//------------------------------// // 162. Pinkie Apple Pie - Part 2 // Story: Blaze the Pony Tale // by Wolven5 //------------------------------// “GEDDITOFF, GEDDITOFF!!!” Midnight screamed bloody-mary, cringing from the agony of his wing pinned by the collapsed wagon. Hurrying, Applejack and Macintosh both lifted the wagon, Midnight jerking his wing out and wincing as he held it out, whimpering, “How bad is it…?!” “Oh quit yer belly-achin’ ya big baby!” Granny Smith grumbled, “C’mere, Ah’ve treated a few pegasus wings in mah time.” Luckily, among the many – Many! – items Big Mac had packed, they included a first-aid kit and Granny Smith had some experience in treating ponies sick and injured. While Granny Smith looked at Midnight’s wing, Apple Bloom, Twinken, and Pinkie regarded the mess as Applejack threw a stink eye at her cringing brother, “Big Mac!! Ah thawt y’said-” She noticed Pinkie looking at them and bit back her bite, “Uh- Not… that Ah’m blamin’ you cuz’… we don’ blame in this family!” Then she signaled Big Mac to distance from Pinkie while muttering to him, “But Ah that you said this stuff wasn’t gonna be too heavy.” Big Mac answered by literally getting up in Applejack’s face with his eyes narrowed. “How’re we gonna get to Goldie Delicious now?” Twinken asked in worry. “Ah dunno but Ah don’ see how we can go back now either. Wer’ closer t’ Cousin Goldie’s than we are t’ home,” Granny Smith said as she wrapped Midnight’s wing, the big blue baby quivering his lip. She tightened the wrap, Midnight biting back a whimper as Granny Smith said, “Now, it’s just a sprain but Ah don’ want ya flyin’ for a few days, a week t’ be safe.” “Thank you, Granny Smith…” Midnight shrugged as he carefully folded his wing to his barrel, looking embarrassed. “Sorry for being a drama-prince…” “Oh don’ you worry none, haystack,” Granny Smith gave him a hug when Pinkie popped up. “I have the best… idea… ever!” she clapped her hooves and squealed like an excited filly as she stood by the river, “FAMILY RIVER TRIP!!!” “That sounds like a nice idea, Pinks, except… we don’t have a raft,” Midnight sighed before muttering, “Possibly the one thing Mac didn’t pack…” This caused the two brothers to glare icicles into each other’s faces when Granny Smith spoke up while stepping up to a tree that for some inexplicable reason had a squirrel stuck to it by something, “Well back in th’ ol’ day we used t’ use th’ sap from a sugar pine tree t’ glue thangs together.” “Well tha’ is fascinatin’,” Applejack responded unsurely, as she and the rest of her siblings shared some bewildered looks. “Don’ know tha’ it’s helpful but it is fascinatin’.” “Not helpful, mah patootey,” Granny Smith remarked as she pushed a wheel out of the way, “Wer’ gonna build ourselves raft outta these here jalopy parts and keep it held t’gether wit’ sugar pine sap!” “Let’s do it, it sounds like fun!” Twinken smiled, liking Granny Smith’s idea. “Hmm, worth a shot,” Applejack shrugged as her older brothers both smiled in agreement, Pinkie whooping, “Whoo-hoo!” In no time at all, the family had thrown together a seaworthy (riverworthy?) raft, and Granny Smith smiled proudly to see the sap held. But just to be on the safe side, Applejack and Midnight had both insisted on some vines for extra precaution. “Huh, could be worse.” “Now this time, we’re only taking what’s absolutely necessary,” Midnight insisted rather loudly at Big Mac who was just looking the stuff over. Strangely enough, the stuff Big Mac packed included some life-vests although he'd packed only enough for the others and forgot one for himself, so he opted for few floaties. “Wait a second!” Pinkie popped out of the pile of stuff and- *SNAP* The family all blinked from the sudden camera flash, Pinkie saying, “This one is for the scrapbook!” Giggling, she pulled out an album from her saddlebag, revealing several photos she’d apparently taken while they’d been on the road