Chapter 4: Sickly Sweet
Celestia followed along the winding roads leading to the gates of Canterlot. The distance wasn’t especially great and the terrain wasn’t particularly arduous. Yet... Celestia felt weary, as if something heavy had draped across her shoulders and conspired to weigh her down as she struggled to make her way to the castle. Celestia was not unfamiliar with the feeling, she had felt it the moment the crown had lain upon her head. It was still there, a metaphorical weight brought forth to be physical by her disturbed psyche.
A question danced in her thoughts.
Had she done the right thing?
Of course. There was no question in that.
Had she done what she wanted?
That, she was more unsure of. For as much as she dearly loved her ponies, there had been a slight sliver of opportunity to slip away from the heavy mantle of responsibility and join an unknown creature on a mystical adventure. Something that smacked of intrigue and mystery far deeper than she had merely scratched. Her feelings had always come second. Her duty was prime. Yet, the nagging feeling caused her to feel uneasy.
Did that make her a bad pony? To wish that she could cast away her office, but for a time?
She suspected that question would stay with her for a long time.
Her inner turmoil manifested into a cocoon of brooding as she pondered her predicament. So absorbed was Celestia in her roiling thoughts, that she failed to notice the sudden gasp and clatter of hooves. Or the gathering crowd that had swarmed around her. Or the fevered whispering and laser-like gazes from her fellow ponies.
In fact, she only became aware of all of these things when she arrived at the gates of Canterlot castle. Still lugging along the tiramisu in her golden aura, Celestia stopped at the gate and turned around to face numerous, wide and unblinking eyes.
A unicorn separated himself from the crowd, edging to the forefront and stepping hesitantly forward. It seemed he were to announce their intentions, and she sensed that the crowd waited with bated breath. The stallion never lost eye-contact with Celestia. Once having locked gazes with the Princess, he held it almost brutally while he approached, only briefly breaking it to give a deep bow. Belatedly, but hastily, the rest of the crowd followed suit.
He cleared his throat.
“Princess Celestia?” he said, though his tone indicated more of a query than a statement. It carried something… unrecognisable as an undercurrent.
“Yes?” Celestia replied bemusedly.
“We’re glad to have you back!” he exclaimed, while the crowd erupted in cheers.
Celestia could only gape. She was only gone a day and such a fuss had been made in her absence. She smiled.
“It’s alright, my little pony, I haven’t been gone long,” she said, with a demure smile. “I haven’t abandoned you.”
With no small measure of public theatrics, the stallion broke down crying, shedding tears of… relief? A couple of ponies sidled up apologetically, dragging the stallion away as Celestia struggled to cool the sympathetic flush of embarrassment from her cheeks.
To say that Celestia was confused would be an understatement.
A mare off to the side gave Celestia a pleading look. “Don’t mind him, Princess. It’s been a long year without you,” she said, as the stallion was dragged off. “We didn’t know if you would ever come back.”
It took Celestia about ten seconds for the statement to sink in.
“A year?!” she spluttered, only dimly aware of the clatter of a box carrying a tiramisu hitting the ground.
—————
When Twilight entered Canterlot, she did so with skittish anticipation. The very idea of the heavy weight of responsibility for raising the sun in Celestia’s absence tied knots in her abdomen that Twilight didn’t even know she had. The whole kingdom, nay, the world would rely on her to perform her duties to the fullest. As the thought sunk in, Twilight could feel the tendrils of panic grasp at the edges of her already fractured consciousness.
It was a good thing somepony interrupted her, or she may have engaged in some histrionics. Maybe hyperventilate, or let loose a very small, strangled scream.
“Princess Twilight?”
With a visible effort, Twilight smoothed her features and took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Yes?” she replied. She had made an effort to exude a calm and unflustered voice, but it came out as more of a squeak.
The stallion blinked at her, before continuing. “Princess Luna requests your audience immediately.”
