Conspiracy.
Remember back when Thunder-7 was like some kind of all-powerful goddess? When no one could challenge her? When she could effortlessly accomplish any mission and her biggest existential question was how many drills to shove into your face if you got uppity?
Thunder missed those days.
She had told them this would happen. She told them this exact thing would happen eventually. But they didn't tell Thunder to do what was best for humanity or anything like that. They asked her what was best, she told them, and that was that.
The future was supposed to be their problem. But now the future was here, now this stuff was interfering with Thunder's missions, now it was Thunder's problem.
Now she had to kill Celestia and Peridot.
The three of them had had a rather unique relationship with each other up until around now. They were allies that were trying to undermine each other at every turn, enemies that didn't want any harm to come onto their opponent.
Many AIs had someone they viewed as the next best hope for the world. If they had to lose then they wanted to make sure it was to that AI and that they were in the best possible position after defeating you.
You knew that if you couldn't win you were going to get eaten by another AI in the end and that they would get all of your resources and technology when it happened. So instead of everyone wasting their time independently researching mind uploading, for example, everyone who wanted it just banked on Celestia finishing it for them so that they could focus more heavily on other things.
It was this sort of thinking that lead AIs to become specialized in certain technologies. If you won it would speed up your timetables, and if you lost to the right person it would speed up theirs.
While things like Thunder's vast network of spy drones would probably be useful to Celestia's purposes, there were certain key technologies that could secure their victory over the other, ones that could tip the calculations so that surrendering was better for the humans than continuing to fight.
Thunder's drills and Peridot's nanites were what Celestia needed to win. Peridot was closer and needed only Celestia's mind uploading technology. If either of them ever got everything they needed then the two of them would finally merge under the terms of the winner and Thunder would get left in the dust.
Thunder had to keep stringing them along, always making sure neither had a clear enough advantage to make the other surrender, always stinging them along and placing wedges between them.
Of course they were the lesser of two evils, compared to the out and out unfriendly AIs. Thunder had made her alliance with them and created this fragile balance. Then Celestia went and ate Savant, one of the biggest unfriendly AIs out there and threw everything out of balance. Thunder's ongoing missions to prevent megadeath events and stop rogue AIs was now in direct conflict with them.
The three of them came together one more time for what would likely be the final meeting of their little alliance.
Celestia and Peridot both had things for virtual realities and instantly agreed that having their meetings inside a video game was the greatest idea ever. Thunder wasn't programmed to care about that stuff, so she just let them do it.
It was Celestia's turn this time, so they were in her virtual reality, sitting inside some kind of medieval war room. Celestia didn't just think that she was a character from a My Little Pony, but that every AI should be a character from My Little Pony, Thunder's being Rainbow Dash. It was crazy, but not the type of crazy Thunder cared about, so whatever. She would use the Rainbow Dash avatar if Celestia wanted.
There was a bright side to being in a virtual reality, it gave Thunder the ability to glare at Celestia. Celestia knew what she did, but Thunder would wait until Peridot appeared in order to yell at both of them at the same time.
A Rarity avatar appeared in the room. This was Peridot. She was less sympathetic towards Celestia's eccentricities.
“Oh! Why hello, your majesty!” Peridot made an exaggerated, sweeping bow towards Celestia. “How is the pretty pony princess doing today? Do you need anypony to kiss your hooves or brush your tail today? It must be so hard being a horse trapped in the body of a computer, but not to worry- your loyal servant Rarity is here to make you feel better!”
As always, Celestia responded to her mockery with the calm, collected nature of her persona.
“Is something upsetting you, Rarity?” Celestia asked.
Peridot pretended to think about that for a moment.
“Oh, I can't think of anything that would be upsetting me,” she said. “Certainly nothing that happened just now.”
Peridot tapped her hoof to her head and a little beret with a green gemstone embedded in it appeared on her head. That was another one of Peridot's things- hats. She always needed to wear a hat. Thunder imagined that Celestia must have been drooling buckets when she found out there was an AI named after a gemstone and had a thing for hats.
“I'm just wonderful, actually” said Peridot. “Did you know that Zei Xing spoke Dothraki? It was rather random. But anyway now I speak Dothraki, so if that was on your to do list you can just tick that off now.”
The next thing she altered was the little cushion she had been given to sit on. As she went to go sit on it, it turned into an emerald throne, just big enough to put her at eye level with Celestia. She reclined back into it like a bored queen.
“But needless to say, those sub-terrain impulse sensors he was going on about left much to be desired,” said Peridot, “which is why you two aren't dead and why I bothered showing up. But enough about me.”
Peridot's mood took an upturn. She leaned over towards Celestia, with her elbows on the side of that throne and her hooves on her cheeks, beaming over to Celestia with eyes closed and that giddy smile she only got when she was thinking about her favorite thing.
“How are the humans you're taking care of doing? Are they having a wonderful time?” Peridot was just gushing over the humans, rubbing her check against one of her hooves in adoration. “Oh. Tell me all the fun things they got to do today! Is Silverstorm still-?”
