"Oooo. What's this place?" Psycho asked. The colorful pony was in awe at the sight before him. He had never seen such enormous cities, even in Equestria. A long, curly mustache grew from his snout and he began to diabolically rub his forehooves together. DIABOLICAL!
"Hmmm? I thought you were going to leave," Mask said.
Psycho was standing on a Crow's Nest and rotating within it while holding a telescope. "Nonsense? Why would I leave such a place that's just ripe for the Illogic?" His smile widened as he looked down. To his surprise, he spotted a rather large giant stomping out of a bank with several bags of money in tow. "Thar, cap'n! A sea whale!" he shouted.
"Where?" Mask asked. He was dressed as a salty sea captain wearing a blue fisher's outfit complete with a white beard, an eyepatch, a pipe, and a harpoon. "Psycho?" The Mask looked down to see that the colorful pony was standing right in front of the behemoth, and he screamed in a cartoony fashion with his eyes flying out of his head, orbiting it a few times, then landing back in his head so the pilots could be greeted by confetti and their families.
The giant in front of Psycho had the likeness of Frankenstein's monster, except his skin was gray, he had a scar running along his left face; possessed, flat head, orange hair; and wore an immense blue suit and pants with a white shirt, black tie, and black, leather shoes. He did not speak, but his imposing physique and height usually got the point across. The colorful stallion refused to let the giant pass. He was having too much fun. The giant lift an eyebrow in irritation, lift his gigantic left foot to stomp on the stallion who did not move an inch. In fact, his eyes had swirved to the sides and he was drooling through his smile.
Suddenly, the giant was tossed backwards and onto his stomach. Mask had arrived just in time. He flipped said man with a giant spatula and was wearing a cook's outfit complete with giant hat. He was even super fat and adorned very thin, but twirly, black mustaches.
"Ah. Ze pony. 'E iz not for stomping, Walter. 'E is for savoring!" Mask spoke with a terrible French accent. When he turned to look at Psycho, he saw that he was just drooling and looking in two different directions and fell to his knees while crying. He was back into his usual, yellow, attire. "Nohohooooo! Why? WHYYYY?! Why did you do this, Walter? WHY?!" Mask hugged Psycho who only smile wider, then his head popped like a balloon, scaring Mask. He put on a uniform of an inspector and started to analyze the crime scene. "Hmmm. It seems like YOU are the culprit, Walter!"
Mask aimed an immense magnifying glass the size of the giant, at him. Walter frowned a bit, showing his teeth, and grabbed Mask to squeeze him painfully.
"Hey, bub. Haven't you ever heard that assaulting a member of the law is illegal?" Mask strained to say.
"Stop right there, criminal scum!" a commanding voice spoke behind the two.
The source was Psycho who was wearing a mask the shape of a steam train. "I am El Loco-motive! That is MY partner you are hurting!"
Walter looked back to Mask and started to strangle him again. Psycho-errr, El Locomotive felt insulted. "Hmmm. He doesn't like my performance. Must be a fan of Tommy Wisseau. Hey, Walter, it's time for your 5'o clock shadow!"
"Don't you mean ride?" Mask asked painfully while Walter twisted him like taffy.
Psycho degraded into a stick figure and said 'Wat' while his body tilted downwards. A loud whistle came from down the block, and an enormous steam train began its trek through the city at the three. Psycho poofed into bubbles, leaving Walter and Mask to be impacted. The green mask's hat slowly descended upon the air with a brisk of depression and abandon. Colors faded from the world as it slowly fell into the watery gutter. Its owner was no more. Rosebuuuuuuud.
"Heeeey. What're you trying to pull, Psycho? You bleached my hat!" Mask grumbled.
Psycho was lying down on Mask's head and was smiling very widely. "So-rry."
The green faced man put a hand into Psycho's ear and pulled out a bucket of yellow paint. "You're lucky you have a colorful personality."
The hat was dipped into the paint bucket, returning it to its original color. Psycho jump upwards from Mask's head so said man could wear his hat once more. Psycho returned by phasing out of the ground as though he had just jumped again. He looked at the bags of money and wondered: "Should we return these to the bank?"
"I do not know. Would it be honarabru?" Mask asked with a Japanese accent.
He was wearing Japanese Samurai armor. Wanna know what it looks like? Use your imagination. That's what a book is for...What do you mean I'm supposed to write it? LIES! Oh, so you want the names? He was wearing a kabuto with a nodowa around his neck, sado on his two shoulders; small, hato-o-no-ita over his chest; kote arm guards over his...arms, do armor on his body, haidate leg skirts over his legs, sune-ate protecting the front of his legs and kyahan protecting the rest, along with tusurumaki books. Don't know what those are, do you? Well...I'll never tell! Nyahahahaha! DIABOLICAL!
