//------------------------------//
// Coming home 
// Story: Coming home 
// by P-Berry 
//------------------------------//

It was late afternoon when I finally arrived at my apartment. I had planned to be back from shopping a few hours ago, but a notoriously talkative friend of mine whom I had met at the parking lot and a nerve-wrecking traffic jam on the freeway hadn’t seemed too impressed by my plans.

I let out a weak sigh as I reached into the trunk of my car, retrieving two bulging shopping bags. A weak gasp escaped my lips as I lifted the bags out of my car and dropped them onto the road next to me.

Surely, she wouldn’t mind that I was late. This wasn’t the first time. I had been late before, right? And she didn’t seem to care back then. Well, she did knock over a glass of water, but that could have just as well been an accident … right?

Still, back then I had been late for maybe ten or fifteen minutes, and gone for no longer than an hour. Now I was at least three hours late, meaning that she had been locked inside my apartment for the better half of the afternoon.

But I quickly fought back my worries – she was a good pony. Well-educated and knowing how to behave when I wasn’t home, why should a few hours of being alone change that?

Despite that, I noticed how my step was a little faster than usual was I walked up to the front door of my home, quickly setting down the shopping bags to reach into my pocket and retrieve my keys.

I could’ve sworn I heard music coming from somewhere around me as I turned my head and looked over my shoulder, checking the street for possible sources of sound.

Nothing.

I shook my head, instead focusing on the key in my hand. I led it up to the lock, then unlocked the door and stepped into my apartment in one swift motion.

My eyes widened to an almost unnatural extent.

My mother had announced that she’d pay me a visit sometime soon, so I had spent most of the day before cleaning up – taking out the long overdue trash, awakening my vacuum cleaner from its hibernation, and thoroughly wiping the floor in all four of my apartment’s rooms.

Now, however, my apartment looked even worse than the day before. The smell of burnt food flooded my nostrils, my shoes –and socks, consequently- were soaked within mere seconds from a noticeably thick layer of water which –as far as I could see- covered most of my apartment’s hallway-floor, and the sound of an intense metal-song being played at an unreasonably high volume filled my ears.

Taking in a deep breath of the sticky air, I fought down the voice in my head that told me to break into a fit of panic, which would soon be replaced by a seething anger directed at the causer of the mess in front of me. 

But I remained calm, resisting the desire to lose my mind about things I couldn’t change anyway.

Instead, I carefully placed the shopping bags in front of the entrance door where they would remain dry, then took off my jacket, throwing it on top of the shopping bags, and stepped back into the chaos that had once been my home.

Deciding that it probably was best to get an idea of the damage before doing anything else, I turned to the right and stepped into my bathroom, my feet making squelching sounds every time they touched the flooded ground.

As soon as I passed the open door, my look fell onto my bathtub, which quite obviously was the origin of the biblical flood in the hallway – the drain appeared to be clogged up by something that looked like a severely chewed-up version of the expensive dress shoe I had bought a couple of months ago; the faucet was turned up to the maximum, resulting in a small waterfall forming at one side of the tub and making the excessive water rain down onto the white tiles.

I remained silent, reacting only with a weak sigh as I stepped forward and turned the water off before looking at my ruined shoe at the bottom of the tub, thinking of those 200 dollars literally going down the drain.

I wanted to reach into the water to remove the shoe, but stopped myself as my hand broke through the surface, not only because the water was moderately cold. I reflected for a moment, then pulled my hand back – I might actually have a use for that water later on.

Turning around and taking a look around the bathroom to search for further damage, I saw that the sink was leaking water as well, this drain being clogged up by –surprise, surprise!- one half of the new pair of gym shoes I had bought last Saturday, which was in a condition comparable to that of my dress shoe, only that it looked more torn apart and less chewed-up.

