It surprised the heck out of the rest of the girls when Fluttershy called a meeting.
Curious as to what their timid friend had to say, they met in the back room of the Half Pint. Fluttershy showed up with a hippy.
“Girls, this is my friend, Tree Hugger,” Fluttershy said when they were all gathered around the table in the comfortable command center.
“Um, where are we?” asked the guest. She had been blindfolded in before being allowed to enter accordance with a quick vote among the girls. The super secret seminar spot that the meeting room provided had to stay super secret.
“So who is this pony, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked.
“Tree Hugger is a member of the Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures,” Fluttershy explained. “I met her on a trip to the Breezy Memorial. She has a problem and I think we can help.”
“Well, I wouldn’t really call it a problem,” said Tree Hugger. “More like an upset in the balance of nature.”
“Um, just tell them what you saw,” Fluttershy advised.
“Something blazed up in the Everfree Forest,” Tree Hugger said.
Applejack cocked her signature eyebrow and glanced at the others. “Blazed up, you say?”
“Yeah, like burned some holes in nature. Total bummer for the plants and animals that live there.”
“That does sound concerning,” Twilight said. They’d all experienced forest fires before. “I suppose we’d better check it out.”
“Will we have time?” Rarity asked. “We need to prepare for the Grand Galloping Gala.” She shot a look at Applejack.
Applejack shot a look right back. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t fit her old dresses anymore. Well, okay, it kind of was, but Valiant getting her to eat pony wasn’t, and that was what had been the trigger for her bulking up.
They all left the room. Fluttershy screwed up her face with concentration and managed to remove the blindfold from Tree Hugger’s eyes with magic. She’d been getting better despite the limited practice she got during time spent as a unicorn.
Tree Hugger led them out of town and towards the Everfree Forest. On the way, they passed a suspicious grey haywagon. Up close, it bore a strange symbol on the side. Guinness stared at it, frowning and trying to remember where he had seen it before.
As they entered the forest, Twilight asked, “So what are we looking for?”
“There’s big burned places in the forest. Can’t miss ‘em,” Tree Hugger replied.
“What could have caused something like that?” Applejack asked. “Foals playing with matches?”
They all knew which foals she referred to.
“Dunno,” Tree Hugger said. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”
“I’m sure we’ll find the cause, Treezie,” Fluttershy assured her, though her voice quavered at the implications. The Everfree Forest had a habit of producing things that nobody had ever seen before.
Sure enough, they soon came to a place where the trees were blackened and burned to ashes. There was a surprisingly precise divide between undisturbed forest and charred wasteland. The burned area seemed to be a narrow corridor that made sharp ninety degree angles with other segments.
The seven of them spread out, hooves sinking into the ash. It was slightly warm to the touch, but only slightly. Applejack frowned. “I figure this must have happened yesterday. Seems to have flashed a hot fire and then died down.”
“But what could have caused such a precise burn?” Twilight asked.
“There’s more over there,” said Tree Hugger, pointing a hoof. The group pushed through some still standing trees to another burned clearing. It was also a long straight line, however this one had three segments branching off in the same direction.
Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof, inadvertently smearing ash on her face. “Rainbow, can you fly up and take an overhead look at this?”
Of course they had brought Rainbow Dash. Getting her out of town as often as possible had proven to be a reasonable method to ensure that she wasn’t seen, recognized, and charged with the destruction of the Cloudsdale weather factory.
Rainbow soared into the air above the forest. “Hey, it’s like letters!” she called.
“What are they?” Twilight asked.
“The first one we found is an ‘H.’ The one you’re standing in right now is an ‘E.’
“What does it spell?” Applejack asked.
“It says ‘HELP.’”
“Girls, I have a sneaking suspicion,” said Twilight. “We have letters burned into the forest. Who do we know that has the potential for high powered lasers and a secure place high above the land from which to fire them?”
“But what would Valiant be burning messages into the forest for?” Rainbow asked, landing nearby.
