The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum (The Original)

by Sledge115

Love and Hate

“You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.”
– Jodi Picoult

“Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.”
– L.M. Montgomery

One of the first things Stephan had done in Canterlot was to confirm that, like any military, the local EUP forces had a barracks system compatible with the UN forces that would be sharing quarters with the native pony guards. That required separate messes for the Enlisted troops, Noncommissioned Officers and Officers. Although some units, like the Wonderbolts, operated under their own unique billeting system, he’d found that his hunch proved true. But his first gander at the Enlisted Mess had blown every mess hall he’d seen away, and a few fancy restaurants such as the Berlin Hilton, too. He’d actually been afraid to check out the senior messes after that, though he’d heard persistent rumors of twenty-ton geode communal bathtubs.

In New New York, however, things were a little different. Starting from scratch, he’d had to make sure the troops had someplace to go after their shifts. More importantly, he needed his own place to go take a drink in peace, away from all matters military. Despite that need, he’d been wary of frequenting civilian bars, until several other members of the PHL wore him down with recommendations. After all, this was still the ‘City that Never Sleeps’, and Discord had been busy making copies of the various hangouts that dotted the urban sprawl.

So here he was on a Friday night, in a bar named the Sputeyn Duyvil run by a very nice unicorn mare named Grape Shines – one of many civilians to set up shop in the new city once it opened up to the public – and on his third drink, which was half a liter of beer. As a good German, he judged an establishment by the quality of its Pilsner, and consequently ordered nothing but since arriving. It was his custom upon sampling a new ‘joint’, and if the place won his approval, he might try some of the more exotic drinks options. Discord had made good on his promise, as most of the drinks were based on recipes from home, including those rendered priceless by the Barrier’s advance.

“Seat taken?”

Stephan turned to see Marcus pointing at the stool beside his, looking somewhat worse for wear. While Stephan shook his head and took another swig of his drink, Marcus sat down and winked at the barmare. No matter what one may think, the Marine was very respectable to women and mares alike. Stephan knew Marcus would never stray from Cheerilee, but that ‘country boy’ charm was a winner, as some ladies of the PHL could vouch, he knew.

Not that it made Stephan jealous. When in disguise, Trixie had informed him about the fantasies girls came up with. Either that, or when she was drunk enough for her tongue to start wagging. Anyway, his mind was more focused on booze right now. The minotaurs and griffons had suggested he try their stuff, and he had to admit, there was a certain sweet temptation in a draught tap marked Ovid’s Bullock. But he was saving all that good stuff for the big party. When had he last been to one of those? Ah, yes. The day of his graduation from the academy…

Grape Shines looked over the counter, favouring Marcus with a warm smile. “What can I get you?”

“Let’s see…” Marcus tapped his chin, staring at the list with some thought. “Get me an Andechser Doppelbock Dunkel.”

“Good choice,” said Stephan as he took another swig. Marcus gave him a small smirk.

God, that felt so long ago, yet it was one of those memories which stay fresh in your mind, come what may. Apart from a few details on the morning after, that is. There was something in there involving floating cities, lambs and and false shepherds, but he couldn’t for the life of him recall if that was because of the beer, or because he’d woken up at an Xbox LAN party afterwards.

“And what’s your poison today?” asked the Marine, watching the barmare levitate the brown bottle to him.

“Holsten,” said Stephan. “From the old home.”

“Yeah, good choice,” Marcus said quietly, and Stephan knew this wouldn’t be a good night.

Marcus was never one to be quiet, even after all that had transpired. He tended to be a loner, if only to stay away from people who might get hurt by his newfound strength. The events with Vinyl and the other soldiers had been a rough patch so far, but that one group was willing to work it out.

The Marine turned over to Stephan. “So. How was your week?”

It had become a routine for the two. Every Friday night, they would meet and talk about the past few days, which mostly considered of sharing and comparing their woes: Stephan was faced with the daily challenges of hammering LSD-tripped off cuts from Narnia, Skyrim and the Care Bears Family into a unified military, and Marcus was dealing with what Cadance had nicknamed PAIN – Post Apotheosis Incontinence & Naturalization. Still coming to terms with having become a physical demi-god that could have given Gilgamesh nightmares, the first time Marcus had tried to get a drink in a regular bar, he’d attempted to just push the door open, but ended up smashing it instead. Subsequently he’d broken the leg off a barstool he’d grabbed, and crushed several glass in his hand.

“The usual, Amerikaner. Training with the troops, arguing with the Element Bearers, all the other fun stuff. And you?” Stephan took another sip, wondering when Marcus was going to broach the subject of his concern.

Marcus nodded as he drained the bottle and held it up to signal for another. “Training with the Princesses, getting used to my new powers and trying not to break everything.”

Stephan smiled at the last part. “I heard you are managing quite well now.”