and singing. Besides the photos, there were little decorations glued in, like buttons, stickers, etc. The family was honestly surprised because none of them remembered seeing Pinkie take any of these shots, Applejack asking, “Pinkie Pie, when did ya have time t’ make this?” Pinkie responded first by putting the album away and with a flat look, “Applejack… When you’re family, you make the time!” The boys couldn’t help but chuckle at Applejack’s expression when Midnight shouted, “Cast off!” Big Mac pushed the raft from shore, sending them on their way. Thankfully the current did most of the work, the lot of them whooping when Pinkie felt her ears flop and she announced, “Say ‘soaked’!” The Apple Family looked at her in confusion when they felt the raft drop, and- *SPLASH/FLASH* Later on, the family was just cruising and relaxing. AJ kept her hooves on the wheel, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom played checkers, Midnight read a book, Twinken watched the passing scenery, and Pinkie and Macintosh were having some conversation that carried depth. “…so what you’re saying is, if I have the courage to jump, the parachute will open.” “Eeyup,” Big Mac nodded. “Whoa…! That’s deep!” “Eeyup!” “Uh-oh!” All eyes turned to Applejack as she turned to them, “Alright, y’all, please tell me tha’ the map din’t get wet, `cause it looks like Ah’m gonna need it right about now!” They looked ahead to see the river split into a three-way fork. Eyes turned to and fro, looking for that map when Apple Bloom spied it atop the pile, “Found it!” before she started showing off. "Who’s got th’ map? Ah’ve got th’ map! M t’ th’ A t’ th’, tha’s right, P! Ain’t no other pony tha’ find map like me, Ah’m Apple- Uh-oh!" Unfortunately, in her showing off, Apple Bloom dropped the map, causing the rolled-up paper to bounce about the rear of the raft and the siblings all scrambled to get it, only to let it slip through their hooves as it fell towards the water, and wind up in the mouth of an errant fish. And before they knew it, an eagle had swooped down, taking the fish, and the map with it, Pinkie snapping the moment while Apple Bloom laughed sheepishly as her siblings all gave her a collective stink eye. “All ya had t’ do was bring it t’ me,” Applejack said through her teeth while trying to keep her voice low. “No singing, no dancing, no games!” added a miffed Midnight. Twinken hissed, “Just had to fork it over!” “Eeyup!” growled Big Mac. “Say ‘best siblings ever’!” At once the Apple Siblings pulled on nervous grins for the camera, Apple Bloom smushed in the middle between AJ and Mac, with Midnight and Twinken on each respective side. “Ooh! That’s another keeper!” Pinkie squealed, not noticing the moment passed and the siblings again glaring at the filly. “It’s okay, y’all!” Granny Smith assured, “Ah traveled down this river as a filly an’ Ah know it like th’ back o’ mah hoof!” “Are y’sure you know which way t’ go?” Applejack asked as they approached the fork. “Does a junebug like t’ hide in a tree?” “Uh… Ah don’ know.” “Well Ah do know, and Ah also know we wanna head southeast,” Granny Smith said as she shoved Applejack over to take the wheel, “Now step aside, young’un!” As they took the right, Midnight spoke up, “Uh… Granny?” “Yeah-huh?” “Are we supposed to go through a… cave?” Midnight pointed it out to them all, as the river led right into a dark and dismal cave, a curtain of moss hanging over the mouth. “Oh don’ worry, sonny!” Granny Smith waved it off, “Th’ scariest cave in Equestria was down tha’ other way.” Hearing that, Apple Bloom and Twinken both hugged Big Mac fearfully, “Sc-scariest Cave in Equestria?” “Oh issa fright aw’right,” Granny Smith said somewhat dramatically with her big ol’ eyes, “filled wit’ creatures that’ll eat ya soon as lookit’cha!” “Ooh…! Sounds scary… Tell us more!” Pinkie pressed. “Ponies go in, but they ne’er come out…” Granny Smith said in a spooky voice, the