//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Part One, and One Half // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Chapter Three: Part One, and One Half Twilight slammed the table with her hoof. This was ridiculous! She was a Princess!! Granted, she never wanted to necessarily use her station, or to be treated any differently then anypony else, but the fact that she was not allowed to leave her room seemed insane! She even tried to pull rank out of desperation, and she was told that they could not comply on account that they were under higher orders. What made it even worse, was the fact that she had actually been forbidden to send a message to anypony! It was the first thing she had done when she had reappeared in her room. She had written a letter to her friends in Ponyville, and handed it to a guard to deliver, who promptly tore it up and told her that all communications outside of the Vanhoover Guard were forbidden until such time was deemed that she had sufficiently recovered from her battle with Tirek. Not only that, but apparently each of her friends had (quite by coincidence of course) to take care of some big problem that required their immediate attention! Applejack had been sent north to The Crystal Empire to help them harvest Crystal Berries (which were not even in season yet!). Fluttershy had been sent to deal with Discord who had somehow gotten the idea that Neighergra Falls would be a fantastic place to begin making waterfall souffles. Pinkie Pie apparently had been urgently needed to escort 3,000 tonnes of whipped cream to Balitmare. And, at the same time, apparently the Wonderbolts desperately needed Rainbow Dash to show them exactly what the Buccaneer Blaze was, right now. As for Rarity? Well, apparently she had been summoned to Manehatten to solve what was called a 'city-wide fashion meltdown'. And apparently Spike had been sent to Canterlot for further medical treatment (she was mighty peeved when she had found out that's where he'd been all along). Though, Twilight did have to admit (as much as it angered her to do so), at least Spike's magically coincidental disappearance/unavailability made sense. As for the others? Something didn't feel right. She struck the table once more, though this time with her face. It seemed pretty clear to her that something was going on. That for some reason, the princesses didn't want her to be able to contact her friends. Why?! What were Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence thinking?! It just didn't make any sense! She turned her head and stared at the wall. There was no doubt that they were involved. How else could have two guard ponies had enough power to teleport her all the way back here? It was across the entire continent! She had managed to make good time when she crossed it herself, what with flying and teleporting and what-not (trains are lovely things when one's wings are tired), but even then it had taken her a lot longer then a fraction of a second! The only beings that she could think of that had that much power were the Princesses, or Discord. Discord... Her head shot up and she slammed the table once more (this poor table, it really didn't deserve it). He must be behind this! Then she paused for a moment. No, not likely. This was too well organized. He wouldn't have used guard ponies, he would have shown up himself. Not to mention the fact that not only were the Wonderbolts involved in this, but even The Crystal Empire. And there was also the fact that he himself was not here, gloating over her. That, more then anything, put the last nail into the coffin of that idea. What was she going to do? What could she do? She walked over to the window, rested a hoof on the window sill, and looked outside. The barrier that the Vanhoover Guard had erected shined and shimmered with purple, distorting the view of the outside world. Twilight was no stranger to powerful magic, and knew that there was no getting past this thing. From what she could see, no less then 20 Unicorn Ponies actively maintained the barrier at all times. Given how powerful the spell was, she calculated that the actual number was more likely to be around 60 or 70, depending on each individual's aptitude with magic. It was, after all, a containment field designed to keep an alicorn from teleporting, or walking (or flying for that matter) out. Some 'vacation' this was. She let out a sigh. Something was going on, and for some reason the Princesses were doing just about everything they could to keep her out of the picture. Wait … did this have to do with those ponies from Ponyville? No, that wouldn't make sense. Then again, she did see a small section of the sky tear open and reveal a rather horrifying toothy maw of madness. Odds were, that would have indeed