//------------------------------//
// Fancy Pants Stole My Sister 
// Story: Fancy That? 
// by HapHazred 
//------------------------------//

Luna could feel the yawn coming. It rose up in her throat, slowly building strength, and she clenched her teeth together to strangle it before it became too strong. She had been awake for far longer than she'd have liked. It didn't help she was prone to staying up late, keeping an eye on the night she had created. She was running on barely four hours of sleep.

Still, this was hardly the place to let her fatigue show. Her skies were precious to her. Each one was a painting, a magnificent picture that could never be replicated. It was for that reason that she paid the utmost respect to the artists work showcased at the Grand Canterlot Hall, a truly magnificent building that hearkened back to the days before her banishment. The walls were adorned with countless mirrors, and dozens of magnificent paintings were held before them on beautiful easels. The night was as tasteful as any she had been to, and Luna was determined to keep up appearances.

Art was pure expression. It was no coincidence, she remembered, that the nights before her banishment had been recorded as the darkest in history. Her own feelings plastered onto the sky, some said.

"More champagne, milady?"

Luna turned towards her aide, a middle-aged pony butler. His vicious, reptilian eyes completely hid the warm and tender heart Silver Cup possessed. A kinder and friendlier soul Luna had never met, and he had been wonderful enough to behave as one would have a thousand years earlier, for the sole purpose of making her more comfortable.

"Why, yes," Luna answered, levitating the delicate crystal cup using her magic. "Thank you, Silver."

She walked up to one of the paintings, the most colourful in the entire room. She smiled when she recognized the subject of the painting. There was no mistaking Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom anywhere.

"How gauche," came a snide voice to the side. Luna tilted her head.

"You think so?" she asked the nameless pony. "I find it to be a magnificent expression of colour."

The pony she had addressed backed away, a nervous look on his face. He was evidently concerned about angering the Princess. Luna didn't smile. Whilst she was happy to defend the painting she found so distinctive, she wasn't happy to be treated with fear.

"He's just nervous about your rank, milady," was Silver Cup's reassuring comment. Luna sighed, and her face brightened.

"Thank you," she replied. "I keep forgetting." She looked around the grand ballroom. "Perhaps we should seek out my sister: surely she must be getting quite lonely." Silver's lips pursed. Luna raised an eyebrow. "You have something to say?"

"Perhaps it would be best to leave her Highness to her own devices for this evening, milady," Silver suggested. "After all, your presence can be further asserted if you are in two places at once."

Luna tilted her head. "Agreed, but I wished this to be a family outing!" she declared. "And one cannot visit a grand exhibition with one's sister when one's sister is not available for fun."

Silver conceded this point. "Your logic is irrefutable as always."

"Excellent," Luna declared. "Bring me to my sister at once! We shall peruse these wonderful works of art and have an enjoyable evening!"

"More champagne, milady?" Silver asked her, holding out a new glass. The old one had become empty.

"Yes," Luna told him. "But you shall not distract me from my quest. Onwards," she said, well aware of Silver's devious tactics. The champagne had been a ruse, she thought. 

The pair strode through the crowd of sharp dressed ponies towards where Silver had last seen Princess Celestia. The mob of nobles parted easily due to Luna's size and the respect she commanded.

"Why dissuade me from seeing my sister, Silver?" she asked, puzzled. "Your motives elude me."

Silver Cup remained stoic. "I was under the impression your sister may be occupied."

"Then we shall rescue her from said occupation," Luna replied. "This shall be an evening of merriment."

"Yes, milady."

As they escaped the milling ponies, Luna caught sight of her sister. Celestia was hard to miss: she towered over most ponies, and her mane took up more space than a full grown stallion. Not to mention the aura of pure nobility she bore. Not even Luna could match it, which was a source of great frustration to her. Celestia oozed calm respect, even under pressure. Luna was, as Silver had once pointed out to her dismay, far too 'playful'.

Well, that was due to change, Luna thought to herself. Celestia was far too stuffy. She would have fun this evening, and nothing she could say would stop her.

"Silver, prepare two more glasses," she ordered, handing him the empty glass. Silver gave Luna a wide eyed stare as he refilled the glass, and then another.

Luna noticed the crowd around Celestia. Two mares, she noticed, dressed in fabulous golden dresses. Luna snorted: she had no need for clothing to complement her regal beauty, she thought to herself, and neither did Celestia. Luna's deep, lustrous coat was stunning enough. The third pony, a unicorn stallion, wore a pitch black tuxedo. His voice was the most distinctive thing about him, Luna remarked. If Stilton cheese had a voice, it would sound like that. Rich and pleasant, with a hint of mischief to it.

