//------------------------------// // Captain Rainbow Dash And Her Whale // Story: Ynanhluutr // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “Anything yet, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash remarked. Twilight Sparkle hovered invisibly around the canoe, peering deeply into the undulating waves. The two boats were nearly half a kilometer away from the western edge of the Atoll; the land strips were distant brown-and-green lines on the bobbing horizon. “Twilight?” Rainbow coughed/uttered at the same time. Twilight turned about, shaking her head. “Not even a spark... or a glimmer,” she said. “Rainbow...” She hovered closer, whispering as though the other ponies might somehow hear her. “What if our first encounter with Ultimo was an isolated incident?” Rainbow glanced over her shoulder at the yawning Nealenders in their boats. “These guys are whacked-out meatheads,” Rainbow murmured under her breath. “But they're at least honest.” She glanced at the phantom unicorn. “If they claim to have 'hunted' Ultimo multiple times, then I believe them.” “Yes, only they've never had a scale by which they could predict his appearances,” Twilight said. She gazed apathetically at the pile of spears packed inside their canoe. “It's almost as if we're grasping at straws to make anything happen.” Rainbow smirked ever so slightly. “You're not really a fan of winging it, are you?” “Anything that lacks a statistical scientific objectivity just...” Twilight shuddered. “...makes me feel like my insides are filled with Spike's claws raking against chalkboard.” “Wowsers, Twilight,” Rainbow chuckled quietly. “That's quite the friggin' pull. Heh.” “So, my good mare,” Theanim spoke from where he sat beside a barely-awake Kaji. “When are you ever going to tell me about this 'Twilight?'” Twilight blushed. Rainbow instantly clammed up. Theanim Mane smirked. “You've told me about your Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. How exactly does Princess Twilight fit in?” “I'm not a Princess!” “She's not a princess,” Rainbow Dash grunted. Theanim arched his eyebrow. “Do I detect some hostility in your tone?” “Meh.” Rainbow slumped against the side of the canoe with a sigh. “Forgive me if I'm not a fan of you calling me out on the Verlaxion debate in front of everypony.” “What...” Theanim gestuered towards Silver and Flare's boat off to the side. “You mean in front of our mutual serpent-hunters here?” “It was totally uncool.” “Still, they seemed... erm... totally un-uncool with the concepts you've divulged,” Theanim said with a smirk. “If you forgive the double negative.” Rainbow turned her head and squinted at the stallion. “...I can't tell when you're serious about stuff or when you're not.” “I am seriously curious,” Theanim said. “Ever and always. Your visualizations on Verlaxion cosmology are quite intriguing—” “They're not visualizations, Dr. Dude,” Rainbow grumbled. “They're observations.” “And how do you know you're not deluding yourself?” Rainbow sat straight up with a snarling tone to her voice: “Because I'm not you!” Kaji snorted, then rolled back into sleep. Theanim, meanwhile, frowned at the mare. “Well, now that's rather harsh—” “Is it?!” Rainbow gnashed her teeth. “At least I've flown out into the real world and put myself into places to observe everything! Even if I had a faith in my Princesses and in Harmony, I'd sure as heck have had them tested by now!” “And just what would you have learned?” “Simply this!” Rainbow sat up straight across from him. “Princesses or Goddesses... Queens or Divines... what matters in life is you and how you decide to deal with crud! You don't learn the same thing by sitting on a pile of all of yesterday's dusty dogma and pretending to call it scientific message!” “That's scientific 'method,'” Twilight said. She smiled. “But, all things considered, bravo!” “Twilight, I've got this—srnkkk!” Rainbow winced. “Stop catching me off-guard, will ya!” Theanim couldn't help but blink. “...I don't know if you're insanely brilliant or brilliantly insane.” “What's it even matter to you?!” She frowned at the stallion. “You know, for a photographer, you could