Everyone in the bank was recovering from the affair, with people helping others up and some employees trying to assess the damages done. The single counter covering the whole of one side had been completely destroyed while the desks all around were tossed away. The light of the bank disappeared, however, when they looked at the entryway, they said an amorphous mass of colorful, blobby flesh moaning and screaming as it slowly slid in. Everyone screamed and ran towards the safe to lock themselves within it. The blobby mass flickered and phased out of existence. It was being created by a projector that Mask was holding.
"What's wrong with them?" Mask asked.
Psycho shrugged.
"Might as well drop the bags back here, grab a meal of, oooooooo, say a few hundred pizzas with Stanley's credit card, then go limbo at the Coco Bongo!" Mask gasped. "And I need to feed Milo!"
"Coco Bongo?" Psycho wondered.
Psycho was grabbed by Mask who crushed him into a hug and stretched his arm out as though presenting an enormous array of objects or a landscape. "It's a great place with limbooooo, food, and babes!"
The colorful stallion had become a foal and asked: "Tell me more, daddy."
The security cameras picked up the whole event both inside and outside of the bank, but it was not recording for the director. It was recording for someone else in another location.
"Curious. An equine creature with a cartoony appearance that appears to have power similar to The Mask, although his seem to defy logic more than Mask. If I could capture it, I could use it as a weapon against Mask, finally defeat him, and have the power to rule over Edge City! I just need to convince it, but how to do that?"
Mask stopped before taking one step then yelled: "Wait, how are we going to reach the Coco Bongo without a car?!"
"What's a car?" Psycho narrowed his eyes.
"You don't know what a car is?"
"No. I do have this, though."
Psycho reached into his hat and pulled out a car of unknown manufacture. "I didnt get to paint it yet."
"Uhhhh...that's a car." Mask pointed.
"No it's not. It's an Automobile."
"That's the same thing?"
"UWOT?!" Psycho's eyes bulged out of his head in false rage.
The world around them spun around and blurred, then lit back up. Mask was standing opposite of Psycho and dancing a little bit in place while Psycho bounced from side to side on his two legs, as per his usual walking stance. They were both standing across from each other and smiling cheerfully, and a text appeared above them.
Mask used 'Car'!
Mask picked up a car from the ground and tossed it at Psycho. The pony was caught in an explosion and suffered four potatoes!
"Potatoes?" Mask reared his head.
Yeah. Potatoes. What, are you spudcist?
Mask took on the appearance of a hillbilly as he wore a cap and overalls with no shirt. He was pretty thin, save for his beer belly. He even had a long overbite and was hewing on a piece of straw. "No siree Bob. Ah dun grow the bestest of puhtayters."
Psycho used thinking.
The pony stood atop a box while the sunset descended, in front of his eyes, upon a river of gold.
Psycho's existential crisis rose by one point!
Mask prepared himself and took on his wrestler's appearance from Equestria. He grabbed Psycho from his back, surprising the pony, then jumped high into the air.
Mask used Zangief hug.
Psycho was spun around violently then slammed into the ground head first, but he hopped back up, scaring Mask.
It had no effect.
Psycho took a massive rocket launcher and fired icecream from it at Mask. The man spun around and was now extremely muscular and wearing his superhero costume.
"Haha! Your rockets are no match for Lactose Intolerant Man!"
Psycho suddenly stopped, and his face tightened. "Wait...wouldn't that mean you'll get sick when in contact with milk?"
Mask closed his eye and lift his right finger as though he were about to state a great fact, then said finger drooped down and his smile turned into a worried frown. "Oh..."
The world returned to normal and the man bent over the gutter to heave ho. When he finally came to, Mask turned around to see that Psycho had disappeared. Putting his hands to his chin, Mask recovered his inspector's outfit, but, this time, with the face of a green dog possessing an abnormally long nose.
"Now then, it appears that the pony has gone off to a place I know not. I must search for him!"
Without hesitation, the man smashed his face into the concrete sidewalk, tossing bits and pieces everywhere, then he started to audibly say 'sniff' rather poshly while he walked forward.
Meanwhile, Psycho found himself attached onto a metal table within an isolated room whose walls were covered with equally space lumps. The entirety of the room was a dark blue color reminiscent of the shifting night sky during sunset. A large window, nearly three-fourths the width of the room, was lodged comfortably within the wall. It was a one-way window and looked like a mirror to Psycho, but he knew someone was on the other side. A click resounded, and the pony could now clearly see who was on the other side of the window. The table slowly bent downwards to give Psycho a more comfortable view of the scenery.