“I’m curious as to why he’s asking for help,” said Applejack. “This doesn’t seem his style, burning messages into the forest when he could just ask.”
“But it doesn’t seem like his style to ask,” Pinkie pointed out.
“Perhaps he was embarrassed, and by causing large scale property damage it made him feel better about requiring our assistance,” Rarity speculated.
“Sounds like him, except for the part about bein’ embarrassed by somethin,’” Applejack said.
They all lapsed into silence for a few moments of thinking.
“So what are we going to do?” Fluttershy asked.
“Can we…not help him?” Rainbow asked.
“I don’t want to help Valiant, oh Celestia no, but… I worry that the alternative might be worse,” Twilight said.
“Who knows what could happen if he gets into trouble,” Applejack agreed.
“There’s the problem of figuring out what he needs help with and where he is,” Rarity pointed out.
“I thought he went to the moon,” Pinkie recalled. “We can just ask Princess Luna when we go to the Gala.”
They all agreed that was the best plan. Twilight said, “At least we can get a party in before plunging into the unknown to assist a psychopath.”
“Righteous!” Tree Hugger. “Count me in!”
“She’s my plus one for the Gala,” Fluttershy explained.
“Rarity, and me are taking our sisters,” Applejack said. “Rainbow’s taking Guinness.”
“We’re getting Spike to take along Scootaloo since Rarity already has a ticket of her own,” said Twilight.
“Who are you going with?” Rainbow asked.
Twilight blushed. “Er…”
“Wow, Fluttershy gets a date and you don’t!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“It’s not like this is a date date!” Twilight protested. “My not getting a guest to go to the gala with me isn’t based on sexual attractiveness!”
Pinkie threw a hoof around her neck. “Oh Twilight, we’re just kidding. We know it’s not because you’re destined to be forever alone.”
Twilight grumbled under her breath.
“So getting back to the Gala, we should probably get going if we’re going to arrive there on time,” Rarity suggested.
She was right. Between the train and getting dressed and rounding up the CMC, they were cutting things a little close.
“Ohmygosh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I forgot that Maud was coming!” She rushed off. The rest took her cue and went to get ready.
Back in the library, Twilight packed her bags. The door opened and Bible came in. A solution to her single status suddenly appeared to Twilight. “Bible, can I ask you something?”
“Certainly.” Bible laid down the books he was carrying and looked up.
“Would you…like to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me?”
“I don’t know what that is, but all right.”
“It’s a fancy party in Canterlot,” Twilight explained. “We might be cutting it a little close to get you an outfit, but I’d like you to go.”
“I’m sure I can find something,” Bible said. “Thank you for inviting me.”
The group of Gala goers met at the train station later that day and headed for Canterlot. Twilight looked around. “Where are Trixie and Daring?”
“They said something about having an adventure,” Rarity provided.
“Did they mean having an adventure, or having an adventure?” Pinkie asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
“We were all thinkin’ it, you didn’t need to say it,” Applejack grumped.
The others made ready to board the train. It was perhaps unwise for Guinness and Rainbow to bring Skyla along, but Rainbow had publically stated that she didn’t trust anypony else to watch the filly, and Guinness was too nice to inflict her upon anypony else.
But speaking of infliction – Bible’s getup! Twilight’s jaw dropped when she saw him.
“What?” Bible said, seeing her face. “Is there something wrong?”
“You’re wearing leather! Twilight accused.
“What’s wrong with being covered in leather? I’m a book. Even though I’m a pony now, I’m still made of skin.”
“It’s a social taboo. Where did you get that?”
“From Sir Win.” Bible frowned. “Yes, in hindsight I can see the problem with this.”
“Just…at least take off the mask and the spiked collar,” Twilight said.
Bible did, leaving himself in just the long leather trenchcoat. It was better, although still not the kind of thing someone would wear to the Grand Galloping Gala.
The train arrived in Canterlot and they headed for the castle. Princess Celestia greeted them as they entered the ballroom.. “Ah, hello everypony, so glad you could make it. My, my, Bible, that’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping somepony would wear to the Grand Galloping Gala. These events are ever so dull.”
