//------------------------------//
// Chapter 79 - The Equestrian Job 
// Story: My Family and Other Equestrians 
// by Blade Star 
//------------------------------//

    Leaving Sweet Apple Acres, the five of us carefully worked our way toward where the Royal Guard had set up shop, not too far from the little runway Applejack, Mac and I had constructed. It was hardly Camp Bastion, made up of only a few tents here and there and encircled by a wire fence, but it was being fairly well guarded. It was here after all that the stallions of the Solar Guard were preparing for their ceremonial duties, in other words, standing around and looking professional. In particular, somewhere in there, Shining Armor was preparing himself. He would stand alongside Celestia as both her personal guard and a representative of the Crystal Empire. As such, he would be in his full ceremonial armour. 

Far more ornate than the typical fare, his armour was unique, gold with purple accents on the saddle, as well as a purple star clasp. The helmet was just as ornate, almost completely purple with a gold trim. It was this which we had decided to ‘borrow’. We’d taken a leap out of some American history; an incident I had related to Swift Wing, when a group of Confederate cavalrymen had successfully entered a Union camp and made off with the commanding officers greatcoat. Getting clean away with Shining’s helmet, one of his most prized possessions, would definitely show them up. And after all, successfully absconding with your enemy’s property did count as a coup.

Swift was handling most of the planning. We would need to sneak into the camp, make our way to near enough the centre, avoiding the patrolling guards and Shining Armor himself, enter his tent and get away either without being noticed, or quickly enough to evade pursuit. 

Our small band paused on the crest of the hill which overlooked the camp. We still had a few hours to go before the sun was due to rise; more than enough time to do what we wanted and return the helmet when we were done gloating. The relatively dark night, though there was a decent moon, would also help us, although several of the patrolling unicorn guards were using their magic to light the area. 

“What d’ya reckon, Swift?” I asked quietly, looking down on the camp from our position on the hillside. Swift had been scrutinizing everything for the past five minutes looking for an opening. 

“Not sure yet. It’s not exactly ideal is it? It’s gonna be pretty difficult to sneak by all of those ponies.” Suddenly, we were startled by a new voice.

“Perhaps I can be of help?” Instinctively, we all ducked down in a vain effort to avoid being spotted, but our new friend was directly behind us, having snuck up on us without being noticed. I cursed inwardly our collective stupidity at not having posted a single sentry to watch our backs. 

Turning around, we looked to see who it was that had caught us and stopped our plan dead in its tracks. In the moonlight, I beheld a blue stallion with a brown mane and an eye patch. It was Strong Shield. But he wasn’t in his armour. I would have expected he’d be in charge of things down there, but at present he looked like any other civilian. 

“Strong Shield?” I asked. “Are y’all off duty?” Strong Shield snorted a little irritably. 

“I’m off duty, Rookie. And likely to remain off. The princess put me on temporary leave.” Swift wing then spoke up.

“I thought I heard ponies talking about that; sorry, Captain,” he said politely. “Any idea when they’ll say you’re fit for ops?” 

“Give me a few weeks, I’ll be back to my old self in no time.” He smiled to hide the sadness he felt. Given that he, like a lot of us underwent a recent traumatic experience, it was logical to assume it had set off his problems again. There are so many names for what my friend has. But I think the name my grandmother gave it is best suited; she simply called it ‘The Horrors’. I expect that recent events triggered and worsened his PTSD making it unsafe to let him continue working full time. Still, I know for a fact it can be partially overcome in time, and I hoped that would be the case for him; Strong Shield is a career soldier, it would be foolhardy to retire him. I’m sure Celestia knows that. 

“So, Ah guess y’all are gonna go down there and tell ‘em what we’re up to?” I asked. But strong Shield shook his head. 

“Tartarus, no, Rookie. If you idiots are going to try and break in there,” (he’d clearly heard everything) “Then you’re going to need my help. And I wouldn’t mind getting in some action anyway.” Breathing a sigh of relief, we filled the captain in on our plan. I smiled inwardly, with a changeling helping us infiltrate this camp, we couldn’t lose! Of course, none of the others knew that. 





