Crud woke up and yelled proudly "YES! I did not die in my sleep! Looks like you lost again death!" He walked down stairs to his kitchen. His room mate went shopping to buy food and now the fridge was filled. "Okay now what will I have for breakfast!" he yelled. He opened the door to find that the only thing in his fridge was pancakes. "Well," Crud said "I know what i'm having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Dammit Shoestring." He took a tall stack of pancakes and cooked it up, put it on plate, put on syrup and butter on them, and started eating.
Soon he was down to last pancake. "Dam I don't think I could eat another bite." Crud said, "NO! I must! Why, because a real stallion eats every single bite of his meal to the very last crumb." Just as he was about to eat the last pancake a chicken flew in on the table. "Chicken!" Crud yelled "What the fuck are you doing here!" The chicken looked at the last pancake that was on his plate. Crud Hooves knew what the chicken was thinking. "Mr.Chicken don't you dare." The chicken got closer to the pancake. "Celestia dammit if you even peck that I will eat your children." Crud Yelled. The chicken took the pancake and made a run for it. "I'm eating your babies!" screamed Crud Hooves.
Crud Hooves knew that he would have to get the pancake back to prove himself as a stallion. He ran towards the chicken who was still running with the pancake in his mouth. The chicken got lucky because applejack was pulling her cart full of apples. The chicken ran under the cart. "Dammit cart's in the way." Crud thought "I know i'll blow it up." Crud used magic and blew up the apple cart. Just as he was about to get to the chicken Applejack stopped Crud right in his place.
"Now why in tarnation did you blow up my apples?!" Applejack said "Well."
Crud Hooves had to think of something because he remembers the last time he fought with Applejack. He thought about it and then he came up with a ideal.
"Well Applejack I was helping you make umm apple sauce yeah now toodle loo." he said.
"People don't want applesauce they want apples. You do realize you have to pay for every darn tootin apple you blew up right!?" Applejack said.
"Well I left my wallet at, look i'll be honest with you i'm not paying you." Crud Hooves said.
"So BYE!" he said fabulessly while running away!
Crud Hooves ran around to end up finding the chicken hiding behind Fluttershy. "Why her why did it have to be her."
"Umm hello can you please uhh stop chasing the chicken." Fluttershy asked nicely.
"But that fuck stole my pancake!" he yelled.
"Mister Chicken you know better then that you should ashamed of yourself." Fluttershy said.
"Ha! You in big trouble now ya little shit!" Crud Hooves said in a African accent ( You know like OH HELL NO)
"You should too." Fluttershy said. "You should ask for it back decides you can catch chicken flu if you eat after a chicken."
"1.It's a fucking chicken!2.Chicken flu? That's a old mare's tale. Now if you excuse me a have a breakfast to catch." Crud yelled.
The chicken ran away and Crud Hooves soon chased after it. Eventually he had the chicken cornered. "Gotcha now BITCH!" Crud yelled. Then a blast of dubstep came from the house the chicken was cornered in. It caused Crud Hooves to fall down and cover his ears and say "OH CELESTIA HELP ME THAT'S TOO LOUD!" The chicken took this to his advantage and ran out of the house with the pancake still in his beak. "Dammit Vinyl calm your Nowacking ass down!" Crud yelled.
"Crud man what are you doing in my house?" Vinyl asked.
"Chicken, pancake, being a stallion, long story!" Crud Hooves yelled.
"Ok see ya later dude." Vinyl said.
"Ha ha NOPE!" Crud replied.
Crud Hooves was getting tired of chasing the chicken and yelled "Ok chicken I give up you can have the dam pancake you beat me fair and square." The chicken probably feeling sorry dropped the pancake ........ in a mud puddle. "You fool!" Crud yelled "You failed for my fake surrender. In this situation I am the victor and you are a worthless piece of meat just waiting to be put on a platter!" He took the pancake out of the mud puddle and just gorged on it feeling ever so victorious.
Deadlock caught him eating the pancake and came over to say a few words.
"What the hell are you doing!? There is mud on that fucking pancake!" Deadlock yelled.
"I don't care if there was a face on it! I fought for it! I never felt this great since the war. WHOO HOOO!" Crud Yelled.
"Okay ya sick bastard eat that disgusting thing to your heart's content, also I know that the pancake was in a chicken's mouth. So yeah the doctor will see you in a week." Deadlock replied.
"Ha ha see the doctor in a week why that's the biggest load of shit I've heard all day and I've heard some shit today."
One week later.
Crud Hooves was in a doctor's room feeling quite terrible. The doctor was there and said "Well we took some blood and DNA tests and,"
"Ya took my blood and DNA you better not make clones." Crud Hooves interrupted.
"Ha ha ha no, anyways we found out that you have chicken flu. Now is there any way you could of caught it, per say like for example had any interactions with chickens or chicken like animals?"
Crud Hooves thought for a minute and realized something. "(Gasp) That motherfu" THE END.