After un-clogging the sink and throwing the dripping shoe-carcass into my bathroom’s trash bin –I swore I was going to present her a bill for what she had cost me so far, even though I knew she had no money- and making sure all damage had been taken care of –she had, thankfully, spared the toilet- I left the bathroom and stepped back into the hallway.

My living room would be my next aim. After crossing the hallway with a few big, wet steps –the person, or rather pony, responsible for this mess had not yet shown herself- I entered the room, my look instantly falling onto my sofa.

Surprisingly enough, it hadn’t suffered too much damage – the pillows were messed-up, one had been torn apart entirely, and the sofa itself revealed to have a couple of bite marks, but after seeing the mess in the bathroom, I would have expected its overall condition to be a lot worse.

Moving on, my look wandered over to my television, which –as I noticed by then- was the origin of the loud music I had heard from the street. It had been tilted to the side, balancing on the edge of the shelf it was normally standing on; the screen had a major crack in it, yet still managed to display the last few seconds of a music video before fading into a commercial break.

Seeing that the damage here wasn’t too urgent to be fixed -I would send her an invoice for the TV and pillow; she would just have to find the money, damnit!- I turned around and left the room, only now noticing that the door had been unhinged and was now merely leaning against the wall, not to mention the approximately hoof-sized hole that had been punched into its middle.

I blankly stared at the door for a few moments before shaking my head and passing through the now empty doorframe. “Never underestimate what a magical flying horse is capable of.” I muttered to myself as I entered the lake that had once been my hallway and waded over into my kitchen.

I noticed the scent of burnt food yet again as I stepped through the door, the smoking pan on the stove instantly catching my attention and sending a shot of adrenaline through my veins. After hurrying over to it and making sure the stove was turned off –it had been turned off some time ago- I cast a slightly confused look into the pan.

Only god knows how roasting an Italian leather shoe is supposed to make it more palatable, and I doubted that mixing it with a fried egg and a chunk of coffee beans would do any good to the taste, but I remembered her having a rather odd taste in food, so my surprise at the sight inside the frying pan was rather moderate.

I turned around to look at my refrigerator – keeping the contents of the frying pan in mind, I wasn’t too surprised to see it completely devoid of its contents, most of said contents lying on the flooded floor in front of my feet. With a sigh, I closed the fridge’s door to look at the rest of my kitchen – unsurprisingly, the floor was a mess. What had once been in the fridge and wasn’t lying right in front of it or in the frying pan was spread out all across the floor, making for what looked like a colorful carpet made of a rainbow of contents.

Letting my gaze wander over the remains of my kitchen for a moment and noticing with relief that at least most of my plates had been spared, I then turned around to head for the last remaining room where I expected the culprit to be hiding in – my bedroom.

Just like the rest of my apartment, it was a mess – one might think that I had been burglarized, looking at the way most of my closet’s content was strewn all across the floor; the carpet had been torn up in one corner of the room, and the curtain was hanging in an unnatural 45-degree angle, yet the most noticeable change was my bed itself. The bed sheets were lying spread out in front of my feet; the mattress had been erected, standing upright while leaning against the wall next to my bed and so blocking out my view on a good quarter of the room.

It didn’t need a rocket scientist to know what –or better who- was using the other side of the mattress as a hiding spot, yet I decided that I didn’t want to make it too easy for her.

I took a moment to look around the room again. “Well,” I said in an unnecessarily high volume, making sure she would hear me, “looks like Flitter isn’t here. Guess I’ll just be on my way, then.”

I turned around and stamped out of the room, once again making sure she would hear me, before passing a corner and hiding behind the doorframe that led into my living room.

And sure enough, I could hear the sound of hooves softly sneaking over the flooded tiles only moments after – the malefactor had left her hiding spot. I waited until I saw her appear in the doorway, then dived out and pounced onto the little pony.

“Gotcha!”

Her eyes widened in horror as she saw me coming; her wings spread out in an attempt to escape, but it was too late.