Grape Shines came back with another bottle in her magical aura. “Here you go, sir.”

Marcus nodded thankfully, before wrapping his fingers slowly around the glass, then delicately lifting it to his lips. He took a quick sip and placed it back on the bar counter. Stephan saw him gave a small, triumphant smile at this. Even if his enhanced metabolism made it near impossible for Marcus to actually enjoy the alcohol, it seemed that this small victory over his body was reward enough.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

‘Verdammt, jetzt kommt es,’ Stephan thought, raising a raised eyebrow. “About what?”

“Trixie and you.”

“What about us?” Stephan muttered, ignoring the feeling of guilt building up in his gut.

“Well... aside from it being brought to my attention due to concerned parties–” Marcus began, only to stop when Stephan drained his entire glass in one chugged swoop.

“Who told you?” the German asked quietly, lowering his empty glass.

“Cadance,” Marcus answered after a moment’s silence.

“Figures,” Stephan poured himself another drink, scowling slightly. “You know that’s actually none of your business, right?”

Marcus didn’t let him go. “We’re comrades, Stephan. More than that, even. We are friends. One thing friends do is talk about their problems with each other.”

Stephan gave him an annoyed sigh. “Alright, just… start already with your rant.”

Marcus took Stephan at his shoulder and turned him around to face him. “Could you please take this a bit more seriously?”

The German officer looked him in the eye, but showed some restraint and gave him a nod.

“Okay,” said Marcus. “Lately, some of our people have been showing concern for Trixie, and that was only after I asked them personally after Cadance brought it up.” He paused, trying to think of how best to explain. “They said she’s become listless - tired and uninterested in anything, and a few of them have caught her burning herself out from changing form repeatedly, cycling through as many different species as she can. They said she claimed to be trying to… improve something.”

Stephan said nothing, instead staring straight down at his reflection in the bottom of the glass.

“I had to trap Trixie with several others by my side before she‘d finally tell me. Her turning invisible and flying doesn’t make that any easier, by the way.”

“I trained her to be the best,” Stephan answered, causing Marcus to snort.

“Sure. Anyway, she told us why she’s been so tired and why she’s so focused on her abilities. Our best infiltrator is damaging herself out of an attempt to improve her sex life.” He looked grimly at Stephan. “Did you know about this?”

“What Trixie and I do in the privacy of our quarters is private,” Stephan grunted out.

“You know that’s a bullshit answer, especially to me.” Marcus glared at him, restrained frustration signalled by a soft flare in his runes. “If this wasn’t a war of survival, mean and nasty, you two would be placed in separate units the second it became clear you fancied one another. I’m fine with you helping to keep each other sane. But remember, both of you are a part of the PHL as well, and nothing can be allowed to compromise your ability to function in battle, not even your relationship.”

Stephan turning to make an angry retort, but instead paused and laughed darkly, indicating Marcus’ glowing runes.

“You really are pissed at me, aren’t you? What, you think I see her as a toy, a doll that I can play dress-up with?”

“She isn’t an object, she is a living being with feelings and needs,” Marcus began, a flare of his magic driving a deep crack into the table between the two of them. The bartender yelped something that sounded suspiciously like 'not again!' and threw herself beneath the bar. “She isn’t your doll.”

Stephan blinked, then put his drink down, his expression cold as ice as he ran a finger up and down the fresh crack. “You are my friend, Amerikaner, so I’ll say this once. It’s more than anyone else would get.” He looked Marcus dead in the eye. “If you ever, ever say that again, that she’s just a doll for me, then runes or no runes, I’ll knock you out, Hurensohn.”

“Then don’t give me another opportunity. You know I wouldn’t do this without reason,” Marcus said, returning the glare. “So every night you come to your room, and ask Trixie to change into something new?”

“So what if I did?”

Marcus gave him a hard stare. “Every day? For the past three months? Is she that ugly to look at?”

“What! No, of course not! How can you…”

But then Stephan trailed off, his anger slowly dying as he processed just what Marcus was saying. “I… I wasn’t…”

“What’s going on, Stephan?” Marcus asked, hunching forward on his own stool. “If its something other than just satisfying your mutual kinks, then tell me.”

Stephan drew a hand over his face, and looked across to Marcus. Warily he reached out and prodded Marcus on the arm, as if to see whether or not the runes were going to light back up.

“Alright… you know how Trixie has these, ‘side effects’ from using Changeling magic, the split personalities…”

“Yeah…” Marcus said slowly.

“She got this crazy idea that she could ‘dilute’ them. Create so many different morphs that none of them could dominate her mind.”

“That’s… that’s like trying to go so far past crazy that you come back at sane from the other side.”

