“Tarnished Teapot, the ponies of Ponyville have had their say.” Princess Twilight Sparkle had a stern expression as she spoke. “We can no longer tolerate your presence. You have, as of this date, two hundred and seventy two counts of disturbing the peace, one hundred and ninety one charges of mayhem, and well over three hundred counts of magical maliciousness… do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Turning his head, Tarnish looked at his cutie mark, a poison joke flower, and then he looked at Princess Twilight Sparkle. “I can’t help how I turned out.”
“We the ponies of Ponyville, have been patient with you. We have tried to live with you. We have tried to look past your many faults. But every time you use your magic, something goes wrong, sometimes horribly wrong.” Princess Twilight Sparkle made a broad sweeping gesture at the town of Ponyville. Almost half of the town was in ruins and the other half wasn’t looking so good either. “This last incident was too much to bear. Thankfully, nopony was killed. For the good of everypony, I must ask you to leave.”
“This isn’t my fault… you tell me to hold in my magic and I do… I hold it in for so long that I have a surge and it just all comes out… I can’t help how I am. This isn’t fair… none of this was intentional,” Tarnish said, his voice a pained whimper.
“I am really very sorry… but you are a menace to everypony. Around you, pegasi stop flying, unicorn magic goes horribly wrong, and earth ponies lose their strength. Everypony's talent goes wrong. You make everything around you go bad! I must ask you to leave Ponyville and do not come back. And by order of Princess Celestia, you are to never, ever, under any circumstances, ever set hoof in Canterlot. The last thing we need is the sun or the moon falling out of the sky. Should you ever go to Canterlot, you will be banished from Equestria.” Princess Twilight Sparkle pointed her hoof down the road that lead out of Ponyville.
“That only happens if I have a surge… and I only have surges when I can’t use my magic at all and it just builds up… this isn’t intentional!” Tarnish looked down the road where Twilight was pointing and then back at Twilight. “How can a pony be blamed for how their cutie mark makes them?”
“Tarnished Teapot… I am positive that there is some place in this world that you fit in. It just isn’t here, with us. Please, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.” Princess Twilight Sparkle’s expression softened and for a moment, the corners of her mouth twitched downwards as her emotions struggled to make themselves known.
Choking back bitter, angry, hateful words, Tarnish turned away from Twilight Sparkle and resisted the urge to give her a good zap of his magic. He took off at a slow walk, his saddlebags bouncing, and he held his head high as he left.
“Tarnished Teapot… I really do hope that you—”
“Oh shut up! Leaving Ponyville means I no longer have to listen to you and your long winded platitudes!” Tarnish picked up his pace and he did not see Twilight Sparkle’s pained expression, nor did he see the tears welling up in her eyes.
For a long time, Princess Twilight Sparkle watched Tarnished Teapot go, until at last he was little more than a speck in the distance. She turned and looked at Ponyville and then back at Tarnished Teapot. Twilight Sparkle had always heard that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few… and Tarnished Teapot was just one pony.
“Goodbye Tarnish… and good luck… I really do hope that there is someplace in the world that you will fit in and find happiness…”
“Stupid ponies of Ponyville… they should be thanking me… I turned Discord into a model citizen for a whole month when I sneezed… sending me away… just what is a sixteen year old pony supposed to do anyway? Why am I talking to myself? Have I gone crazy already?”
Shaking his head, Tarnish gritted his teeth and kept going. In his heart, a glowing coal of hatred burned bright. Unwelcomed, unwanted, Tarnish came to the realisation that he was a weed. Weeds were just plants that nopony could bear to love, like poison joke. Flowers were just high class weeds that ponies liked.
Whipping his head around, Tarnish glared at his cutie mark, a blue flower that stood out in sharp contrast against his chocolate brown pelt. “I hate you. If I had a way, I’d get rid of you in a heartbeat. You’ve caused me nothing but trouble ever since I got you four years ago. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”
He snapped his head around, causing his cream coloured mane to whip about. He had himself a few angry blinks as he stomped down the dirt road.
“This wasn’t my fault!”
He had held his magic in for weeks and there hadn’t been an accident. He hadn’t used his telekinesis, he had used nothing that might cause the others around him to suffer the ill effects of his magic. He had been careful.
And then, Pinkie Pie happened, as Pinkie Pie always happened. She just had to pick up the whole punch bowl and dance with it. And when she had seen somepony that she had to say hello to, Pinkie Pie had tossed the punch bowl up into the air and had taken off, lickety split, to go and hug the pony coming in the door.
Tarnish hated himself for trying to catch the punchbowl.
It had set off a massive, horrible, chaotic chain of events that had left half of the town demolished, thanks in no small part to the three horrible fillies that called themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were trying to get their cutie marks in concert pyrotechnics.
Other ponies had destroyed stuff. Pinkie Pie wrecked things all the time. Rarity had once almost ruined Ponyville with dark magic. Twilight Sparkle had once enchanted a doll and caused the entire town to brawl. Applejack had once almost killed half the town with food poisoning. Fluttershy had caused a stampede of animals through the Grand Galloping Gala. Spike had once turned into a giant dragon and had rampaged through the town. Rainbow Dash had once blown up the city of Cloudsdale to try and keep her pet tortoise from hibernating.