stand to open your eyes more!” Theanim's ears folded back. When he spoke, it was in a curiously soft tone: “What do you think I've been trying to do, Miss Dash?” Rainbow gazed at him, panting at the end of her outburst. She was briefly at a loss of words. “Uhhh... Rainbow?” Twilight murmured, squirming in mid-air. “From now on,” Rainbow Dash droned. “I don't wanna hear another word about Verlaxion or the Scientific Order or the Six Tribes.” She frowned. “Let's just keep things to Ultimo and the Shard, alright?” “Rainbow...?!” Twilight spun faster and faster circles around the canoe. “If you wanna begin your own philosophical journey, do it on your own time, buddy,” Rainbow snarled. “I'm busy doing far more important things!” “Rainbow!” Twilight hollered in the pegasus' ear. Rainbow jerked to the side. “Friggin' what?!?” Almost instantly, her wings drooped. A giant mass had formed beneath the waves, growing larger and larger. The surface of the ocean began bubbling. “Is there something the matter, Miss Dash?” Theanim remarked, standing up. “It'll be here in seconds, Rainbow!” Twilight's voice cracked. “I've never sensed something that big move so fast before—” “He's here! He's here!” Rainbow shouted, hovering up from where she sat. “Uhm... evasive splashing... or something!” “Snkkkt—Huh?” Kaji awoke, eyes bleary. “What?” “Ultimo? Pffft!” Sora smirked. “I don't see so much as a tadpole!” “Unnnngh!” Rainbow tossed her eyes—and her mane. “Hold on!” She zipped towards the rear of the canoe and gave it a mighty shove. “Hey!” Kaji yelped, falling over against Theanim in the canoe. “That's my job! What do you think you're doing... land... … walker...” His breath gave way as he felt the spray of water from every fathomable direction. Flare and Silver yelped from the adjacent vessel. “Don't be silly,” Nick said, sealing the edges of the freshly patched hull. “If worse comes to worse, I'd buy her a wig.” “Oh please...” Sinrar rolled his eyes, lounging in the shade of a palm tree a few spaces away from where the younger stallion worked on the Swan Song. The old professor fanned himself and smirked. “You'll never bring the bird back to K.M.C.A. So why bother daydreaming about it?” “Okay, for one—don't call mares 'birds.' It's not polite.” “She's got wings, though, eh?” “Not all pegasi are the same!” Nick pouted. “Flare's nothing at all like Rainbow Dash, so stop comparing her to the harpy—I mean...” His purple eyes crossed. “Hah hah hah hah!” Sinrar laughed. “Hrmmmf...” Nick folded his forelimbs. “Why do you friggin' care anyways?” “Huzzuwhat?” “Stop acting as if there's an ounce of you inside that crusty old shell that would give a darn about my romantic exploits.” “Nothing romantic about a ship that was sunk long before it was cast off, larva,” Sinrar said. “Besides... who says it'd be you doing the exploiting. Hrmmmf. Young idiots these days just don't know what they're trotting into.” Nick squinted at the graying pegasus. “...you are concerned about me, aren't you?” “Hmmm?” Sinrar blinked, then frowned. “Merde! The sun's gotten to your empty head! Give it a rest already...” “Heheheheh...” Nick grinned. “I never thought I'd feel so tingly inside.” “Shove off!” Sinrar barked. “Sorry to crush your dreams, but I'm not putting a dress on and asking you to the ball.” “Heh.” Nick turned once more towards the Swan Song. “The only thing that'd ever date you, old stallion, is one of those ancient deer from beyond the Blight that you've dug up.” “For the last time, I never dug up any of the Val Roans—” Sinrar's speech cut off. His pupils shrank as he sat up in a shocked stupor. “Mon dieu...” “Hmm?” Nick traced the professor's line of sight. He gazed out into the sea, then instantly grimaced. A gigantic skyscraper had emerged from the waters—only it wasn't a tower at all, but the lengthy hide of an enormous sea serpent lunging over three hundred feet out of the ocean's surface. It's cavernous jaws dribbled with water, snapping at the open air. After a torturous eternity, the weight of it collapsed back into the brine, sending horrendous waves rippling in every direction. There was no sign of the canoes anywhere.