Apple Siblings sharing disturbed looks while Pinkie just clapped her hooves in excitement. “And… you’re sure it’s not that cave?” Midnight wanted to confirm, “The one we’re headed straight for?” “Now Midnight, wha’ have Ah told ya `bout questionin’ yer elder ponies?” Granny snapped, but the both of them remembered Pinkie was watching, Midnight chuckling nervously as he patted his grandmother warmly on the shoulder. “Uh-heh-heh, that it’s… not polite?” “Alrighty then! Now everypony jus’ sit on back an’ leave th’ steerin’ t’ yer ol’ Granny Smith,” Granny Smith assured in a confident manner. As the mouth of the cave loomed over them, the Siblings felt the shiver of its shadow once it fell upon them, and they were lost in the darkness. … … “See now? Told you this was-” *ROAR* “AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!” “WHAAUGH!!!” “EEEEK!!!" *FLASH* “Got it!!” *ROAR/SNARL* “DAUAHHGH!!!” "AAARRRRGGHHH!!!!” "YAAAAUGH!” “Best scary unidentifiable creature ever!!!” “WhaAHahAHahAHAHAH!!!" “AAAAIIEIEE!!” “GAAAUGHGH!!” “Say ‘terrified’!!” “BWAUGHAAAUGHYAUGH!!!!!” At the other side of the cave, the raft floated out, Pinkie humming merrily, Granny Smith’s eyes widened in shock while the Apple Siblings clutched each other, Big Mac chattering his teeth, his younger brothers and sisters hugging him, Applejack shivering madly, Apple Bloom’s eyes the widest out of them all, Twinken whimpering as he sat on top of Midnight’s head, while Midnight had his eyes covered. “…Guess tha’ was th’ Scariest Cave in Equestria,” Granny Smith admitted, her grandchildren all suddenly glaring daggers at her. “Dah… O’ course Ah meant t’ take us through it – Unexpected adventure is good for th’ soul.” “Best Granny wisdom ever!” Pinkie praised, to Granny Smith’s beaming pride as she resumed her hold on the wheel. “Uh-huh, why don’cha just scooch on over there, Granny?” Applejack gently shoved Granny Smith aside. “Think Ah’ll take it from here on out.” “Wha- Is tha’ how Ah taught you t’ treat yer elder ponies?!” Granny Smith snapped, trying to take control of the wheel again. “Ooh! Ooh! Is it?” “You taught me t’ trust muh common sense,” Applejack said with narrowed eyes but keeping her tone steady to sound reasonable. “An’ mah common sense says, we should get t’ Goldie Delcious’ cabin in one piece!” “An’ tha’ is exactly wha’ Ah’m gonna do!” Granny Smith started getting ornery and possessive over the wheel. “Tha’ is mighty generous of you, but Ah think you’ve done enough for one day.” “An’ how exactly are ya gonna know which way t’ go?” “Hmmm?” Pinkie inquired, never losing her smile. “It would be easier if th’ map hadn’t gone overboard,” Applejack threw a stink eye towards Apple Bloom. “Hey! It wouldn’a gone overboard if Twinken r’ Midnight grabbed it wit’ their magic!” Apple Bloom said in the same accusing tone. “Maybe we would have, if Big Mac’s over-packing the jalopy hadn’t gotten in the way!” Twinken snubbed. “Eeyu- Hey!” Big Mac threw a look at Twinken, “Maybe it wouldn’a been in th’ way if somepony had used a spell r’ something t’ keep th’ jalopy from collapsin’!” “Well excuse me for having an ailment that messes with my magic, mister pony-lamer!” Midnight snapped back. “Exactly,” Applejack said in a smarmy tone as though everypony had made her case for her. “So Ah think we can all agree tha’ from here on out, Ah should be in charge o’ everything.” Unfortunately, Applejack’s attempt to put things her way had the opposite effect as all of a sudden, the whole Apple Family started arguing and hoofing the wheel, trying to turn it one way or another until… *SLIP* They watched with drooped ears as the wheel sailed overhead into the water well behind them, a duck getting its head stuck in the spokes, and oddly enough another eagle swooping the necessary item away. All Apples glared daggers at Applejack, making her chuckle awkwardly when Pinkie came to her rescue. “I just wanna say that I think