Working quickly, and undoubtedly enjoying the opportunity to practice his skills again, Strong Shield revised our plan. Although to be honest, he more like came up with the plan in the first place. Our own ideas amounted to little more than ‘let’s hope we don’t get spotted’. Strong Shield offered something more…subtle. 

First of all, he sent away two of Swift’s friends to find a chariot. When we made our move, it would result in everypony in the camp being alerted, so we needed a quick method of escape. Two thestrals could get a chariot airborne and disappear into the night in a matter of seconds. 

With that done, he then sent a third thestral, Nutmeg, down into the camp. With some persuading, he was convinced to take a proverbial dive. The guards were too many to sneak by, as Swift had already realised. So he would sneak down there, intentionally draw the attention of the guards and then bolt. Hopefully, a number of the guards would pursue him, giving us an opening, and making the entry into the camp easier. 

That just left Swift, Strong Shield and myself. I was quickly ordered to lose the bandana since it didn’t help me blend in, or disguise who I was, (since who else wore a Stetson and confederate jacket?), and apparently it made me look like an idiot. The three of us would sneak into the camp and make a grab for Shining’s helmet. It would have to be done quickly as, inevitably, the guards that had been temporarily drawn off would return. At some point we would be noticed. 

The plan then was to quietly sneak back to here for our rendezvous, and then get on board the chariot that would be waiting, then lose any pursuers by guile and agility. We could then return to the Tavern to claim our victory. It seemed like a solid plan, particularly when Strong Shield opened with the phrase ‘Hang on, lads. I’ve got a great idea.’. 





So, the first order of business was to send the two thestrals off to fetch a chariot, not an especially difficult task. However, to be on the safe side, we decided to wait until they got back before making our move. It would do us no good to get out of the camp and then find ourselves with no method of escape if things had gone wrong. The helmet was quite a heavy thing to carry, even with magic, so we wouldn’t be able to outrun any chasing guards on foot.

Luckily, our two comrades were not gone long. After disappearing into the night, they quickly returned with a typical Royal Guard tandem chariot. Over smooth ground we could easily outrun our pursuers, and if the situation called for it, the two thestrals could take to the skies. 

“Alright you two; good job,” Strong Shield commended. “Now, get it stowed away under that scrub over there, we don’t want you two attracting attention.” He gestured to some bushes a little ways off behind us. The two of them quickly stowed it away and covered it as best they could; gold wasn’t exactly a camouflage colour in the moonlight. 

With our exit strategy all set up and ready to go, the next step was a diversion. Swift’s other friend, Nutmeg, who himself was up for a promotion to a lieutenant, carefully moved away from our hiding place and headed for the front area of the camp. He would do his best to distract the guards, allowing the three of us to get in unmolested. 

Already skilled in stealth and aided by the relative darkness of the night, he made his way toward the front of the camp. When in position, he subtly signalled Strong Shield that he was ready and then began, officially kicking off our little plan. Taking wing, he flew just off the ground. Circling around behind one of sentry guards, he managed to score his own coup by tapping him on the back of his head as he flew past. Needless to say, the guard didn’t care much for it. 

“Hey you! Stop!” One of them cried as the thestral was spotted. Quickly a number of guards were alerted and began to pursue the offender. At a rough guess, I’d say he managed to draw off around ten or so. It would certainly make our job easier. The thestral and his pursuers disappeared into the night once more. Hopefully, they’d keep up the chase for some time before giving up. 

“Alright, that’s our cue,” Strong Shield said and began to lead us down the hill towards the camp. We were certainly an odd bunch. A thestral officer in full uniform, a changeling turned guard instructor and an apple farmer dressed as a partisan ranger, all to take a very ornate helmet. 





