Taking this as their cue, the salespony brothers now stood up and took their turn, speaking in tandem…
Flim: “Our time is short, so we’ll be brief…”
Flam: “You’ve heard them talk, now hear us speak…”
Flim: “We’re good salesponies, that a fact…”
Both: “But some things we just keep under our hats!”
Flim: “Sometimes the truth we slightly bend…”
Flam: “But that doesn’t mean we’re bad, my friends…”
Flim: “A little white lie---”
Flam: “---can make a sale!”
Flim: “But at honesty---”
Both: “---we sometimes fail.”
Some groaned and rolled their eyes in disgust; other listened with interest, as the Brothers exchanged positions…
Flim: “Oh, what a tangled web we weave…”
Flam: “Each time we practice to deceive…”
Flim: “Believe me, friends! Yes! this is true…”
Both: “It HURTS US MORE than it does YOU!”
Flim: “So if we have---”
Flam: “---we’re sorry, friends…”
Flim: “It’s not a perfect world---”
Flam: “---that we live in…”
Flim: “Let us try again---”
Flam: “---because, you see---”
Both: "---life has NO money-back guarantee!"
Babs giggled at this. So did Gilda. But no one else did…
Flim: “Once grievance, though, we must report…”
Flam: “What right do others have to make sport…”
Flim: “Of our mistakes from the distant past…”
Both: “And REVOKE our SALES LICENSE super-fast?”
Flim: “Now we’re out of business!”
Flam: “What will we do?”
Flim: “We have as much right---”
Flam: “---as the rest of you---”
Flim: “---to make an honest living…”
Flam: “Stop calling us jerks!”
Flim: “Give us a chance---”
Both: “---TO GET BACK TO WORK!”
Cheers, whistles and applause erupted all around! A hard sell, yes, but another successful one for…
Flim: “Flim…”
Flam: “And Flam…”
Both: “The world-famous Flim-Flam Brothers!
Traveling salesponies, non-parleil!”
“(*Groan*) I think I broke a claw-nail trying to keep up with all that.” the little dragon complained.
“You’re doing great, Spike. Keep it up.” Twilight encouraged.
At last, the Brothers tipped their straw hats, bowed, and returned to their seats.
In the next seat over, the hooded figure of Lord Tirek kept clapping his clawed & shackled hands, in a rather slow, sardonic manner.
Being a minotaur, the quadruped lower half of his body could not take a seat, so he pulled the chair aside and sat crouched on the floor, his upper humanoid half resting on his forehaunches, in a nearly chair-seated position. No longer the big, burly white-haired red & black steer-horned behemoth he was when he last fought Twilight, Tirek was now again the weak and withered, cloaked figure he was before, and croaked with a voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Good show, Brothers…” he croaked passively, “Very good show… you really should look me up the next time you two are in Tartarus. I guarantee you’ll have a captive audience…” He managed a wry grin beneath the hood, as Discord chuckled upon hearing the age-old pun.
“Well… we haven’t heard from you all evening, Lord Tirek. I believe it’s your turn now.” prompted Twilight.
“Oh, well, listen to her…” he softly retorted, “…bests me in combat, strips me of my power to feed on Equestrian magic, cages me and sends me back to Tartarus just like that---and yet she’s still so prim, proper and polite! Heh-heh-heh…”
Incensed, Twilight leapt to all four hooves, flared her nostrils, spread her wings, and firmly pointed a warning forehoof !
“DON'T YOU DARE insult me or try to make me change my mind about you, Tirek!” she spoke quickly. “You're here only on the strictest probation! Behave yourself and speak your mind plainly, or it’s back to Tartarus for you, PERMANENTLY!” She emphasized that last word with a hard stomp of her outstretched hoof on the floor! An icy pause passed between them...
Luna blinked and stared in silent amazement at Twilight. Even she had to admire her reformer's bravery.
“Fine…fine…whatever…” Tirek conceded, “…as if I could do anything now… Frankly, I don’t even know why you had me brought here in the first place, your Highness. I certainly haven’t promised to turn over a new leaf. You really think you can reform ME as you did Princess Luna? Or as Fluttershy reformed Discord? What if I don't turn so easily…what if I just ruin your plans for me by not reforming at all? What makes you think I'm going to be whining for a job or for ‘equal opportunities’ like the rest of you losers, after I get out?”
All eyes glared back at him, but no one spoke. Good… he had their full attention.
