//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Trollestia "Plays" with Blueblood // Story: Celestial Disposition // by Kitsulestia //------------------------------// “You do realize, that if you showed the castle staff some respect, they would respect you in turn?” I suggested as we trotted along the halls of the castle. “Me? Respect dirt like them?” He seemed about to go on a tangent, but I spoke up to cut him off. “Yes. You really should, because with an attitude like that, you’re lower than dirt.” I insisted aggressively. “Someday, somepony's going to snap, and smack some sense into if you keep it up.” I warned, looking as serious as I could without being too frightening. “And when it does happen, I’ll be right there laughing my flank off, and saying ‘I told you so.’” Blueblood huffed in outrage, but didn’t talk back. I smirked, seeing that he was learning. “So, I figure it’s about time I get acquainted with Tia’s life. Where do we start?” I asked. At that moment, my reset to default spell ticked out, and my makeup and mane style was back. The moment happened to be another one of those moments where the universe works well with you for just the perfect timing. I was just about to cancel out the spell myself! Bluey froze up in surprise, a little shocked from the sudden different appearance. “Wait, you aren’t the real one!” He pointed an accusatory hoof at me. I rolled my eyes at that. “Well duh. You think she’d skip out on an important meeting and leave a faker who knows rather little about politics to do her work for her? I’m putting you in line for her so you aren’t such a problem. Think of me as the foalsitter.” I returned. “Foalsitter?!” he cried, absolutely outraged. “I’m no foal, you stupid fake!” In response to the insult, I gave him a very intimidating glare, amplified by the makeup. “You certainly act it. Now shut up with the insults, or I’ll do more than scare the shit out of you.” I threatened. Bluey recoiled in fear and shut up faster than you could say poppycock. “I’m sorry!” He blurted out. He then squeaked out a feeble “please don’t hurt me.” I intensified my glare. “Say it and mean it.” I ordered. I didn’t want empty words from this brat. I wanted him to be an honest, caring guy like me. I let Blueblood gather his wits, but when he took too long to respond, I started up my horn for a spell for added intimidation. “I’m sorry, auntie Celly. Please forgive me…” he whimpered. This time, I heard the sincerity, and I went right back to my happy-go-lucky attitude. With a smile, I patted him on the head. “Thank you. That’s all I wanted from that.” I said like a pleased mother. “Now come along. I’m sure you’ve got a busy day, and I’ve got nothing better to do.” I said, ushering him along the hall we’d been trotting. I slowed down with a little smile as I saw how well my parent’s tactics worked on him. Huh. Guess their methods have some merit after all. Sorry I fought against you guys like I did… I thought. I knew they wouldn’t hear me, but I figured it’s at least the thought that counts. As we trotted through the halls, guards gawked at my appearance, but I noticed there seemed to be more than usual where we were going. I waited to find out where we were going, and my patience was rewarded with a visit to the Guard Barracks. Shining Armor was there, talking to new recruits. Once again, I exercised my patience rather than let my fanboy interrupt him. I stayed out of sight of the recruits too. Aparently I didn’t have to worry. The captain was already finishing up. The recruits went to their posts as Shining Armor left them and met up with us. “I see you’ve got the new recruits under control.” Blueblood went into a stoic professional mode I’d not imagined him capable of. I raised an eyebrow at this, since I fully expected him to just sit there and insult Shining. I guess there’s some real respect between them. “That I… Uh… What?” Shining Armor trailed off when he saw me. I gave a bright smile and a wave. “Hi there! You must be Captain Armor. My name is James Solaris, but you can call me Celly!” I greeted him. He stared for a second before his eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh! You must be that copy my men have been telling me about. I must admit, it’s a bit strange seeing somepony that looks so much like the princess but acts nothing like her.” He said. I just giggled lightly. If everyone was going to accept there being a second Celestia, albit with a different personality, this would go quite smoothly. I’m still gonna have to wear that dress when I go out, though. I don’t want to get ponies freaking out and getting news wrong because of mistaken identity. “Man, Twi’s gonna freak when she sees you…” Shining Armor snapped me out of my musings. “Wait, she’s coming to visit?” I asked, caught by surprise at this news. He nods. “Yeah, the princess was planning on calling her and her friends over to meet you after her meeting. Fair warning, I’ve heard rumors of the pink one doing things that should be impossible.” Shining said. I set my face into an amused grin nodding at that. “Oh, I already know of the Pink One. And it’s quite likely she already knows of me.” I said, earning a confused look from Shining and Bluey. “What? Is it really that odd Considering you know who was involved in my appearance?” “Who are you talking about? I don’t know anything about that.” Blueblood said in a way that told me he knew exactly what we were talking about. “Reaaally now?” I said as I raised an eyebrow. “Did Discord wipe your mind too, Blue? I’m pretty sure you were one of the first he got. Didn’t he make you a mare?” Shining said oblivious to my pranksters nature. “Oh, did he now, Bluebelle? Did you feel… pretty?” I said with a sly look. Bluebelle facehoofed and Shining Armor had a look of sudden realization as he processed what I just said. “Oh shit…” He started trying to hide his laughter as he apologised. “I’m so sorry, Blue. I forgot this wasn’t Celestia.” “At least you didn’t become the wrong gender!” Bluey shouted at us. I laughed when he said that. “Let me tell you something. I’ve been the wrong gender, and species for a year now.” I said with a smirk. “And I happen to like it.” “Oh, buck you.” He waved me away with a very sour look. Sorry Bluey, but I gotta say now that you’ve set yourself up for it. “I’ll pass on that offer, you’re