//------------------------------// // 2. Princess F*cking Luna Started It All, Who Knew? // Story: In Which There Might Be Vampires // by Essbie //------------------------------// There were few things that vampires properly feared. While not invulnerable, they were certainly harder to dispatch than any normal pony, so they hardly feared adversaries outside of fellow night trotters. There were the larger creatures that all ponies feared, such as dragons, that one could easily be frightened of. The wolf-ponies were essentially a non-issue, save for nights under the full moon. The full moon brought something, or rather someone else out. This individual hunted in earnest when the moon was full, and was ever watchful in the periods in between. They proved to be the apex predator, willing and able to prey upon vampires as they have done to those that threaten the peace of the night. Currently, Cherry was having her own blood sucked out by said apex: the Princess of the Night herself. It was surprising how the situation devolved so quickly, certainly faster than that little spat she had with the cabbie in Manehatten which was not her fault no matter what that mime "said" to the guard. This time it seemed to be her fault, or the fault of her ignorance, was Luna had pointed out before this. "I was just turning her," Cherry had defended carefully. "She's an irregular, your majesty!" "I am aware, Cherry Syrup." The princess loomed near at that point. "Summarize Point IX of the Night Trotter Index." The Night Trotter Index, a set of laws that pertained exclusively to vampires and wolf-ponies and the like. It wasn't something all night trotters had to memorize. Due to her lineage, Cherry was obligated to have each and every point beaten into her brain. Sometimes that was quite literal, a reason justifying her quick response. "'Point IX of the NTI: A Night Trotter uncovering an irregular, if unable to contact proper authority to deal with the matter, may deal with the situation alone after they have undergone the proper approval system.' Which I have, your majesty, so what is th-" "Ah ah ah! You're not finished! Include the second additive." The additives were essentially side notes sometimes attached to each point that gave explanations regarding certain scenarios where the point may be difficult to follow. They were hardly worth the time of day, but again, they were literally beaten into her brain. "'Should the pony be of national renown, Point IX is nullified and an archivist must be consulted regarding said figure's status as an irregular.'" Sometimes, but rarely, a public figure may have a "bad encounter" that leaves them as an irregular. Equally rarely is the following through of Point IX's Second Additive: the public figure's condition as an irregular is deemed non-threatening by comparison to being completely turned, and so they are protected. Cherry was not seeing the point here. "Tell me, Cherry Syrup," The Princess began, like a mother to her daughter that is slow on the uptake. "Do you recognize Fluttershy here?" Cherry looked past Luna, at the mare on the bed. She was starting to come out of hypnosis and had her head turned to look at the two of them. She appeared to be sweating bullets. Either that or she was currently in the throes of a heart attack she couldn't react to. Knowing her so far, it was probably both. "Sort of, not really." The bat mare answered, getting an angry stomp from her Princess. "Art thou daft?" Luna had overcome her archaic speech some time ago, but would pull it out when she was frustrated. Anger her beyond that and one would receive the crushing force of the Royal Canterlot Voice (a concept "An ignoramus? Her name doesn't seem familiar to thee?" Cherry, in spite of being called stupid by one of the few alicorns in the world, kept as level a head as she could and thought hard. Was Fluttershy familiar? Did she say anything? She did! She said plenty of things while Cherry was planning her course of action. Thinking back now, she may have wanted to simply taste the mare, but the irregularity came first. The pegasus was telling stories; stories about her adventures with her friends. Who were her friends? She couldn't remember them except for two names: Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, the latter being the newly appointed Princess of Friendship and the Bearer of the Element of... one of the Elements of Harmony of which there were six. She had five friends total, which including her made six. Six Elements, six friends... "Huh, she's an Element of Harmony." Cherry