Welcome back, once again! We're all alone and safe.
That's subjective...
Well, let's move onto a game called "Hollywood Director". This is for all four of you. What's going to happen is Firebrand, Silvermane, and Black Gryphon are going to act out a short scene, and Tweak is going to interrupt near the end, and tell them to start the scene over with a new quirk or feature to the scene; how they can spice it up.
So I'm their boss?
Essentially, yes.
Ohoho!! *Rubs hooves together violently and smiles widely while staring at the other three*
Anyone surprised?
Nope.
Now when you stop their scene, just give them a new suggestion based on these cards--
*Takes cards and rips them in half without changing expression* Don't ruin the moment.
Ah-- E--... You just ripped the cards!! You can't rip the cards! The show needs the cards!!
Ah-ah. *Points up* The producer's letting me...
Gah! Fine. Just let our audience's suggestions go to waste.
Yeah, those cardboard cutouts are crying a river.
*Silence. One cutout falls flat to the left of Applejack and scares her*
*Sigh* We still have the scene. Speaking of which... Gryphon is a teen colt trying to find his way home in the city in the middle of the night when a thug, Silvermane, tussles with him. Firebrand then comes in as the good samaritan to fight him off. So whenever you're ready, take it away.
In the dead of night, a lonely young colt named Black Gryphon wanders the city streets, desperately trying to find his way back home. "Oh, it's so creepy. Luna help me."
Suddenly, he's jumped from behind by a thug and gets held by his throat. "Alright, you little skunk!" The thug warned. "Give me everything you got on you, or it's lights out!"
Choking, Gryphon pleads back. "But... I don't have anything valuable! I swear!"
"Let him go!" A mysterious heroic voice shouts from off to the side. Firebrand hops forward and demands the kid's freedom. "You'll be sorry if you harm someone so young and frail!"
"I'm 18."
"Shut up, I'm trying to save you!" Firebrand takes a combat stance.
"Oh?" The thug, Silvermane turns with Gryphon still in his grasp to face Firebrand. "You really think that's a good idea?" He pulls out a switch-blade and holds it to Gryphon's throat.
"Umm..." Firebrand had to think quickly. He points to the sky behind Silvermane. "Look, a distraction!"
"Huh?" Silvermane loosens his grip and looks back to where Firebrand pointed.
Firebrand leaps forward to relinquish the blade into his possession and push Gryphon away to a safe distance. He then holds the blade inches away from Silvermane. "Hah! Now you're in for it."
"No! Please!" Silvermane gets down to his knees and begs. "I have a wife and 9 kids!"
---
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
Oh, that was horrible! That was crap!! That was so... so... bungtralescent... that I needed to make up a new word on the spot to describe how much crap it truly was!
You know what? This movie is almost a lost cause anyway. Let's just pander to the lowest common denominator: Do it like an amateur lesbian porn.
Done! *Flings front hooves in the air and walks away*
Hey hey! Don't forget who's paying for your sister to go to college!
*Groans angrily and returns*
*Smiles like a sweet old mare* Splendid... Action!!
---
Late at night, Black Gryphon wanders the city streets to find his way home. He meekly peers over his shoulder as if he was expecting something to surprise him. "Oh my..." He almost moans out. "I hope I can get home safely..."
Silvermane slithers up from behind him and runs up the side of his body, sniffing the whole way. He clasps his front legs around Gryphon's shoulders and takes a big waft of his mane. "I can help you home." He hisses out. "At a price..." He tightens his grip around his neck.
Gryphon lets out an exasperated gasp. "Oh, please don't hurt me." He reaches up to the thug's hoof and massages it.
"Hold it!" Firebrand jumps in to assist on his hind legs while balancing a couple of "weights" in front of his torso. "I can't let you hurt that poor, defenseless little pony." He forcefully points one of his front hoofs toward Silvermane. "Jiggle-jiggle."
"Don't worry." Gryphon breathes out. "I'm 18." He nestles his head up against Silvermane's.
"You'll have to catch me first!" Silvermane shouts back. He tries to make his escape but he almost immediately trips on a strange object and falls to the floor. He rolls over to his back to tie the incriminating bodily extremity in a knot around his leg and gets up to resume his escape.
---
Cut. Cut... Please, cut! *Approaches with face buried in hoof* You were supposed to be a mare.
Oh, crap.
I was talking to Skippy. *Gestures to Gryphon*
*Gasps* I'll have you know I'm a member of the L.G.B.T.S.H.O.V.E.I.T.L.L.C.! And they are going to hear about this! *Crosses front legs and turns head in a sassy manner*
Yeah, whatever. And you! *Cups and juggles chest weights* What was all this about?!
You said it was porn!
At what point did I say it was anthro?!
Hey, from my experience, those terms are interchangeable 90% of the time.
Forget it. What was I thinking anyway? Your acting is too good for porn. Let's pander to a different audience! We'll try appealing to the kids!
[Black Gryphon] You are a host of an audience-participation foal's show. [Silvermane] You're a surfer dude. [Firebrand] And you... you... *ponders and shoots eyes open* are a power ranger!
Action!
---
Late at night, Black Gryphon is merrily trotting down the city streets on his way home. He stops at an intersection. "Well, shoot." He turns his attention to no one in particular. "I can't seem to find my way home. One of these streets will lead me the right way. Do you remember which one?"
Silvermane approaches him from behind with half-lidded eyes. "Dude, like... Who are you talking to?"
"Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm like, a thug. I'm here to rob you." The gears struggle to turn in Silvermane's head. "Oh, right!" He fumbles with his pockets and pulls out a switch-blade. "Gimme all your money, bro."
Gryphon gasps and hops back away. He turns his head and speaks to his invisible friends. "It seems I'm in some big trouble." He pulls out his cellphone and shows the keypad. "It's always important to remember what numbers you need to dial if you are in an emergency situation." He tilts and nods his head.
"T'YAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Firebrand makes a triumphant, slow-motion leap onto the scene; clad in a tight, full-body outfit and a helmet that obstructed his face. "Stop right there!" He begins flailing his front legs around into random poses as he tries to ward off the attacker. "I'm here to protect the lives of the innocent and bring ne'er-do-wells like you to justice! And wake up the entire neighbourhood as I do it!"
"Wow, like, totally bogus, man." Silvermane expressed with a complete lack of interest.
"Your reign of terror ends here! Kyaaahh!!" A small explosion goes off behind Firebrand, startling him.
"Woah!" Silvermane was mesmerized by the display. "Like, how'd you do that, dude?"
"I like your costume, by the way." Gryphon comments before turning away. "Do you know what colour he's wearing?"
---
Cut! Cut cut cut!
I've changed my mind. The last thing I need on my mind is you in spandex.
You said something completely different last month...
Ignoring... Though nice touch with the Tommy Oliver impression.
I sounded nothing like him.
I meant the cool Tommy Oliver.
Now, I had time to think. And you know what? It made me realize... *Brings hoof up to mouth and blows hard, sputtering fart noise; tries again, another sputter*
*Walks over to Drew's desk, puts his thumb and index finger in the corners of his mouth and whistles sharply*
*Cutie Mark Crusaders show up on stage giving a salute*
...Actual children can act better.
You can't be serious.
Well, can't you take the hint? You're fired!
But my sister's coll--
*Walks up to within inches of Firebrand's face* FI-RE-D...
*Firebrand, Gryphon, and Silvermane all walk away*
Alright, girls--
CUTIE MARK CRUSA--!
Hush!! Places! And action!
---
In the middle of the night, a visibly frightened Sweetie Belle cautiously trots down the middle of an empty road. She never once stopped dashing her head around to keep an eye out for anything that could hurt her. She soon sees Scootaloo in an alley.
Scootaloo whispers to her loudly, "no no, I'm the hero."
Applebloom abruptly walks over and starts arguing. "What?! Why do Ah have to be the thug?"
"Come on, we all know I'm the bravest."
"Why do you need to be the center of attention all the time?!"
"Uh, girls?" Sweetie tries to get their attention to no avail.
"What makes you think Ah have to be the thug?!"
"It's just process of elimination!"
"Wait." Sweetie gets up to Scootaloo and joins in. "What is that supposed to mean?!"
---
Cut. Cut... *Walks over and picks the three up and drops them off the front of the stage* Do that somewhere else.
*Whispers to himself* "Never work with children"... I was wrong, I knew I was wrong, but I did it anyway!
*Stands center-stage and stares into the camera* Well... *Looks side to side* If you want something done right...
*Sigh* Action...
---
Tweak quickly strolls down the city streets at night all too eagerly. He hums to himself and inadvertently adds a spring into his step.
He suddenly pulls himself backward and starts shouting at the empty space he left in front of him. "Give me all your money!"
He jumps back forward and looks back to his previous spot. "Ah! Who are you?!" He then stands on his hind legs and wraps his front hooves around his throat.
After choking himself for a second or two, he shifts his head back. "You wanna do this the hard way?!"
He promptly moves his neck back to right behind his hooves and resumes his choking noises. "Okay! Okay! I'll do anything you want!"
He sashays to the right with his front hooves at his sides and proclaims in a noticeably deeper tone of voice, "hey, you can't do that!"
His hooves return to his neck as he slides back over to his last stance. "Oh, yeah! Who's gonna stop me?!"
"I will!" "You and what army!" "I am the army!"
He lunges forward and rolls around on his side. He grabs the back of his own head and slams it into the floor. He then swings his other hoof around and mimics the sound of a punch. He returns to his feet and "fights back".
He does this, he does that; he goes here, he goes there. He he he he...
Fists are flying sporadically in every which direction in empty air before he begins to land those same blows on various areas of his own body. Grunting from each impact, Tweak eggs on "his opponent". "Aw, come on, is that the best you got?!"
One of his hooves gets flung forward before violently flying right back into his face, knocking him down to the ground. "Oh, you hit like my niece!"
He then begins spinning around on the floor like a stooge. The knife is taken out as he sits upright on his haunches with a gap between his groin and the floor. He brings the blade down in a swift motion and lets out a sigh. "He's dead, Jim."
*Bzt! Bzzzzzzttttt!!!*
*Drew was laughing almost as hard as Firebrand as he struggled to hit the buzzer* Oho! What showmanship! Oh... 2000 points for that performance...
*Audience cheers*
I would pay to see Firebrand be a power ranger again.
Hey! ... yeah, so would I.
I'd like to hear what your dentist has to say to you.
I'd rather hear it from you. *Smiles deviously with bleeding gums on display*
Okay. Zyuranger is better.
Oh, dems figh'in' words!!
Well we'll be back in just a moment to find out who the winner is! Don't go away!