Celestia chucked to some joke he had said. "Quite right, Mr. Pants," she told him.

"Oh, please, call me Algernon. It's far more informal than Mr. Pants, and Fancy just sounds pretentious," the stallion replied. 

Luna's eyes narrowed as Celestia chuckled again. "T'was not even funny," she muttered under her breath. How could Celestia have amusement without her royal presence to assist her? It boggled the mind.

"Sister!" she exclaimed, and exploded between the pair like a cork from a pop-gun. "We shall explore the exhibition! Silver, provide the champagne!"

A glass levitated before Celestia's nose. "The champagne is provided, milady."

"Then we shall depart! Come, I have found the most colourful painting of all creation! Its like has not graced Equestria since time began! It is highly pretty!" Luna grabbed Celestia by the hoof and dragged her away from her personal crowd. Celestia would thank her later, she thought. "Come! We shall have fun!"

Celestia widened her eyes in surprise. Fancy gave a hearty laugh as Luna continued to pull. "Oh, Luna..." Celestia babbled, taken by surprise. "Well, of course. Mr.... Algernon, do join us!"

Fancy Pants adjusted his monocle and trotted after them. "How can I refuse?" he said, a smile playing his lips. 

Luna only just stopped her jaw dropping. We do not require you to have fun, she thought.

Celestia took ahold of the glass Silver was providing and managed to shake herself free from Luna's grip. "You can stop pulling, Luna," she warned. "I can walk fine on my own."

The trio made their way through the crowd, Luna leading the way awkwardly. This was not going according to plan. Celestia should be alone with her, not catering to appearances by discussing politics with some noble!

"Where is that accent from," Celestia asked. "I can't quite place it."

Strange and mysterious politics indeed, Luna thought.

"Trottingham, Princess," Fancy replied. "Born and raised."

"Do call me 'Tia, Algernon," Celestia replied. "Princess is far too formal, and Celestia just sounds pretentious," she added with a smile.

Inconceivable, Luna thought. Only I can call her Tia! 'Tis not right!

"Here it is, Tia," Luna declared, pointing towards the painting of Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom. "Is it not colourful!"

"More than colourful, I'd say," Fancy pointed out. "In fact, I insisted the exhibition include this one personally. They felt it was too avant-garde. Even had the gall to call it 'impressionistic',."

"You were able to get the management to change their minds?" Celestia asked, raising her eyebrow. Fancy nodded.

"My name carries a certain amount of weight. I try to use it as well as I can."

"How noble," Celestia said with a smile.

Pay attention to me! What are you doing, 'Tia?

"What is this 'impressionism' you mentioned?" Luna asked, desperate to salvage the conversation. Fun was still within her grasp!

"Impressionism is a derogatory term for a style of art," Fancy explained. "Though I hear the artists themselves rather enjoy it." Fancy eyed the painting. "They have a very peculiar way with light that I find enjoyable and unique. A pity most critics disagree."

"History has a way of changing its mind over time," Celestia said. "Impressionists may yet get the recognition they deserve."

Fancy nodded. "I hope so. It is a sad thing to see something beautiful go unappreciated," he said, giving Celestia a look. Luna felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

It must be the monocle, she thought, that is the source of that look. Celestia blushed. 'Tis not the monocle.

"Let us find a new painting!" Luna exclaimed. "Perhaps this one shall provide more entertainment!"

Both Celestia and Fancy observed the new painting Luna forcibly placed them in front of. This one was a portrait of a mare Luna did not recognize. A model, perhaps. In fact, given her poise and elegance, it seemed more than likely.

"Ah, yes. The Mane-a Lisa," Celestia said. "I remember this one. The artist was quite proud. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know it became a staple of art for centuries to come."

This time, Fancy had no comment. Luna saw his brow furrow and knot together. Huzzah! Now perchance he shall leave me and 'Tia by ourselves!

Celestia hesitated. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked Fancy. The stallion shook his head, forcing a smile back on his face.

"Oh, no, not at all," he said. "I was just taken by surprise when you talked so... casually about a work of art done... goodness, centuries ago."

Celestia brushed her mane out of her eyes. "Yes... yes, sorry about that."

"Don't you worry. It simply took me by surprise... 'Tia."

Luna froze when she heard the noise Celestia made. Her snout crumpled up as she realized, much to her absolute horror, that her sister had giggled.

"Art thou diseased, Sister?" she asked, slipping back into her old-speak out of sheer surprise. Celestia stood petrified.

"Nay, Luna. 'Twas but a—" Celestia stopped herself from following suit. "I think the champagne must have gotten to me, is all."

Luna felt an uncharacteristic nudge from Silver. She shot him a glance. "What?"