realized in a quiet, dull voice. "Correct," Luna replied. Spreading her wings, casting a sinister shadow over the mare. "And she's off limits." "Ah." Cherry nodded and looked up, false hope spreading across her face. "Okay, I learned my lesson, can I go now?" "Perhaps." "Really?" Luna smirked, her horn glowing as a weightless feeling came over Cherry's body. The bat mare's eyes widened and her pupils shrank to fearful slits. "Oh buck NO-" Cherry screamed as she was flown through the bedroom, out the door, and into the den's wall, landing upside down against the wall, hindlegs dangling over her. She peered up (down to her perspective) to see Princess Luna smiling down at her with a toothy grin. Her body felt weightless again as she was flipped around, her back on the floor, and the Princess dove for her throat. In hindsight, it was a big mistake, not remembering the names of the ponies that wielded the Elements of Harmony not once, but twice to defend Equestria. The present could have been worse though. Instead of Luna simply clamping to her neck, she could have easily rendered her into shadowy essence and devoured her as such. Nopony was certain what exactly happened, only that, for the most part, not one night trotter that dared stepped out of line that far was ever seen again. Maybe Luna was a weird portal in and of herself that could suck ponies into a pocket dimension that was inside her. Nah, she just ate 'em. Cherry was getting lightheaded and the Princess was STILL feasting on her blood. She managed to focus on wondering why and how the alicorn hadn't had her fill yet. She squinted her eyes in a confused attempt at focusing her thoughts on the matter. Was it the mare's size? She was certainly larger than the average pony, but maybe that wasn't it. Was it the room? How did THAT make sense? An exhaustion weighed down on her, and her mind was getting jumbled seven ways from Sunday. What in Tartarus does THAT mean? She caught herself off topic just before a tiny voice called out to the Princess, who finally retreated from her throat, but she was too tired to be relieved. Her vision darkened, and her eyes glanced at tea set on the table before they faded away. She was here for tea. She worked up a killer thirst for tea. "Cheeeeeeerry~... Cheeeeeeerry~! Cherry! CHERRY! WAKE UP!" Cherry's eyes shot open as a white hoof persisted at prodding her flank. She stood up and hissed at the trespasser, an alicorn with a red mane she hadn't remembered being a member of royalty before. In fact, she didn't know where she was in the first place or how it was. This room was arranged like a waiting room, with a counter at the end and many chairs lined up. Some of those chairs were occupied and the counter was empty, possibly because the attendant was now standing in front of her. That was everything normal about the room; what wasn't normal was the absence of wall and that there was nothing around what made the room a room at all. There was simply a white void all around. "Now that you're up," the alicorn began. "Welcome to the Heavenly Waiting Room!" "Heavenly Waiting... I died?" Cherry asked, hoof launching up to her throat to feel for her wounds. None. "Let's see..." The alicorn summoned a rather large book from the counter and flipped in a few pages. "Ah!" She slammed it shut. "So I'm dead?" Cherry breathed in finality. What a way to go. "Nope!" The alicorn sent the book back to the counter. Cherry was frozen in place and stared at her. "What? This isn't a perfect science, you know! Look over there." She nodded to a light grey mare with a black and red mane. "This has to be about her tenth time here... right?" "Something like that," the mare said with a shrug. "And she's going right back anytime now!" Cherry, befuddled by the casual and even lazy devices of death and the afterlife that had been revealed to her, stood exasperated and slack-jawed. "So I'm technically still kicking in the real world?" "Yeah, this is all part of the 'real world'," The alicorn pointed out. "But yes, you'll be heading back sooner or later. Could be in a second, could be in what seems to be the next thousand years, actually!" "How does that make any sense?" "The 'how' is difficult to the point I wonder why 'how' is even a type of question. Think about it: who, what, where, when, and why are all pretty easily answered (more so on the physical plane; I could give you thousand year-long answers to some of Heavenly procedures and practices I take part in) and then someone came around and asked 'how'." "Thousand year-long answers? Sounds familiar, like I'm listening to one right now." The alicorn smirked. "Sarcasm doesn't befit you. Anyway, you're right. To put it simply, the only answer you have time for is... 