you’re all super-duper and I can’t wait to make the page in my scrapbook about the amazing waterfall we all went down!” As if on cue, the roar of a waterfall had their undivided attention. Suddenly there was panic, some of them trying to paddle to shore, others rocking the boat, but the inevitable occurred and they all went over. And of course, while everypony’s screaming their heads off, Pinkie’s going, “WHEEEEEEE!!!” And of course, she snapped more photos for the scrapbook. Midnight managed to regain enough clearheadedness to flare his horn…! *KER-SPLASH* To everypony’s bewilderment, they were in one piece and still afloat. *THUMP* “Midnight!” Twinken yelled and they looked to see Midnight was out cold as his colt brother worried, “I think he used magic to keep the boat together!” “Oh fiddlesticks, tha’ sugar pine sap’s what held this thang t’gether,” Granny Smith scoffed, only to eat her words when Pinkie Pie floated down via her balloons. Because at the barest touch of her hooves… *CRACK/SPLASH* The raft split in two, dunking everypony in the drink. After getting ashore and dried off, the Apple Family walked the rest of the way, groaning from their achy joints, Big Mac dragging the remains of the jalopy, Granny Smith and Midnight on it with the last of the stuff Big Mac had packed. Only Pinkie retained her cheer, which she did when she announced, “We’re here! We’re here! We made it to Goldie Delicious’s’s’s’s’s!” She then noticed something on the door, “You guys! There’s a note!” She then went quiet, her eyes going over the note, giggling a bit, Applejack suggesting the obvious, “Uh, Pinkie Pie? Maybe you could read that out loud?” “Oh right! Sorry, I haven’t even read it yet, I was just looking at how pretty the paper is!” Pinkie clarified Midnight facehooving irritably. “OK! It says that she ran off to run some errands but will be home soon. Ah! That’s perfect!” “Why is that perfect…?” Twinken sighed wearily. “Because it will give me enough time to get more scrapbook paper!” Pinkie then bounced past them, “Be right back!” Once Pinkie was out of earshot, Apple Bloom said what everypony was thinking, “Worst family road trip ever.” “Eeyup…” Big Mac agreed lowly. “Ah cain’t believe she witnessed our fam’ly fallin’ apart like this,” Applejack felt so ashamed as she looked to her grandmother. “Ah cain’t believe Ah was arguin’ wit’ you so much tha’ Ah tore th’ wheel right off the raft. It’s like I wasn’t mahself at all…” “Aw, that wasn’t yer fault,” Granny Smith assured, feeling just as low, “Mah stubborn streak got a hold o’ me somethin’ fierce! Should’a let you take th’ wheel long before that.” “It was mah fault we lost th’ map,” Apple Bloom said sadly. Twinken shook his head as he began to tear up, “No… I should’ve been quick to grab it before it fell out of the raft.” “An’ Ah was th’ pony who over-packed th’ jalopy it collapsed an’ hurt yer wing, lil’ brother,” Big Mac said to Midnight. “Ah guess Ah was jus’ so eager t’ please Pinkie.” “Well, I should’ve taken some remedy to fix my migraine before we ever left,” Midnight admitted with a sigh. “Then maybe all these troubles could’ve been avoided.” “Everypony, Ah think we have t’ let Pinkie Pie know tha’ even if she does discover she’s an Apple,” Applejack spoke up, “tha’ she does not have t’ feel obliged t’ consider herself one.” “Sure as applesauce,” Granny Smith agreed dismally. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” They all looked to see Pinkie had just returned, with some arts & craft stuff, “You guys are the best family ever!” “How can ya say that?!” Applejack was incredulous to Pinkie’s words, “We started out as one big unit – Now lookit us…” “Yeah! Now look at you!” Pinkie pointed out, “You’re all still one big unit, loving each other and owning up to what went wrong! You never gave up, even when things got tough!” “She does make a good point,” Twinken couldn’t help but smile. “Eeyup, after all – Wha' fam’ly is perfect?” agreed Big Mac. “You aren’t just family!” Pinkie went on while giving Applejack a tackling hug, “You’re best friends!! And now I wanna be an Apple more than ever!” “An’ we want you t’ be one too!” Apple Bloom cheered to Pinkie’s delight. “Now that’s how y’run an errand!” They all turned to the sound of the new voice and saw an earth pony mare around Granny Smith’s age coming their way. She had a light amber coat, pale blond mane all curly, she wore a pink shawl held together by a clasp, and saddlebags stuffed with cats. Her cutie-mark was an apple tree. “Hello…!” Pinkie greeted her. “Hello, yourself,” responded the old mare kindly. “You must be Goldie Delicious,” Applejack approached, “nice t’ meet you.” “An’ who exactly are y’all?” Goldie asked. “Wer’ Apples!” Pinkie declared with her forelegs raised up. “Well, we think we’re all Apples," clarified Midnight, "except we need your help figuring out if Pinkie Pie here is our fourth cousin twice removed.” “Well why din’cha say so? If anypony can solve this genealogical mys’try, it’s me,” Goldie said surely as she stepped up to her door. For some reason she had a hay of a time getting it open, “Well, huh, sorry about this, Ah… wasn’ exactly expectin’ company. Lemme see if’n Ah can just squeeze…!” They all flinched as the cats in Goldie’s bags yowled as she literally squeezed through the door,finally getting in. “All righty then,” Goldie’s voice said from inside, as odds and ends and brick and brac, as well as cats, were being thrown out the door. “Jus’ have t’ move a few things… outta th’ way o’ the door- Ooh! Ah! Get off tha’, Mr. Puppy! The yowls and hisses and rowers of cats were as disturbing as the pile of junk growing before them. “C’mon, Pooples, c’mere, sweetheart!” Finally Goldie stuck her head out, “C’mon in!” As they walked in, they flinched at the sight before them, Goldie apologizing, “Sorry `bout th’ mess.” The cabin was so cluttered and packed, it was a wonder anypony could live in there, much less with a questionable amount of cats that included a cheetah! “Can you say ‘crazy cat lady’?” Midnight muttered to Mac, who, ordinarily would’ve nudged Midnight to remember his manners, but was just as weirded out and so said, “Eeyup…” “Whoa!” Applejack felt her hooves clatter something and saw it was some old rusty horseshoes. “Careful now,” Goldie said, “those belonged t’ yer great-great-great uncle Apple Tart.” “Whose was this?” Apple Bloom pointed out a gingerbread house that looked like somepony had taken a bite out of it. “Oh tha’ was my lunch… a couple o’ weeks ago,” Goldie admitted as she shooed some of her cats aside and grabbed a HEAVY book. “An’ this here…! It’s th’ complete record of our family tree.” She propped it up and opened it, “Now, th’ Apple Family didn’t get started till a very long time ago.” She turned to the first few pages. “Our first known relative t’ use th’ name ‘Apple’ lived o’er a thousand years ago!” Goldie explained. “His name was Apple Corps, and he din’t start off as a farmer – He first worked as a member o’ Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard.” “Cool…!” Twinken commented, enthralled by the family history. “Yes indeed! Apple Corps then met wit’ a poor young mare who’d lost everything, her fam’ly, her home, and had nothin’ to her name," Goldie went on. “Apple Corps took pity on this poor filly an’ dried her tears. Somewhere `long th’ line they fell in love an’ the rest was our history.” “Wha’ was th’ mare’s name?” asked Applejack. “Hoo, she was a rare beauty,” Goldie nodded. “Believe it or not, th’ Apple Family actually has crystal pony blood! This mare was from th’ Crystal Empire, an’ was th’ only one to escape before it vanished for all them years!” Goldie’s words caused Applejack and Big Mac to look in shock towards Midnight, who was also flabbergasted and it was confirmed once Goldie said, “Her name was Autumn Wheat. Now mind you, she was