//------------------------------//
// A surprising mare 
// Story: Luna's personal guard 
// by Wonder 
//------------------------------//

"Please Tia, can I please have one? I promise I'll take care of it." Luna jumped on the spot while she begged her sister. Celestia rolled her eyes. She hadn't seen her sister this excited since she was a filly. It was just past five in the afternoon at Canterlot castle, and already Luna was up and about, pestering Celestia for the twelfth time this week. A surprising large number, seeing as it was only Tuesday.

"You already have enough guards, why would you need a personal guard." Celestia sighed. "I'm pretty sure you can make do without you're own personal guard."

"But everyone else has one. Blue Blood has one. So does Cadance. Even Fancy Pants has a personal guard and he isn't even royalty." Luna whined. "It's only fair that I get one."

"He doesn't have a personal guard, he has a body guard. There is a big difference." Celestia had explained this to her sister already but Luna was persistent, bordering on ignorant.

"This is so unfair. Why do you get one and not me?" 

Celestia rubbed the bridge of her muzzle. "Having a personal guard is a big responsibility. You have to train them, feed them and make sure they stay out of trouble. It's not an easy job." Celestia spoke from personal experience.

"What if I choose one from the royal guard? Then it won't have to be trained." Traditionally personal guards were raised to serve royalty. While not impossible in modern society, it was quite difficult to find a suitable candidate. It was rare for guards to raise their young in the military a century ago, now it was practically unheard of. Cadance herself had to break tradition in order to receive her guard.

"I... suppose, but-" Celestia had to admit, her sister had made a good point but that still didn't mean it was an easy job. 

"So I can get one!?" Luna's face lit up like a hearths warming tree. Celestia's face darkened. Perhaps that was a poor choice of words. Well, she couldn't back out now. Once Luna saw hesitation, she wouldn't stop until she had won.

"If you think you can take care of it and keep it out of trouble, then I guess there is no harm in it." Celestia smiled at her sister, but it was dwarfed by Luna's smile, which somehow continued past her face. Even Pinkie Pie would be envious of such a smile. 





Meanwhile in Ponyville, a bright pink baker bounced upside-down three times, barked like a fish and flopped onto the floor. The normally happy mare narrowed her eyes and glared towards where she assumed the camera was and glowed. "Challenge accepted."





Celestia almost fell over as Luna tackled her, gripping her sister in a vice-like hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She nuzzled her sister's neck affectionately. "Oh, thank you so much!"

"Luna, I need to b-breathe." Celestia wheezed, tapping Luna's shoulder to get her attention. Luna reluctantly let go of her sister before running off. 

"You won't regret this, sis!" Luna yelled over her shoulder before turning a corner.

"Why do I get the feeling that I will?" Celestia chuckled before walking off to the kitchens. She didn't know why but she suddenly had a craving for cake. She usually stayed away from such things. she didn't want to get fat after all. Well... there was that one time where she went a bit overboard but how was she supposed to know they was a cameramare spying on her? While Celestia's mind was elsewhere, Luna was galloping towards the royal guard barracks, her mind filled with the happiness of a thousand fillies. Finally, she would have her own personal guard.





The Canterlot barracks were pretty standard. It consisted of four rooms on the first floor and a large shared sleeping quarters on the second story. The front door opened into a large main room with a few tables scattered around the place. The tables were mainly used for card games and on occasion, dancing. Scattered around the foyer along the walls were a few weapon stands, but they were mostly for show. Since the barrack's foyer was technically open to the public, the weapons in the racks were ornamental. 

Left of the barrack's entry was a smaller room for storing personal belongings. In addition there was also a back room, adjacent to the front door, where ponies and batponies could... relieve themselves. Finally on the far right, there was another large room, though not as large as the main foyer, where all he enchanted armour and weapons where stored. The real stuff, not the fancy stuff like in the foyer. There was rarely any violence in Canterlot so most of the weapons were only used for training.

The barracks were full of batponies this time of day, ironically. Unlike the royal guard ponies, batponies tended to be more relaxed and favoured playing games and given the choice would play tag instead of standing guard. Around a few of the tables, groups of batponies were telling jokes and generally having a good time. Another way batponies differed from their guard pony equivalents, is the fact that they mostly consisted of mares, which means around certain times of the year, made it very dangerous to be a male guard, especially in the barracks. But that's another story for another time. 

Soon their shifts would start, so they had to be wide awake, even if that did mean losing a few hours of sleep. A few of the guards were already adorning their armour, signalling that it was time to begin another boring night, or so they thought. Even if they were fully awake, none of them would have been prepared for what happened next. It may have just been a case of terrible luck, actually it was more like the universe had decided to royally screw him, but Nightshade had chosen that particular day to sit at the table next to the barracks entrance. So when the front door exploded off it's hinges, along with part of the wall, he was flung across the room and right into the toilet. Not into the toilet room, I mean Right. Into. The toilet.

Many of the ponies near the door dived for cover, hoping to evade whatever had attacked the barracks. The batponies that were relaxing up until then flew in to action and got into their battle stances. The few guards that were in already armour drew their weapons, prepared to face whatever was brave enough to launch an assault on their barracks, only to find it was their boss who had caused the... mayhem seemed like an understatement. Many of the guards shared confused looks with each other, not sure what to think.

Without warning, Luna leaped onto on of the guards near the door, examining them all over, all the while grinning like a school filly. "Oh, who will I choose? Who will it be? This is going to be so much fun!" With each word, Luna was holding another batpony excitedly. One moment she was at the front door, next she was at the corner table, then off to another innocent batpony. Each one as surprised as the last that their princess was practically snuggling then. "Oh, you're cute." She said, pinching one mare's cheeks, who was blushing profusely.

Now, some may call it rotten luck, others may call it bad timing, but every single batpony in the barracks, and I mean every batpony, in the barracks called it divine intervention. It was as if Celestia herself had willed it. Don't get them wrong, Luna was their favourite princess, but this was just getting weird. But it was at that exact moment that Breeze decided to waltz into the room.

"Hey guys. What did I miss?" She only just finished her sentence when Princess Luna tackled her to the ground. Luna placed her hooves on Breeze's cheeks and looked over her entire body. "I'm flattered your highness, but it's a bit early for this isn't it?" She chuckled. The rest of the batponies facehoofed. Of course she would make  sex joke to the princess. Luna either didn't hear her, or was just ignoring her and continued to examine the mare which she was currently straddling. The scene actually looked extremely... compromising, to say the least. "Um, princess? You're kind of," She coughed, slightly embarrassed. "arousing me." Everypony offered her a silent prayer, hoping her death would be quick. Breeze could be unorthodox, even rude at times, but this was on a whole new level.

"You'll be perfect." Everyponies jaw hit the ground. 'What the hay is she talking about?!' was the thought that ran through most of their heads. Without another word Luna left, leaving over one-hundred and twenty batponies completely and utterly bewildered. Every single one of them was staring directly at Breeze wondering what had just happened, and Breeze in her finite wisdom decided to speak again. "You hear that!? I'm gonna get laid!" She was then tackled by over half of the mares there. Some in jealously, the rest just wanting to shut her up.