Letting out a grunt of satisfaction, I got a hold of her small body before crashing onto the floor next to her. The crash sent the air right out of my lungs, but I ignored the lingering pain in my stomach as I got back to my feet, holding the struggling pegasus tightly with my two hands.

“N-nuh! Nuh! Lemme go! Lemme go!” she squealed and squirmed in an attempt to escape my grip.

I only replied with a muffled grunt as I fought with the bluish mare, turning her around so that her back was facing me and firmly locking my hands around her torso including her wings – a position that, as I had once been told, was used to keep chickens under control, but apparently worked for pegasi as well.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryokay?” she continued to struggle against my grip, but to no avail, “Lemmego! Lemmegoplease!”

“Just what do you think you were doing?” I asked her reproachfully, tightening my grip around her body to stop her struggling, but making sure it wouldn’t hurt her.

“I … I wanted to…” she fidgeted again, “to … ungh…”

“To what?” I snarled at her, “Mess up my … our home? Flood the whole neighborhood? Set the house on fire? Congratulations, you’ve almost managed to do all three of them.”

“N-no, I…” her body seemed to deflate as she saw the hopelessness of her current situation, “I … I…”

“Look…” I slightly loosened my grip around her body and turned her around, making her look me in the eyes, “I told you that I’d be back soon and that you should behave. What was so hard to understand about that?”

Her raspberry eyes went to the side, looking genuinely guilty, “I … I’m sorry.”

“You better be!” I barked at her before setting her down on the wet floor, gaining a light ‘eek’ from her as her hooves touched the cold water. “Just look at this mess!” I said and pointed at the floor.

Flitter lowered her head in shame, muttering something only the ground could hear.

It was by then that I noticed her vile appearance – her turquoise mane which had been neatly groomed and shiny before I had left was ruffled-up and had several chunks of ‘I don’t want to know what it is’ sticking to it; the pink bow in it was out of place, hanging in a slightly tilted angle on top of her head, and had several stains on it. Her fur … oh lord, her fur. If I hadn’t known better I would’ve said I was looking at the coat of a stray cat – it was unkempt, sticky and stained with several different things I thought I had last seen in my fridge.

“Just … what were you thinking?” I asked, now more with confusion rather than legitimate anger, struggling to keep my mouth from hanging open from the sheer sight of the once so pretty pegasus.

“I … you…” she looked up at me with tears welling up in her big puppy eyes, “You didn’t come back and I … I kinda just … got hungry and...” she looked to the ground, sobbing at a clearly noticeable volume.

But she wouldn’t talk herself out of this that easily. “So you tried to make yourself some food.” I said dryly, more of an accusation than an actual question.

Flitter looked up at me, still sobbing, and slowly nodded her head.

“By frying my shoe.” I continued, “And chewing up the other one.” I raised an eyebrow, “That doesn’t sound too tasty.”

Still with tears in her eyes, Flitter shook her head with a look of disgust on her face, her ruffled-up mane shaking slightly. “It didn’t.”

“So, upon realizing that shoes don’t taste extraordinarily good, you did what again?” I continued my interrogation, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I, uh…” she looked to the side guiltily, “I wanted to watch some TV, but the … this stupid remote didn’t seem to work. I couldn’t watch anything other than those weird music videos.”

“Maybe because remote controls designed for hands are a little hard to control with hooves?” I said to myself, but allowed Flitter to continue explaining herself, her voice quavering ever so slightly.

“So I thought maybe I should take a bath to calm my nerves.” She looked over her shoulder, casting a guilty glance at the still flooded bathroom, “But something just, uh … went wrong.”

While I was curious to hear just how many things one could screw up while trying to take a bath, I was still mad at Flitter, which is why I fought back my curiosity and instead asked, “And what exactly happened then?”

A light blush appeared on Flitter’s face as her look went back to the side again; the frown on her face turned into a weak, visibly embarrassed grin as she said, “I, uh, might have gotten a little … frustrated after that. … I mean, I was beginning to think that you may have left me here and wouldn’t return … ever.”