“Yeah,” nodded Stephan. “But it’s something she wants to do for me, that’s the sick part. It’s not the shapeshifting that’s the problem.” He paused and blushed. “Trust me, it’s not the problem at all… it’s what she’s trying to prove. She’s so damn insecure about ‘who’ she is, and she desperately wants to be the ‘real’ Trixie on the inside… she wants to drown out all those artificial personalities so that she can be confident that I’m in love with ‘Trixie’, and not the Blue Spy...”

“And the thing she’s trying to perfect?”

“She’s trying to attain a human morph. It’s the one thing that’s she’s been unable to pull off. Zecora says its biology that’s the problem – humans have no magical biostructures, but her transformation is inherently magical.”

“So it’s like trying to turn toast back into bread?”

“Yeah, but Trixie is convinced that when she’s ‘herself’ again, she’ll be able to commit to me, and she associates that with being able to look like a woman for me, so she keeps on trying to become a human, and all the stress and effort is ruining her…”

It was like describing a cycle into depression or alcoholism. Trixie destroying herself in an attempt to find something by which to define herself. Marcus said as much, and Stephan laughed back like a broken windup toy.

“You don’t think I’m not kicking myself over it! I’m all torn up because I can’t decide if I’m supporting her in chasing something she wants, or exploiting her to get really amazing sex…”

His energy spent, Stephan slumped back in his chair, frowning, eyes darting this way and that as he continued to rage with himself. He’d been hit by many things during the war – cars, bricks, one angry alicorn – but this, this went deeper than that. It made him question his worth as a person, and he’d always thought himself decent enough outside of the battlefield.

“I think…” the Marine rumbled at last. “You two need to get yourselves straightened out,” he said quietly. He turned to Grape Shines as she peeked out from behind the bar, smiling in apology for the damage he’d caused. He motioned for another drink, which she promptly provided. Popping the cap off the bottle with his pinkie, Marcus placed the fresh pilsner in front of Stephan. “What the two of you need is some downtime. When was your last period of authorized leave?”

“What?”

“Ah, okay, let me phrase it as simply as possible,” Marcus stated again, unable to keep a touch of sarcasm out of his voice. “When was your last vacation? You familiar with the word? Three syllables, denotes a period of rest and relaxation?”

Stephan stared at him as if he’d just declared himself to be in love with Discord. “Never, since the war started.”

“Then you should take one.”

“Are you crazy? There is no time for vaca–”

Marcus lifted a scolding finger at him. “Stephan, we are in an Equestria where time moves slower than in our world. We still have plenty of time left. And you and Trixie both need some time out before you burn yourselves out, and lose your marbles. And need I remind you that Trixie has an awful lot of marbles to spill.”

“And you? I heard you’re throwing yourself into controlling your powers.”

“Immortal adolescence.” Marcus winced at that. “Don’t remind me. If what Cadance warned me is anything to go by, I’m about to go through what she calls a ‘period defined by a vast sense of ennui and spiritual desolation as I deal with the ramifications of infinite time in a finite universe’.” He took another sip from his drink while Stephan stared in disbelief. “But right now, I’ve got time to relax. Celestia told me that meditating helps, though I think that she made that part up just to keep me from working.”

“You would do that,” Stephan pointed out.

“And I have. So would Cheerilee,” Marcus said. “She can handle herself, I know that. But last I heard, thanks to Doc Whooves, her workload gets easier. As for me, I’m not the one with a mare who think she’s got to turn herself into a beautiful butterfly. I have plenty of time for breaks between sessions. You are trying to do everything, and that is making you a bundle of nerves, and that is interfering with your love life. You. Need. A. Break.”

Stephan kept his eyes on the untouched bottle in front of him. Only now did he notice Marcus looking at him expectantly. “You get that from your very special somepony?” Stephan smirked, taking a swig from the bottle. Marcus just shrugged, and the German gazed off thoughtfully into the depths of his drink. “You know. I actually had several weeks leave booked for after my last mission with the Bundeswehr. That was before the war.”

He paused. “Years ago now. And Trixie, she was just thrown onto the battlefield and never allowed to leave. I guess… I guess I didn’t realize just how much we needed one. Did I?”

“You could say that.”

“That’s that, I suppose.” Stephan stretched his arms, and his joints popped loudly. “If we need a break, we need a break… And if it’s gotten this bad…”

“You need a break,” Marcus said, a wry grin on his features. “And so does Trixie.”

Stephan nodded. “But before I do that, I need to make sure the recruits get a good trainer while I am absent.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Like you always do.”

Grape Shines came back with a glass full of golden, liquid bread and placed it back in front of Stephan. He accepted it with a nod. “That I do.” Both men clinked their drinks.

“And what about you and Lyra?”

Marcus blinked. “What?”

“You heard me. Really, this Lyra is probably after you since you landed here. I hear all kinds of stories. And I see stuff too, like the way she looks at you when you’re around.” He smirked. “If there’s something going on between you two, my advice is you... work it out with Cheerilee.”

