//------------------------------// // Mwah! MWAH! // Story: The Alpaca Prince // by Aegis Shield //------------------------------// The Alpaca Prince Part 1 -- Mwah! MWAH! Twilight murmured quickly through her flashcards, one hoof tappity-tapping the perfect floor in front of her. She’d asked Princess Celestia why an Alpaca Prince had to stay with her at Castle Friendship-- something about current generations of rulers meeting to establish long-lasting friendships. It hadn’t made Twilight feel any better. That and the books in her library hadn’t exactly helped either. Alpacas were fierce, fluffy warriors from the far northeast, steeped in tradition and forged in the frostbite of war! No country’s army had ever invaded Alpacastan and lived to tell the tale. Their slash-and-burn tactics bled armies out as they crossed the tundra-landscape. Falling back, burning resources as they went would starve their enemies away and… and it sounded so terrible! Twilight didn’t know what she was supposed to do with a young warrior prince from a land like that! And yet, the son of the Grand Alpacan Highlord, King Fluffington, was to stay with Twilight during trade disputes being held in Canterlot. She gulped again, slip-slip-slipping through her flashcards. The sudden BOOM-BOOM-BOOM of a heavy hoof on her front double doors made her smooth her dress. The first meeting of royalty from two countries was private. Twilight would’ve surrounded herself with friends (and guards, frankly), but the occasion called for solitude. “Come in!” she called. K-BASH! The doors flung themselves open as the massive fluffy fury that was Prince Cudfellow made himself known. “Greetings to you, Princess Twilight Sparkle!” the mass of fur with four legs and a face entered. The purple mare couldn’t help but stare. “I am to be bringing good tidings, and hullo’s of friendshipness!” his Equestrian was thick, but commendable. It was only proper to speak in the local language, after all. “G-greetings, Prince Cudfellow,” Twilight bowed a bit as she spoke. “Welcome to Equestria, I hope you had a good journ-EEP?!” The alpaca prince pulled nothing less than a TREE from his massive, fluffy exterior and dropped it on the floor at Twilight’s hooves. Fifteen feet long, it rained pine needles in all directions. “I bring you Alpacan tree gift of Friendship!” he boomed, looming over her. Reaching, he seized her by the ears and she screeched. “Mwah! MWAH!” he kissed both her cheeks and then released her. Blood pounding in her ears, Twilight reeled a little. Shaking the dizzy out of her skull, she smiled politely. “It is big! Furry! And strong! Like Alpaca!” he thump-thumped the tree twice with his back leg. “Th-thank you!” Twilight rubbed her reddened ears painfully. “Thank you very much!” Using her magic she stood it upright and against a wall. Using a holding spell she left it there like a Hearths Warming tree and swept the needles aside with a phantom breeze spell. Coughing twice, she offered him a thick book on a royal pillow. “Here, a book of Equestrian history, written in your native tongue.” “Oooh!” the Prince ejaculated, leaning over it with interest. “How thoughtfully!” he said. “I am to be knowing we are good friends, Twilight Sparkle Princess!” he said, taking it and vanishing it into his fur. “You are very attractive in the face spot, just as Father said.” He gestured to her grandly. They turned to walk and Twilight felt her cheeks pinken a little. Not every day a mare got complimented by a foreign prince. “May we eat? Long roads make hungry bellies!” he said hopefully. “Oh yes, yes of course. Dinner is already prepared” Twilight leaned around him to see if he had any followers or servants. “Erm, were you travelling alone?” she’d prepared for an entourage of twenty or so, but… didn’t see anyone. “Father and I take different roads when arriving to pony lands,” Cudfellow said, pausing here and there to select the proper equine words. His accent was thick and exotic, but Twilight was patient with him. “Weren’t you afraid of getting kidnapped or something? You’re in a foreign nation, after all!” Twilight said, aghast. Whoever heard of Royalty travelling unguarded. “Father has his servants, I am travelling to lonely road,” the Prince said, gesturing vaguely outside. “But no creature would attack Cudfellow, I am steel wool!” he puffed himself out a little as they walked and Twilight was suddenly reminded of a pufferfish. When he was almost round, he exhaled and returned to his usual (wooly and strange) shape. “Here we are!” Twilight gestured. A grand supper had been laid out, and a certain purple dragon was waiting in a tailed coat and top hat. “Ah, this is Spike, my personal assistant. Say hi, Spike!” Twilight said, glad this was going somewhat smoothly. “Hello, Prince Cudfellow!” Spike piped, twirling his fake mustache a bit. Welcome to Equestri-AHHH!?” the Prince SEIZED him by the ears, hauling him into the air. “Ow! Ow! OW! What’d I say?! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he bleated as the Prince mwah-mwah’d either side of his face and dropped him. “Hullo purple Spike assistant!” the Princess said jubilantly. “Greetings to you from the Alpacastan mountains of dread and hellfire!” he boomed. “Where the dragons breathe winter and the pony folk dare not tread!” he slapped Spike’s back, knocking him down. “Ewwww, Alpaca slobber!” Spike moaned, rubbing his face feverishly. Twilight hip-bumped him, her perfect-fake-smile cracking a little. “I mean uh, nice to meet you!” “L-let’s be seated then, I’m sure you’re hungry!” Twilight said quickly. Spike grabbed the end of the tablecloth, scrubbing his face and moaning. Prince Cudfellow seated himself, then looked startled and jumped up again. His cheeks were red. “Ehhh! Ladies first to do the seating,” he apologized. Twilight giggled behind her hoof for a moment, moving gracefully and sitting in her usual place at the dinner table. She eyed the spread carefully. Unsure about a foreign Prince’s tastes, she’d had Spike make a little bit of a lot of things. He steepled his hooves briefly, as though in prayer. Ohh, thought Twilight, how noble and stoic of h-- “GRACEFUL!” he boomed, then seated himself. Spike sat next to the Prince, between he and Twilight. Standing in his chair because he was too short to reach the middle of the table, he pawed for the bowl of spiced rice in the middle. His foot slipped and he fell sideways, straight into the Prince’s fur. “Ah! AH! AHHH! AAIIEEEE!” Spike’s entire body vanished into Cudfellow’s fur. “Twiliii-i-i-i-i….” his voice faded with distance and the purple mare jumped to her hooves. It sounded like falling down a well! “Oh let me, let me…” the Prince set his corn-on-the-cob down, reaching into his own body mass. Rooting around a little, he pulled Spike out and set him down. The baby dragon was holding a bronze short-sword and wearing welding glasses. “Oop, I was to be wondering where those went!” he took the glasses and shoved them into a different pocket of his fur. Twilight frowned, taking the sword from Spike. “Armed, Prince Cudfellow?” she asked suspiciously. “At the dinner table? At a foreign dinner table, no less?” Cudfellow looked embarrassed, standing and coughing, looking to one side. “Erm, forgive me Princess. Tales of Mighty Twilight Godslayer Sparkle resonate through Alpacastan. It is for my protection!” “From what?” Twilight put it to one side, in an empty chair. It gleamed menacingly. “From you, of course,” he swallowed like she might pounce on him at any moment, sweat beading on his forehead. His fluffy head tilted like this was no new news to her. “Twilight Sparkle stops the pony in the moon, trumps chaos gods, helps choke out the swarm and ascended to godhood! Did you not? Suppose you grew displeased with myself? I would be helpless in the facing of your fury!” “I… er-well…” Twilight had never heard it put like that. “Are you not Equestria’s mightiest warrior-Princess?” the Prince said, leaning at her with a sort of morbid curiosity on his face. “I-uhm,” Twilight slowly sat down again, not really sure how to take that. It hadn’t really occurred to her that international attention might blow her victories out of proportion like that. Godslayer? Warrior Princess? “W-well, I prefer books to battle,” she tried to change the subject. “Pen is mightier than the sword, pony-sayers said,” Cudfellow seemed a little more at ease, but kept glancing at his bronze shortsword. Twilight gingerly returned it to him. Their eyes met for a moment, and he knew it was not to be seen again. “Thank you. I do not think I could hurt your beautiful face, Princess Twilight, but it does not make my manhood feel so shriveled before you when I carry sharp thing to defend myself,” he articulated carefully. Leaning just so, he shoved the weapon into his fur and fluffed it accordingly. “Erm… juice?” he offered awkwardly, picking up a jug. “Yes, please,” Twilight said wearily. Spike was still getting hairs out of his mouth and ears. She flicked him with a grooming spell and he sighed in relief. The Prince was afraid of her, it seemed. Well, hopefully she could change that during his stay. She decided right then she would have to make sure they were good friends before the negotiations in Canterlot were over. Her reputation as the Princess of Friendship was at stake! End of Part 1