Actually, I'm Dead

by Magenta Cat


Chapter 3: Crawling from the Ashes

“What we got wasn’t blood at all.”

Dr. Stable waited several moments to see if any of the six ponies opposite him had anything to say on the matter, particularly Twilight or Fluttershy in their condition of scholar and veterinary respectively. When they didn’t appear forthcoming with anything, he moved on.

“We still don’t know what it was that we drew out of her. We tried a blood transfusion, but to the best of our knowledge, it proved ineffective. As did the rest of our techniques. It was only by the efforts of Zecora and Princess Celestia that Ms. Lulamoon’s condition is as good as it is.” He stopped again, waiting until one of the others had something to add.

“So, what did happen to her?” Rarity was the first to say anything.

“As I said before, it’s very difficult for me to explain.” He sighed deeply bowing his head to his chest to gather his thoughts. “The Alicorn Amulet is not only dark magic, but also very obscure dark magic. Besides that text from the library that Twilight provided, we couldn’t find anything else. Even the Princess herself was of limited help. As it was--”

“Will Trixie be okay?” asked Fluttershy without realizing she just interrupted somepony.

“All I can say right now is that we have her stabilized. Or at least as close to something as I would call stable for a pony in her condition. As far as I understand, Trixie now depends on having the Amulet on her at all times to be out of danger.”

“Hold on!” cried Rainbow Dash shaking her front hooves before her. “You’re telling us that, after all the problems we went through to get that thing off of her neck, you just gave it back to her?!”

“Dash’s right,” Applejack added, more calmly. “I reckon that it was the Amulet what caused her to go mad with power. We should be lookin’ for a way to take it off of her as soon as possible.”

“I’m afraid that it won’t be possible, Applejack,” a new voice joined them. From the main door, the imposingly tall and pristine white figure of Princess Celestia was making her way towards the reunited group. They all took a bow in respect, except for Dr. Stable, who remained in his chair but still inclined his head towards her.

“I assume you were explaining them the situation, Granary.” As usual, Celestia referred to her ponies, not as subjects, but as equals.

“I was doing my best, your majesty,” he faintly smiled. “But it’s hard to do when I don’t fully understand it either.”

“And having them interrupting every two sentences, surprisingly, doesn’t help matters,” Nurse Redheart added, taking tiredness a little worse than the doctor.

“You have already done your job here, Granary,” Celestia said in the same way a mother would address a child who did something good. “You and Redheart rest while I explain to my little ponies the rest of what transpired.” Taking their cue, both doctor and nurse walked out of the room together. After the door closed. Princess Celestia spoke again.

“As the doctor was saying, Applejack, taking the Alicorn Amulet from Trixie would not be only harmful to her, but it has become all but impossible.”

“WHAT!” The six friends exclaimed at the same time.

“I’m afraid so.” She leaned closer to them, sitting down to be at their eye level. “The good news is that at least we have found a way to contain the Alicorn Amulet’s corruption by placing a restraining ring on Trixie’s horn.”

“Of course,” Twilight said. “The corruption occurs through her magic. If she can’t access it, then the Amulet can’t corrupt her.” Everypony looked expectantly at the Princess, who confirmed the information with a nod.

“So, with all that, what will happen to Trixie?” Applejack wasn’t a pony who liked to beat around the bush. “Ah mean, after all she did.”

“That’s more complicated,” Celestia looked aside, as if wanting to avoid having this conversation. “Legally speaking, she’s only responsible for buying the Amulet, which is not a crime in itself. And since everything she did after that was under a spell, she’s not responsible for that.”

“No way!” Once again, Rainbow Dash was the most vocal. “Come! On! After all she did the last time and now this, are you going to let her walk away scot-free?!” Her five friends just stared in awe at her outburst, even if some of them agreed with the statement. As patient as a pony who had walked Equestria for centuries, the Princess didn’t even blink.

“I never said that.” This time though, her voice was much lower in tone. “But in the view of the latest events, it’s my personal judgement that she has already been punished enough.”

The room fell silent. The Princess’ grim tone, combined with declaring it her judgement, made the statement a very serious matter. Seeing as nopony was ready to ask yet, Celestia let herself sigh as any civilian pony would and resume her explanation in a more familiar tone.

“You see, what happened to Trixie is not only a very rare occurrence, but it’s also a terrible, terrible curse. Trixie has been placed in between states; she isn’t dead , but she’s not alive either.”

The silence stayed.


The once-Trixie was still lying down in the floor. She awoke long ago, too haunted by her own past to fall asleep but too scared of her present to do anything about it. Trapped in this contradiction she was, waiting for anything to happen. Maybe her captor would come back at some point, even if just to check if the freak was still strapped to the bed.

In another time, the once-Trixie would have tried to hide and escape. In an even older time, the real Trixie would have even tried to face her captors, showing them the huge mistake that was to cross the Great and Powerful. Even a few hours ago, Trixie would have burst her way out of the room and razed everything to the ground on her way to get back at whoever had put her in that situation.

But the past is in the past, and the once-Trixie was not the same pony anymore. She wasn’t even sure if she was still a pony. Without really knowing who, or what she was, the once-Trixie didn’t know what to do, so she took the only option left; lie down on the floor and hope for the best, or fear for the wors--

“No.”

It was the smallest of whispers, the softest of sounds, but to the the once-Trixie it was the loudest of declarations.

She opened her eyes. Not the lifeless orbs she saw in the mirror before, but two shiny stars, burning in determination. She forced some air into herself as if drinking.

“No. No, no, no,” she managed to say, just slightly louder than before.

The real Trixie would never let herself fall this low. She would have done all in her power to get back on her hooves. The once-Trixie rolled onto her front and planted her forehooves firmly on the floor. She used her mouth to force out the air inside her.

“Hay no!”

It was a curse she spat at the cold floor with as much venom as she could muster. Magic or none, the real Trixie would have a plan already. The once-Trixie pressed down on her forehooves, lifting herself. The real Trixie would not remain curled up on the floor like some frightened foal.

"I am roani! We do not lie down for anypony!"

She reached up her hoof and grabbed the sink, pulling herself upright. She hung on with both hooves and glared at the abomination in the mirror. The abomination's dead eyes looked back at hers, its lip curled in a sneer that mimicked her own. The once-Trixie lowered her gaze to the Amulet still encrusted in her chest, its ruby center glowing with a faint and malevolent light.

"I am Trixie Silverlight Lulamoon, daughter of Hope Pearlshine Lulamoon. I am the Great and Powerful. I have faced worse than you. I will beat you, too."

It would be a pleasant day in the nine circles of hell before the real Trixie Lulamoon gave up. While the once-Trixie could stay in that bathroom choking on her own problems, the real Trixie would get out of it, ready to fight the world if necessary. There would be a proper time to ponder what happened to her and how to solve it, but there were other priorities first.

Trixie looked down at her foreleg. The black, dead blood had not stopped seeping from its ragged wound. In fact, the fall had made it worse, smearing the blood all over the leg and along her side and barrel. She pressed her other hoof over the wound, pulling the leg up to her chest to try and stop the bleeding. She had just started looking around for something to wrap it with when the door clicked open and a group of ponies trotted into the room.

Twilight, Princess Celestia, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy all came in the room. While they were quick to notice the cast off restraints, all seven froze when they turned and saw the room's occupant behind them. Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Pinkie Pie, but the rest just stood and gaped, too stunned for anything else.

Straightening her back, her regal manners reasserting themselves, Trixie calmly addressed the group of ponies. "Could somepony please fetch Trixie a bandage?"

Rarity screamed and fainted.