not my type.” I retorted. SA just burst out laughing from that, making Bluey blush redder than Big Mac. “I’d never even consider such an abhorrent thought! What do you take me for, a horny fool?” “You set yourself up for that one.” I grinned. “Of course I wasn’t going to let opportunity go to waste.” Blue gave me a sharp glare. “I don’t think I like this Celly…” He muttered to SA. “Look, if it bothers you that much, I won’t speak of it again.” I offered. “Contrary to what you might think, I know when I’ve taken things too far.” Blue looked a bit surprised at that and SA sent me an approving look. “Now, who’s next?” I asked Blueblood. He shook out of his daze to focus on the task at hoof. “Next is the head of the cleaning department. Clean Sweep.” He said, reciting his schedule from memory. “What's she like?” I asked. No sooner had those words left my mouth than I realized I’d just set myself up. “I doubt she’d be very into you. She’s straight, last I checked.” Blue replied with an attitude. “Yeah, I pretty much set myself up for that… I’ve still got the lead though.” I said, brushing off his comment. “Now, in all seriousness, what’s she like? I doubt anyone back home has ever heard of her.” “She’s just a few halls down this way. You can ask her yourself.” He said in reply. “Well? what are we waiting for? Lets go!” I Dragged Bluey along as I skipped cheerfully down the hall. As I golloped down the halls, I wondered if I should reenact Celestia’s banana song… But where would I get a banana costume? Maybe I should ask Clean Sweep. She probably organises where to put things like that. “Wait! We just ran past her!” Blue’s yell caught my attention. I then trotted in reverse, dragging him across the floor. I peeked into the room we just passed, spying a brownish yellow mare. “Oh hi there!” I waved while grinning like an over excited five year old. She froze when she saw me. “What… Celestia, what the hay did you… No, there’s no way you can be Celestia. You’re a changeling, aren’t you!” She accused. I shrugged. Wait… How does she know what a changeling is if the wedding hasn’t happened yet? “I’m a fake, but I’m no bug. I’m a bit curious as to how you know about them though.” I said, subtly turning the accusation back on her. “I saw Discord messing with one while teasing it.” She said. I knew changelings were good liars, but I was one too. I saw through that one. “I asked how you knew ABOUT them. Not where you saw one.” I countered. She gulped as I advanced on her. “So just stop lying and spit it out.” “I’m not lying!” She insisted. I chuckled and shook my head at her. “Please. You might be a good liar, but I’m better.” I pressed. “Am I missing something?” Blueblood asked in confusion. I didn’t make the mistake of taking my eyes off of Sweep. “Yeah. I’m apparently not the only fake around here.” I told him. “I have a sneaking suspicion that Clean Sweep here isn’t really a pony. I’ve personally got no problem with that, and I’m sure noone else does either. As long as you don’t try launching an invasion on Equestria anyway.” “R-really?” She asked with a hopeful smile. “Yeah! I mean come on! You guys get shapeshifting powers. How cool is that!” I praised the changelings with a smile. Squee! What was that? Did I just squee? “...Say what? You mean you don’t hate me for what I am?” Clean Sweep asked incredulously. Bingo! She just admitted it! “Of course not! It’s my belief that you must judge the individual for their own actions, rather than that of their kind. Oh, and if you happen to see Queen Chrysalis, tell her the Crystal Empire’s coming back. She’s gonna love that news… assuming she knows what it is. Can I hug you?” “Uh…” Oh, crap. I hate it when this happens. I ended up giving her too much. I’ll just focus on that last one for now. “Is that a yes?” I asked. The changeling just stared at me, it’s eye twitching. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I then hugged her. She was snapped out of it, and dropped her disguise from being shocked. I felt the wave of fire, and didn’t even bat an eye. “...How are you not on fire?” She asked, surprised. “I’m basically the sun. Nothing outside of my emotions will change my temperature.” I explained. “What the buck just happened?” Blueblood asked in complete confusion. I held a hoof up to Blue in a “just a second” gesture. “So, Sweep. You part of Queen Chrysalis’s swarm?” I asked, just to clarify. “No, I’m on my own.” “Just to clarify. Was there ever an actual Clean Sweep, or did you make that alias up?” “It’s my own. Its so much easier when you don’t have to constantly check up on the pony you’re replacing… and why am I telling you this?” “Calming aura. A passive effect of being Celestia, I suppose. I don’t control it but it’s convenient for getting along in conversations.” “Just… what the buck!?” Blueblood was still trying to comprehend how the head of the cleaning staff was a bug pony, and it wasn’t going over for him very well. I turned to him with a bit of a grin. “If you think this is confusing, just wait till you see Celestia’s Banana Song.” I told him. “What.” was both Blueblood’s and Sweeps synchronized responses. “Get me a banana suit, and I can show you what I’m talking about.” “I… I think i’ve had enough crazy for today…” Blueblood slowly backed out of the room. I was about to go with him, but then a guard nearly ran over him. “My apologies, Prince Blueblood. I’m looking for Celly. The princess has sent for her.” “Thank Celestia!” He shouted. then he dashed off, basically noping the hell out of there. I waved at the guard when her turned around in confusion, with the changeling still in my embrace. “What…” The guard had a look that told me, he had lost the ability to even. “Just… Why are you holding that?” “Because she’s lonely, and awesome, and so huggable!” I answered, hugging Sweep a bit tighter. “Shapeshifters are awesome!” “Help.” she begged. “I didn’t ask for this!” The guard sighed and gestured for me to come with him. “Come on, Celly. The Elements are here, and Celestia wants you to meet them.” He said. I set Sweep down and pat her shoulders. “Alright, you go ahead and get back to work. I’m gonna go see what the Mane 6 are like.” I said, bidding her farewell. I trotted on after the guard, not really antagonizing him like I did pretty much everyone else. I was finally getting to meet the elements!