'because'." "So time is screwy here just because it is?" Cherry rubbed her head for a moment. "I guess that makes sense?" "There you go, you're getting it!" The alicorn clapped her hooves together. "Is 'because' also the reason to why the waiting room is pretty empty except for--" She glanced over to the seat where the repeat customer had sat, but she was gone. "Except for the two of us now that she's gone?" "You've got it! It's also the reason why some alicorns have thousand plus year lifetimes, like Celestia and Luna, and how Celestia looks just gorgeous after all the time. Don't you agree?" The bat mare simply looked at the alicorn, which told her all she needed to know. "Ah, yes, bat pony, you prefer Luna. She's not bad. Hold on..." The red-maned attendant summoned the book once again and flipped through. "It says here the younger sister had something to do with why you're here." "I got sucked off by her." Cherry sometimes forgot to think carefully before speaking, and these became a very poor choice of words in hindsight. The alicorn mare held a smile on her face for a while, except it was a chilling smile; The kind of grin not full of gaiety (which is, in fact, a word meaning "lightheartedness or cheerfulness") as much as casual, yet boiling, fury. There is possibly a website in the bowels of the Internet devoted to categorizing this sort of look and behavior, or maybe a book so people can get off their asses for a couple of minutes to find it before sitting said ass back down to read because whether in front of a screen or a page, there are a lot of asses in seats in the world today. Unlike Cherry's, who found herself falling through the void that surrounded the Heavenly Waiting Room when she was bucked off the platform unexpectedly by the redheaded one. For an instant, she remembered that she could fly, only to be hampered when the alicorn's magic forced her wings to lock. As she screamed through the abyss, the belief that she would be enduring this fall for well over a millennium (so it would seem), she failed to remember that she could actually be awoken in mere moments. Her form disappeared from the void. Cherry sat up in the suspiciously comfy bed and screamed, nearly deafening the young dragon in the hallway outside the room. The strange new environment was alarmingly... strange. At the very least, she was no longer falling through a boring void. The first sight that she registered was the large amount of blue. The ceiling, walls, and floor, illuminated by the sunlight coming through the open windows, were all made of some blue stone material. It was disgustingly bland; she would have a word with the management. A red hoof rose to its owner's neck, now wrapped in a bandage. The door slammed open as she pondered it, and a tiny purple and green lizard thing came in. A baby dragon! One that looked suspiciously similar to the one often seen with Princess Twilight. He didn't say anything as he stood at the entrance of the room, yet he stared intently at Cherry. It was almost as if he was expecting to see something thoroughly terrifying when he opened the door. "Wait, you're not melting?" The dragon asked, confused and relieved. "...no?" "But don't vampires melt in sunlight? I kept telling Twilight, but she wouldn't listen! Then you started screaming!" Cherry groaned. More idealized vampire weakness mumbo jumbo crap she had to deal with, and it had been a nice long while without it. One of these days she was going to have to lecture all of these ponies (and this dragon) on vampire related myths. At least she probably would. Her kin often said that they found these myths to be hilarious (whether due to them being way out in left field or simply because it made their prey nearly wet themselves before the bite), yet she found them embarrassing. Garlic. Are you kidding? "Well, I'm perfectly fine. Missing about a pint of blood maybe, but I'm fine." Cherry wiggled of the bed and stretched, relieving a tension in her back with a crack. "But I thought vampires were supposed to go-" Cherry stepped forward and pressed her hoof to his mouth. "You were lied to," she said. "Let it go." The dragon sighed, looking down for a moment. He shook himself out of his shame after a moment and held out his hand. "I'm Spike. Number One Assistant of Princess Twilight Sparkle." She gave him her hoof. "Cherry Syrup. Number one fan of not getting on a