Head and stomach cramped up, tightened by the rope of pain, Dad left for work yet again, his beaten child left to fend for herself. Last night I had finally checked my phone from the twinkle after Jayson's phone call. It was Jayson, just as I had suspected.
"Don't talk to me then!" the text read, "Be the bitch that you are. No matter what Olivia I'm still here. Whenever you are ready to tell me what's going on, I'm right here. See you later girl."
Jayson I knew for sure was going to leave me, who needed him anyways... he was a boy with a pretty face, a good personality, and a good friend. The only one I had left here in the world. Damn, what is wrong with me? Another angel soul, gone...
This whole disappearing thing started with Drake, running off with his new latchy mare-friend Ally. She seemed familiar to me but I couldn't really make out where I had seen her before.
Now I lay here alone and empty in the sunlit rooms; some were filled with hate, some tolerable , and then only two that tried to protect me from everything. The one place I've been in since the moment I was born.
Mom despised hospitals, she would avoid them like the plague. I literally was born in my bedroom with my once loving family at my side.
When I was only a little girl, from birth till age ten, both my parents didn't work late, stay at bars for long hours, or hang out with friends without me around. Mom stayed at home and Dad would always be home by 2pm to meet me at the bus stop. We all used to be happy together... then I turned thirteen, that's when it all changed.
I turned on my, now, cracked phone and opened Facebook. Maybe Lily had posted something new for once, or maybe someone on my friends list had the courtesy to contact me. But all else failed, neither party did what I had hoped. As I scrolled through my news feed something caught my eye, a picture of Lily... just her face. I clicked on the link to the local news channel in her area.
"School shooting in San Diego, California. Three injured, one dead." it read across the top of the article. One paragraph really caught my eye... Lily.
"Lily Campos was one of the star students here in Terry Pines High. She was well loved by all the students, teachers, and staff, well not all of the students. Over a month ago, during a small fight in the high school's cafeteria, Campos tried to jump in and stop the fight from breaking out. The shooter, Mavis Snow, age 19, walked into the school with a weapon undetected and sought revenge on the innocent teen. Everyone at the school is devastated."
My heart froze...
"The school and the entire community came and helped Campo's mom, Kaleigh Campos, with the funeral costs ad hope for justice for this once of a kind teenager. The principle of the high school has planned to set up a memorial outside the school grounds for the beloved student."
Locking my phone, I dropped it on the ground which landed on the carpet floor of my room with a thud. "Revenge..." that was the only word that spun in my mind. Lily didn't exist in this world anymore.
My heart sank down my body, to the point where it felt like my heart was no more. My soul drained out of my body, the world seemed to close its walls onto me, squeezing every last drop of my happiness till I was left dry.
Lily died because of an act of kindness she had performed. She's done it before, for me, but no one wanted revenge like this on her exactly. Actually, no one that picked on me had ever seeked revenge on Lily. They would run away with their tails tucked between their legs and never bother me again. Lily was mostly like a guardian angel, like one day when she sent me a picture saying that friends are God's way of taking care of us.
There rarely was a time that Lily cursed, she always went to church, that's probably where she got her kindness spirit from. The only time I remember Lily cursing was when someone randomly came up to her and said some rude things about her. She defended herself, verbally no fight required.
Lily was an amazing pony, one that would see past my flaws and never leave my side. She didn't move by choice, she moved by force. Because of her move, now she's dead because of her parents. If she stayed here, she wouldn't be fucking dead she'd still be here by my side. I needed her now more than anything.
The walls of my once comfortable room, where everything of my hated life would disappear, the walls collapsed down to the ground to the ground. The one thing holding those stones together was now gone.
***
As the glowing sun disappeared below the mountains that lured miles away from home, the house grew dark. I didn't turn on the light, afraid that the fluorescent light would try to make the matters of my life worse. Whispers linger in my head telling me, "worthless, disliked, waste of time, or a person with no purpose to others."
Soon my phone rang, the pixilation read out, "Dad." As much as I didn't want to answer my phone, if I didn't he would continue to call me until he got word to me, like he was going to die or something idiotic like that. He would say it's because I care, well bastard you obviously don't if you can't take time out of your work to be with your only daughter in your life.
"Hello." I finally answered, the background noise ringing through the phone and into my ear. I could hear phones ringing, people talking, and papers rustling that might be on his desk.
"Hey Olivia, look my office has now become complete and most of the stuff I can't leave. The house has become uncomfortable for me."
"I know the feeling."
"Listen Olivia, I hope you can take care of yourself. You're old enough, I won't be coming home."
The sound of his voice tuned out of my head right after he said, I won't be coming home. Home alone for the rest of my time here in Emerald Isle, North Carolina, abandoned in the home where happiness once resided deep in the cracks of the tile floor, even in the uncomfortable blood stains in the corner of my bedroom covered by the dresser where my clothes lay unaware of my pain.
My heart that had once would beat love throughout my entire body of which warmth once took over. Now the pain coursed through my battered body, the cold wrapping itself around me like a blanket. Even though I didn't shiver on the outside, not even a frost bitten pinkie toe, deep in the recess' of my body, everything was blue and chipping off. Even the tiny Goosebumps making my muscles look like chicken skin.
Lily was now dead both in the world and in my heart, she disappeared from my life in a split second, a bullet from a vengeful spirited mare who could've thought or gotten to know Lily before the trigger was pushed and the bullet left the gun. Jayson was too busy with Viviana but oddly latching onto me for guidance, something he hadn't done for months. Drake and Ally giving me uncomfortable stares ever since I snapped at them, which is completely odd. The both of my parents who at once couldn't get enough of me didn't want anything to do with me, let alone even lay one eye on me, not even a loving gaze.
Curling up into a ball in the living room of my once loving, happy home, tears speeding down my face, crashing into each other as they met past my quivering lips. The darkness and cold choked me inside its uncomforting ways. Seeping deep into the pale skin that tried to fight it off.
When the trying warm sun disappeared into the horizon as I climbed up onto the roof of the house, something Drake and I used to do to watch the moonrise together, well through FaceTime. When I turned around to face the other side of the house, looking at the front yards of my neighbors across the street. The moon gleamed across the enlightened streets of Emerald Isle.
Usually I would smile at the sight of the moon appearing into the sky, but the muscles that normally would cause you to smile seemed unknown to my thought process. I just stared at the moon as it slowly moved up the sky, climbing the ladder of the few stars in the sky. climbing down off the roof, with the thought of jumping down, breaking my leg, then bleeding to death laying in the grass where I used to walk on playfully or happily. Each blade of grass would stab away the pain of my recent life, the blood would release all the words that were or close to the word pain.
Laying down on the couch of my home, the cushions didn't provide comfort like my bed did. I know I could just get up and move there, but the muscles in my legs suddenly couldn't work, I couldn't move to stand. Like my whole body was being overtaken by the cold, making itself known to this broken body.
What more was left for me? my mind kept asking itself, I have no dreams, they don't exist anymore. What have I done to deserve this abuse? Was it something I said? Done? Or is it just me in general? It there a place I could go where this damed bitter hatred didn't reside deep in my mind? Where do I belong?