Clearly, he was in some sort of scientific installation, judging by the many flashing lights embedded in the walls as well as all the computers and other computational hardware. Psycho didn't know what any of these were, however. What he was most interested in was the man looking directly at him. This man had wild, buqhy, orange eyebrows that nearly reached his ears. They even rose up a few times, creating an impression of flickering flames. His hair was only a mohawk that followed the same principles as his eyebrows, although everything lead backwards. His skin was a sickly pale coloration that put in perspective a weird mark just above his nasal bridge and between his eyebrows that was rather similar in position to the Hindou Bindi. Unlike the bindi, however, his was a larger circle surrounding a smaller one at its center. His eyes...were unseen behind two large, red lens with a black outline. They were not interconnected nor were they attached to his ears in any way. As for other facial traits, his chin was very narrow and very prominent, as were his cheek bones. Both seemed to be separate extensions of his body, at best.
He wore an open, bluish purple coat, a black shirt with red linings surrounding his collar and going down the shirt's middle, as well as gray pants, black gloves with a rectangular opening at the top of the wrists, and black leather shoes. He sat in a brown, rotating chair and was smiling at Psycho.
"So, I take it you aren't from this world, equine?" He waited for an answer, but continued when he understood he was going to get no replies from this creature. "I am Pretorious, a scientific genius and future ruler of Edge City. Of course, I mean no harm to its inhabitants. If you are capable of speech, would you, perhaps, mind telling me your name?" There was still silence. "I also take it you are friends with the Mask. You know, he isn't all you believe him to be. He might seem 'fun' and 'friendly', but he is one of the most vicious of monsters across time. He has often attacked and killed others in his thirst for conquest!" Even here, there was no reaction, so Pretorius spun around in his chair and laid his head on his crossed fingers.
While he thought to himself, Psycho got out of his restraints and started to clown around in his cell. He kayak'd through the cell from one end to another, then he did it again whilst performing the can-can with dancing carrots. He even silently recreated the birth of the Monster of Frankenstein complete with a version of him dressed as the doctor and Egor. Egor pulled a lever, and lightning struck the table. Two arms tore out from below the cloth, revealing the monster sitting upright to be the Monster of Frankenstein. The window was even in black and white and had the classic filth in the 'lens'. It was soon covered by a black window with white text saying 'He lives! He loves! He can perform bone-crushing bear hugs!'. The window faded to show Egor and Frankenstein running away from the monster as they circled the table several times.
When Pretorius turned back around, he expected to catch it performing ridiculous antics as Mask had a habit of doing. To his pleasure, the equine had not moved an inch from its spot.
"Hmmm. If I caNNot use you, I will simply hAve to extract your power and Use it for my newest machine," he spoke with a rather nasally voice that emphasized certain parts of his words. He didn't do it earlier. Strange.
Pretorius took a squarish remote out of his pocket and pushed a single red button on it. Who designs those things? Acme? It's like a little kid wanted to make a 'universal' straw or something. Not a good joke? Ah did wut ah could!
The remote activated a screen showing a raygun above the clouds and pointed directly at Edge City.
"Since it's quite apparent that you and the Mask are steadfast allies, I will not bore you with the details. All I will say is that this weapon will create an electric field that will disturb and empower the clouds to become supercells and destroy Edge City with the most powerful storm that the world has ever seen!"
Looking back to the equine, Pretorius' smile faded to frustration when he witness Psycho had fallen asleep and had a repulsive, giant bubble inflating out of his nose. Ignoring this, Pretorius walked towards one of the counters near his machines and got to work pushing a bunch of keys on his keyboard. The lumps all over the room Psycho was in lit up like Christmas lights and started to drain something from the sleeping stallion. Whatever it was, it had a yellow color to it. The streams were accompanied by a 'vrrrring' sound in air, although this didn't seem to bother the sleeping pony very much.
"The machine was intended to suck out Mask's life force, but I suppose yours will have to do."
"So, you're trying to power a weapon for your stormy doomsday weapon, boss?"
"I thought I told you two to wait outsi-MASK!"
Mask was standing next to Pretorius while wearing a black suit and black sunglasses. His body was also very bulky and muscular.
"How did you find me?"
"That's not important right now. You're late for your appointment."
"What appointment."
"WEDGIE THERAPY! HAHAHAHA!"
