H1P1

by gamer52599

Day Ninety Eight

After a nice long time in Canada, and finding it a bit boring with it just being hockey and maple trees. I decided to head back home and try to get back in my house, I think I remember where I left the spare key.

After reaching the house I lifted up the doormat to find the spare key under it, while I was told not to put the spare key under the door mat, but I left it there because I knew something like this would happen and I would be locked out of my own house.

With spare key in mouth, I opened the door and went in.

As soon as I entered I heard arguing. “-no Discord, I’m telling the Princess Celestia and that's final!”

“What has she ever done besides tell you where to go!”

And it kept getting more petty from there, as I slowly made my way to the kitchen where it was coming from.

Then I saw it, a swirling vortex of violet in the middle of my kitchen right above where the tube full of H1P1 fell… And inside are two blockheads arguing over something about a princess.

“Um… I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

They stopped arguing and looked in my direction, then the freak of nature got a wide grin. “See my dear Twilight, I told you we would be found eventually.”

“But it’s a pony, what kind of world is this?” Said Twilight I presume.

“Actually I wasn’t always like this, I guess you could say a tube full of disease actually did this.”

That got them both wide eyed. “If we caused this.” Said Twilight.

“Then we need to fix this.” Said presumably Discord.

“But first the portal.” Twilight said.

“Ms… Uh, what is your name?”

“Zero, Patient Zero.” I said proudly.

While Twilight seemed ok with this answer, Discord seemed confused by it. “Are you certain that's your birth name?”

I didn't know what he meant by that, then I remembered the odd question. “I don’t remember, it disappeared from my mind when this entire transformation finished.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do after we get the portal stabilized, speaking of which, that’s the reason we sent out the letter.”

After he said that he snapped his talons and suddenly I am garbed in a baseball cap, a soccer tee and in my mouth is a tennis racket, and none of it fits.

“Alright, now Twilight I need you to cast the stabilization spell I taught you.”

“Right!” Said Twilight as she cast the spell.

Then it went towards me and I instinctively ricochet it back through with the racket, Discord then swung his at the spell and sent it back through and it continued like this until it exploded in the portal.

After the rainbow light faded, I saw that there was now a solid crystal border around the portal and it was on the ground instead of floating in the air.

“I don’t think we introduced ourselves, my name is Twilight Sparkle,” She looked toward Discord with an unamused look. “and this is Discord, the reason this all happened.”

Looking toward the freak of nature I see he’s wearing glasses now, like he was blinded by the light, he even had a cane.

Twilight was unamused. “Drop the act, I know you can’t really go blind.”

He snapped his fingers and the cane disappeared, but not the glasses.

“And return Rainbows glasses!”

“Ugh… Very well.” *Snap*

After that there was one question left in my mind. “Why are you with a Q?”

“A what?” Asked Twilight.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I was unconvinced but it seemed genuine from both, so for now, I’ll let it slide.

So then I got to explaining what I know so far, and asking if they can return me back to being human.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know why this happens, but I do know somepony who could help.” She said looking toward Discord.

“Unfortunately, I Pinkie promised Fluttershy to never under any circumstance change a pony’s species.”

“Forever!” Said the pink pony on the other side of the portal.

“Is that a common occurrence?”

“More than you can think.” Said Twilight.

After a while we started trying a different route.

“What if you two try and work it out with my friend Derrick, he kinda got the flu as well, but he understands it better, I can show you the way, it’s a two and a half hour flight from here to there.”

“Alright.” Said Twilight.

After that I started showing them the way.

I can’t work anything!

Without hands, I can’t use any of my important equipment, hindering my ability to research Pestis.

Then I heard something from the vents I look up to see Allen coming out along with a purple winged unicorn.

“And here is Derrick, the one I told you about.”

I looked over at my old friend and said. “Zero, who is that, if she’s infected I’d like her awa-” I was cut off by the sound of something coming through the vents.

“What is with some people making their ventilation unfit to fit a draconequus!”

“Discord, you can shrink.” Said the purple unicorn.

“You need to understand Twilight, I’m still getting used to this world, and I don’t want to mess with the chaos these fine humans have made for themselves.” He said as he came out of the vent revealing something that looks like mother nature just said screw it, and mix n matched a bunch of animal parts together.

After the initial shock of seeing such a creature I decided to ask Allen a question. “Who are these two?”

Allen then said. “You remember that letter I showed you, the one you said is impossible and never should have worked, well they came from the place that the letter lead to.”

I remembered that, I looked it over and never could figure out how it worked beside the fact that the ink slid across the paper somehow. I never could find out how it worked entirely.

After that we started making small talk, which ended with me saying.

“Magic, ruled by princesses, only known queen is evil. Either this is the most peaceful world, it's a Disney movie, or both.”

“Whats a Disney movie?”

“Please note that Disney is a trademark of Disney.” Said Discord to a random direction.

we didn't very well explain what it is, but neither of us cared for Disney besides Frozen, which we have gotten sick of.

But something came up when Allen said she heard that there was a summit happening at the UN in order to deal with this problem.

“If your leaders are hosting a summit I think I should go as well, I can at least try to help.” Said Twilight.

“Hold up, you can’t go to a UN summit, not without first doing something to prove you're not an infected and come in peace in some way.”

“That's good to know, I think I got the best way there is to prove I’m not like anypony else.” She said looking toward Discord like a predator to her pray.

“Now if you excuse me, I need to work out how to use my equipment with hooves.”

“Here let me help.” Said Twilight levitating the equipment I was trying to work with into place and adjusting them perfectly.

“... Can you explain to me how to do that?”

“Sure it’s easy.”

Two hours of levitation training later. Said the time card.

So now I can barely lift my tools, which is better than not being able to lift them at all, but still.

“So I suggest you try to get on national television and explain that it was your fault that this all happened and that it was an accident,” I said. “otherwise, kiss your chance to fix this at a political level good as gone.”

“Right!” they both said before teleporting out.

“Maybe we should have explained some more things to them.” Said Allen.

“Yeah…” I said.