On the Corner of Straight and Narrow

by Tatsurou


Mysterious Toys

After successfully recovering the futuristic power core - along with a scanner wearing a 'Carol' nametag which they left with the C.O.P.S. in the Desoto, backing away quickly when 'Curt' the speak and say and 'Chippy' the beeper started flirting - they used the demon broth and the power core - along with jumper cables from the Desoto - to resurrect the brain.

"You did it Sam, Max, and Trixie!" the brain began. "You have-"

"We already saw this part through the Eyes," Trixie complained. "Can we skip it?"

"It's not wise to play with the laws of causality so freely," the brain chided, "but I suppose this once can't hurt too much. ...though I'm not sure how you could see the vision when it didn't happen-"

"Quantum Uncertainty and multiverse theorem," Jane explained. "They witnessed the future that would have happened eventually if they hadn't seen it. They'd have figured out how to resurrect you eventually on their own."

"How?" the brain demanded.

"Probably by asking me," Jane replied. "I'm the internet, after all. If all else failed, I would have attempted hacking Skunkape's computer records aboard ship."

"That would not have been wise," the brain replied. "The security-"

"Has no defense against magic in the circuitry, which I have developed ways to synthesize in small amounts."

The brain was quiet for a time. "Perhaps you four can stop General Skun-ka'pe after all. He is...he is...oh...something's happening."

The brain began to shudder, and the machinery began to flash. "Toys detected," a computerized voice stated. "Toys detected."

"What are you doing, brain?" Sam demanded. "Cut it out!"

"I can't help it!" the brain replied. "I'm..." He shuddered again, and his voice changed. "Oooommmmmm... Yog-Soggoth nagul oram! Yog-Soggoth nogul oram!"

Skunkape suddenly burst in. "Gordon's alive?" he demanded in surprise and apparent anger. "I mean," he added, quickly changing his tone of voice, "what a pleasant surprise! Tell me friend brain, where is the toy?"

"Two...toys..." Gordon began. "...too weak...can't trace..." He groaned weakly.

"Curses!" Skun-ka'pe proclaimed. "Very well," he growled. "I'll find them myself."

As he left, Gordon became more active. "Is he gone?"

"Yeah, the coast is clear," Sam explained. "What just happened?"

"I don't know," Gordon admitted. "I've never felt anything like that. The toys of this planet must have astonishing power!"

As the three discussed the one toy inside the ship - the phone teleporter - Trixie's eyes widened as realization hit her. "Gordon," she asked, "do...do these toys use extra-dimensional energy?"

"Why, yes," Gordon admitted while Sam and Max retrieved the tele-phone. "How did you know?"

"Because a month ago, Satan gave Trixie a spell that detects concentrations of extra-dimensional energy, saying it was a spell Trixie would need."

Gordon gasped out. "If you can bring me a map, I can combine my energies with those of your spell and give you the exact location of the toys, marking them on your map so you can retrieve them before Skun-ka'pe does!"

"I believe I have one of those with me," Agent Superball said suddenly, coming up behind them.

While Sam and Max were surprised and started asking questions, Trixie focused on getting the locations of two toys in the city via Gordon, her tracking spell, and the map.

"Oh dear," Gordon commented after the spell, as Sam, Max, and Superball discussed things such as the Penal Zone and various other information. "There's something on this planet far more dangerous than the toys...something you can not let Skun-ka'pe find."

"We'll do our best!" Trixie proclaimed.

"Alright," Sam said, having finished questioning Superball. "We need to talk to Momma Bosco about opening the Penal Zone portal, and find Skun-ka'pe's prisoner badge."

"And get these two toys!" Trixie proclaimed, holding up the city map with the toy locations marked.

"Right," Sam agreed. "Let's go!"


As per Gordon's request, Max demonstrated the teleportation power. While passing through, Sam opened his eyes and witnessed a horrifying overflow of images. However, mixed in with the horror...were a surprising number of images of Trixie. And Trixie herself seemed to be surrounded by a protective halo. "As interesting as this is," Sam murmured, "I'm going to keep my eyes shut from now on when we do this."


When the trio arrived at Momma Bosco's, Sam was immediately grabbed by one of Skunkape's gorillas...who promptly found himself and his partner hanging from distant flagpoles by their shorts.

"What just happened?" Sam asked.

"They spooked Trixie," Trixie pointed out, rubbing her horn as the sparks faded.

"Thanks for getting rid of those Gorillas, Trixie," Momma Bosco said happily.

"Can you build us a remote control for a gateway to the Penal Zone?" Trixie asked cutely.

"Already have a remote control for the dimensional destabilizer," Momma Bosco replied. "I suppose reversing the polarity to go out instead of in should do it."

Smiling, Sam pocketed the remote control.

"It'll only stay open a few minutes, though," Momma Bosco warned. "Anyone holding something tuned to the selected dimension will get sucked right in."

Trixie examined the remote with her magic, and her horn sparked. A strange looking badge appeared. "Ouch!" she complained as Max caught it.

"What's this?" he asked, holding it up.

"According to my scanners, it's attuned to the Penal Zone," Momma Bosco pointed out. "If I'd had to guess, that extra-dimensional energy tracking spell combined with the energy of the dimensional destabilizer to drag anything attuned to the Penal Zone to you."

"Convenient!" Sam said, happily pocketing the Prisoner's Badge.

"Now all that's left is finding those wonderful toys!" Max cackled happily.


Eventually, their quest for the toys led to a toy store. However, Trixie had grown dizzy from excessive magic use by that point, and they proved defenseless as Skunkape tracked them down and captured them.

When Trixie awakened, they found themselves back in the original vision of the future, locked up in SKunkape's ship.

"Alright," Sam said. "We know how to beat this."

"But things are different!" Trixie pointed out. "Girl Stinky's locked up!"

Sam checked his inventory. "And I don't have the remote control!"

"We'll worry about that later!" Max proclaimed. "Let's just get the prisoner badge on Skunkape!"

"How do we get out?" Sam asked. "Before, we got out by using the teleportation power with Stinky's cell phone, but-"

There was a sudden screech of twisted metal as the bars of the cage warped in a power blue aura, until the path was wide open.

Trixie blinked up at Sam. "Trixie...is hungry."

Grinning, Sam and Max both stepped out. The trio then turned and discovered that the noise had made 'sneaking up' on Skunkape impossible.

"You didn't really think you'd be able to sneak after making such a racket, did you?" Skunkape demanded. "Or complete your previous vision without these?" He then held up the Eyes of Yog-Soggoth, the rhinoplasty, and the deck of cards.

"Whoops," Sam muttered.

"Uncle Sam," Trixie whispered. "Pull out the beacon, and drop it at my signal."

Confused, Sam did so as Skunkape went into his victory rant.

Grinning widely, Skunkape began pushing buttons on his bridge.

The instant the Penal Zone portal began to open, Trixie shouted, "Now!"

Sam dropped the badge, and Trixie cast two quick spells. The first disconnected the anti-matter bomb from Max's back. The second was the substitution spell she'd demanded Satan teach her. As it happened, Skunkape's mass exactly equaled the combined mass of the trio.

"What the-?" Skunkape demanded.

Anything further was cut off as the beacon - weighed down by the anti-matter bomb - attached to Skunkape from the suction force of the portal, dragging him into the Penal Zone.

"Success!" Sam proclaimed. "Nice fast thinking, Trixie!"

Trixie smiled proudly. "But of course! What else did you expect from the Great and Powerful-"

"So, do any of us know how to fly a spaceship?" Max asked.