"I believe the buffet is available, milady," he said. "Perhaps you are feeling hungry?"

Luna looked over at Fancy, and then at Celestia. Neither looked happy. She turned back to Silver. "Why, yes, I do believe all this... fun... has had me working up quite an appetite." She held out her hoof as jovially as she could manage. "Lead me to dinner!"

Silver bowed to Celestia, who returned him a curt nod. Fancy raised his glass at him as the two departed, and the last thing Luna saw of the pair was them spluttering at each other, visibly embarrassed.

"How dare the lowborn steal my sister from me!" Luna muttered, grumpy. "'Tis not right."

"I believe, unless my senses deceive me, that her Highness wished to be stolen."

Luna stuck her chin out. "'Tis no excuse. Is this normal behaviour in today's Equestria?"

"Milady, I believe you misunderstand," Silver began. Luna shook her head.

"Nay, Silver, I understand perfectly. This Fancy 'Algernon' Pants seeks to sabotage my relationship with my sister for some unknown purpose!" She narrowed her eyes. "Perchance he seeks—"

"Milady, you are slipping back into Equestria's former tongue," Silver advised her. Luna stopped in her tracks.

"Quite right. I am flustered. Forgive me," she replied. "This simply... was not how I expected the evening to go."

They reached the buffet. It was crowded, but it parted quickly for Luna and her servant. "I understand entirely, milady... but there is very little one can do in such a situation."

"And what situation is this, pray tell?"

Silver hesitated. "Perhaps it would be best to explain in a less public setting, milady. I fear your inexperience with modern ways might begin causing quite a bit of trouble for yourself and her Highness Celestia."

Luna stomped her hoof as she took a small cheese cracker. "All I wish is to cause trouble for the upstart, Mr. Pants."

"I doubt your sister would approve of that arrangement."

"What she approves of is irrelevant: it her her safety I am concerned for."

"I am most certain her Majesty will take the proper precautions," Silver said. "You know her feelings on protection."

"Yes. I am aware she surrounds herself with guards at all times." Luna swallowed another cheese cracker whole. "Her guards cannot protect her from herself, though, no matter how hard they may try. I, on the other hand, am perfectly prepared to do what is necessary." She sighed, and looked over the crowd at her elder sister, still standing alongside the devious Mr. Pants. "You would do best to educate me in modern ways as soon as we return to the palace. I... feel most uncomfortable watching my sister and not understanding her." She looked over at Silver. "In olden times we were hardly close, but I could tell what she was thinking. Her speech matched my own and etiquette wasn't... so informal. I am at a loss. I feel a stranger among my own family."

Silver nodded appreciatively, and handed her another platter of crackers. "Of course, milady. I shall explain all when we return. Until then, I recommend the Griffonian Goat's cheese: it is exquisite."





The carriage ride back to the palace felt cold and detached. Celestia refused to acknowledge Luna's outburst earlier, and stared out the window, admiring the night sky. Luna's fatigue had returned, and she realized she wouldn't be equipped to watch over the night this time around. A pity: it looked sublime.

As soon as they had dismounted the carriage, Luna trotted to her room, Silver Cup in tow. Once they arrived at the Princess's quarters, the Night Pony butler closed the door.

"Now, Silver, you must explain. What is the meaning of my sister's sudden behaviour?"

"Milady... I suspect you are not quite familiar with modern... romantic procedures, are you?"

Luna remained quiet. Silver gave no indication he felt awkward in any way whatsoever. 

"I am... unaware."

Silver nodded. "I thought as much, milady."

"Are you suggesting that Princess Celestia of Equestria would associate with a lowborn in such a manner?" Luna asked, narrowing her eyes. "If I recall correctly, he was Mister Fancy Pants, not Lord."

"That matter is considered far more trivial than it was in your age, milady."

Luna sat down, stroking her powerful chin. "I shall investigate. And was my sister reciprocating these advances?"

"I believe that it's far too early to say for sure."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Nonsense! Courtship is an extravagant affair, and there would be poems recited and banquets held. Is there not an equivalent for modern times?"

"...Not as such, milady."

"This strikes me as highly irresponsible. How should one know?"

"There is considerable amount of guesswork involved, milady, but I believe, if my intuition is to be trusted, that Celestia was interested."

"Guesswork?!" Luna exploded. "Romance is not guesswork. It is passion, not dilly-dallying on the spot like a confused filly!"

Silver nodded. "I can see why it might seem that way, although this method also allows the participants to discover their prospective partner well in advance."

Luna pouted. "I find the matter ridiculous. For if it were true, then I would have acted the clown before my sister and her romantic partner, which is an eventuality I will not consider." She crossed her forehooves. "Find another explanation."