caught the attention of the Princesses, provided they somehow found out about it. Then again, Twilight was never sure exactly how much they did and didn't know. Either way, Wouldn't they have asked Twilight and her friends to help? She let out a grunt of frustration and slammed the window shut. She felt so powerless! What in Equestria could she do?! A knock at the door jarred her thoughts. “Come in.” she said as pleasantly as she could. Frustrated though she was, she didn't want to take it out on the guard. They were, after all, just following orders. The door opened and Twilight turned to see the Captain of the Guard standing there, tray of food in hoof. “Pardon the interruption Princess Twilight, but if you are hungry, we have lunch prepared for you.” The massive mare said. “Thank you, I could use a bite to eat.” she said as she took the tray from the Captain. “What's for lunch?” “A Daffodil and Daisy sandwich your majesty.” the guard answered with a respectful bow. This pleased Twilight. It was true that she was a prisoner, but at least they still treated her very nicely. They even sent a massage pony to prove the point! She smiled slightly. She did have to admit, her wings did feel a lot better after that. “Would you happen to have any hayburgers by chance?” She ask, hopeful smile and all. “We can bring one right up. Would you like it now?” The Captain saluted, clearly eager to please. “After I'm done with this. Can I ask you a question?” she looked over at the mare, who stood unflinching at the doorway. “I will answer it to the best of my ability, your majesty!” “Twilight, please.” “Yes Princess Twilight, Sir!” The captain saluted once more. Twilight let out a sigh. “Why is Princess Celestia keeping me here?” Without a moment's hesitation, the mare saluted again, “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, have requested that we, the proud Vanhoover Guard, protect and isolate Princess Twilight Sparkle, from the distractions and troubles of the outside world until such time-” “-that it has been deemed that I have sufficiently recovered from the battle with Tirek. Yes, I know that. You've said that before. But there's something going on here. Why are they keeping me from leaving? I feel fine!” she objected. “Would her highness like another massage?” The guard asked, quite unexpectedly. “Huh? Uh, sure. That would be nice. But that's not the point right now!” she shouted. “I want to know why it is that I'm stuck here, not even allowed to send a message to my friends! And why are all of my friends magically busy and scattered across Equestria?!” an angry snort shot from her nostrils. Her sandwich was also getting cold. Not that it came warm to begin with, but it was getting even less so. “I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about your highness.” The Captain shrugged. “Like haybarrles you don't!” she shouted. “Well, to be fully honest with you, your Majesty, I actually don't.” The Captain said, not in the least bit phased by Twilight's outburst. Twilight was taken aback. She was being completely honest with her. “Wait, really?” “Really. I wish I could tell you, I really do, but I simply don't know why myself. I was just ordered to keep you here until further notice. And, to be honest, I kinda feel for you.” The Captain said looking at Twilight with sympathy. “I know that if I was in your horseshoes, I'd be banging on the walls and chewing at the doors.” “'Chewing at the doors'?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Uh, sorry your highness. It's an expression I grew up with. It means I'd be going crazy.” “Oh, that makes sense. Well, thank you for you concern.” she paused, glancing over at her sandwich. “And I'm guessing you don't know why I'm not allowed to contact anypony?” The Captain shook her head. “I'm afraid not. Our orders were to keep all messages from you, outside of any messages you wish to send to the guard, from leaving the barrier. I don't really know why either. And I'd be happy to help you out with that, but...” she looked a bit down cast. “You're under orders not to...” Twilight said, she also becoming downcast. Then, an idea hit her. “Captain?” she asked, looking up. Almost as though a few thousand volts had just shot through her, The Captain stood at the most rigorous attention Twilight had ever seen anypony stand at. “Sir! Yes Sir!” she shouted. Twilight's eyes became disproportionately large to the size of her suddenly small pupils. She was very much surprised by the sudden show of enthusiasm. “Uh, so, how's … uh … Litterbug coming along?” The Captain blinked a couple of times, clearly a bit confused. “Private Litterbug? According to my latest report, her initial training is going well. She is struggling with being able to wield a spear properly, but