“You pervert.” Marcus felt completely lost. “I really don’t know what you’re insinuating. And stop waggling your eyebrows at me!”

Stephan eyed him for a while before it hit him. “Oh, shit, you really didn’t know.” He took a sip before continuing. “Look, in all seriousness, the feelings THIS Lyra has for you are far clearer than those of our sainted Ambassador. If you and Cheerilee can’t work out a way to approach that like adults, it’s going to end up in a lot of heartbreak for everyone.”

“I thought I was supposed to be giving you relationship advice.”

“Meh, we’re blind to our own faults, but have no trouble finding the fault in others. All I know is that you and Lyra need to clarify your relationship status. She seems… quite attached to you.”

The Marine’s only response was to keep drinking and hope he could drink himself into unconsciousness.

Silver Shield and some other officers from his time in Iceland would take care of the recruits. Major Bauer knew they would not let him down, even if some wanted a little vacation time for themselves. They were good men and ponies, and they had arrived this far with him. He also suspected that most agreed it was about damn time – he had fought for years, taken on a clone of the Tyrant, and still he hadn’t taken a single break.

Now, he and Trixie stood in the train station, waiting for the next ride to Ponyville, the place Marcus had arrived in following his encounter with the corrupted Elements of Harmony. Despite his initial bumpy arrival, Marcus assured him he’d like it very much. It seemed a nice and quiet little town, in spite of its propensity for attracting doom. Stephan looked forward to spending the better part of two weeks there, until duty inevitably called them back.

“Ponyville…” he mused. “Weren’t you there before, Trixie?”

Trixie shuddered at the name. “Never thought I would go there again… except to burn it down when we invade the evil Equestria,” she said, the last part punctuated with a grim expression.

“Dark,” Stephan whispered. “Well, I hope it will be as enjoyable as Marcus told me. Actually, what could go wr–”

Trixie stopped him with a kick in the leg. “DON’T mention Ponyville and those last words in one sentence.”

“What?” Stroking his sore leg, Stephan gaped at her in surprise. “Why?”

“Just… just trust me on this one.”

Stephan raised an eyebrow, but let the topic drop. “Vacation… never thought that I would get some. Feels… unreal.”

Trixie eyed him for a bit, then set her sights towards the horizon. “Yeah. We already fought for so long on a daily basis that it became routine. Fighting for survival does that, I guess.”

“Then it is a good thing that you two can leave this routine for a while now.”

Stephan and Trixie turned to meet the voice and found Princess Luna, together with Cadance.

Trixie bowed to them, while Stephan gave them a simple nod. “Luna. Cadance. Your Majesties” he greeted, giving the latter a quick, grim look. “Here to wish us a goodbye?”

Luna smiled at him. “Of course. I really hope you and Trixie will enjoy your vacation.”

She and Cadance shared a short, knowing sideways look. Stephan didn’t like it one bit. He knew that look from many of his female comrades. Still, he chose to not comment on it. “Princess Luna, did you get the new training plans?”

Luna gave him a nod. “Of course. We already reorganized everything for the time you are absent.”

“What about the Element Bearers? I wanted to make sure that they…”

Luna raised a hoof to quiet him. “Major Bauer. Everything has been taken care of. Thanks to your planning, it was easier to work out a new training plan for the recruits. You have done enough. Now, trust us in having the ability to take care of the recruits like you did.”

Cadance stepped forward and gave Stephan a warm smile. “You two should only take care of each other now, for you have done more than enough for this nation.”

Now it was Stephan and Trixie’s turn to share a short glance. Trixie’s eyes told him he could stop worrying now.

“Alright,” he said. “Sorry, it’s just that I probably don’t remember how to actually take a vacation. It has been… a long while since the last one.”

“That is like learning how to fly,” Cadance said kindly. “Something you can’t unlearn.”

“Huh,” said Stephan. “We have a similar saying. But that one includes a bike.”

“Really?” Luna chuckled. “I guess Colonel Renee said something like that, too.”

A loud whistling made them all prick up their ears. It was the Canterlot Express, slowly driving into the station. Other ponies, keeping at a respectful distance from the Princesses, moved to bring forth their luggage and say their last goodbyes to their loved ones.

Stephan also grabbed his backpack. “Well, here it is. You coming, Trixie?”

Trixie looked over to the train, which came to a halt with a noise of screaming breaks. “In a minute. There is something I need to discuss with the Princesses first.”

“Well, okay. Just don’t take too long, okay? I’ll wait in our cabin.”

Trixie nodded, and Stephan gave the Princesses his farewell greetings before advancing to their cabin. With the three ponies now amongst themselves, Trixie dared address Luna and Cadance.

“Do you really think that this will work?”