"I fear that is beyond my abilities, milady."

Luna hung her head in defeat. "I... see." She straightened herself out. "Well, I do believe I must make amends. I shall also require your assistance in future endeavours, Silver." She got to her hooves and exited the room, giving only just enough time for Silver to follow her.





Celestia was standing in front of a large, ornate paining hanging in the corridor. Why she had stopped there, Luna didn't know. The painting was unremarkable at best, just another portrait of a mare. She shrugged internally. Perhaps this was a night for quiet contemplation.

"Sister!" Luna exclaimed. Celestia was dragged from her reverie and spun her elegant, regal head towards her. "I wish to... clear the air."

"Uncanny use of modern speech, milady," Silver said. Luna beamed with pride.

"Is this about Fancy?" Celestia asked, guessing Luna's intent without the need for words. "I assumed you would be somewhat confused."

"I am," Luna declared, squaring her stance. "Is it true that, in my absence, the nobility and royalty of Equestria have begun associating with peasants and commoners?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

"I was asking you, 'Tia."

Celestia nodded. "Then yes, this is true. Since... goodness, it must be five hundred years now."

Luna flared her wings. "In that case, we... I wholeheartedly approve of your union with Fancy 'Algernon' Pants." Luna held her head high. "I have a desire to be modern, and 'tis far more important to me that my sister shall enjoy herself, with or without my assistance." She became deadly serious. "However, we demand that you shall be available for fun at least once a week."

"...my 'union'?" Celestia asked. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Ah, of course. I remember now..."

"Milady, I should have also mentioned that courtship has a tendency to last far longer than one thousand years ago," Silver went on. "One doesn't ask for marriage after a few encounters any more."

Luna eyed her servant. "Yes, you should have mentioned." She turned back to her sister, watching the pair with an amused look in her eye. "I take it you follow my meaning nonetheless."

"I do. Thank you."

"I must also apologise for my behaviour at the exhibition: I was unclear as to Fancy's motives." She shifted her gaze to the side. "I am still not entirely certain, but I shall investigate the matter thoroughly," she added under her breath. "Tell me more about him. I would like to understand my own sister better."

Celestia smiled, the warmth in her gaze almost blowing Luna away. Her previous actions may as well have been forgotten. Celestia had a natural talent to forgive ponies and help them forgive themselves.

"He's... well, kind. Educated. A little sad, too, if you pay attention. He makes it his business to accept opinions and beliefs, even when he doesn't share them himself," Celestia explained. "I met him... It must have been at one of the Grand Galloping Gala's. He was very adept at mingling and manoeuvring the crowd, but what caught my attention was the conversations he had with Cadence. About books."

"Books." Luna looked unimpressed.

"Cadence was very learned in the classics. She assumed Fancy was as well... he does appear at a glance like a noble of that sort, but he surprised her and myself by referencing children's books. I believe it was for my benefit," Celestia went on. "He has a daughter, you see, and was recalling the stories he'd read to her. It reminded me a lot of when I was taking care of Cadence."

Luna remained stone-faced upon the mention of Fancy's daughter. Silver leaned towards her, almost imperceptibly. "It is also considered far more acceptable, milady, to remarry. It is not uncommon for ponies with children to find another partner."

"Yes, of course," Luna replied. "I assumed this to be the case, but thank you for your input."

Celestia chuckled at the exchange. "I paid more attention to him at further events after that."

"This Galloping Gala. Was it this years? With Twilight?"

"The one before that."

Luna widened her eyes. Silver leant back towards her. "Much longer courtships."

"I can tell, thank you."

"I'm not even certain there is anything there," Celestia said. "We're both very busy, and we only exchange a few pleasantries on occasion. I'm not convinced he even sees me in that light." She looked back at the portrait. "The nation comes first, as do all my little ponies. As Princess of Equestria, I'm not prepared to relieve myself of my duties because of a stallion. I believe Fancy knows this."

Luna nodded. "'Tis true, 'Tia, but now there are two Princesses of Equestria." Luna grinned. "And if I cannot help my sister be happy, then what good do I serve?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes as she followed Luna's meaning. "You wouldn't."

"I would!"

Celestia's voice almost became a growl. "You are not to meddle."

"I shall meddle, and you cannot stop me!" Luna exclaimed and cantered away. "Besides, I am fascinated by these modern times. So much is permitted, and so little is efficient. I shall understand more!"

And I shall understand you, sister.

She rounded the corner, leaving Celestia and Silver Cup alone in the corridor. The Princess turned to the butler. 

"You shall do your utmost to keep my sister from ruining my life," she instructed. "You know how excitable she is."

"I am fully aware, your Highness, although you must know that there is only so much in my power."