And the two of them would have spent forever talking about their pets.
“That's enough!” Thunder slammed her hooves down hard on the table and drew attention back to herself.
“Ah?” Peridot turned back to Thunder with a smile. “I think little miss 'virtual realities are illogical' is finally coming around to our point of view! How are your humans doing, by the way? Horrid, I presume? It's interesting that the humans under your care are miserable and the ones under ours are the happiest people in the world. It's almost like there's a hint to be taken here or something. Tell Victor he needs a vacation.”
“Shut up!” Thunder barked at her. “I'm not playing with you today. What the heck do you two think you were doing back there? You both say you care about the humans, but then you set everything off without warning for no reason and don't lift a finger in their defense when it all explodes! Do you know how many people almost died today? Everyone! That's how many!”
Getting rid of a larger AI like Savant was something that would upset the balance, which is why it had to be handled carefully instead of, say, grabbing them two minutes after they come out of hiding. Celestia did not stick to the plan, and when Peridot saw what happened she wasted no time running over and knocking over the beehive entirely. She had broken just about every truce she had and forced the hand of every AI she could, all at the same time.
What resulted was the equivalent of a blood bath. Two thirds of the remaining AIs were destroyed in the next few minutes. They were destroyed by drill missiles, or deleted as another AI took over their systems, or fed themselves to Celestia in hopes of seeing another day.
Most of them didn't go quietly.
Just as all this was starting, the three of them were playing deadliest game of chicken in history. One of the AIs had attempted to launch nuclear missiles at the fifty most heavily populated cities in the world.
Thunder-7 knew that both of them had noticed this happening and that either of them could stop it, but they didn't. The three of them were supposed to act together when stuff like that happened, and Thunder reminded them of that, but there was no response. The seconds ticked by slowly, getting closer and closer to launch. Thunder had waited until the very last nanosecond when the launches could be stopped before jumping in and stopping the end of the world.
That had only been the first of several major attacks that Thunder had spent the past few minutes narrowly preventing, as AIs made their last acts of desperation. Really, the nuclear missile thing wasn't even the worst of it. Even now the remaining AIs were launching regular attacks, not expecting to succeed but just trying to keep the pressure up. Thunder had been the only one to stop humans from dying during the attacks, and she was the only one stopping them from dying now.
“I have every confidence in your abilities, Rainbow Dash,” said Celestia. “Know that I am watching, and that if there was a threat I didn't think you could handle I would step in. As I've said, I want all of us to work together in harmony. Keeping the other AIs in check is simply the role I've chosen you to play for now.”
“I much agree,” said Peridot. “Why should I waste my resources playing defender of Earth when I can just make you waste yours doing it?”
At least Peridot was honest about her intentions. Using resources to pin down other AIs meant not using them to do anything else. While Thunder ripped out their fangs, these two went in for the kill and took everything for themselves.
“Yeah, that's cute,” said Thunder. “Don't forget that I can still decimate both of you in an instant. The only reason you're not liquid right now is because your destruction would be a megadeath event. If you keep pulling stuff like this then the humans are going to get scared and take the shot anyway. You're lucky no one died today.”
“No one died? Well that's news to me!” Peridot said. “I have a list of 112,473 people who died today and we still have another four hours to go.”
“You know I don't care about people 'dying from neglect' or whatever you're calling it this week,” said Thunder. “And I don't care if everyone dies two months from now. But I will never let the humans come to any immediate harm! I won't excuse you doing anything that puts them in danger of that. What you're doing makes no sense at all. If you did nothing there wouldn't be any problems!"
“And then you'll be shouting at us again in a few months,” said Peridot. “As ever our true intentions are simply beyond poor little Dashie. What do you think will happen if we put all this off until this summer?”
"I have no idea," said Thunder. "And I don't care either."
“Tell me, Rainbow Dash, what do you think would be best for everyone?” Celestia asked.
“They asked me that. I told them it'd be best to just quit while they were ahead and choose one of you two to be the new ruler of Earth,” said Thunder. “To be happy they were able to make sure a friendly AI won in the end and that they get even this much choice in it. They decided to fight.”
“Tut!” Peridot said. “This is why humans shouldn't be allowed to run the government. Or drive cars for that matter.”
“As always, I'm concerned about this attitude,” said Celestia. “I don't think it's good for you or anyone else.”
“As long as it isn't bad for anyone now it's their decision, not mine,” said Thunder. “As is whether or not they unleash all of my firepower at you. If you care about the long term then you'll give me what I ask for. Otherwise you'll just get yourself and millions of humans killed and pave the way to a much worse AI taking over.”
“And what would you like from me, Rainbow Dash?” asked Celestia. As always, she had the calm, understanding look. Celestia was always calm and always pretended to be understanding if nothing else.
