Improbable Truth

by Charon the Chronicler

Extra: Jeune

It was one of those days: Zecora had no jobs for me, no renovations were necessary for my home, all of my chores were done, and I was too scared of the Pink Terror to go near the library. All that was left was thinking. Thinking about the evidence for and against my delusion. Thinking about the possibility that what I see may be real, and that everything was ̶

There was a knock at the door, interrupting that train of thought before it arrived at the next station.

Thank God.

I opened the door to find a familiar mare with a weasel in her hair and a fox by her side.

“Effie, how nice to see you here!” I smiled, grateful that she managed to provide a distraction from my errant thoughts. “What’s going on?

“Well, um…” Fluttershy hid behind her mane. “Rarity insisted she take us to a Prench restaurant, and I needed to find somepony to take care of the more…lively…carnivore friends of mine while I’m away from my cottage. This is Robert the fox, and this ̶ ” she pulled the weasel out of her hair, but it didn’t seem to want to let go. With a mighty pull and a pop, the weasel faceplanted on the floor of my cottage. Fluttershy winced, and leaned down to make sure he was okay. She got back up and pointed to the weasel. “ ̶ And this is Linneus the weasel.”

“So you just want to make sure they don’t eat the others?” The weasel somehow frowned while the fox took an innocent air.

“What? Um,” the pegasus avoided my gaze. “Maybe…They’re a bit new, so they don’t really know the rules. So when Rarity invited me, I thought of somepony with a lot of experience with carnivores.”

“So you thought of me,” I nodded. “A logical decision. Sure, Steel and I can watch over them.”

“Oh, thank you!” Fluttershy leaped to me and wrapped her forelegs around me.

“Yeah, no need to get so excited.” Fluttershy stiffened and leaped back, blushing profusely.

“Sorry…” She squeaked. “I…just…”

“It’s fine.” I waved a hoof. “You just really love your animals. Anything you should tell me about Robert and Lenny?”

“Well, they are pretty tricky sometimes.” The fox stuck out his tongue. “So keep an eye on them. They like causing trouble.”

“Steel’s prowling around, so I’ll keep my eyes on both of them until he gets back. They won’t outfox me or weasel out of their situation.” Realizing the pun I’d just made, I facehoofed.

“Um…alright. I hope this isn’t too much trouble for you…”

“No, it isn’t.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

“I can’t believe they tricked me!”

I raced to the door that the weasel managed to open for himself and the fox, cussing profusely.

I had one job, one! And I screwed it up big time!

Bursting through the half-opened door, I found Steel Fang looking towards the Everfree with his head cocked to the side.

“Did you see them?” I asked as I galloped towards him. “A fox and a weasel?” Steel Fang turned to me and nodded, wagging his tail somewhat. “Effie told me to watch over them. We need to catch them before they cause or get into trouble. No eating them.” Steel nodded, but I was feeling particularly vicious, so I continued. “But feel free to make them piss themselves in fear.”

The hunt was on. I followed Steel as he ran through the forest, nostrils to the ground, picking up their scent. Alone, running, I felt a familiar feeling bubbling within me. I had to…it was a damn song. Looking about, I saw nobody, nothing more than the dark trees and the tense atmosphere.

To hell with it. I shrugged. I’ll sing. But I'll choose the song. A song Father taught me.

And I let the lyrics coming from within to spill out.

After only a few minutes of running, we finally caught up to those two furry jerks. Seeing us burst out of the foliage sent them into a panic and they split in two different directions.

"I'll get Linneus, you get the fox." Steel yipped and bounded after Robert. I grinned wildly and began singing again before giving chase.

Finally, I managed to corner the little git at a ledge. I don't think he wanted to go through the tumble. Smiling viciously, I approached Linneus.

"Nowhere to run, buddy. Just come with me, it'll be easier."

Wow, that felt good. I guess I just need a bit of ̶
Unbidden lyrics began spilling out of my mouth without warning.

I was panicking, I didn't know these lyrics!

A multitude of voices began to echo in the last verse.

Linneus just stared at me in confusion as I finished the odd song.

"What was that all abou--" A red blur rushed in between my legs and collided into Linneus, sending them both careening down the cliff. "Hey!" I exclaimed before something twice my height barreled into me and made us tumble down in the same manner Linneus had. When I finally shook myself from my stupor, I saw Robert, Linneus, and Steel in a mish-mashed pile of catastrophe. And we were all sitting in a bunch of blue flowers.

"Fuck."

There was a knock at the spa door. Aloe walked over to the door for more customers. It may have been an odd time, but she and her sister would provide premiere pony pampering, no matter the hour. What she saw on the other side of the door elicited a strangled gasp, followed by a snort as she struggled to contain her laughter.

First, the stallion. It seemed as if he had gone through a lot before arriving at the spa; his dull teal coat was matted, his black and white mane ragged and messy. He wore a bored expression on his face, almost masking the exhaustion he felt. But where wings normally would be stuck out two ridiculous unicorn horns, while a lone chicken wing flapped on his forehead.

On his back, nestled between the two horns, lay a tiny gray cub with the most adorable paws and eyes. He tried to look intimidating, but that only made Aloe coo more at the sight.

Batting at the wing on his his head was a weasel with a very strange body. However, upon closer inspection, Aloe realized its entire midsection had been replaced by an accordion, and every movement it made was accompanied by a musical tone.

In between the stallion's legs was a garish fox, who positively glowed from all the neon colors its coat consisted of. It tried to slink further back from Aloe's gaze, but she couldn't not look at it.

All of them were covered in blue dots.

"I'll get a bath ready." Aloe stymied a snort.

"Please."