//------------------------------// // 161. Pinkie Apple Pie - Part 1 // Story: Blaze the Pony Tale // by Wolven5 //------------------------------// It was a lazy day at Sweet Apple Acres, the residents bored and trying to find something to do. Yesterday they’d gotten so much work done there was next to nothing to do for chores today. So, Granny Smith got caught up on her knitting, Apple Bloom and Twinken played marbles, Applejack, Midnight, and Big Mac played cards, but there was just no… zeal. A few days ago, after the guys returned home from Blueblood’s successful company merger with Jet Set’s, they’d arrived in Ponyville just an hour ahead of the girls and Blueblood swept Rarity off her hooves the moment she exited the train car. He was proud that Rarity won Fashion Week but appalled that somepony had taken advantage of her generous spirit and was glad Rarity had learned a lesson not so dissimilar from what he himself had learned, and still she triumphed over that cheater. Rarity then asked Blueblood about the meeting he’d had in Canterlot, as she had read the latest edition of the Gazette. She was shocked to hear of Fancy Pants’ deceitful actions but proud of her Blueblood for being the bigger stallion. Sighing, Midnight asked, “Got any threes?” “Go fish,” Applejack and Big Mac both said. As he drew a card from the deck, they heard a frustrated groan from Apple Bloom, “Ah am so bored! Days like this oughta be fun an excitin’ but- Urgh!” Leaning back in his chair, Midnight sighed as he slapped his cards down, “She’s right, this day blows…” “Well there ain’t really much t’ do,” Applejack reminded them all, “th’ chores r’ all done, th’ animals r’ fed, th’ market ain’t open t’day…” “And all our friends are busy…” Twinken sighed as he slunk to his belly. “Why back in mah day we…. Uh… Ah fergot where ah was goin’ wit’ this,” Granny Smith mumbled as she continued to knit in her rocking chair. “I swear, if nothing interesting happens within the next five seconds…!” Midnight grumbled when there was a knock at the door. “Ah’ll get it,” Applejack volunteered but before her hoof touched the doorknob, it opened. “Hey, cousin!” And AJ found herself being glomped by a very familiar shade of pink. “Is it too late to change my mind…?” Midnight facehooved, asking nopony in particular. “Hiya Apples!” Pinkie bounced inside, looking a tad more hyperactive than normal, “You guys will never believe what I just found out!” “We don’t need to since you’re probably gonna tell us,” Midnight chuckled while shaking his head. “I sure as hay am!” Pinkie confirmed as she whipped out a rolled up scroll from her frenzy of a mane. “I was just over at the library where Twilight and Spike were researching family history, okay? I looked at my own and found out…!” She paused for dramatic effect, which actually worked as the Apple Family leaned in when she exploded, “WE’RE RELATED!!!” “Y’ pulling mah hoof?!” Applejack couldn’t help but crack a smile. “No, I’m telling you we’re family,” Pinkie said as if she were clarifying a misunderstanding as she took a seat on the couch. “It’s just, well… This is just so excitin’!” Applejack was a little surprised but it was the pleasant sort of surprise, as the whole family pulled smiles. “Ah can hardly believe it!” “I know! Isn’t it the best?” Pinkie added, Apple Bloom suddenly having a moment. “Ah have another sister! Ah have another sister!” “Well, you actually have a fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin,” Pinkie clarified before smiling back at the little filly, “but that’s like, exactly like a sister!” “That’s one way of looking at it… ow!” Midnight muttered only for Big Mac to elbow him in the barrel. Clearing his throat, he said with proud look that Big Mac somewhat mirrored, “I try to tone it down a tad around non-family members, as I’m not the sort to make others jealous, but-” “THIS IS THE BEST FAMILY EVER!!!” Twinken interrupted as he hopped on the couch with Apple Bloom, only for a spring in the cushion to send them flying after it could take only so much bouncing. “It really is,” Applejack agreed as she hid the spring with a throw pillow, looking at Pinkie, “Yer’ gonna love bein’ an Apple. Ah mean, you’ve got th’ playful one.” Apple Bloom demonstrated that by bouncing on a large ball, only to crash into the coffee table. “Th’ magic one…” Midnight used a fix-it spell on the coffee table while shrugging with a smile. “Th’ strong one…” “Ee… yup!” Big Mac grunted with a smile as he lifted stove with one hoof only for an apple pie to fall into his face. “Th’ helpful one…” Twinken