Granny Smith’s Advice
By Apple Bloom
“Apple Bloom, don’t chew with your mouth open,”
Granny Smith would often say,
“Because if you are ever invited to a fancy restaurant,
By a handsome young stallion,
That just happens to be your soul mate,
And he observes your greens and oats,
Rolling around your mouth like an earthquake,
He’ll be so appalled,
That he will trot out in the middle of dinner,
And leave you all alone.”
“You will be so sad,
That you will wander into the forest,
Behind the farm,
And lean against an old oak tree,
Where you will weep for so long,
That you will turn into a willow.”
“There, you will forever pine,
For the young stallion you love,
But alas, will never be able to have him,
For when he is wandering,
Through the woods to find you,
And he hears a willow tree,
Giving him love sonnets,
He will just laugh and say;
‘It would be silly to love a tree,’
And will wander off,
Eternally searching for you,
Never realizing that the love sonnets,
Were not spoken from a willow tree,
But from your spirit trapped inside.”
“And while you sit outside the farm,
And grow and grow,
I will be sitting inside,
Waiting and waiting,
For you to bring me grandchildren,
Until I’ve been waiting so long,
That I will grow a beard,
Longer than father time’s,
And I will have to join the circus,
As the bearded mare,
And your brother,
Will have to become the ring master,
And we will be too busy,
Traveling the country side,
To figure out how to turn you back,
Into a young mare.”
“So Apple Bloom,
Don’t chew with your mouth open,
Because if you do,
You’ll be responsible,
For destroying our family tree,
Making Big Macintosh and I join the circus,
And breaking the heart of your one true love,
And you wouldn't want that to happen,
Would you?”