we're looking into a possible alternative. I've also heard that they're having trouble finding a suit of armor that fits her properly, so, currently, she trains with pillows strapped to her body.” Twilight had to fight a giggle as the mental image of said pony covered in pillows that was supposed to be armor entered her mind. “That's great! Captain, you said I could send a message to anypony in the Guard, correct?” “That is correct your majesty!” Well, don't let it be said that she wasn't bursting with enthusiasm. “Could you send a message to Private Litterbug for me?” “It would be my honor!” Twilight let out a happy sigh. Perhaps she was finally getting somewhere. “Great! Tell her that I'd like to talk her for a bit. I'd like to ask her for a favor if I could...” ***** Pinkie Pie slammed the last spike into place. One thing was for sure, this was surprisingly hard work! She wiped her forehead of the sweat that had begun to run down it, and placed the hammer on the ground. She had flashbacks of home doing this work. Ah, home. Ah, Ponyville. Ah, NOT NALING THE RAILROAD TRACK BACK ONTO THE GROUND EVERY 20 MINUTES! Seriously! Here she was, entrusted to personally escort exactly 3,294 tonnes of whipped cream (it was 3,297 when they had begun, but … well … Pinkie may or may not have found a small access hole … and may or may not have had a silly straw on hoof...) to Baltimare, and for some reason, the railroad track ahead of them just happened to pop off the ground every 20 min or so! So, they would have to stop the train, just as it was picking up speed, get out, and fix the track. Sure, the first 30 times it was fun, what with her discovery that a party cannon blast could nail a rail spike just as well as a sledgehammer, but she had run out of ammo for her cannon, and now she too had to join in the hammering. “That should do it!” The conductor shouted from the engine. “Thanks everypony!” he said with a suspicious amount of cheeriness in his voice. The other ponies who helped waved back at him, and smiled as well, though with less cheeriness. Despite this, Pinkie Pie could detect fake smiles from a few of them. This was all kinds of fishy, especially since there were no fish on board (save the whipped cream whales, but they're mammals, not fish)! Pinkie Pie may, or may not, be the foremost authority on trains and train tracks, but she was pretty sure that railroads shouldn't be popping up constantly. After all, she'd been on the train plenty of times, and this had never happened before! Something strange was going on here. What was it? As she rubbed her chin with her hoof, the conductor shouted once more, “Uh, Miss Pie? Are you getting on board?” Pinkie Pie giggled, “I'm coming, I'm coming~!” she said, skipping back to the lone passenger car on this train. Yes, this was all very suspicious. All of the workers seemed strange. They didn't say much, and spent most of the time looking around nervously, particularly at her. Worse part was, they didn't even laugh at her jokes! Try as she might, she couldn't even get a giggle (though, there was that one mare who smirked slightly, but that was about it)! This was ridiculous! Almost as ridiculous as that Pegasus Pony with an Earth Pony strapped to him that was flying towards her! Seriously! A hanging harness? Why not just use a chariot? And what's with the funky teleportation amulet around the Earth Pony's neck? Pinkie just shook her head. Ponies these days. Always doing things in such inefficient ways. Clearly, they just needed better writ- “Are you Pinkie Pie?” the Earth Pony asked. “Sure am!” she responded. “You here from Twilight?” Both ponies looked completely taken by surprise by that. “Uh, yeah...” Said the Earth Pony, hopping off the hanging harness (it wasn't that far, for the Pegasus Pony had descended quite rapidly when the two of them had spotted her). Pinkie Pie appraised the slightly smaller mare. She was simply dressed, wearing a blue jean hat, a jumpsuit, and an amulet around her neck. The jumpsuit was a dirty orange, with what looked like garbage stains here and there. As far as the amulet? It was little more then a circle with a simple crystal in the center. Wait … that's not a crystal! It's a slightly used lollipop! It even had a hair or two attached to it! Even so, Pinkie knew magic when she saw it, and this was defiantly one magical lollipop. “So, what can I do for ya?” she asked, her voice quite chipper. “Well, uh, the Princess sent us to give you a message.” she began. “Uh huh.” Pinkie said, nodding her head. “She, uh, said...” the mare looked around and paused when she caught sight of the conductor, who was at this point simply looking at them with curiosity (it would be come annoyance, and then irritation, then finally impatient tapping of the hoof, but that would come later). “Go oooon~” Pinkie pressed. “Uh, well...” The mare looked a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps she was uncomfortable talking about this in the open? “Oh, are you worried about the conductor over there?” Pinkie asked (none too quietly mind you), pointing a hoof directly at him. The mare began to give the most subtle of nods, but was cut short, “Oh don't worry about him! He's a fake anyway!” Pinkie said with far too much cheer. Ah, there was the look of annoyance! “W-what?” the mare said. “Well, I mean, he's a real train conductor, but this whole thing is WAY too fishy to be real! I mean, what train has to stop every 20 minutes to fix the track? Not to mention that this train could really use some more decorations. I mean, what kind of whipped cream train doesn't have at least one party car? Not to mention the train has been stopping WAY too smoothy each time, almost like they knew what was coming. And that whipped cream? Yeah, it's water-based. Not even made with real milk!” Pinkie Pie knew poor quality when she tasted it, and that was poor quality! Even the whales knew it! And then there was irritation. “I-okay then...” the mare was clearly caught off guard by that. “Oh? Was that what you were here to tell me?” Pinkie asked. “Uh, yeah...” “That's it? Nothing else?” Pinkie didn't think that was all there was to it. “Uh, no. There was something else...” the mare put a thoughtful hoof to her mouth. “Does it have to do with why Twilight didn't come herself?” the thought suddenly made Pinkie miss her. Still, this was a new pony, and a chance for a new friend! “Oh yeah! It does! She wants you to meet up with your other friends and ask the Princesses why they are holding her prisoner at Vanhoover.” The mare suddenly looked quite pleased with herself for remembering. “Oh? That's it? No problem!” Pinkie Pie grinned from ear to ear. “Uh, you're not bothered by her being a prisoner?” the mare seemed rather confused. “Nope! If she was in danger, she would have asked you to ask me and the others to come to her rescue! But since she didn't she's gotta be okay. So, nothing to worry about, right?” Pinkie said as the mare looked as though she had never thought of that. “Huh, that does make sense.” “Yep, sure does! Well, you just tell her that she's got nothing to worry about! Ol' Pinkie Pie here'll do just what she asked! Thanks for the message...” she let out a gasp. She had no idea what this pony's name was! “Oh gosh! I totally forgot to ask what your name was!” “It's okay. I'm Litterbug.” she said, extending a friendly hoof. “Oooohhh~~! Are you a trashpony?!” Pinkie Pie asked. She nodd-shook her head. “Not anymore! I'm part of the Vanhoover guard!” She puffed out her chest and her face glowed with pride. “She's a new recruit.” the thus-far silent Pegasus Pony suddenly said. Litterbug's chest deflated a bit. “Well, okay, I'm still in training, and I only got accepted a few days ago, but I'm still part of it! It's always been a dream of mine!” Aww, that made Pinkie feel warm and fuzzy inside. So much so that she suddenly found herself hugging her. This surprised Pinkie, but her body giving random hugs was a phenomenon that she had grown not only accustomed to, but fond of. “Well Litterbug, you're doing a great job! And thanks again for the message!” She blushed slightly. “Thanks. Just doing my job, I guess...” At this point, she heard the impatient tapping of a hoof on a metal floor. Pinkie Pie let her go. “That it?” Litterbug nodded. “Great! I'll take care of things here right quick, and be on my way.” The Pegusus Pony lifted off, and paused long enough for Litterbug to hop into it. “Thanks Pinkie! It was really nice to met you!” she said as the two of them flew away. Pinkie Pie waved back at them as she saw a purple glow wrap around them, shimmer, pop, and then they were gone. Pinkie Pie smiled. She had a sneaking suspicion that this was a trick. So, turning to the conductor, she simply smiled, and said “The gig is up! See you guys later~!” And simply skipped away, leaving behind one very relieved train conductor, and one very happy train crew (and one tired Unicorn Pony saboteur who was hiding in the shadows. His name was Tom). ***** Applejack stomped a hoof on the ground. “What in tarnation is goin' on 'round here?!” The Crystal Ponies all looked at each other in a fair bit of discomfort. “Uh, well, you see, uh...” Applejack's face reflected her lack of amusement. “We … needed to make sure that the berries were planted correctly!” the farmer replied. “Oh fir Pete's sake! THEY ARE! And they were in the last THIRTEEN orchards you showed me!” her face moved from unamused, to simply irritated. “Are ya TRYIN' ta waste ma' time?” “What? No! Of course not! We, uh, it's just that...” Applejack