Cadance gave her a reassuring smile. “Of course. It worked with me and Shining, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work with you two. All you need do is keep his head out of anything that includes work. By all means necessary.” She moved her head closer to Trixie’s and whispered, “And I mean by all means necessary.”

Trixie’s cheeks flushed red. “Will it help with the other problem too?”

“That is up to you. You need to tell him how you feel about it, at the right moment.”

“And what is the right moment? And what if he doesn’t agree?”

Luna spoke up. “You will know when. And for the second part, I am certain that he will listen to you. Of course, I’ve seen he can be difficult, but he loves you more than you might believe.”

“Trixie, you coming?” shouted Stephan out of their cabin window.

“Right away, Liebling!”

She picked up her belongings and trotted off to the wagon, having given Luna and Cadance a goodbye of her own. Both Princesses stayed to watch as the train picked up steam, gave a little whistle and departed for Ponyville.

It was an uneventful train ride. The two of them enjoyed the view of the landscape, until Trixie fell asleep in his arms. That gave him time to think about that evening a few weeks back with Marcus, following their encounter with Vinyl.

“What is it you want to talk about, Stephan?”

Stephan tapped his fingers on his desk for a while. “I will try to be as polite as I can.” He cleared his throat. “What, in the fucking nine circles of hell, is wrong with you?!”

“And that is as polite as you can be?”

“If I was in a worse mood, I would have bashed your fucking head in. Going after your own men like that…”

“What would you have done differently? Huh? After all they said about Lyra? After all she did for us?”

Stephan didn’t answer that, and only stared at him.

Marcus’s mouth opened slightly in realization. “You think they’re right.”

Stephan didn’t even flinch as he let Marcus know what he thought. “You are talking to a man who lost his entire home. What would you have expected?”

Marcus didn’t seem to know what to say to that. How could he have forgotten? “So, you want to destroy everything we worked so hard on these few last years?”

“I and many others fought this war before you even came to Europe, Amerikaner. I was one of the first people to train the Empire’s defectors to fight for our side. I saw my home vanish in front of my eyes. And yet I still keep fighting together with the ones whom some people would rather blame and kill for everything that’s happened.”

“I panicked, okay!” Marcus growled, fists clenched “I saw this spiralling out of control and envisioned everyhuman demand that we throw the ponies who’d done the most to help them out on their asses. I saw us stop working together because of a mistake.”

“You don’t trust your own men?”

“I trust them to want to do the right thing. I just don’t trust human nature. Even my own…” Marcus sighed as he carefully sat down and stared up at the ceiling. "There will be blood over this, I’m sure of it. I just hope most of humanity keeps calm and doesn’t decide to kill all ponies.”

Stephan leaned back in his chair and looked at Marcus. “Watergate. Snowden. Wikileaks. Luther. The White Rose. Ring any bells? There are many people in history who tried to uncover the truth and tell it to the others. Some got caught before they could do it. Others succeeded, and them upsetting the applecart’s always been essential to keeping the world spinning. Were those changes always peaceful? No, change is often violent. But those paradigm shifts fertilize our institutions and imaginations. They keep us honest, and they drive us forward.”

There was a moment’s silence before Marcus spoke again. “This isn’t one of those things, Stephan. This isn’t an overture before a revolution, or an aspiration to some great new height. This is holding the button to self-destruction. This is news that would shatter everyone. Hell... for a long moment, even I kind of hated Lyra when I found out. Even if we win, we may never rebuild if people find out.” He closed his eyes. “Would you prove Dr. Salonen right about human nature? There’s a reason they call that man ‘the Vampire’…”

“Yeah,” Stephan frowned. “He seemed to place particular insistence on Pineapple Cutter being part of this expedition. I’d really prefer not to know what those two are planning. But what I’m trying to say is, no matter what we do, we can’t stop people from seeking out the truth.” His frown grew deeper. “So, is this what it feels like?”

“That what feels like?”

“What it feels like to be a leader of a country. To have all the knowledge, to know what’is truly happening, and you’ve got to be honest because to deceive the people could cause panic, anarchy and chaos. But at the same time, you have to hide the truth for the exact same reason… damned if we do, damned if we don’t.”

“Yeah, lucky us,” Marcus grumbled, knowing that at least Vinyl and the others would keep quiet. If anything, the fear of him going ballistic would keep them in line. “Fucked either way. There’s a reason my old chaplain said world leaders never go to Heaven.”

“Gah! Now we’re both entering defeatist mode! All I’m saying is, we can’t hide the truth forever. And I don’t plan to. There’ll be people wanting answers, DESERVING answers. People who lost their entire families will ask questions. And the only question we should answer is, do we wait until someone finds the truth, maybe turns that truth into a twisted parody of itself that, God forbid, could make it seem as if Lyra intended this? Or do we take care of it on our own, showing every side of the spectrum? Good, bad, and everything in between? Marcus, we can’t stop the truthseekers. Can we really betray them like this, even for Lyra’s sake?”