But none of them had been banished or cast out. It was something they all looked back upon and laughed about. The whole town laughed about it. When they wrecked something, it was funny. But when Tarnish did it, it was criminal.
“I hate all other ponies!”
“Grawr?”
Tarnish halted mid step and felt a freezing prickle in his testicles. “Grawr” was never something you ever wanted to hear. Ever. Under any circumstances. He lifted his head high and looked around. “Grawr” was pretty much the worst thing a pony could hear as they walked down the road.
“Hello?” Tarnish asked in a cautious voice. “Really dangerous unicorn here… you have no idea how dangerous… I’m best left alone!”
“GRAWR!”
After announcing itself, a manticore lept out of the bushes that made up a thicket along the side of the road. Squealing like a filly, Tarnish took off at a full gallop, with the manticore in hungry pursuit.
“OH COME ON! THIS DAY JUST COULDN’T GET ANY WORSE!”
The unicorn’s hooves kicked up dust as he ran at breakneck speed down the road and Tarnish let out another squeal as the manticore grew closer. With no other option available, Tarnish turned his head backwards, took aim, and fired off a bolt of magic at the manticore.
“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!”
Much to Tarnish’s dismay, his magic seemed to have done nothing. He coaxed more speed out of his legs, his lungs were already burning, and the manticore was flapping its wings now. In a few minutes, it would be all over.
That is, if the manticore killed him before it started to eat him.
With a yowling cry, the manticore pounced and landed upon Tarnish, who tumbled down into the dirt beneath the manticore. There was a very confusing moment as Tarnish waited for teeth and claws to rend him asunder. The manticore was laying on top of him. Tarnish was defenseless.
The manticore was purring.
“Oh no… stupid magic… I hate my magic.”
Pinned beneath the manticore, pressed down by the manticore’s paw, Tarnish felt the manticore lick his neck, the manticore’s tongue slid up in a slow, cautious creep along Tarnish’s lower jaw, and continued up his ear.
“Grawr...”
“Oh no… my stupid magic gave the manticore a different hunger… I’m so horned.”
As he spoke, there was another, long, lingering, affectionate lick that started at the base of his neck and worked upwards. Tarnish felt a hot, heavy snort in his ear, and he could feel the manticore’s heart thudding inside of her ribcage.
There was no mistaking that it was a she-manticore, and she was purring.
Panicked, Tarnish tried to use his magic again, but all that came out of his horn was sparks. Because he wasn’t supposed to use his magic, he had never practiced or taught himself proper magical control, other than holding it all in. More sparks arced out as he made another failed attempt.
“Graaaaawr…” the manticore purred as she cuddled Tarnish.
“No no no… this can’t be happening,” Tarnish whimpered as he was licked once more. He was soaking wet now and he gibbered in fear as the long, slimy tongue was dragged over his face once more. The manticore’s purring caused her long, sandpapery tongue to vibrate, and the effect made Tarnish shiver all over as he started to suffer involuntary arousal.
The manticore let out a needy growl as she arose. She picked up Tarnish in her teeth and was just as careful as a mama cat with her kittens. Her tail swishing back and forth, she bounced and bounded away to the thicket at the side of the road, carrying the object of her affection.
Shivering, Tarnish made his way through the night. He was wet, slimy, covered in slobber and manticore love juices stained his entire rear half. He ached all over, he felt dehydrated, and he was almost certain that he stunk.
His sense of smell had died many, many hours ago, moments after the manticore had sat down upon his face and ground her feminine places against his muzzle. He whimpered at the memory. He had almost suffocated. His saddlebags were gone, she had eaten one of them, swallowing it whole, and the other had been swatted aside. And then she had batted her long eyelashes at him.
Tarnished Teapot had lost his virginity to a manticore and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On one hoof, how many ponies could say they lost their virginity to a manticore. On the other hoof, she was a manticore. She had pinned him down, licked every inch of his body, and his body had betrayed him. He could still feel her tongue, the rough sandpapery texture of it, he could feel the sensation of it happening even now, being dragged over his body, over every crevice, over every curve, she had bathed him in the most thorough manner possible, covering every available inch of skin before she threw herself down on top of him and rubbed the secret parts of her femininity against him, devouring his virginity as though she was a hungry beast.
And she had been a hungry beast. Twilight Sparkle had banished him a little past noon and it was now some time in the middle of the night. Alone, still soaking wet, shivering, Tarnish continued down the road, not certain where he was headed.
Ahead, he heard more growling, and Tarnish quailed as several wolves bounded out onto the road in front of him. He looked at them, his eyes narrowing, and he saw the wolves studying him.
“Come on! Eat me! Today can’t get any worse!”
The wolves, sniffing, all tucked their tails between their legs and ran away, yelping and yipping. Tarnish, who stood dripping on the road, had to endure the strange feeling of gratitude for being covered in manticore love juice.
He probably smelled so bad that nothing in its right mind would eat him.