could see sweat beads forming on his forehead. “The Crystal Berry crop is so very important to us, that we simply MUST make sure that each and every tree is properly planted!” his wife said. “Bushes.” Applejack said flatly. “Beg your pardon?” the mare replied. “They're bushes. Berry bushes. Not trees.” “Oh, uh, right! See? Good thing you're here to help sort these sort of things out!” She and he looked at each other, both attempting to laugh. Their children, not far behind them, all rolled their eyes as one. “Seriously? You honestly didn't know that?” Applejack wasn't trying to sound like she didn't believe a word they said, but... “Well, you know, it's just that they're so tall! Easy mistake, right?” The farmer said. Applejack just shook her head. She had been told that this was very urgent business, and that she had to get up here as soon as possible. The letter had even been sealed with Cadence's hoofprint. And ever since arriving, she couldn't help but feel like it was a huge waste of time. Not only were the berries not ready for harvest, but they insisted on looking at every, single, bush. AND they asked her about every single detail they could when it came to farming. They were asking questions that they clearly should know the answers to, and did. Though, for some reason, they kept acting like they didn't. She let out another sigh. “Yeah, sure. Easy mistake. Whatever you say. Let's just keep moving...” they both nodded vigorously, and walked over to another plant that was identical to the last 300 (in this orchard) she had just looked at. “Yes. It's fine.” she said before they could even open their mouths to ask. “It's planted just fine. It's got the water it needs, it's got enough sun shinnin' on it, and it's got plenty ah' room to grow. Can we pleeease move on'ta somethin' else?” she pleaded. The tedium of this was driving her nut- “I told you to go north!” an irritated voice suddenly said from above. “You said go north, and I went north.” said another, much calmer voice. Everypony on the ground suddenly jumped and looked up. Up there, in the sky above them, were two ponies that Applejack had never seen before. How in Equestria's shiny red apples did they get there? “I didn't mean this far north! We just needed to get to Neighagra Falls!” the first voice argued. They were up against the sun, so it was hard for Applejack to make out any details. “She said cowpony hat, yellow mane, and orange coat, yes?” The second said. “Yeah, that one is Applesauce I think.” Applesauce!? Who in the hay called her Applesauce?! “Applejack I believe, and I think that's her there.” the second said calmly. “What? Oh, sure looks like it. HEY! ARE YOU APPLEJACK?!” the first shouted. “Ah' Can hear y'all just fine! And yes, ah' I am. Who're you?” Applejack said, trying to shield her eyes from the sun. “H-hold on!” the first voice said. Then, to Applejack's surprise, a purple flash covered them, and they were gone. “What in tarnation?!” Applejack said, taking a step back in surprise. “Hello Applejack! I'm Litterbug! Good to meet you!” an enthusiastic voice said from right in front of her. She looked down, and even further to her surprise stood a slightly smaller Earth Pony who was extending a hoof in greeting. Not far behind her stood a yellow Pegasus Pony who looked rather disinterested in everything. “I-uh, Howdy...” Applejack said, still a bit surprised, and a little confused. “What, uh, can I do fer y'all?” she asked, shaking Litterbug's hoof. “And how did y'all do that?” “Well, Princess Twilight gave this magical amulet it to me. She made it. It lets the two of us teleport short distances!” The mare smiled a rather happy smile (she even closed her eyes for good measure). “Wait, you know Twilight?” Applejack said, rather surprised by this turn of events. “Sure do! She asked me to find you and tell you that she thinks that this is all just a ruse and that she needs your help.” she said pointing a hoof at Applejack. “Wait, what? I don't know about that. How do I know I can trust ya?” Applejack said, raising an eyebrow. “She said to mention something about putting mud on your face after cleaning mud off your hooves...” Litterbug said, furring her brow in an effort to remember. Yep. That would be something only she and Twilight would know about (and Rarity, who to this day still keeps teasing her about it). “That's good!” she said, raising a hoof to stop her. “I believe ya. So, what's this about this all being a ruse?” she suddenly heard hard gulps behind her, and looked to see both farmers with very nervous looks on their faces. “She said that she thinks that you and everypony else were all sent on wild goose chases.” “Wait, really? Who would do that, and why?” Applejack's face reflected her confusion, as well as surprise. Litterbug