“Reform…” Tirek went on teasing, “What do any of you know about reform? Do you want to know what the real problem is with your employer friends? They don’t believe in criminal reform. ‘Once a crook, always a crook,’ ‘No such thing as a reformed ex-evil,’ ‘A bad tree can’t possibly bear good fruit,’ so the old sayings go. They simply cannot tell the difference between a reformed ex-villain and an active villain-at-large, so they treat you all the SAME! The only reason they ask you about your past in interviews or on applications, is to WEED YOU OUT; not to forgive and forget! You think Tartarus has a work-release program or trustee system, or a parole or clemency board? Certainly not. It’s a lifetime sentence of EXILE, even after prison! You’re all outcasts, each and every one of you… hmmmm…”
“…Unless of course…” Tirek went on, “…your crime is merely a misdemeanor. Ho-ho, yes, there's the one exception… that they can overlook. That they’re prepared to forgive. Mizzy’s get all the breaks…. but felons? Hmph, not a chance! Felons are branded for life! Yes, I mean ‘brand’…that’s an ugly mark; not a cutie mark…and once it’s there, you’re stuck with it for life! You can NEVER pass a background check with a felony charge on your record! That's the one thing they can't forgive! The one truth they can't handle! There are NO job placement agencies, or referral agencies, or job fairs anywhere in Equestria, Tartarus, or any other kingdom on this earth for that matter, open to felony ex-evils! Hmmm… you’ve been looking everywhere, haven’t you? Oh, yes… I can tell by the lost looks on your faces… We’re all in the same boat. We are outcasts…social pariahs...searching, begging, pleading, groveling on all fours for acceptance, forgiveness, for equality…but not finding them…anywhere. They only want to hire 'perfect people,’ you see? With no prior evil record at all. But alas, we are none of us perfect, you see? No, not one… for we all have sinned, and fall short of the righteous glory of Celestia. Heh-heh-heh…”
Tirek’s head bobbed as he chuckled, making his nose ring rattle. He was trying to pretend to enjoy this little negative psychology game he was playing with them. Whether or not he was really enjoying it, was not so plain to see.
The others were silent. Stark silent. They simply couldn’t argue with him; Tirek was absolutely right in everything he said. Or at least, there was enough truth in his negative exaggerations for him to be believed as right. Twilight knew there were no prior provisions in Equestrian law (or world law) in any library in all the land, to remedy this problem. Suddenly the future was looking very dark indeed for the entire group. Rainbow Dash sank very low in her seat, her rosy eyes drooping, her stomach churning, and her head getting very heavy, and weary.
“What about family? What about you, Tirek? You do have family waiting for you after you get out, right?” Twilight asked.
“Hmmph, as if I have any kind of home life to go back to, once my time is served…” he continued, now melancholy: “… My father King Vorak certainly won’t want to take me back, not after I overpowered him… Mother Queen Haydon and my brother Scorpan might, but...oh, what does any of it matter now? Yes, I knew what I was doing. I got what I wanted: all the magic in Equestria. (Except, of course, the magic of Friendship. I saw no value in that, until too late.) Yes, I grew big, strong, mighty and powerful, I became an indomitable force, as planned…but to what end… to what point and purpose? I finally achieved what I’d set out to do…I became the mightiest being on earth…but I hadn’t worked out what I was going to do with it. Bend others to my will, and make them my slaves, forevermore? ‘Any fool with power can do that,’ my father once told me. But I didn’t listen… I let all that power go to my head. I got greedy, and wanted more and more of it. With that power, all I really wanted to do was prove to my father that I could be as mighty and powerful a king as he was, and have my own kingdom.” Here Tirek paused again, reflecting, then continued. “…But… but what did I really know about power? I had it… but I couldn't wield it…not responsibly…not as a king would… only as a tyrant would… as a bully would…as a… a monster would.”
Here Tirek hung his weary head, and put a clawed hand to his forehead. His dark eyes blinked sadly. Sunset Shimmer looked over, and felt a tear run down her cheek. Spike paused, too, reflecting on the ‘greedy’ part, and remembered something from his own past…and blushed at the memory of it.
“All I learned that day about power…” he continued, “was this…(*ahem*)...absolute power, corrupts absolutely. Power alone is not enough to rule a kingdom… I realize that now… power needs wisdom, courage, compassion, comrades…and above all…a conscience, to be wielded properly, responsibly, in service to a kingdom’s subjects. They, not the king, not power, they...are the kingdom. Oh, Scorpan, dear little brother…mother, father...why didn’t I listen to you all?” Tirek raised his cloaked head & shackled red clawed hands up to the Heavens, in penitent supplication.
Polite applause, mingled with sniffs and sobs, rose around the room. Even Twilight couldn't help wiping away a tear.
The exiled ex-prince of minotaurs relaxed, and sank back into humble quiescence, his chains clinking to the floor.
(*Sniff, cough, ahem*) Um, yes, thank you, Lord Tirek. And may I say---for the record, Spike---that I personally want to believe, with all my heart, that no one, however terrible… no one... is bad beyond redemption. Not even you, sir. I suppose I should still be mad at you for destroying the Golden Oak Library, my only home in Ponyville at the time. But, in a way, I have you to thank for it. For if it wasn't for you, sir, the Castle of Friendship, and the Kingdom of Friendship, might never have happened. Thank you for your story. Very well said.” More polite applause.
“(*Sniff*) You’re too kind, your Highness…” Tirek complemented.
CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER…