My cell was six feet by six feet and contained a wet mattress a few centimeters thick at most. I sat against a smooth crystal wall with my knees held close to my chest. I was the sole detainee in the Crystal Empire’s only prison cell, and I began to wonder if Sombra demanded there be at least one prison cell with which to hold people, forcing Twilight to think on the fly. Glancing at the shoddy craftsmanship around the edges and the bars, I thought my metal box must’ve been put together in a hurry.
After being bubbled and taken away, I was lowered down a dark staircase to the tower’s basement. Bits of hay and other building materials littered the floor. Twilight Sparkle didn’t leave the area outside my cell, even as all of her friends trotted back upstairs.
She’d had trouble looking at me before. Now she wouldn’t take her eyes off of me, hardly taking a moment to blink.
“It ends tonight, Steve,” she started flatly.
“Yep,” I answered, not in the greatest of moods at the time.
“If you hadn’t interfered again, you would’ve been home by now.”
“Minus a pony.”
“You gave him to us.”
I flicked a finger against the bars. “After you lied to me about what you had planned for him.”
Twilight sat down next to my cell, her head resting on a rusted bar. She ignored my last statement. “You consider him your friend, don’t you? Even after everything’s that happened, you think he’s your friend.”
I nodded. “He’s been coerced, same as me when I handed him over to you on Earth. You made me believe I was doing what was best. Sombra likes to be in charge. He likes power. You promised him that and he ate it up.” I roughly flicked the bar again. “He’s also an idiot.”
Twilight smiled, the lines under her eyes more evident than usual from the basement’s harsh overhead lights. “A friend that calls his friend an idiot. You two truly must’ve been close.”
I chuckled. “Even you should know only best friends call each other idiots.”
Her smile waned. “But Sombra—oh, wait, I forgot, it’s King Sombra now. King Sombra isn’t just a human’s lone pony pal, Steve. No. He’s a tyrant. He’s a murderer. And if I can save this world with his sacrifice, then I won’t hesitate to do so.” She grimaced. “His type don’t deserve to live while good ponies are forced to die. My brother. My sister in law. My mentor.” She exhaled slowly. “And now Luna, too, if what Discord tells me is true.”
I sat up and propped my chin on a hand. “The train came in?”
“Yes.”
“So that means everything’s coming into place.”
“Yes, it does.”
I waited a moment, picturing what the last few moments of this world might look like. The sight of doomsday might not appear so grand locked up in a cell deep in the basement.
The thought of it all made me mad. “You might all think Sombra’s nothing more than some villainous cartoon character, but what you fail to realize is that if you never bothered him, he wouldn’t have been a problem to anyone. He liked the simple life. He liked not being in control. He liked being someone’s friend. You told me he was going to be rehabilitated in Equestria—befriended for all to enjoy. Well, maybe he already was to begin with.”
She shook her head. “That doesn’t matter anymore, Steve. None of it does.”
She took a minute to lazily stretch out each leg.
I got to my feet and wrapped my hands around the bars. I’d come to the conclusion a long time ago that Sombra’s life meant next to nothing to these colorful world-enders.
“Have you ever thought of Earth?” I asked.
Twilight stopped her movements to look up at me. “Thought about it how?”
“As a new place to go? To live and be away from all this horror. You seven traveled there easy enough the first time—why not call that your new home?”
She surprised me with a laugh. “Really, Steve? A bunch of ponies living harmoniously with a bunch of humans?”
“It’s worked here, hasn’t it?”
She hesitated for a second. “You honestly believe your world would willingly accept the miraculous appearance of thousands of new sentient beings and somehow not consider that a threat?”
“Maybe a threat against their heart’s wellbeing. Seriously, I’d be hard pressed to find a single human that wouldn’t welcome a busload of adorable tiny ponies. You guys are basically like cats, except you can converse with people.”
She glared at me. “Saying things like that makes me think a lot less of you, Steve.”
I raised a brow. “You honestly think I care about how I look to you right now?”
Twilight strolled along the edges of my cage. “While it’s not the worst idea, there are still big problems involved. Like getting each pony in this Equestria to your world in time before something catastrophic and irreparable happens here. Luna and I were able to get the seven of us there with a small amount of energy, but both of us were alicorns. The magic needed to get everyone trapped here to your universe would be tremendous.”
She stopped to look at me. “Plus, who would decide who goes first and who takes their chances patiently waiting for their turn? Do pegasi and Earth ponies get to go first because all the unicorns would be busy sending them over? Who would make that decision? There just wouldn’t be enough time, Steve. Not for every single pony here.”
“You could still save as many as possible.”
“But if I did that, I still wouldn’t have my brother back. Or any of them.”
I slammed my hand against the bars. “But you’re not getting them back, Twilight! You merge with yourself, you forget this place. This version of you ceases to exist. You die, and that’s all there is to it.”
“No, Steve,” she replied softly. “I get to be the Twilight I was supposed to be, and I know my friends would feel the same, as would Luna. Even if I don’t remember a single moment of this place, I’ll have the satisfaction of escaping here, and being back with those I’ve lost.”
I gripped the bars hard enough to hurt, then I walked in small circles around my cell to calm myself. “Obviously, you’ve seen the original Equestria. Otherwise you’d have no idea of what’s going on there.”
Twilight reluctantly nodded. “We were able to view it briefly, though the spell to do so was complicated and always changing.” She paused. “Watching another version of yourself… a brighter one… happy and content. It’s hard, Steve. You want to be that pony so bad it hurts, and soon it’s all you can think about.”
“Then why not go there? Escape to the real Equestria? It must be easier to get there than Earth.”
“It’s not, in fact. The barrier that holds the original Equestria out of reach from everything outside of it is strong and intact. Earth’s had been damaged by Sombra’s arrival, although just a bit.” She said more to herself, “It all comes down to time… so little of it… twenty-four hours in a day, but who says you’ll make it to the end of that day?”
Twilight’s lost it completely, I thought, as I watched her mumble to herself. This version of her, at least. She’d been hurt and she’d been pained and then hurt again, and now all she wants is an ending she can agree with. All she wants is for it to be over with. In a way, I could understand. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try to save Sombra if I could, as well as every poor soul trapped in this nightmare-like place.
She looked up to me abruptly. “I need to go. I may have said it before, but this time, I’m sure: You will not be seeing me again. Or any of us. I’ll give you a few minutes with Sombra to say what you will, and then we’ll finish this.” She gritted her teeth. “You didn’t need to come here, Steve. The awful memories you take back to Earth are your own doing and no one else’s.”
She went to the first step of the stairs and stopped.
“If you really considered Sombra your friend, don’t try and break the illusion we’ve created for him. He likes being King. It makes him happy. He won’t know what’s happening until it’s too late, Steve. So let him die happy.”
***
Sombra came to me next. Or King Sombra did, as he floated into my cell in a blanket of black smoke. He glared at me with his red and green eyes, tendrils of purple smoke filtering out around the edges. When I waved away as much of the smoke as I could, he dropped back to the ground as himself.
“How was that?” he asked, before barking out a cough.
I waved the last bits of Sombra from the air. “Unnecessary.”
“But menacing?”
“Sure. Why not.” I sat on my thin bed and patted the spot beside me.
Sombra hesitated for a moment, but eventually sat next to me.
I scratched at my unshaven face. “Is there any point in trying to convince you that this is all a lie, or has that ship sailed already?”
Sombra could hardly sit still, his hooves tapping against the edges of the cot anxiously. His bushy tail kept whapping into my side. “I don’t know why you keep thinking like this, Steve. Why can’t you just be happy for me? I’ll be the ruler of an entire world! Everyone will do what I want them to.” He looked up to me. “It’ll be fun, Steve. We can hangout and get drunk whenever we like! No more work. No more troubles.” He brightened. “I’m sure Twilight could even create a new image machine for us. Or we could travel back to Earth and take one. An even bigger one!”
I tried to think of all the evidence I could use to prove Twilight was lying to him. All the empty promises and all the ways he was being tricked. If I had more time, I might’ve pointed it out how no mare came forward to fulfill all his eccentric bedroom desires, or when no new Equestria was brought before him to enslave. But the idea of being King again was still fresh on his mind. Bouncing around next to me, he acted more like a child on Christmas morning than a murderous tyrant.
Sometimes you just know when there’s nothing left you can do.
It was hard to look at him, knowing what was to come in a few minute’s time. I hooked an arm around his head and pulled him to my side. I spoke honestly. “You’re a good pony, Sombra. I don’t think anyone’s ever told you that, but I thought you should know. You’re not all that bad. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, you’re all right.”
His tail stopped thumping into me. “Um… thanks?”
I scratched his head, reminded of the last bit of advice Discord had given me, if anything could be called “advice” from such a creature. So for the next couple of minutes I asked Sombra what was running through his mind the last moment before he died. And although it took some time, he finally opened up and told me. And when his eyes became watery, I knew he hadn’t lied to me then, and I was grateful for that.
So I said to him what needed to be said, even if I knew it might all be for nothing. But hadn’t this whole journey been a huge amount of effort for what might amount to nothing at all?
The doors at the top of the stairs opened and Twilight called down to us.
Sombra wiped his eyes and climbed off my bed. “Well, this is it,” he said breathlessly. “Everyone will know who’s in charge after this.”
I nodded. “Just remember what I said, Sombra. You’ll know it when it happens.”
He stared at me bemused. “I still don’t understand, Steve.”
“Just remember. Just picture it in your mind.” I tried for a smile. It wasn’t a good one. “Now go show him who’s boss, all right?”
He giggled happily. “I will, Steve. And then for my first order as King, I’ll release you on good behavior. And then we’ll have a feast. Everyone loves feasts, Steve, because it means you get to eat a lot.”
He really hasn’t changed as much as I thought.
“One more for the road.”
I knelt down and hugged him again.
In return, he chuckled and patted my back. “You’re going soft on me, Steve. I’ll be right back.”
“All right.” I let him go and he floated out from my cell, coughing into a hoof once whole again.
Twilight yelled from up the stairs. “King Sombra, your guests are waiting!”
“Coming, Twilight!” he shouted back, before turning to me. “You’d think Twilight was in charge of all this or something.” He laughed, before trotting up the stairs.
I might not have been able to save Sombra from himself, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t try and save every innocent soul left trapped in this world. If what Sombra told me held any merit.
I stood near the bars and sighed. That might be the last time I see him, I thought.
Then something popped behind me.
“Care to watch the end of the world with me?”
I turned and found Discord sprawled out along the cot, a box of popcorn in one claw and a pair of 3D glasses over his eyes.
I rested my head on the bars. “There’s nothing more I can do, is there? I don’t save anyone, do I?”
He giggled. “Did you really think you would? You’re no hero. You’re Steve. What do Steves do? I’ll tell you what they do: they stumble around, knocking into stuff until the end credits.”
“Shouldn’t you be with Twilight right now?”
“I am.”
I didn’t say anything.
Discord sat up. “Or would you rather sit here and count the cracks in the walls? Come on. It’ll be fun. And I’ll bring the popcorn!”
I really had nothing better to do.
***
The calm night breeze ruffled my shirt. My feet dangled hundreds of feet in the air, my hands gripping the edges of my seat until my knuckles turned white. The seat in question being a white, puffy cloud that somehow supported my and Discord’s weight and wouldn’t move an inch across the sky. By this point, I shouldn’t have even commented on it. But old habits die hard.
I pointed at the cushy cloud. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
Discord shut his eyes and growled. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Either you enjoy my comfortable cloud sofa, Steve, or you go sit somewhere else, although I can’t guarantee you’ll survive the trip there.”
I shut my trap and looked around. Our cloud hovered a hundred feet or so above the crystal tower’s balcony and several hundred feet above the seated crowd on the ground. Hundreds of waiting ponies and a speckle of humans waited patiently in boxed seats with binoculars raised.
Glancing at the remains of the Crystal Empire from so high above, I was reminded of Sombra’s old stories about the place. I turned to Discord, currently munching his way through his fourth box of popcorn.
“Twilight wants to recreate what happened, right? But how can that be possible? The Crystal Heart was what killed Sombra. Wasn’t it destroyed along with the original Empire?”
Discord gagged on a kernel, spitting it out to tumble onto the crowd below. “It was. But in this timeline, Twilight and her friends still have their Elements of Harmony. They were never handed over to some tree or whatever the Tartarus happened. I really don’t remember. It was all pretty silly.”
“Elements of Armory?”
“Harmony,” he corrected. “All you need to know is that they’re flashy and basically fix whatever problem Twilight needs fixing. In this case: blowing Sombra sky high.” He shrugged. “Twilight has no Crystal Heart, so she’s improvising. Same with the spectators down below. No Crystal ponies left? Well, let’s ship in some random ponies and see what happens next.”
I shook my head. “This whole plan was doomed to fail from the beginning. Nothing about it sounds right and there’s little chance it’ll work in Twilight favor, or anyone’s.”
Discord laughed, banging his hand against the cloud’s armrest. “I know, right? Isn’t it great? That’s why this is all so much fun!” His laughter spun out into giggles. He ran a finger under his eyes to wipe away the tears. “By the way, you want a beer? Might as well make a toast to the end of a universe.”
He lifted a part of the cloud away, revealing a small cooler. He handed me a crystal stein filled with something cold and brown.
I sniffed the top. “What kind?”
“Equestrian.”
“Good enough.” I took a sip. It wasn’t bad. Alcohol was still alcohol, and if there ever was a reason to drink, the Apocalypse was a mighty good one.
From the cloud cooler, Discord pulled out a martini glass and a small vial he emptied into it. The liquid was every color I could imagine, endlessly swirling and mixing together.
With a foam mustache under my nose, I pointed at it. “What’s that?”
Discord took the tiniest of sips. “Oh, this? This is a special drink, but I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“Stronger than this beer?”
“Very much so. Not many have the stomach for it. Or would have a stomach at all, if consumed. I could let you have a sip, but then you’d go blind and miss the show. And believe me, going blind would be the least of your worries after drinking this.” He took another sip, his eyes filling with TV static for a moment. “But at least you wouldn’t be able to see what was happening to the rest of you.”
I took another pull from my beer. “I’ll stick with this.”
“Good.”
For a time we sat and drank, keeping an eye on a group of ponies shuffling around a number of props around the balcony. A large throne. A crystal rock. A long red carpet. Sitting and waiting for the end of the world, I’d never felt so useless in all my life.
I asked Discord, “Did I just pull a Raiders of the Lost Ark?”
He raised a brow. “Is that the one with all the lava or the really bad one?”
“No, the first one, with the Ark of the Covenant.” Upon realization, I choked on my beer. “How have you seen those movies? Or any movie at all, in fact?”
Discord ran a hand along his face, pulling the bottom of his eyelids half-way down his cheeks. “Stop questioning things, Steve. You’ll live longer. Now, finish your question.”
“Okay. In that movie, Indiana Jones follows the bad guys around the entire time, trying to foil their evil plot. In the end, he can’t, but the bad guys destroy themselves anyways, doing the thing they wanted to do the whole time. Meaning that Indiana Jones could’ve stayed home and watched TV and the outcome would’ve been the same. Is that what I just did here?”
Discord pulled on his beard and pursed his lips.
I continued, “I mean, if I never came here, Twilight would’ve still done all this, Sombra would’ve died again, and the outcome remains the same. What did I change by coming here?”
Discord accidentally pulled his beard off, then glued it back on. “Sometimes, Steve, the journey is more important than the outcome.”
“Meaning?”
“I dunno. Sometimes I just say things. Like purple monkey dishwasher.”
I sighed and consoled myself with my beer. It was annoying being the observer and not the participant when so much was at stake.
“Where’s Twilight now?” I eventually asked, annoyed by the silence.
“She’s with me, actually.” Discord pointed a claw to a lower part of the tower. “We’re saying our last goodbyes. Would you like to see?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
Discord snapped a pair of binoculars around my neck. I pulled them up and looked through, the outside of the tower melting away as I glanced around. A few stories below the top the balcony, Discord and Twilight stood close together in an empty room. Discord was knelt in front of her, a genuine smile on his face that contained no hint of malice. Twilight held a hoof to his face and even from that distance I could tell she’d been crying. Whether out of happiness or sadness, I will never know.
Discord said, “She’s thanking me for helping her, for keeping her friends safe, and for shielding Ponyville, also for being that small bit of warmth in her life. She’s telling me it’ll all be okay; that the old Twilight might remember what we’ve shared. I know she’s lying, but I don’t tell her this. At the moment all I think about are the color of her eyes, about her warm hoof on my face.”
Through my binoculars, Twilight pulled him in for a kiss. Discord closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around her. The embrace was short, but sweet.
“I think about the taste of her,” Discord said, with an odd amount of calmness.
I put the binoculars down. “You don’t need to tell me that.”
“Saying things like that will only get you the exact opposite effect.”
I see. “Then tell me everything.”
His toxic eyes shot open. “Okay, but only because you asked! You see that couch in the corner there? Well, just four-and-a-half minutes ago, Twilight and I—”
I pinched his lips shut, not all too surprised when they detached from his mouth and new ones formed on his face. I let the severed bits of flesh float away in the air.
He giggled lightly, staring at the spot on the tower where Twilight and him had been. “In that moment when we kissed, I snapped my fingers and brought time to a halt. Although Twilight didn’t know it, I spent a whole month in that embrace. Then I went back and I did it all again. And you know what I found, Steve, even after all that time together?”
“What?”
“That I still wanted more. That I’m not ready to let her go.”
Done with my beer, I found my head swimming. Perhaps the height had something to do with it, too. “You like damaged goods, don’t you? Too bad even all this is out of your control.”
He rubbed his hands together. “Is it?” He turned to me. “Did you happen to ask Sombra what he was thinking about before he died?”
And here I thought I was all done with heavy exposition.
“I did. And you were right. He didn’t want to talk about it.”
“But in the end, he did, didn’t he?”
“Yes.”
He drank from his martini glass. “And what, pray tell, did that little pony say?”
“He said he knew what was going to happen—that the world went white and seemed to slow down. He knew he was going to die and had time to think about it. Sombra hated being defeated so easily, after hardly having the chance to succeed. In those last few moments, he said he thought of Equestria, ripped apart and destroyed by monsters worse than him. He wanted fire and death and for those that hurt him to feel his pain. He said he wanted revenge.”
Discord nodded slowly, casually sipping from his glass. A trail of white smoke oozed from his nostrils.
“Then, after he was done picturing all the destruction he wanted done, he said he just didn’t want to be hated anymore—that he was sick of it. He knew what he was doing was right, so why couldn’t everyone else see that? He said he wanted to go somewhere where ponies wouldn’t think of him as only a villain. Somewhere where he wouldn’t be hated anymore.”
“You think he was thinking about making a friend?”
I paused. “Maybe. Or maybe he wasn’t sure what he was looking for at all.”
“So do you understand what happened, Steve?”
“A little.”
Discord pulled out the leg rest on the cloud, placing an arm behind his head. “Then what did you tell him? It’s clear he thinks he’s King again. Or King for the next two minutes or so.”
I looked down and saw Applejack and Rarity exit the throne room and stand near the edge of the balcony. Some of the crowd down below shouted to them, clapping their hooves together.
“When I knew I couldn’t convince him this was all a ploy, I went with something else. I told him something was going to happen soon and that I needed him to do something for me. I told him he wouldn’t understand right now, but that it was important. He’d know it when it happened.”
“I’m sure he will. I just hope this cloud’s far enough from the splash zone.”
I ignored the jerk. “I told him to think about our time spent together. Of the condo. Of Earth. I wanted him to picture himself surrounded by friends. I wanted him to think of good things this time. Not revenge.”
“You think he will?”
Twilight stood at the front of the balcony, a podium set up for her. The noises from the crowd increased. She started her speech, thanking them all for coming. Then she said she had important news to tell them.
I admitted to him, “I have no idea how this ends. I only wish I could’ve done more.”
Discord smiled thinly, looking through his own pair of binoculars.
“Oh, I think you’ve done plenty.”
***
“Thank you, Princess Twilight, for that warm introduction. I know many of you might be surprised to see your King back from the dead, but please do not be afraid. I have only come back to lead you to a better world—one that we will, together as one, conquer and control.”
As Sombra made his speech behind the podium, Twilight and the five other mares positioned themselves in a half-circle behind him, each of them fitted with a near-matching gold necklace. Only Twilight had a crown. Fluttershy spent that time staring at her hooves, while most of them looked anywhere besides Sombra’s back. Twilight was the only one—a beaten, worn expression on her face.
Sombra continued, “Imagine a world other than this, my slaves. Imagine one far grander than you could possibly imagine…”
Twilight touched the shoulder of the mare next to her, and she nodded in return. The six of them held onto each other and each of their eyes filled with a burning white light. As their manes whipped around wildly, they levitated off the ground. Only when the blinding light became too much to be ignored, did Sombra finally turn to them.
“I said no theatrics, Twilight!” he roared. “No lights! No displays! Only me!”
When none of them responded and the light only grew, Sombra’s wrath disappeared and he glanced around nervously.
“Stop whatever you are doing, Twilight! Your King demands—”
The band of rich colors passing between the six mares expanded outward and struck Sombra in the chest, lifting him up as he was surrounded by more and more burning light. His hooves paddled against the air aimlessly.
He spun his head from side to side. “Steve? Steve! I’m scared, Steve! Help me! What are they doing?”
I leaned over my side of the cloud and sucked in all the air I could. The sight of poor Sombra made we want to vomit up my beer. “I can’t watch this. This is disgusting.”
I could hear Discord snacking on another clawful of popcorn. “What are you talking about? You’re gonna miss the best part!”
“Steve?” Sombra cried. “Steve, where are you? Help me!”
I shut my eyes and gripped the edge of the cloud, wanting it over with.
A long moment of silence befell the large balcony, as the light between the mares pulsated out until I had to cover my eyes with an arm. Sombra got out one last menacing roar before everything came to a close. I didn’t even hear an earth-rattling boom to mark his latest defeat.
Discord childishly clapped his hands together. “Bravo, bravo, ladies. Encore, perchance?”
I looked back at the balcony and in Sombra’s place was a blackened circle. Twilight trotted into the center of it, as her five other friends whispered between themselves.
I roughly grabbed Discord’s arm. “So what does this mean? Nothing happened! You bunch of depressed weirdoes blew him up and nothing happened!”
He flicked my hand away. “Delayed reaction?”
Twilight stopped pacing around the balcony to stare at her friends. “What—”
Pop!
The soft seat I was on turned to prickly grass. The dark sky with specks of stars became a burning sun with slowly floating clouds. The barren wasteland that made up most of the Crystal Empire vanished in a blink, and in its wake was a field of trees and tiny bushes. Close to that was a thin hiker’s trail that I recognized all too well.
“Okay…” I whispered, getting to my feet. I didn’t have much time to take in my familiar surroundings before a heavy hand fell to my shoulder.
“Is all of Earth this boring and green?”
I recognized the voice, but chose to deny it as long as I could. I looked from my shoulder to his eagle’s claw, finally to his earsplitting grin. Discord looked as pleased as spiked punch.
“This is the park right next to my condo,” I stated flatly, “and you’re here.”
He nodded, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to soak in the sun’s rays.
“Does that mean everyone made it here?”
“Why don’t you ask them yourself, Steve?” He pointed a finger to the edge of field, where Twilight and her friends had gathered together. Twilight sat on the grass with her jaw agape and her brows heavily lined.
I looked up at him. “So what does this mean?”
“It means all the residents of alt-Equestria have miraculously been displaced, all to this little rock you call home. It seems Sombra has the ability to do wondrous things just before dying, as long as he knows what he’s doing. He must have been thinking of Earth before he died… or perhaps you.”
Twilight sluggishly spread herself along the grass, her face already stained with tears.
I told him, “Twilight doesn’t seem so thrilled about Earth.”
“Of course not,” he answered bluntly. “She wanted her brother back, along with all the rest. But now she has time. All the time she needs to find a way back into real Equestria without damaging it.” He smiled faintly. “Her plan failed, but the odds of its success were always shaky at best. This may not have been the outcome she’d wanted, but perhaps it’s the one she needed all along. She still has her friends. Now she’s no longer in danger every moment of every day. Twilight’s resilient. I’m sure she’ll get better in time.”
A couple more ponies stumbled out of the thick of the trees, both expressions startled and confused. One had a twig and a leaf stuck in their mane.
I sighed. “She also has you now, doesn’t she?”
“Yes, she does.”
“You were going to lose her before, but now…” A large mechanism inside my head slid into place as I rubbed at my temples. I stomped a foot against the grass. “I was a pawn this whole time, wasn’t I?”
“Would you have rather been a Queen?”
I pointed a finger at him. “You were the one that sent me the note making me go there. You were the one that kept giving me cryptic clues about what the hell was going on. You were the one that told me to speak to Sombra before he died. You were practically behind everything. So why didn’t you just do it yourself?”
Discord raised both arms to stretch before bending over to touch his claws and hoof. “How much fun would that’ve been, hmm? Answer: none. Also, I don’t work that way. I am the rightful Lord of Chaos, and Lords of Chaos aren’t supposed to avert doomsday scenarios. Rather, they’re supposed to create them.” He chuckled. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t string someone along and hope for the best.”
I had more questions on the mind. The first one being: “If I punch you hard enough, will you bleed?” But by then he was already walking away from me and towards the others. By that point in time, another two dozen or so ponies had joined their small circle, most eyes on Twilight in the middle.
When Discord strolled into the mix, Twilight went to him and wrapped her forelegs around his chest. A little while later, she faced the rest of the displaced ponies and brushed away her tears. Then she began to tell them what they were going to do. It sounded a lot saner than her previous plan.
I left them to talk and started the short walk home.
What was waiting for me there was not what I expected.
***
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
That was the first thing Sombra said before I sat down beside him. I’d already entered my condo and put my sweatshirt in the closet before something small and dark caught the corner of my eye. Sombra sat in his usual spot, his usual brooding snarl now a bruised and embarrassed pout. Perhaps most important of all, he was now around one-third his original size.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
With his tiny muzzle, he frowned. His two tiny eyes rarely looked away from the carpet.
I leaned back in the couch. “About what? About how I was right that they were tricking you? Or about how on Earth you’re still alive?”
“Of course I’m still alive, Steve,” he mumbled out. “I died once and flew out of your toaster. What did you think was going to happen the second time? You should really get that thing fixed if you don’t want ponies shooting out of it.”
“Well, sorry if I thought that when ponies magically blew up they usually stayed dead. Guess that’s not the case with you, though, is it?”
He glared at me. “I guess not. But I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“Then you want to talk about why you’re suddenly so small?”
He waited before answering. “I don’t think my body likes being torn apart and put back together all that much. Last time that happened, I couldn’t use my horn for a month, remember? I think this must be similar. I’m sure I’ll return to normal soon. I just don’t like looking like a stupid little colt.”
I laughed. “I might have called you ugly before, Sombra, but now you’re freaking adorable.”
He growled deep in his throat. Still adorable. “I am not adorable, Steve! I am pure, unfiltered evil and I’ll—”
I plucked him up by the scruff of his neck and placed him on my lap, running my hand across his head.
The tiny pony thrashed around with little hope of escape. “Let me go! My body is still sore from blowing up! Don’t touch me, Steve!”
“Because of you, I went through hell over the last few days. So until further notice, you’re my own personal stress ball. So if I were you, I’d stop struggling and accept your fate.”
Instead of trying to squirm his way out from my hand, Sombra settled down and buried his head into my side. He hitched in a small breath as fresh tears stained my shirt.
He croaked out, “They blew me up again, Steve.”
I patted his head. “I know, I know. And they shouldn’t have done that.”
“I should’ve trusted you, but I didn’t.”
“I know. You’re an idiot, but that’s all right.”
“They told me I was King again and I really thought I was.”
“Glad you had fun. I think your second reign lasted even longer than the last one.”
He hitched in another breath. “That really hurt, Steve. I don’t want to blow up again.”
I soothed the quivering pony. “Then we’ll try our best not to let that happen again. Also, we’ll try not going to Equestrias that aren’t Equestrias. Sound good?”
He nodded into my side. “Can we order pizza, Steve?”
“Sure, we can. I think we’ve both earned it. But I won’t get our usual. Given your size, I’d say a slice will do you.”
Sombra sniffled. “I’ll show you. I’ll eat a whole pizza by myself.”
I patted his head. “That’s the spirit. I can’t wait to see a colt-sized ex-villain puke pizza all over my floor.” A tall shadow passed by the window and all at once I was reminded of what I’d just done. I licked my dry lips. “But before I do that, there’s something I should probably tell you.”
“What’s that?”
I felt moisture on my brow. “I… uhh… I didn’t come back alone from Equestria.”
“What do you mean, Steve? Who came back with you?”
I chewed on my tongue. “Everyone.”
Sombra shuddered against me. “You mean…”
Knock-knock-knock.
Right outside my door, Discord asked, “Steve? You home? I need a place to crash for a bit. Since I’m here, I should probably ask: how’s your shower pressure? Should I wipe my hooves at the door?”
From the soft confines of my shirt, Sombra asked, “I’m going to go hide under your bed, Steve. Care to come?”
With Sombra in one hand, I went to the bedroom and slid under the bed, nervously watching the living room at the end of the hall. When Discord didn’t knock again, I sighed into the carpet.
That was when someone tall sidled beside me. “Who are we hiding from?” Discord asked. “And did I hear you mention pizza, Steve? I like mine with no dough whatsoever with extra sauce and olives. Cheese on the side and gluten free, of course.”
I kept my face in the carpet, exhaling the last remaining pieces of my soul. Things could always get worse. Eventually, I exited from underneath the bed.
“I’ll go grab the menu.”