“No… I was planning on telling them eventually,” Marcus groaned. “I wanted to tell them when the war was over.”

“Eventually is a long time coming, Marcus. We could be dead by then.”

“All the better. But if we win, I will sit down before the worlds and explain everything myself,” Marcus narrowed his eyes. “Tell them everything, why this happened, how Lyra is involved, and how she is innocent of anything. I will not do this during a war where information can be warped beyond anything resembling accurate information. The HLF do not need a rebirth…” He sighed heavily. “I... just hope with this Equestria coming to our aid, it may keep humanity calm, despite the eventual reveal of Lyra Heartstrings’ responsibility in all this…”

“Exactly.” Stephan leaned back in his chair, hands folded over the other. “The selfless actions of this unsullied Equestria will help stop a large amount of people from joining those HLF terrorists. We shouldn’t work on how to hide the truth. We must work on how to prepare for when it comes out. And I guess working well with our new allies is one of the keys.”

“Well, we may end up killing some of own former comrades. Since I bet some of them may well join the HLF.”

“A sad, but very possible scenario,” Stephan said somberly. Just before suddenly changing to an upbeat tune with a wicked grin on his face. “Actually, I would like to kick Kraber’s butt, from here to Earth and back. You think he’d cross the floor a second time?”

Marcus paused at that and looked at Stephan. Both men began to giggle, then burst out into a torrent of laughter.

“Nah, they’re still pissed off at him,” Marcus said. “Something about eating a man’s throat and stealing cash and ammo from them? I didn’t ask.”

“...Okay,” breathed Stephan as the laughter died down, “that disturbing interlude aside, look, I know you’re very close to Lyra. The other Lyra, I mean. If you really want to protect her, you have to tell the whole story. And besides, the good part, where she brought us and the ponies together, is probably bigger than the rest. We just have to tell it right… and be prepared in case the truth leaks ahead of time, because then we’ll have to act fast to make sure it’s the truth that gets out, not some half-baked conspiracy paranoia.”

Marcus gave a short nod. “Alright. I guess I can live with that.”

“Good.” Stephan stood up and walked up to the door. “I am hungry. Want to catch lunch?”

He returned to the real world as Trixie wiggled in his arms. She gave a little snort and nuzzled his chest. Gently, Stephan began to stroke her belly, which made her groan happily as she weakly kicked her legs forward.

“Vacation…” Stephan whispered to himself. “Let’s make it the best two weeks ever.”

They found a little inn and took a two-pony room. Problem was, it was a two-pony room. The beds were too small for him, so they had to take the mattresses and put them on the floor to sleep later that night. Thankfully, the owner of the inn told them he would get a bed for Stephan’s size the next day.

It was a Saturday morning when Stephan and Trixie took a stroll through the town. Looking around, he felt rather intrigued by the similarities Ponyville shared with historic German towns and villages. Was it possible that his own Earth and this alien world had a common heritage?

Stephan was so deep in his thoughts that he missed Trixie changing her direction. He followed her the moment he noticed.The walk wasn’t long, and along the way, Stephan saw many ponies who gave Trixie surprised, sometimes frowning, expressions. She seemed to ignore them, but he was worried that one pony could lash out at her for something she did in the past.

He almost ran into her when she just stopped without warning, looking down at what, to him, looked like a random spot.

“It was here,” she said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

Trixie took a deep breath, but kept staring ahead. “My cart. It was here where it got smashed. It was the only thing I had after I left home.”

Stephan felt as though a nail had been driven into his guts. It had been only a matter of time before the cart topic would resurface.

“Have I ever told you my cart and the equipment were the first things I bought as a grown-up? My grandfather was in show business. I’ve lost count of how many evenings I spent curled up at the foot of his armchair, watching him conjure up creatures of myth and wild fantasy…”

Unsmiling, she glanced meaningfully at the human. “Good times, but he died when I was little… I wanted to follow his life path, but my parents had other plans. They forced me to continue at magic school. And I hated it. I’m sure my classmates were talking about me behind my back.” She paused, struggling with her conflicting emotions. “My teacher was the only one who believed in me, strangely. Said I had a gift, I just didn’t know how to use it. But I didn’t care. In the evenings, I’d work hard to earn enough cash to get out. And then, once I did, I travelled the country, doing a little show here and there. It was great! All eyes were on me, and they love me! Then came Ponyville.”

She didn’t said anything for a while. That gave Stephan time to think about what Trixie had told him about the incident in Ponyville. How she’d acted like a self-centered bitch – her words, not his – to challenge ponies like Applejack and Rainbow Dash, only winning by using cheap tricks. Even though she still maintained they shouldn’t have heckled her first.