“Well, then you’ll be happy to know what we plan to do for an afterparty,” said Rainbow.
Celestia smiled. “I’d love to hear about it.”
They partied. It was a pretty standard Gala. The aristocrats were horrified by the yokels from Ponyville. Monocles popped. Swoons were had.
Applejack’s dress had been refitted, but it still stretched tight over her muscles. Other guests were alternately horrified and mesmerized, depending on their individual fixations.
Or as Pinkie would say, “You’ve got lesbians and submissives all over your tail, AJ!”
Pinkie didn’t say that, though. She preferred to watch.
That is, when she wasn’t watching something else. Her eyes fell on the desert table. “B-R-B, I’m going to go eat cake,” she said.
“What kind of cake?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie gave her a look. “Twilight, please. All of the cakes.”
The rest turned to other entertainment.
The Gala was designated a no-politics zone. It was the closest thing the Princesses got to partying, and they tolerated no work. That didn’t stop a few minor platforms from launching an unofficial forum.
Walking through the crowd, one could hear a variety of ideas and motions that may or may not ever make it to official government correspondence.
“We really should do something about these immigrants.”
“Governent healthcare? More like government shmealthcare!”
“Taxes are too high.”
“We need more funding.”
“Valiant did nothing wrong.”
There were a few familiar faces from Ponyville. Cheerilee was there, looking alert and not enjoying herself at all. Filthy Rich made an appearance. Cordoba, one of the kids that had been hanging around the CMC, seemed to be missing an escort.
Later that night, the girls eventually located Luna.
“I was told that you’re planning an afterparty,” the Princess said.
Twilight confirmed it. “We want to go to the moon.”
“Wait, what?” said Guinness.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you because you’d want to go,” Rainbow said. “Somepony has to stay here and watch the kids.”
Guinness looked around at Skyla and the CMC. He shook his head. “No. Screw that. You need me to go to the moon. As a member of the only country from the only species to ever travel there under the power of chemical rocketry, I understand better than anypony the kinds of things Valiant might have done up there.”
“Good point,” said Twilight. “Spike can watch the kids.”
“What?!” demanded Spike, but everyone was already talking over him.
“It will be quite a large group,” said Luna, counting heads. Applejack, Rainbow, Guinness, Rarity, Twilight, Bible, Pinkie, Maud, Fluttershy, and Tree Hugger made ready.
Luna concentrated, closing her eyes and building magic, showing just how much power the spell would take, even for the Princess of the Moon.
“Twilight,” she murmured, “could you please help me out with the air supply?”
“Right,” Twilight agreed. She quickly cast a spell of her own, encasing the rest with head bubbles.
“And here…we…go…!” With a flash of blue magic, the eleven of them teleported out of the castle.
They landed on the moon, hooves sinking into the grey dust. As far as the eye could see, the surface extended like, well, a moonscape.
“Far out…” breathed Tree Hugger.
Maud bent down for a close look at the lunar ground. Not satisfied with a few pebbles she found, she announced, “I’ll be right back,” and tunneled into the surface.
The rest displayed various degrees of excitement. Bible crossed himself. Guinness was wearing a grin from ear to ear. Pinkie discovered that she could bounce even higher in the lower gravity.
To Rainbow’s consternation, she found that with no air, she couldn’t fly. Fortunately, in space no one can hear you bitch about things.
The group wandered around in amazement for a few minutes before any of them remembered their purpose. Twilight asked, “Princess, do you know where Valiant’s place is?”
Luna nodded. “The dark side.”
They made the trek around the moon. It didn’t take long, the moon being so small. Guinness noted that it seemed to be scaled down from Earth-moon, just like the planet was scaled down from Earth.
In the darkness of the other side of the moon, it was difficult to see, but in the distance a hulking structure was silhouetted. They knew they were in the right place when they passed a set of gates that bore Valiant’s cutie mark.
The gates and the wall they were set in carried strange speckles. Twilight paused and used a light spell, going for a closer look. There were pockmarks all over the stone. Frowning, she rejoined the group.