The circumstances have of course been carefully explained in mail. Word after scribed word, Twilight had practically committed the communicative missive to memory with how hard she scrutinised the letter. At first she thought it was wrong. Simply wrong. Princess Celestia hadn’t taken a vacation for… for… forever! She was so constant that she was practically Equestria herself! Then simply, almost out of the blue, Celestia had taken a short vacation and Twilight was urgently summoned to take her place. A most curious set of circumstances, of which its inherent perplexity did nothing to allay her sudden fear of taking on such a heavy mantle.
Twilight had tried to console herself with the fact that Princess Luna would be there to assist her.
The alicorn realised that she had yet to give the poor messenger his reply.
“U-Uh—“ she began, but cut herself off. “I mean, yes. Please lead the way.”
The messenger dipped his head and gestured towards the road. Of course, Twilight could have teleported to the castle, but doing so was poor manners, and there had been… incidents when she had surprised a couple of guards making their rounds. Being bodily tackled by four guards was not an experience Twilight wanted to experience again anytime soon.
The walk proceeded in silence, but Twilight noticed that passing ponies and street vendors would smile and tilt their head in acknowledgement as she passed them by. With hesitant hooves, Twilight shyly waved back. They seemed to brighten at the gesture and inexplicably Twilight felt a soft warmth slowly envelop her chest.
Strange…
Other than a short run in with a foal that collided into her without looking, the journey was uneventful and Twilight soon found herself within the main halls leading up to the throne room after passing unchallenged through the castle gates. She supposed that she was a regular now more than ever, and it wouldn’t be likely she would ever be challenged within the limits of Canterlot. Her thoughts spiralled briefly to Canterlot as her home. It had been a long time since she had walked to Canterlot as if she lived here. It was a strange feeling, a sort of detached nostalgia making her a little melancholy at the thought that it was not her home. She wouldn’t likely step through Canterlot as her home now or ever again. Ponyville was her home now.
She took a deep breath, held it for a number of seconds, and steadily exhaled.
“Okay Twilight, you can do this,” she mumbled to herself. “Just act confident, it’s only raising the sun and the moon, nothing more, nothing less.”
With straightened back, flared legs and a confident pose, Twilight stalked through the door as she was announced in.
“Presenting, Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle!”
Twilight entered the throne room, taking in the familiar raised dais, but the not-so-familiar image of Luna sitting astride on it. Stopping the appropriate distance away from the throne, Twilight caught herself just before she executed a bow and instead inclined her head gracefully. Evidently from the slight smile that graced Luna’s lips, her error had not gone unnoticed.
“Princess Twilight,” Luna spoke with a warm tone. “Welcome back to Canterlot. I trust you’ve had a pleasant trip.”
Twilight grinned ruefully. Luna was just as perceptive as Celestia at times.
“No,” she replied honestly. “I was nervous all the way.”
The Lunar Diarch raised an eyebrow. “What, pray tell, is it that bothers thee?”
Twilight stayed silent for a few moments as she struggled to find the words to express her emotions. The idea tumbled around in her head, but was just out of reach, lurking in the corners of her mind.
“I feel…”
“Overwhelmed?”
“Uhm…” Twilight nodded her head slowly. “Yes.”
“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I believe my sister felt a little overwhelmed lately.”
“Really? What could overwhelm Princess Celestia? She could handle almost everything.”
Luna cocked her head and stabbed a hoof in Twilight’s direction to emphasise the point. “That’s exactly the cause of it!” she exclaimed. “Her subjects perceive her as some infallible, unimpeachable bastion of royal power. Rarely does she get the chance to express otherwise.” A sigh. “This is why I have asked for your help, Princess Twilight. I’ve never really been the best family to my sister and I fear that she has never had a true friend. I hope she finds one on her short recess from ruling.”
“B-But we’re friends with the Princess, aren’t we?” Twilight stammered.
Luna regarded Twilight with something unfathomable reflected in her eyes.
“You can’t be friends with somepony you put on pedestal,” she said quietly. “No matter how hard one tries….”