Reaching the perimeter of the camp, we passed by where the two sentries had previously been stationed. There were still plenty of guards hanging around, patrolling and such, but it was now no longer impossible to do what we intended. Nonetheless, it would still prove a challenge.

The last time I’d done anything like this, it had been before the incursion, so the guards had been nowhere near as well trained. Now though, a couple years down the line. These guys really knew their cookies. Patrol routes were not fixed and were difficult to account for. No single guard moved alone (of course, we weren’t planning on actually harming anypony, if we were spotted we were to just bolt) and it was not an easy thing to distract them.

As such, we had to rely on Strong Shield’s skills, since he was the one who trained most of them, to get us through. As we continued to sneak through the small encampment, I couldn’t help but hear a familiar tune in my head.





Sneaking down the hillside, and doing our best to stay low to the ground, we made our way towards the camp. The three of us each kept an eye on the nearest patrolling guard, who seemed to be going back and forth along the fence line. As soon as he moved away, we moved in. The fence was our first objective. We had no bolt cutters, but we did have magic.

“Rookie, use a fire spell to melt the wire,” Strong Shield instructed. “And be careful; keep the flame small and be ready to cut it off if needed.” Leaning down to be level with the first part of the fence, I steadily began to cut us a way in by melting the fence in a perimeter. Eventually, this allowed us to create a pony sized hole to enter through. 

Getting inside the camp, we quickly began to head towards the centre, making sure to dodge any unicorn guard with a light spell. Listening to the odd conversation, we learnt that the armour set was stored in pretty much the centre of the camp. So that is where we headed, doing our best to stick to the shadows.

Eventually, after a couple of close calls and near misses, we reached the centre of the camp; our target. It was here that Shining had left his ceremonial armour whilst he was with the princesses (we had incorrectly assumed he was still here, Strong Shield had quickly corrected our poor intel). Prior to the ceremony starting he would come here to collect it. It would be something of a surprise when his guards reported to him that we’d managed to make off with it. In a way, this was sort of like a college prank really. No ill will was meant, it was just a bit of fun. I’m sure next year Shining will have some plan up his sleeve to get back at Swift Wing and his boys. 

Strong Shield made one final check around the corner; there were no guard in sight. Signalling us two with a hoof (nopony had spoken a word since we’d entered the camp) we all began to creep toward our objective. Keeping low, we avoid making ourselves too obvious, though I could tell by the way Strong Shield had shook his head in dismay, he needed to repeat a few of his lessons to these guards. 

Making our way to the tent, the three of us slipped inside. Swift Wing stationed himself at the threshold to keep an eye out in case a guard turned up, in which case we would have to hide and hole up where we were. Strong Shield and I meanwhile, went straight for the wire frame that held Shining Armor’s namesake. 

The entire armour set sat on a wire frame the resembled a pony. Carefully, I used my magic to ease the helmet off of the ‘head’. Signalling to Swift, who was grinning like an idiot at this point, that we were done, we formed up again and prepared to make a break for it. 

Unfortunately, fate seemed to be against us, for as soon as we made for the door, we came face to face with a guard. In his glee, Swift had looked away. Both parties stood facing the other for a moment, neither quite sure what to do. Were this the real deal, the guard would have had to run, there was no way he could take on all three of us. However, since we were under very limited ROE we had something of an issue. In the event, it was Strong Shield who broke the silence, with one simple command. 

“RUN!” As one mass, the three of us pushed our way through and began to go as far as we could to make for our rendezvous.     

Forcing our way past the lone guard, the three of us broke into a full gallop towards our escape. Perhaps due to playing too much Assassin’s Creed when I was younger, I could now hear the beeping ‘exposed’ alarm going off in my head. Behind us you could hear the frenzied shouts of the now wide awake guards.

“Stop! Thief!”

“Get back here you damn bat ponies!”

“They’re trying to steal the captain’s helmet!”

“I told you they’d try something!”