Princess's bad side ever again." Spike shuddered and bundled his arms together as if a chill rolled through. "Uuugh... I saw her come in with you and... uuuugh..." The dragon shut his eyes tight to dispel the memory. "She wasn't even that creepy on Nightmare Night! Then I heard what she did to you and... brrr..." Cherry shrugged, not understanding the perspective and not bothering to think about it. All this talk of blood-sucking was making her hungry. "Change in subject a little bit, what's for breakfast?" Spike stood there, staring into space after hearing the question. The dietary needs/wants of the guest were something that went beyond him. He was a culinary genius at only fourteen years old (and still, he was a baby dragon). His soups were praised, his pasta was hailed, his oatmeal was given a nod of approval, but that was all when he was feeding normal ponies. Feeding a vampire? Where was he going to... Cherry was gone, not bothering to disturb the dragon's apparent brush with existentialism. She had already been through that song and dance, and it ended with a brief trip (fall) through the void. Breakfast was waiting somewhere in this castle. It was only a matter of working her way down to the dining room. Wherever that may be. Spike snapped out of it several minutes later. "Maybe a diamond d-" His eyes scanned the room and his pupils shrunk to slits. "Remember, Spike:" Twilight said. "Don't let her leave the room when she wakes up!" "Nuts." Meanwhile, in the hall of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle was having a conversation with Princess Luna regarding her recent guest/prisoner/patient, mostly in regards to which of those labels fit Cherry Syrup of Clan Windikar. The Princess of Friendship was a little unhappy with the circumstances, as one could imagine. First, she was woken up by a certain somepony barging down the door to her castle. Second, she had a mare she had never seen before essentially dropped in her lapped. Third, she was told this mare was a vampire pony that nearly bit Fluttershy with the intent on turning her into one. Fourth, a group of Princess Luna's guards charged in before any explanation could be made, which resulted in her leaving because "something came up". Finally, she had to search through the castle for what she needed to repair the door. Luna had torn it off its hinges when she brought Cherry in, and all those weird nocturnal bugs that came out at night had snuck in and were generally being a nuisance in the meantime. Also, Cherry was a vampire and Luna was essentially their queen, and she never knew this because somepony was too lazy to write it down in a book that wasn't fiction, but this wasn't as important. Now, the two princesses were positioned around the magical map. "Forgive me, Twilight," Luna said. "I may have gotten ahead of myself." "Three. Hours." The youngest princess groaned. "It took me that long to find replacement hinges. My castle was wide open for three hours!" A strange looking thing (possibly some kind of moth with a disturbingly long thorax) sped between the princesses. "See that? I need to look for a spell to get rid of all of them." "Will it work on that one?" Luna gestured to the chair Pinkie Pie would normally sit or lay in, but now was host to a familiar pony-like insectoid. The Changeling simply grunted at the attention. "I may need something stronger for that," Twilight said. "Speaking of ponies with unusual diets..." "Cherry Syrup." Luna stepped around the map table. "She made a mistake and paid for it by giving me a free meal." Twilight scrunched up. "She's fine... but I have need of her. There was an incident, and I require some of her finer skills. While none of those skills include her ability to shove her hoof in her mouth, she should be fine." Luna waved her hoof to emphasize this. "Besides, she won't be alone." "Oh? Will one of us be keeping an eye on her?" "Are you a vampire or a vulpine?" "Strange that you bring that up because somepony apparently thought I was a vampire at one point." "But you are not. Apologies, Twilight, but this matter requires the attention of night trotters." Twilight groaned. "I really wish there was a book about all of that..." A small, ancient book with dull covers fell to the table before her. A glance at the inside cover revealed a symbol not unlike Princess Luna's cutie mark below the written words "The Night Trotter Index". "I had written and amended that before I became Nightmare Moon," Luna explained. "While I was... gone, a group of night trotter scribes began to work on it until