levitated a cloth to Mac after he let the stove down with a thud, and he thankfully smiled at his little brother while cleaning himself up. “An’ o’ course there’s Granny Smith,” Applejack said last but not least, “who knows everything `bout everythang!” “A Ponyville snail can hibernate for up t’ forty-eight moons,” Granny Smith replied right off the bat, much to Pinkie’s ‘Who knew’ response. “An’ then there’s me,” Applejack poked her head out the stable door, asking, “You smell tha’ sweet apple air, Pinkie Pie?” Pinkie breathed it in but before she could answer, she got a mouthful of Applejack’s hoof, “Tha’ was rhetorical. A’ course ya smell it, yer an Apple now!” “An AJ’s the one responsible for it!” Twinken added as he ran out to the front yard. “Aw, Twinken, tha’ is sweet but-” Applejack blushed a tad only for her little brother to insist. “It’s true! She keeps everything on the farm where it should be, when it should be!” “An’ she does her own part on top o’ it all!” Apple Bloom agreed as she joined Twinken while Big Mac, Midnight, and Granny Smith all ‘mm’hmm’d, making Applejack glow. “I was already super-happy as a Pie,” Pinkie spoke up, “and now I get to be a part of this amazing family too! “It’s even more excitin’ now that you’re innit!” Apple Bloom agreed as she and Twinken ran over to Pinkie before the three of did a funny dance, and sang. We’re family! Wer’ fam’ly! Y’all an’ me r’ fam’ly! Applebloom realized she’d put a little too much oomph into the move but Pinkie simply said, “BEST FAMILY TWIRL EVER!” *CRASH* Applejack held the scroll Pinkie had shown them, “Ah jus’ cain’t believe we never heard anything `bout this before! Hmm…” “What’s wrong, sis?” Apple Bloom asked as the rest of the Apples crowded around AJ curiously. “Ah’m not seein’ where exactly it says wer’ fam’ly,” Applejack answered, only for Pinkie to pop up in the middle and take the scroll. “It’s riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” – Pinkie paused for breath before resuming – “iiiiiight… here!” They followed her (and the scroll) through the house to the very bottom where she was pointing, Midnight picking it up with his long lion-like tail for a better look while Pinkie explained, “Applesauce of the Apple Family lineage is a fourth cousin twice removed from the Pie family!” “I see the part about Great Grandaunt Applesauce and the part of the fourth cousin twice removed, “Midnight said as he scrutinized the information, “But… that last bit’s kinda smudged over, Pinkie. Are you sure it says ‘Pie’?” “I guess it is a little smudged…” Pinkie debated, “but I see most of it there, and when I read it” – Pinkie got starry-eyed – “I knew in my heart it was true…!” “Well, ain’t tha’ jus’ th’ sweetest thing?” Granny Smith said lovingly as she, Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and Twinken gave Pinkie a warm hug. “It is, yeah, it’s just…” Midnight hesitated while giving Applejack an unsure look. “Ah jus’ think we shouldn’ get excited till we find out f’sure,” Applejack agreed. “So how are we supposed to find out for sure?” Twinken asked the million bit question, causing the lot of them to puzzle a moment before… “Cousin Goldie Delicious!” Granny Smith announced with a tone of eureka! “ Her cabin’s practically an Apple Family history museum! If anypony’s got th’ records t’ back up Pinkie’s theory, it’s her!” “Well, I suppose we could go and…” Midnight considered, Applejack adding, “Well, Goldie Delicious don’ live tha’ far away…" “And we haven’t had a family outing recently…” Midnight brought up, noticing the others’ hopeful smiling faces, Pinkie adding her own. Finally, the two of them nodded to each other before Applejack asked aloud, “Are y’all thinkin’ wha’ Ah’m thinkin’?” “FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!” the Apple Family shouted, to Pinkie’s bewilderment. Later on, big Mac was adding a myriad of stuff to the wagon, helping Apple Bloom and Twinken aboard when they heard Granny Smith call out, “Has anypony seen mah travelin’ bonnet?” “Isn’t that it on your head?” Twinken pointed out the bonnet Granny Smith had on. “No!” Granny Smith answered with an undignified look. “But it looks a lot-” Applebloom tried to say only for Granny Smith to cut her off. “Well it ain’t! an’ tha’s final!” The three siblings shrugged at each other when they heard Applejack, “Hey everypony? Quick word?” They all approached her but she noticed somepony absent, “Wait, where in thunder-ation’s Midnight?” *FLASH* “Ohhh…!” Midnight appeared nearby, groaning as he rubbed the base of his horn. “Oh, Midnight, there