Doing our best to keep a decent speed, we hurriedly traced our route back through the camp, dodging the odd guard that tried to cut us off. I contemplated using a teleport spell to get myself to the chariot quickly. But I think that would have probably gone down rather badly with my two comrades. Plus, carrying the heavy helmet in my magic, I doubted I would have enough power to get myself all the way there, and even if I did I would certainly be worn out.

So, we kept on going and quickly got back to the small hole in the fence. Soon, we were tearing back up the hill, our hooves doing their best to find purchase on the soft grass that was already damp with the dew of the early morning. It would only be a couple of hours until sunrise. Eventually, our ride came into view. Strong Shield bellowed at the two waiting thestrals.

“Alright you two, let’s go! Start up! Start up!” he called over the racket that was our pursuit. Hurriedly, the two thestrals hauled the chariot out and began to gallop away, ahead of us. Given how close our pursuit was, we’d have to jump for the chariot, which would then get airborne. 

“Okay, everypony! Get on!” Strong Shield instructed. One by one, we threw ourselves onto the chariot. In my case, it was a close run thing. Weighed down by the helmet, my jump was somewhat short. If it hadn’t been for Strong Shield and Swift grabbing my outstretched hoof, I might have missed it and gotten caught. While it was fun for the guards, I doubt either of the princesses would approve of this.

Officially. 

With everypony on board, Swift called to his two friends, instructing them to take to the skies. We pitched up sharply, keeping our speed but also rapidly gaining altitude. Of course, the white pegasi of the Solar Guard quickly followed us, leaving their counterparts back on the ground. We had ourselves a good old fashioned chase. 

“You’re doing fine, you two. Just put your hoof down. Put your hoof down; we’ll lose em easy.” Strong Shield called. A fitting bit of music began to play in my head. 


 


We tore through the skies above Ponyville, our chariot bobbing and weaving in an effort to shake our pursuit. When that proved fruitless, our two flyers dropped back down toward almost ground level. But they didn’t slow down; instead we were shooting through the streets at incredible speeds. More than one of our pursuers crash landed in the many sharp twists and turns. 

With guards still on us, we then zoomed up into the sky again and banked away from the town. Still going at a terrific speed, we then plummeted down toward Ghastly Gorge. In a style I’m sure Rainbow Dash would be proud of, we slalomed our way between the rocks, dodging the eels that snapped at us as we passed. The threat of possibly being eaten was enough to convince a few more to back off.

However, some of the veterans remained dogged in their pursuit, so we kept going as fast as we could. If I only I could pull off a decent illusion spell, perhaps make us invisible or duplicate our chariot to give us the opening we needed. Unfortunately, illusion magic was not something I was skilled in, and Strong Shield couldn’t use any of his abilities without causing a lot of complications.

In the end, we headed for the Everfree, more particularly, the uncontrolled weather that was above it. The clouds provided great cover and with our two flyers running short on steam, we managed to at last loose the remainder of our pursuit in the thick clouds. 

“Ah can’t see any more of ‘em, captain!” I called as I peered behind us into the darkness and the fog. “Ah think we did it!” Strong Shield nodded.

“Alright you two, see if you can get us back to the Tavern. Home for tea and medals!” The two thestrals cheered half-heartedly, their wings no doubt feeling like they were about to fall off. Swift on the other hand was happy as a pig in…well, you know. 

“Ha ha! We did it!” he proclaimed happily, dancing like a drunkard. 

As we headed back towards town, we passed a couple of guards that had landed on the border of the Everfree. Obviously, they’d cottoned on to what was happening and were content to let us head back and claim our little victory. Undoubtedly, Shining would plan something to get back at Swift Wing and his little band. As we passed over them, I picked up Shining’s helmet and held it in my magical grasp, showing them our prize. And for a laugh, since I was in a confederate jacket, let off the loudest rebel yell I could, causing those amongst us related to bats to cover their ears in agony. But hey, we were happy. 