The moonbase they approached was dark. It was possible that Valiant was sleeping, but the unusual totalitarian darkness seemed odd. At the very least, they should have expected a courtesy light at the front gate.
Applejack was the first to notice something suspicious with the landscape. “Do y’all notice that it looks like the lawn is all torn up?”
The moondust had been groomed perfectly flat inside the walls of the compound. Yet here and there were craters that looked like recent explosions rather than meteor strikes.
There was still no indication that their presence had been noted. Even if Valiant was asleep, as they got closer to the main building, they expected something to happen. It was simply inconceivable that he would construct such a secure fortress and not have any kind of security system.
That, combined with the chunks of concrete blown out of the walls of the main building, indicated that something was seriously out of sorts.
“This smells fishy,” Pinkie commented. “And not even in the good space-fish kind of way.”
“Space-fish?” Applejack asked.
Pinkie nodded. “Don’t you know that space is an ocean?”
They circled around, looking for a way inside. The walls were peppered with impacts, but they still seemed secure.
“Perhaps whatever happened didn’t make it through the defenses,” Luna said.
That hope was dashed when they came upon a gaping hole in the wall, objects strewn around it that had been blown out during the depressurization.
“Should we go inside?” Rainbow asked.
The reinforced concrete walls began to rumble and the scattered stones started to vibrate.
“Enope,” Applejack decided.
They were all on their way back to the front gate when a great glut of goo poured out the hole in the wall.
“Smooze!” Fluttershy screamed.
None of them had any idea what that was, but it seemed like a great idea to GTFO.
They ran while Luna gathered power for the spell. Running through powdery dust was difficult, but blobs don’t move very well, either.
However, the Smooze still seemed to be gaining on them. Its green gelatinous mass loomed larger and larger like a tidal wave. Ironic because the moon makes tides, eh?
They kept running into the light side of the moon. Looking back seemed futile, but if any of them had, they would have seen a blob big enough to Smooze them all.
That was when Maud burst from the ground out of a tunnel directly in the Smooze’s path. Even with a huge boulder in her hooves, the low gravity sent her soaring into the air.
The Smooze was going too fast to stop and plunged into the hole. Maud slammed the boulder down on top, sealing it off.
“Wow, Maud!” Twilight exclaimed. “You saved us! How did you do that?”
“The moon rocks,” Maud said. Everyone stared at her. “That was a pun.”
Pinkie cracked up laughing.
Safe now, everyone took a moment to sort themselves out. Applejack happened to glance up. “Hey y’all, do you see what I see?”
“Oh,” whispered Fluttershy. “I’ve never seen the planet like this before. So beautiful.”
“I noticed something,” Applejack said. “Check out the forest near Ponyville.”
They all spotted what she was talking about: the message that had been burned into the forest. What they had originally thought it spelled was incomplete. It actually said “HELPLESS” and featured an arrow pointing towards Ponyville.
Twilight turned to Rainbow. “Really? You just stopped reading after help? Once again, your short attention span has resulted in shenanigans.”
“This series of events only gets more confusing,” Rarity observed. “It seems that Valiant wasn’t actually asking for help, but now that we’ve arrived here it seems that he does actually need it.”
“But the impacts on the walls of his stronghold didn’t seem to be caused by anything the Smooze could do,” Luna pointed out. “It must have been some other kind of attack.”
“And where is Valiant, anyway?” added Applejack.
Guinness clapped his hooves together. “Well gang, it looks like we have a mystery to solve.”
“No,” said Rainbow. “I’m pretty sure all of us are ready to go home and never visit this place again.”
Everyone else agreed. “Let’s go home,” said Twilight.
However, just then there was an enormous bloom of light from the planet above that made them all shut their eyes.
“What in the-“ Applejack blurted. The others murmured mild exclamations or confused questions.
The light started to dissipate, giving way to a mushroom cloud that obscured nearly the whole continent.
Guinness gulped. “Houston, you have a problem.”