shrugged. “She doesn't really know, but she has a feeling the Princesses are involved. Now that I think about it, that was something else I was supposed to tell you! She wants you to meet up with the others where the Princesses are meeting and ask them what's going on.” she said, hitting one hoof into the other as she remembered. “Why can't she ask herself?” It did seem odd to Applejack that Twilight would ask them to do something she herself could do. “Because she's currently being held as a prisoner at Vanhoover.” There was a pin drop. It made a sound. “WHAT?!?” Applejack bellowed. A vein in her neck may or may not have suddenly become visible. “WHATTA MEAN SHE'S A PRISONER?!” The poor mare before her donned a look as though Cerberus himself had chosen her for his next meal. “S-S-” “WELL?! SPIT IT OUT!” “Sh-she's under royal orders to not leave Vanhoover, b-but she said to say that she didn't want you to come help her.” Litterbug said, shrinking away from a very upset Applejack. “Like HAY I an't gonna go help her!” She turned around to the farmer family, “Thank y'all for the lovely time, but I gotta git. A friend of mine is in trouble!” Unbeknownst to Applejack, Twilight had warned Litterbug that she was a stubborn one. She had warned her that she would react this way. And she had also told her what to say if this should happen. “A-Applejack?” Applejack, however, was not interested in listening to not-quite-tiny trashmares. “Vanhoover, HERE I COME!” she raised up onto her hind legs, let out a mighty cry, and charged full speed to the train station. A fine plan, that was rather rudely interrupted by a sudden jolt of pain from her tail. She fell to the ground as the sudden loss of momentum caused her to loose her balance. So, that's what grabbin' a pony's tail mid-run/flight/whatever feels like. It don't feel too good! “Wait a second!” Litterbug said, spiting out Applejack's tail. The look Applejack gave her was not far from the one she gave her earlier. If there was one thing she didn't tolerate, it was something getting between her and her loved ones. “You got three seconds...” Applejack growled. This time, however, Litterbug stood her ground. “Princess Twilight, well, Princess Twilight asked me to say: 'Applejack, please. I know you're upset, and it really means a lot to me that you want to help me, but I need you to be with our friends. I'll be okay, so, please?'” Applejack paused. Sure enough, that sounds like something Twilight would say. She hesitated. The stubborn mule in her refused to budge, and wanted to run full speed to Vanhoover. The friend of Twilight wanted to run full speed to her. Heck, far as Applejack was concerned, there was no reason at all to even listen to this mare and just go running all the same. But yet, she did not. “Did she really said that?” Applejack softly asked. Litterbug nodded. “She did.” Applejack bit her lower lip. She didn't like this. She didn't like this one little bit. But she wasn't about to say no to Twilight. And if she said that she needed her with the others, then who was she to argue? She let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, I'll do it.” she said. “I'll do it for Twilight's sake.” Litterbug smiled a rather large, happy smile. “She knew you would.” That made Applejack both a little irritated, and a little happy, to hear. Twilight was trusting her, and she wasn't about to let her down! “Now, uh, could you tell us how to get to Neighagra Falls?” Litterbug asked, looking rather embarrassed. Applejack laughed. “Sure thing Sugarcube! Just head on' south and west 'o here and you'll see it. Can't miss it! Now, ifin' you'll excuse me, I got me some friends to meet!” Applejack stood up on her rear hooves once more, and with a hoot, hollar, and a whoop or two, ran off to the train. As she galloped off into the distance, the farmers turned to Litterbug. “So, uh, I guess that means we're done here?” Litterbug shrugged. “I guess so. Did the Princess put you up to this?” The farmers looked sheepishly at each other, then back at her. “We, uh, don't tell no one, but … Princess Cadence asked us to keep her busy for a few days. Didn't say why though.” “Hum. I wonder why...” Litterbug rubbed her chin with her hoof. “Who knows?” the farmer pony shrugged. “Well, I got three more ponies to talk to, so see ya later! Bye!” she waved at them then hopped into the harness. “I can't believe that I got saddled with this...” the Pegasus Pony complained. “Oh quit your whining! You know this is important!” Litterbug said as they gained altitude. “I'm not arguing that, it's just that you're heavy.” “I am not!” she shot back. He rolled his eyes and she turned her focus back to the slightly used magical lollipop amulet, and focused upon it just as the Princess had taught her...