Stephan knelt down at her side and began to scratch her behind the ears. With a little gasp, she seemed surprised at first, but managed to look back at him. He saw that her eyes had begun to tear up a little. Gently, he wiped the tears away.

“But you went on, didn’t you?” he asked.

Trixie nodded. “Yes. After the incident, I worked on a rock farm to earn enough bits to buy a new one. I wanted to buy something else first, something that would have gotten me everything I wanted, but nothing I needed… I’m glad I changed my mind. I didn’t want to look back, but to look forward. And then your world came. And I saw new opportunities.”

“I’m... I am sorry,” she heard him whisper.

“For what?”

“For destroying your cart.”

Trixie looked back down at the place where the old cart had been smashed into the ground. Then back at him. She placed a hoof on his knee and moved her head to his and gave him a kiss. “You did what you needed to save me. And… it’s in the past now. And I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I want to look forward. Just going forward.”

She nuzzled his chest and he placed his hand on her back. “And I want you at my side when we walk that road.”

Stephan leaned his head into hers. “I will. Always.”

Both stayed like this for a while. He only let go when she did.

After another little walk, they took a break to admire the town fountain, a group of three little fillies drove past on the same scooter. And came to a screeching, dusty halt a few meters away. Their young, inquisitive eyes were glued on the human and the little blue mare at his side.

“Isn’t that Trixie?” asked the orange pegasus with a purple mane who was driving the scooter.

“Ah think so. And is that Marcus?” asked another filly, an earthpony with yellow, cream-like fur whose red mane was adorned by a large pink bow and tail. She sat in a cart connected to the scooter.

“Nah, he doesn’t look like Marcus. That’s another human,” said the third one, a unicorn with white fur and a grayish mulberry-and-rose-streaked mane.

“I wonder what they want here,” asked the orange one.

The white one gave a big gasp. “Maybe the human is a friend of Marcus’ and came to stop Trixie from doing something bad again!”

Trixie winced a little. Stephan looked at her with worried eyes, then back to the fillies. “Please, girls, watch what you say. This is not the same Trixie you may know, and she’s a very good friend of mine.”

He tried to make it sound as unthreatening as possible. The fillies just gave him a very confused look, then drove over to meet the two newcomers.

“What do ya mean by ‘not the Trixie we may know’?” asked the one with a red ribbon.

Stephan decided that though they were children, he should not talk down to them. Knowing people like Kraber and the Dragons of the East had taught him that much, at least. “She is from the other Equestria, and she helps me and my comrades fight the Tyrant.”

The three fillies collectively gasped.

“Wow, really? Never thought that Trixie would actually help anypony,” said the orange one.

“But just because she is Trixie too, doesn’t mean she is the same as our Trixie,” the yellow one interjected.

‘Pretty smart for someone her age,’ thought Stephan.

“Eeh, I guess you’re right,” replied the orange one.

“Maybe we should introduce ourselves. I am Stephan Bauer, and this is Fräulein Trixie Lulamoon. From another Equestria.”

The three fillies smiled at them, before each shouted out their own name.

“Ah’m Applebloom!” said the yellow one.

“I’m Scootaloo!” declared the orange one.

“And I’m Sweetie Belle!” squeaked the white one.”And together we’re–”

“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”

Stephan was almost deafened by that last shout. The one day he wasn’t wearing ear protection just had to be the day he met those three fillies. He found himself reflexively tugging at the collar of his T-shirt in discomfort. Trixie looked equally taken aback by the cacophony.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders?” he asked politely. He began to remember now. He knew their counterparts back from Earth, but these fillies looked absolutely different. Three innocent fillies, now that was a sight for sore eyes. Every single PHL pony had a place in the war effort, after all, even fillies. He’d once had to oversee the creation of foal-sized assault saddles, for God’s sake, and Aegis, that huge stallion who followed Kraber everywhere, had been worried about his teenage son getting into combat…

And the Cutie Mark Crusaders he knew had seen far too much for their ages. Applebloom had been a recent defector, alternately terrorized and ignored by a demonic caricature of her sister. Sweetie Belle had woken up in Zecora’s hut and taught herself to survive in the Everfree forest, a scared filly armed only with her wits and a hornwritten note from Rarity telling her to avoid the Empire at all costs, and that if they spoke again, she wouldn’t be Rarity. And Scootaloo… poor Scootaloo.

Applebloom nodded enthusiastically at the stranger. “Yep! We’re on our quest to get our cutie marks!”

‘Wait, aren’t their cutie marks related to their special talent? And even their names hint towards those talents? Wow, why is noone telling them that? That’s just cruel…’

Stephan blinked in surprise when he felt a light tap on his boot. He looked down to see Applebloom standing at his feet. “Hey, Mister... Ah was wondering if you could help us get our cutie marks?”