already with foal when she an’ Apple Corps met. Tha’ din’ bother him none, Apple Corps loved Autumn’s child as though she were his own, and their family was even better after they had a colt and gave th’ lil’ filly a baby brother.” Now they knew. But they didn’t say it as Goldie said, “Oop! Sorry, sugars, got a lil’ sidetracked. Now let’s see...” They watched as Goldie went through the pages, muttering, “S’not here, or here… Well, it certainly ain’t here… Oh, here it is! …Oh dear.” “‘Oh dear’? Wha’ is it?” Granny Smith asked. “Am I not an Apple after all?” Pinkie asked with a fretful heart. “Well tha’s just it, Ah dunno!” Goldie scrunched her eyes, “Th’ page is all smudged there!” Pinkie looked for herself and felt her spirits sink for the first time that day. “Ah sure am sorry, but it seems Ah can’t help you after all,” Goldie said sadly. “Don’t be sorry,” Pinkie assured even with her dampened spirit, “It’s okay, I’m… just a little disappointed that I’ll never know for sure if I’m a part of this family.” Applejack narrowed her eyes before stamping her hoof, “Well Ah know f’sure!” “Whattya mean?! You can’t know,” Pinkie debated. “I think what AJ means is, that we can know for sure it doesn’t matter what the book says or doesn’t say,” Midnight explained, Applejack nodding as the Apple Family smiled in agreement. “After all you’ve been through wit’ us, an’ all you put up with,” Applejack said with a firm smile, “it’s obvious yer an’ Apple to the core!” “Darn-tootin’!” “Yessiree!” “We wouldn’t have it any other way!” “Eeyup!” Pinkie squealed happily and pulled them all into a group hug. “Say… ‘best family hug ever’!” “BEST FAMILY HUG EVER!!!” *FLASH* With the final addition to her scrapbook, Pinkie jumped aboard the wagon, to which Big Mac and Midnight were strapped to, Applejack saying, “ Thanks again fer th’ wagon, Goldie! We’ll see ya soon!” “Eh, y’all sure you don’ wanna take any o’ these Apple family heirlooms home wit’ ya?” Goldie asked, and the ‘heirlooms’ chose a bad time to jumble out the door in a clutter. The mares and foals in the wagon looked to the stallions who both said, “Nnope!” And with their mission complete, they started for home while Goldie added a new family photo to the wall in her cabin. [The Apple Family] We’re Apples forever Apples together We’re family but we’re so much more! No matter what comes we will face the weather We’re Apples to the core! Eeyup! Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Big Mac started unloading the wagon with the foals’ help while inside Applejack, Midnight, Granny Smith, and Pinkie had the friendship journal. “Twilight agreed tha’ this would be worth puttin’ in th’ journal,” Applejack said. “Think Ah’ll write about how bein’ a good family isn’t about bein’ perfect as much as it is about bein’ able t’ get through th’ rough patches t’gether.” “Like being able to forgive each other for their mistakes,” Midnight added with a nod when Apple Bloom and Twinken came in, the filly saying, “Don’ ferget t’ mention how really good friends can also feel like yer family.” She demonstrated so by giving Pinkie Pie a hug, Big Mac stepping in with a “Eeyup!” Applejack almost grabbed the writing quill only for Twinken to get in the way, “I think I should write it. Cheerilee did give me first place for last week’s essay contest.” “Well Ah have a history o’ excellent story-tellin’,” Granny Smith stepped forward, “Ah should probably- Hey!” All eyes turned to Big Mac, who had the quill in his mouth, Granny Smith snapping, “Where in th’ haystack do ya think yer goin’ wit’ tha’ there pen?!” Almost at once the arguing resumed, Midnight groaning as he covered his head with his good wing, Pinkie just giggling, “Lookit me – I’m part of the apple Family too! I’m arguing! Argue-argue-argue! Bicker-bicker!” Midnight groaned that he flashed out of the house, migraine be damned. A split second of a splitting headache was worth escaping that racket.