Pretorius found his underwear placed over his head, preventing him from seeing whatever it was that Mask was doing. Said man had jumped in front of the window where Psycho was. Mask had curly brown hair and wore a red uniform with a white collar. Psycho wore the same but had pointy ears, smooth and flattened hair, and long, pointy eyebrows. He wore the same uniform as Mask.
"No! You. Can't die. Like this!" Mask spouted.
Psycho's head rotated in place and he slammed it against the window once it was upside down. "It was the only solution. Live long and play the banjo." Psycho quickly stuck his tongue out and slowly slid down the window, creating a screeching sound while his face compressed against the glass.
By this time, Pretorious had successfully removed his wedgie and pointed at the two idiots at the entrance of his lab. "Get him you fools!"
Two extremely muscular men wearing the same outfit with sunglasses that the green faced maniac did earlier charged into the room and tried to grab Mask, but they failed. The man was wearing a Scottish outfit complete with extremely thick, orange hair, beard, and mustache.
"Och! Aye cayn't believe e's ded!" Mask threw his left arm back, smacking the first guard with tannish skin and black hair into the wall. "Oh! Aye kno'! Oy'll give 'im an ode, like in da highlaends!"
He immediately pulled bagpipes out from under his plaid kilt and put them to bare, smacking the second guard, this time with caucasian skin and a brownish-gold hair, into the first, recovering guard. He started to play wildly without tune or rythm. It was so loud and obnoxious that the three others in the room held their hands to their ears and were groaning in pain. The two other guard ran away, bringing about Pretorius' ire.
"Wow. You just can't get good help these days," Psycho said on Pretorius' shoulders.
"What? How did you get out of the chamber?"
"Through the door." Psycho pointed casually at a large, wooden door that appeared out of nowhere on the wall to the left of the window.
"Heeeeyyyyy battabattabatta! Heeeeyyyyy battabattabatta!""
Without having time to react, Mask whacked Pretorius' head off into a computer terminal. Sparks flew everywhere, and Mask looked to his friend whose mouth looked like it was about to burst.
"Don't you say it!"
Psycho whinced.
"Don't you dare say it."
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."
"Don't!"
"He should have gotten a better head on his shoulders!"
"You get a B minus...YOU FAIL!"
Psycho was smashed into the ground by a giant stamp that left a red ink mark spelling 'You fail!' in bold onto the floor. This suffering was short lived as the colorful stallion immediately jumped out of the hole and grabbed Pretorius before he could scamper away with his metallic, spider legs.
"Hey, Mask. Ping!"
"What are you doing? Stop this!" Pretorious ordered.
"Oh boy! I love volley ball!" Mask said. He pulled a volley ball net out from the ground and ripped off his clothes to show himself wearing yellow swimming trunks with white clouds on them."Pong!" he shouted when he hit the 'ball' back.
This lasted for several minutes while the 'pings' and 'pongs' became louder and more violent. At one moment, Mask bulked up to several times his original muscle mass and slammed Pretorious extremely hard and yelling 'PONG!' as loud as he could.
Psycho slid to the side, letting Pretorious cave a crater into the floor. "Ooops. I 'missed'," Psycho innocently said.
The two hopped into the escape shuttle in the wall and blasted off out of the complex, leaving Pretorious' robotic body to pull him out of the crater.
"Ugghh...Mental note, research the colorful equine more thoroughly. Is it a creation of Mask or not? Second mental note: Avoid colorful equines."
Mask and Psycho were now above Edge City on who knows what. Mask crawled up behind the colorful pony who stood on his hindlegs with both forelegs behind his back. He was in a very serious and dark atmosphere.
"Da, what're we gonna do now, Psycho?" Mask asked with a light and nasally voice.
"The same thing we do every night, Mask." Psycho turned around and the dark atmosphere immediately became a bright one. "SURF ON JELLY WAVES!"
"RADICAL, Surfer Dude!" Mask replied with a Californian surfer voice. His blonde hair flowed in the wind.
A giant red tidal wave of jelly flowed through the streets of Edge City, terrifying everyone below and engulfing pretty much all of them in a sticky, sugary coat of sticky, sugary messiness. No. That's not a redundant redundancy.
"So, what'tre you gon' do later, radical pone?"
"I'm just traveling, so I have ALLLLLLLLLLLLL the time in the world."
"What's this? Fish and Putty at three o'clock!"
Psycho pulled a clock out of his head, showing it to be four o'clock. Mask responded to this by smacking him on the head with a sundial.
"No, you idiot. Down there. It's Fish Guy and Putty Thing."
"Oooohoooo. It's time for some Illogic! Eeeehahahaaaa!" Psycho chanted.