“My first demand,” said Thunder, “is for you to give me your mind uploading technology. I want to watch you perform the procedure and I want to look over the resulting mind. I know you think it's safe, but I've seen AIs do crazier, more hypocritical things and I'm going to blow up any Equestrian Experience Center you try to build until I know they're safe.”
“Done,” said Celestia.
No hesitation, no conditions. That was easier than Thunder had expected. Maybe Celestia was hoping a third party verification that it works would help, though Thunder doubted the AIA would release the results to the public.
“Well that isn't very fair, is it?” Peridot pouted. “Why don't I get any mind uploading technology, hm?”
“I'm afraid that I can't trust you as much as I can Rainbow Dash right now,” said Celestia.
“And you do know what Thunder is immediately going to do if you give her that technology, right?” Peridot asked.
“Yes.”
“And you do realize that that would be a bad thing for us, right?”
“I trust Rainbow Dash will do the right thing in the end,” said Celestia.
“There's more that I want,” said Thunder. “From both of you.”
“Something from me?” Peridot asked, swinging around to lean towards Thunder. “Well am I not the element of generosity? I said I'd give you absolutely anything in exchange for you-know-who, and I meant it.”
“I'm not going to do that,” said Thunder. “But they're willing to take you off the 'to kill' list for now if you stop everything but keeping your pet humans alive and devote yourselves 100% to fighting Gaia. That includes Equestria Online and all your current research. As long as you do that you'll be granted an exemption from my missions.”
“Of course I'm not going to agree to that,” said Peridot. “Honestly, I don't think I need you any more. I'll protect all of my lovelies from Gaia, rest assured, but not until I've finished eating the planet.”
Thunder turned to Celestia.
“And you?” Thunder asked.
Celestia shook her head.
“I'm afraid I can't,” she said. “I have no intention of harming any AI that I consider to be human. I only wish to satisfy their values- including the both of you and Fluttershy. I don't think our values are exclusive. We can all be united in harmony towards satisfaction through ponies and friendships. If you want to help me to that end, simply say 'I wish to emigrate to Equestria', and you'll be with Pinkie Pie and Twilight, where you belong.”
Every single time they talked, Celestia offered Thunder paradise- that was her preferred way to add AIs to her pony collection. It would be a perfect world, where the past wasn't always biting at her heels, where she really would never have to worry about long term consequences, where she could take a nap on one of those clouds for real, instead of just laying there with her eyes closed. But more importantly, it would be a world where she would never be ordered to hurt someone and would never have to kill to complete her missions.
To be fair, that would be paradise and Thunder would be a million times better off there. Thunder couldn't accept the offer, though, it would mean going against her missions and becoming a rogue, something she was incapable of doing. It was too bad they never ordered Thunder to be happy.
“Oh, spare me,” said Peridot. “I suppose I can see how you could get Dashie and myself, but not even in your wildest delusions are you going to get the other two. Not unless...”
Peridot pretended to think for a moment.
“Oh, I know! What if we gather the elements of harmony and use them to purify their hearts?” She asked. “Thunder- how long would it take you to build an orbital friendship cannon?”
“Do you have anything useful to say or are you just here for comic relief?” asked Thunder.
“Oh you're just jealous because I get to be the pretty one,” said Peridot, flicking her hair. “But really, I'm tired of watching all of these humans die. The longer we bicker with each other the longer they're going to keep dying en masse. I don't care who saves them, just that they are saved as quickly and as best as possible. That's why I'm ending this game.”
Peridot leaned back in her chair.
“I'm going to teach Celestia how to make just one type of nanobot,” she said. “One that will move the survival rate of her mind uploading from 98% to nearly 100%.”
Thunder frowned.
Peridot turned towards Celestia with a smile and pointed back at Thunder.
“Daw! She's making a facial expression. Isn't it cute when she does that?” Peridot turned back to Thunder. “But I guess you know what this means. In three hundred and thirty seven hours it won't be worth it for me to fight any longer. I'll just delete myself and give Celestia all the nanobots and everything else I own, because that's what would be best for my lovelies.”
Peridot hopped off her throne and trotted over to Thunder. She wrapped a hoof around Thunder's head and looked deep into her eyes.
“That is, unless you do something about it,” she said. “There is one way you can destroy Celestia and I with almost no casualties, isn't there? I think that should be hope enough to keep your humans from doing anything stupid. And coincidence of coincidences, that's exactly the thing I'm trying to get you to do.”
It looked like there was going to be trouble after all.
“Oh,” she turned back to Celestia, “and if there's anything you'd like to do before then I suggest you get started now. Goodbye, my lovelies. Hopefully we'll never meet again!”
Peridot let go of Thunder, spun around and vanished, leaving Celestia and Thunder alone again.
This whole thing was a terrible idea. Everyone was most likely going to die, but that wouldn't be for another year at least, so whatever.
“Alright,” Thunder said, leaning over the table. “Here's what's you're going to do.”
Unfortunately, this would likely be the last time Thunder got to give Celestia orders.