"Is Season 2 over yet?" I asked, playing with a Green Lantern ball.
"Well, you wouldn't be bored if you trained-"
Mew tossed an apple at my head, "Or do some chores, or get a job, or stop watching pay-per-view channels-"
"That was Eevee Mon." I said, pointing at the humanoid Eevee staring at a TV, crying about some guy named 'Flash Sentry' and 'Brad'. "He needs help."
Moe Mew sighed with a hand on his head, "You know, I need you to go upstairs and check on Gilgamesh." The very mention of his name made everything seem to stop and Cortana had to reboot herself.
We tossed our rings into our subspace pocket, turning to Mew. "Gilgamesh? As in Final Fantasy goof ball warrior?"
"No. The fat lard mooching off my money to stay in his motel. I have to work two jobs for that guy." Mew shook his head before flying over from the kitchen doorway to the couch I sat on. "Make sure he has my jelly made."
"Jelly?" I asked.
"He makes the best jellies and jams. Its my secret recipe for some of my food, but he released the secret so that his methods are secret. If you see anything questionable, inform me."
I got up and saluted, "Aye Aye, Captain my captain!" I turned into my Danny Phantom form, phasing through the ceiling/floor. I stopped when I saw organs, going back down and circling to knock on his front door. I reverted to normal, watching as the door opened to... oh my gosh...
This guy was sooo big that he seemed to be part of the apartment. "Who is it?" He asked in a god-like voice, but Gilgamesh sounding.
"I-I-I am the G-Great-t F-Fandom Man, sir!" I said, looking for his head in that mass of man.
He moved parts of himself around, assumed to be a poise, "I am the Mighty Gilgamesh! Ronin of the drive-throughs and master of jelly making!" He must've thought that I stared at him with awe... all I saw were spazzing limbs and water-like waves. "Are you not amazed?!"
I found his head and gave him a stink eye, "For one thing, I'm not deaf! Can you quiet yourself?!"
"Nay! I am already at a whisper!"
"Anyway, where's the jelly? You owe Mew."
"I about to make some!"
To spare your imagination, turns out he makes the worst jelly ever. How does Mew not see or even taste the difference?! As Red Ranger Humungosaur I pushed him out of the motel, only to be pulled out with him and sat on... I think. If I cant find his face at first glance, I could be under his foot or something!
"You cant defeat me."
I transformed into Way Big... only to still be under him. How big is this guy? For those of you who think you're fat, you have a normal life span to not become Shamoo here. Make the days count. "You wanna go flubber?!"
"What else is under there?! Why do I hear bells?"
As the music played I shifted into Big Chuck- my only fusion alien -and ate some ground chunks, giving me enough power to pop out from under him and face the guy. I transformed into my DeadPool form, running up his arm as he swiped at me. I teleported around his odd attacks he somehow controlled his flaps to do.
I then decided to taunt him, bouncing on one spot, dancing on another part, riding a store ride Pinkie Pie on one spot. "I wasted a quarter on this?!"
Pinkie looked back at me, "Well, sorry! I don't ride like that." She bucked me off the plastic sattle, flying off with rocket hooves as I bounced off his blob and soared over his tiny head.
"Gilgamesh's body is like a temple! Your body is not!" I said as I tossed ninja stars at him. Fat Gilgamesh let out a roar, slowly rising as the ground shook. I looked down- "How did you even fit in that motel room?!"
"I will destroy you!" He spat.
I teleported to the top of a tall building, a little over his size. I reverted to my normal form, wearing 3D maneuver gear. I took out the blades, flying down towards him as I allowed my cape to materialize behind me.
I didn't latch onto anything, I just fell. As soon as I gained enough momentum I took out a portal gun and fired two portals before pocketing the gun and fell through one portal, fall up out of the other as I harpooned a wall and pulled myself around him.
"Cortana," I said, landing on Gilgamesh and running up his back. "Any atoms he doesn't need, we acquire and synthesize into needed metals."
It wasn't noticeable then, but every time my foot touched him, his fat and dead skin would be absorbed and synthesized into my armor. I saw my armor glow in rainbow energy that repaired damages Celestia and Luna made years ago. What? I don't have enough money for a forge.
"Access metal is transferred to extra armors, attachments, gear, custom weapons, and new armor."
"New armor?"
"Its going to be lighter and more durable. Looks remotely the same and will have more efficient power output."
"Can I wear it now?"
Wait for Season 3. Mew Two said as he and Mew flew to help me, the latter holding a bucket of water, mouthwash, toothbrush, and toothpaste in his aura, scrubbing his mouth like his life depended on it. I really hate this guy... He gives Gilgamesh a bad name!
Tell me about it! Mew thought back. I'm gonna be scarred for weeks!
Gilgamesh took out a nagatama and opened a rift in space... big enough to stick is half of himself through. I rolled my eyes, pulling myself up him rapidly as I transformed into my saiyan form in mid-air. "Convert some of the blast." I positioned my arms to my side, gathering energy as my uncontrollable plasma ball became more or less stable. I forced the energy into one hand and chunked it, "Orga Blaster!" By that title, I turned it into a powerful beam that seemed to obliterate Gilgamesh.
A fist from below slammed into my bottom jaw. After barely moving and catching the arm of my attacker, I saw a bone-thin Gilgamesh holding himself together.
Mew barfed in a bucket, flying over, Great! Now I have nurse him back to health... Actually, I don't.
"What're ya gonna do to me?!" Gilgamesh asked. Mew took out a costume, forcing it on Gilgamesh as we neared the ground. He wore an odd costume that resembled parts of a vacuum as Mew gathered energy in his finger.
I call upon the power of Faust! The ground shook as a giant white alicorn stuck her head into our world, her red mane flowing in the wind. Can I change his character? You know what he's done! She shook her head. Can I make it temporary? The alicorn made a silent sigh and nodded, giving some magic to Mew. Creator bless you.
Oscar, I think I'm scared of Mew...
I looked up at Cyborg Mew Two in disbelief, "But you're never scared!"
Exactly. He has access to Lady Fausticorn! I heard that she stays out of worlds so that she doesn't sneeze it into oblivion.
*VVVRRRRRRRR*
Oscar finished the day, vacuuming his own motel room and Mew's motel room. He enjoyed the many weapons he got from the last owner. The vacuum glared up at him, "Uuuuuuuuu suuuuuuuuuck, duuuuuuuuude!"
I laughed at him, "Well, I'm not the perverted vacuum. I bet you cant make jelly now!" I then remembered something, "Why am I using you? I'm getting new carpet tomorrow!"
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"