ya are,” Applejack raised a brow, “Wha’s wrong wit’ you?” “Got myself a mystical migraine…” Midnight answered as he came over. “Wha’s a mystical migraine?” Apple Bloom asked. “It’s a nasty common ailment we horn-heads get every once in a while,” Midnight sighed in relief as the pain dulled. “It’s a lot like a headache but it only hurts if we use magic, and the more magic we use the worse it hurts! I just Flashed over here from the shop so I wouldn’t be late… you'd think alicorns wouldn't get mystical migraines, but nooo....” “Well, while Pinkie’s runnin’ a mite late, ah wanted t’ have a quick word wit’ y’all,” Applejack spoke up. “Ah’ve had sumpin’ in muh teeth this whole time, haven’t Ah?” Granny Smith cursed, “Gadsnickety! Whudda way t’ welcome a new fam’ly member!” “Uh, no Granny, yer… teeth’re fine,” Applejack rolled her eyes, “Ah jus’ wanted t’ be sure tha’ wer’ all on th’ same page about showin’ Pinkie Pie how awesome a fam’ly we really are. We wan’ her t’ get t’ know th’ family she’s been born into. But like… th’ best version of it, y’know? “Oh! Pbth,” Granny Smith smiled as she waved off AJ’s concern, “Don’choo worry, honey! We’re a great family an’ she can’t help but see it!” “Ah bet mah future cutie-mark’s gonna be a picture o’ me bein th’ best behaved pony ever,” Apple Bloom added. “We’re gonna show her an awesome time, right Big Mac?” Twinken cheered as Big Mac added a basket of apples to the wagon. “Eeyup.” “Are y’all ready to go?!” They looked to see Pinkie arriving, with her saddlebags leaking party confetti, “Cuz I’m ready to go-go-go!!” Big Mac pointed into the wagon for Pinkie and she threw her bags in, confetti flittering onto Big Mac’s nose that he shook off. However, for the first time did Applejack and Midnight notice the various odds and ends Big Mac had packed into the wagon. “Uh, Big Mac, are y’sure we really need all tha’ stuff?” “Eeyup,” Big Mac said with a smiling nod. “Are y’sure yer strong enough t’ pull all tha’ stuff?” Applejack pressed, Big Mac narrowing his eyes. “Eeyup.” Midnight however was looking at the wagon, or rather the shape of it. “Are you sure the wagon’s strong enough to support it all?” Rolling his eyes, Big Mac growled an annoyed, “Eeyup…!” Applejack and Midnight shared a concerned look but seeing Pinkie’s excited smile spurred them on. “Then let’s get this show on th’ road!” A while later, the Apple Family and their possible-relative were riding along the road, Big Mac pulling it all with no trouble, Midnight trotting alongside him (secretly concerned the wagon’s shape was being pressed enough without him on it). The various odds and ends on the wagon squeaked and clanged oddly rhythmically, that a number started up. “C’mon Apples! Y’all know this one!” Applejack clapped hooves with Granny Smith, who cheered, “Hot-diggety!” “Yee… HAW!” Midnight added, Big Mac saying, “Eeyup!” [Applejack] We travel th’ road of generations Joined by a common bond! [Midnight] Singing our song `cross the pony nation From Equestria and beyond! The girls and Twinken hopped out to trot alongside the stallions, Midnight and Apple Bloom on one side, Applejack and Twinken on the other, Big Mac in the middle. [Apple Bloom, Midnight, Applejack, and Twinken] We’re Apples forever Apples together We’re family but so much more No matter what comes we will face the weather We’re Apples to the core! [Big Macintosh] Eeyup! [Twinken] There’s no place that I’d rather be (Twinken hopped onto Big Mac’s back with a big smile) Than traveling with my family (Big Mac and Midnight shared a determined smile and rushed forward) [Apple Bloom] Friends all around come to join an’ see (Apple Bloom bobbed her head rhythmically to the music) As we sing out across th’ land! [Apple Bloom, Midnight, Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Twinken] We’re Apples forever Apples together We’re family but so much more No matter what comes we will face the weather We’re Apples to the core! Eeyup! [Granny Smith] Wer’ peas in a pod, wer’ thick as thieves Any cliché you can throw at me [Big Macinotsh) Wer’ here for each other through thick an’ thin Yer always welcome wit’ yer Apple kin, hoo-whee! [Pinkie Pie] You’re all fun, you’re all so sweet Like a game of hoofball or a favorite treat The love I feel here just can’t be beat As we party out across the land [The whole Apple Family] All right! We’re Apples forever Apples together We’re family but so much more No matter what comes we will face the weather We’re Apples to the core! Eeyup! *COLLAPSE/CRASH* “OOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!”