the last major change roughly 500 years ago. They managed to keep prints of the Index limited. I'll admit, I'm surprised you never managed to scrounge up a stray copy. Rare books seem to be one of your fields." Twilight did not respond. Instead, she flipped through the beginning pages of the Index. From what she could tell by simply skimming, this record included a section pertaining to the process of a vampire's kiss, the transformation of a werepony, and codes of conduct for them. This first part was all in the same script, Luna's, and brown ink. With a bit of thinking, it dawned on Twilight that, due to the age of this book, the ink may not have been brown when it was first applied. As she looked at it, the more it dawned on her that it may, at one point, have been red. "Princess," Twilight started. "D-did you write this in blood?" The Night Princess shifted in place a little and looked around the room. Silence feel between them. "I may have been a little dramatic then (and going through something of a millengenarian adolescent phase). Still, I fondly remember the day I began that book... Goodnight keeping the bed warm as I used what she had let me borrowed to begin the Index..." Twilight suddenly didn't want to know any more. "She was the first, you know." "Huh?" "Goodnight. She was the first night trotter. It alarmed her when it happened, and I got in some trouble with Celestia afterward because I hadn't told her what my plan was. Why I never told her could probably be because I was starting to draw away from her before... that night. "She was a guard. One of my closest guards, to be precise, although unlike the others, she and I were closer. Romantic? Possibly. Sexual? Oh Tartarus, yes." Twilight immediately forgot she heard that. "One night while I was beginning to formulate the plan of action for how I would create this new form of protection to make the night friendly, she came in my chamber. We spoke and sipped imported wine from Deer country. It became a bit... tense. "I won't disturb you with the details of what we did. All you need to know is that we were in bed when I suddenly... began the process of turning her. A bite to the throat, a little magic, perhaps my own blood. You can read all about how a vampire is sired in the Index. Goodnight she... well... she flailed. Now that I know how the vampiric kiss truly feels, I'm left to wonder if she was panicking or something else." Luna ceased reminiscing. "In any event, that was the start of the vampires and of Clan Cateye. The vulpine ones were another adventure I won't torture you with. I must be going anyway." She headed for the exit, pausing before the door. "Oh! Cherry is safe to wander around the castle and town. If you see her, give her my regards; tell her I may visit her sometime." Twilight was left alone in the Hall of Friendship. She was uncertain if this was a good thing, though all things considered it was, lest she be told the tales of Princess Luna's personal life in greater detail than she needed (which was none). As the older alicorn left the castle, a unicorn filly came scampering in. Twilight was still absorbed in this new book. The changeling in the chair decided to take a nap. The door opened to reveal yet another guest room. Why doesn't this castle have any signs? Too bad the dragon was a little irritating. Maybe I should have stuck around and waited for him to wake up from that brain fart or whatever he was having. I'll be trapped here for years at this rate... "Hello? Twilight? Are you in here?" Hey, a ration! Cherry practically skipped down the hall to where she heard the voice to find a young white filly with a sort of soft pink or purple mane. Said filly turned from the guestroom she had opened (one Cherry had already checked) and jumped a little at the surprise. "You're not Twilight!" "Wow!" Cherry gasped. "Great observation, small child!" Sweetie Belle was not amused by this antic but she kept herself as collected as possible, although a tint of worry came through. It wasn't the stranger that worried her, though. "Alright, have you seen her? The princess of-" "Friendship, no," Cherry interrupted. "I have seen a vampire and a dragon though!" Sweetie cocked an eyebrow. "Are... you the vampire?" "Vampires don't exist." "My sister is the Element of Generosity, and all the elements know about you so... Cherry?" Crap. Cherry sighed. "Yeah, that's me. C'mere, snack." "Not now!" Sweetie yelled suddenly. "My sister's in trouble and I need to get Twi- wait..." Gears were turning in the filly's head, and Cherry could tell. She