised grunt when she slammed into him with her shoulder. As he fell to the floor, she hit the ground running.
“Get her!” Juniper fumbled with his chair, half-falling as he struggled to get out from around it. “She can’t be allowed to leave until she sees the beard’s guiding light! She’ll need a few weeks in the Grogarium!”
Cheerilee lowered her head and crashed through the door, thanking her lucky stars that the cult had decided to skimp on quality décor. Manic, gibbering cries bizarrely reminiscent of bleating echoed out behind her. She’d just cleared the jamb when several wild-eyed ponies head erupted from the doorway. As the acolytes slammed into each other, their heads collided with hollow thunks. They reached out after her with clutching hooves as they fought to exit first.
Cheerilee stopped for just a moment to catch her breath. Several dozen yards away, the cultists were snarling and trying to push each other out of the way. Her heart was pounding, but she spurred herself back into motion. She had a letter to Princess Celestia to write. Good to know, I guess. I’m desperate, but not that desperate!