Touching down outside the Tavern, the lot of us piled in to a cheering welcome. The place was still packed with guards from both sides and they’d all evidently got wind of what was happening. The thestrals, unicorns, and earth ponies of the Lunar Guard were cheering at their little victory, whilst their daytime counterparts, for the most part, were gracious enough to admit the little college type prank. Like I said before, there isn’t any real malice; it’s more just a bit of friendly competition and one-upmanship. 

Quite quickly, it was a case of drinks all around, and a little bit of a party, before the dawn. With everypony still laughing and joking around Swift and a few of the others gathered around the small piano in the far corner of the bar for a few old songs. It isn’t a celebration if there isn’t a little bit of a sing-song. 






Come all ye children of the night, our time is now at hand
To break Celestia's shackles and drive her from our land
Justice is our motto and Luna is our guide,
So jump into the wagon, and we'll all take a ride.

Wait for the wagon! The revolution wagon!
The night is our wagon, and we’ll all take a ride.


Revolution is our watchword, our night we all demand;
To defend our homes and firesides, we'll do all that we can;
Princess Luna leads us, we'll never leave her side;
Those brave aces, the Shadowbolts, will join us in the ride.

Our wagon is the very best, the running gear is good;
Those Bright Lights they can't catch us, Faust knows they wish they could.
Cloudsdale is the driver, with Fillydelphia by her side,
Appleloosa holds the flag up, and we'll all take a ride.

That tyrant old Celestia, the nobles by her side,
Put Goldwing in the wagon just for to take a ride.
Captain Sentry was the driver, to cross Colt’s Run he tried,
But there he left the wagon for Nightshade to ride.

The Lunar Guards are in the field, eager for the fray;
They can whip the Bright Light boys three to one, they say;
And when they get in conflict with Luna by their side,
They'll pitch into the Bright Light boys and then you'll see them slide.



It was at that point, we were rather rudely interrupted. Needless to say, our little endeavour had come to the attention of Captain Shining Armor, and he was not best pleased. With two pegasi flanking him, the helmetless captain came storming into the pub, dressed otherwise in his full armour.

“What in the name of Celestia herself is the meaning of this?!” he bellowed. Evidently, he did not take the showing up of his guards well. Quickly everypony in the pub, civilian or military, either snapped to attention or stood up. Shining began to pace.

“Twenty minutes ago, three ponies broke into the Royal Guard bivouac outside of town. They stole my helmet as well as a chariot in their escape. Now, who was behind this little prank, hmm? Step forward!” There was silence. Amongst thestrals there is something of an omerta it seems. That and Shining looked ready to take the head off of anypony who confessed. I would have expected this reaction, were there not Solar Guards happily joining in the celebration too.  

I suppose it is just Shining’s nature as a workaholic and general disciplinarian. He’s not exactly a guy you expect to relax easily, particularly on one of the most important events of the year. 

Whilst neither Swift, Strong Shield nor I revealed ourselves as the conspirators, the missing helmet was quickly ‘found’ by a guard and quietly returned. Taking it in his magical grip, Shining put it back on his head, a stern expression still on his features. 

“Alright,” he said at length. “I understand you all have little to do until sunrise, and I understand that there is something of a rivalry between the two guard sections. However, that is no excuse for professional guards gallivanting off to play Settlers and Buffalo. You are all professionals; act like it!” And with that, he left. Conversations slowly started up again.

“Well that sucked,” Swift commented, scowling at the front door. 

“Oh, it’s just how he is, the jackass,” Strong Shield replied. “That colt’s been a born officer since the day he joined up. Unfortunately, it cost him his sense of fun.” He laughed to himself. “Besides, somepony’s gotta be the bad guy and keep you all in line, with me away and all.” 

“Ah hope they do let ya back in, cap,” I offered. “Hay, if they don’t Ah’ll go before Celestia herself and demand y’all be given your job back.” Just then, the clock in the pub began to strike and the guards began to busy themselves. 

“Alright, everypony,” Swift called over the general noise. “Let’s get to town hall.”