was surprised this foal wasn't a robot with all the gear turning. "Do you know anything about wolfponies?" "They're a stupid and unnecessary edition to Battlesledge 41,000 given the Lycans exist inuniverse already. If you mean the real version then I those too and they're... weird." "So you're a vampire that doesn't like wereponies?" Sweetie asked. "Well, I guess you cou-" "FOLLOW ME!" The filly bellowed before turning tail and galloping off. "My sister is in trouble with one!" So this kid's sister, the bearer of Generosity, is in trouble with a wolfpony? This early in the morning? Somethings fishy... maybe it was that one that attacked me last night. Could be worth checking out. In any event, there's an exit! Cherry followed the foal through a a few hallways before arriving to the exit of the castle. "Ruffian!" Rarity shouted. "Get out of my boutique!" Cherry and Sweetie approached the frilly-looking building and could hear the commotion from outside. "Sounds like she has it handled... weird, it's like she's beating a-" "Ow, ow, ow, lady! This is a misunder- ow!" A stallion yelled from inside as well. Cherry paled when she recognized the voice. "No..." She pushed Sweetie out of the way and burst through the door. Rarity stood several feet away from the stallion and was using her magic to swing a bolt of cloth around, hitting the stallion with it repeatedly. A tear almost came to her eye while doing so. The stallion in question was an orange-coated Earth pony with a brown mane, wearing a red and blue patterned scarf, and spoke with the most annoying over-the-top voice that Cherry ever did hear, and one she had had heard it before. Rarity paused the assault when she saw Cherry. "Well, of course the vampire would show up now of all ti-" she started before Cherry waved a hoof at her. "Yeah hold on a second, beautiful, I'm having a stroke because I cannot believe my bucking eyes." The stallion got up and leaned over to Cherry. "OooooOOOH! It was YOU I was looking for!~~~~~" Oh Luna, if vampires were to suddenly develop that whole "dissolves in sunlight" thing right now I would not complain. "Honey Glazed, what the buck," she said. Rarity stepped a little closer. "Of course you two know each other, now could you please leave my shop before a customer co-" "No," Cherry said, silencing the prissy mare and turning her attention back to Honey. "Wh-Ho-Why-Whe- the BUCK?" "Ooooooh it's TERRIBLE!" The stallion began melodramatically. "I mistook the miss to be a vampire like yourself, and I was specifically told to meet the vampire in town! So I revealed my (strikingly handsome) wolvish form to inform her that I'm in the know! But, it seems it was you who I was meant to find, so that didn't go so well as you can see..." He smiled apologetically to Rarity, who was simply glaring at the two nighttrotters with increasing frustration at their unwillingness to leave her business. "Yet, you came to me, so all is fantastic!~~~~~~~~~~~" He still does the ~~~~~~~ thing... urgh. "Well there's no reason for you to meet me, so just get out of my face. I might as well browse the wares here. Unless the Element of Generosity turns out to be an absolutely terrible Equestrian, in which case I will promptly eat her because I haven't had breakfast and I'm missing a pint of blood." "Oooh, terrible business, I heard all about it from Princess Luna herself!" "Wait, what?" The gears in her own head were starting to turn. Sweetie, who had come into the building and was standing by her sister, felt a kinship with this vampire. "Hon- Glazed... what's under the scarf?" "Oh yes, that." He tugged the scarf, revealing a small moon-shaped mark on his neck. "Got into a little trouble myself long ago." "INEEDAMIRRORRIGHTNOWWHERECANIFINDAMIRROR." Rarity jumped and reflexively summoned a mirror from across the room. Cherry held a hoof to the bandage on her neck and began tugging, ripping it off and throwing it to the floor. Right on the healing bite mark the princess left her was an identical moon-shaped mark. A mark of servitude to Princess Luna. "No..." And so Honey Glazed must have been told to come into town looking for her which meant... "NO..." "Yes!~~~~" Honey Glazed exclaimed obliviously. "We're partners in whatever her Highness has in store for us!" It was a quiet day in Ponyville when "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Everypony stopped and listened to that horrible noise for a while. After it stopped, a few of them pondered its origin, but all quickly forgot it ever happened. Such is the nature of living in Ponyville.