“Which is why you decided to clog up my bathtub, flood my entire apartment, chew at my couch, break my TV, mess up my bedroom, and hide behind my bed for when I would return.” I continued to tell her my assumption, “Knowing that I would be mad at you.”

“Hehe, uh … maybe?” Her look shot back up to me, her desperate eyes pleading with me, “Really, I’m sorry! Please don’t kick me out!”

I looked down at her with a reproachful look, but remained silent, only making her more nervous.

“I’ll help you clean up, I promise!” she offered me with shining eyes, “We’ll have the place neat and tidy again before sunset!”

Still, I didn’t reply, knowing that I was the one holding the whip hand.

“I-I mean … I’ll clean it up! All by myself! Without your help!” she gave me a pleading smile, “You won’t have to move a muscle!”

I gave an unimpressed grunt, “Hrm. You can bet your feathery flank that you’ll clean up this mess up all by yourself.”

Flitter replied with a hasty nod, but remained silent, seeing that I wasn’t done yet.

I hesitated for a moment, saying nothing as the look of reproach on my face then turned into an encouraging smile, “But first I got something for you.”

Flitter’s face lightened up noticeably as she looked up at me, “Really? What is it?” she asked with newfound happiness, the regret she must have been feeling moments ago having vanished in an instant.

“A present; a surprise present.” I said with a friendly smile, crouching to the ground and holding up my arms for her, “Come here and I’ll show it to you.”

The pegasus didn’t hesitate for one second, her face beaming with excitement as she jumped into my hands and I closed my arms around her, holding her on my arm like a baby.

Letting out a light squeal of excitement as I got back up, she cooed, “Oh my, a present? For me? After all I’ve done?” she flung her forelegs around my neck in a thankful hug, causing her sticky fur to add a couple of new colors to my once pearly white shirt, “Aww, that’s so sweet of you!”

I only replied with a silent shrug, a content smile on my face as I stopped in front of the bathroom door and looked at the pony in my arms. 

“Alright, we’re almost there. I need you to close your eyes and not open them before I tell you to.” I told her firmly.

Flitter obeyed unhesitatingly, pinching her eyes close with an anticipative smile on her face.

“And one more thing,” I continued, unable to keep myself from smiling either now that she couldn’t see me, “For your surprise to have the full effect, you need to keep your wings closed. Just … let yourself drop. Trust me, you’ll be safe.” I said with a smile.

“Alright.” Flitter replied briefly, still dutifully keeping her eyes shut, “Can we begin?”

I nodded, “Sure.”

I entered the bathroom with Flitter on my arm, then stopped in front of the tub which was still filled to the brim with cool water. For a moment, I hesitated, wondering if this was the right thing to do, seeing as how Flitter was utterly helpless at this point and definitely not expecting what I was about to do.

I lowered my head, looking at the pony in my arms, then cast a look over my shoulder at the utter chaos in my apartment.  After a brief pause, I shook my head. “…Nah, she’ll be fine.”

Besides, her coat was still stained with butter, milk, jelly, and just about anything else that had been in my fridge, so she needed a bath anyway – the sooner the better.

And of course, I would give her a proper, warm bath once she had recovered from the shock, and I would –naturally- help her clean up the mess she had caused – that was a given, at least for me.

Nevertheless, this wasn’t the time for reconciliations; this was the time for sweet, ice cold revenge.

Feeling how a big, evil grin formed on my face, I moved the pegasus away from my body, holding her with two hands placed firmly underneath her forelegs, a little more than one foot above the surface. I could see that she was insecure, but she still kept her eyes shut, and the anticipative smile had not yet left her face.

“Flitter?” I said softly.

“Yes?” the pegasus replied excitedly.

Holding back a giggle of sweet justice, I swiftly loosened my grip around her body and hastily pulled my hands back. She couldn’t even squeal as she slipped out of my hands and dropped down into the water.

“Surprise!”