Any other man would feel his heart melting at such a picture of cuteness. Thing was, Stephan was not any man. And his past experiences with fillies, who had all been born as ‘filles’ rather than fillies, brought up mixed feelings. Emotions he’d rather keep suppressed, even now.

“I am not really sure how I could help you with that.”

The fillies looked at each other knowingly. Then Applebloom looked back at him. “Well, Mister Stephan, you just got here in town, right?”

He had a bad feeling about this. “Yes. Yes, we are. Trixie was here before, but…” He looked down at Trixie. “You said that you didn’t know much about this place, right?”

Trixie shook her head. “No, the last time I was here had been… ahem, I was just traveling through.”

“Then we’ll give you a tour!” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah, we could be–” Sweetie Belle began, and Stephan’s stomach gave him the urgent call to take cover, dig himself into a deep hole, take supplies for two weeks and never come up again as long as those fillies were around.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, TOWN TOUR GUIDES, YAY!”

Right after the ringing in his ears died down, and with it probably a few brain cells, he addressed the fillies.

“That’s a nice offer, girls, but–” Stephan began, only for Trixie to interrupt.

“Of course we would like to.”

Stephan looked at Trixie, aghast. She just gave him a warm and lovely smile in return.

“Alright, then we start here!” said Applebloom, pointing with her hoof at a random building. “This house is Berry Punch’s. She is a very nice pony, but ya may want to keep yer distance in the evening. Also, she’s kinda shy around strangers.”

“Are you going to tell us about every house and pony here?” Stephan asked weakly.

“Of course!” Sweetie Belle said happily. “That is what town guides do!”

‘No, not really,’ he thought.

“Alright, next one is Lemonhearts. Follow me!”

‘This is going to be a long day...’

While the human had his back turned, the pony known as Short Fuse scowled as he watched the alien creature walk by. From his vantage point in the shade of a parasol at a local café, his eyes shifted across every being in sight. The town was too crowded. It would be nearly impossible for the group to take down Bauer in public without causing a panic.

Especially with that traitorous mare by his side. Trixie Lulamoon, the Blue Spy.

“Sir?”

Fuse jumped at the sound of the voice behind him.

“Curse it all, Hot Shot,” he growled under his breath. “Ya nearly burst my heart.”

The other earthpony smiled at him sheepishly. “Um, sorry, sir?” Hot Shot kept that daft smile on his face just a few seconds too long before he continued. “Just letting you know that our Loyalist guards have arrived, and are ready to move out on your order.”

“Good, just need to figure out how to get that blue killer freak away,” Fuse muttered as he saw the blue mare grow wings, much to the shock of many townsponies around her.

He hated them, these humans and their pony allies. The ‘Weaver’ mare had done her job well. Not only had she provided them with the secret keepers to safeguard their minds and memories from Nightmare Moon, the advice she’d given to Corporal Exit Strategy to research the humans’ history books in that city of theirs had provided valuable insight into the aliens’ depravity.

Which was why he’d taken notes during the last few meetings, notes to read afterward and memorize before he destroyed them. His writing skills were as crude as his personality, even he could see that, but what truly mattered was not letting himself forget. He didn’t want to be buoyed by a vague sense of righteousness. It was important to remember just why humans deserved the fate Her Majesty had decreed for them.

“No worries, sir,” Hot Shot answered. “As it happens, we managed to… ‘procure’ a special knockout gas from the armory.”

Short Fuse gave him a funny look. “Knockout gas? From the PHL?”

“Negative, sir. From Canterlot. If there’s one thing the PHL is good at, its accountability. Their weapons are under a close watch, and only PHL members are allowed to take them out.” Hot Shot rubbed his head, frowning somewhat. “No offense, sir. But this seems a tad bit…”

“Foolhardy?”

Wasn’t that what he’d called the tin boy, Icewind, back during that first meeting? Certainly. It took one to know one, after all. Like many ponies, Short Fuse lived up to his name, and needless to say, he’d gotten into trouble for it in the past. Despite himself, the burly earthpony shuddered a little at the memory of beds of straw, damp grey stone walls and windowless underground places. But that was all in the past. He’d promised Mini to leave it behind, and stuck to his promise... mostly.

This was different, however. It wasn’t the same as landing in a tavern brawl against four or five mares and stallions your own size, more than capable of dishing back out what you gave them. Ponies could be a rowdy bunch, yet humans were predators, for Celestia’s sake. Crouching in wait looking all vulnerable with those crocodile tears, ready at any minute to leap out, seize you by the jugular and tear out your throat. You couldn’t pull any punches against such creatures. Who knew what they’d unleash? They’d already filled the land with warlike ponies who’d spent so much time around humanity they were barely Equestrians, like the Vinyl Scratch that visited Ponyville in the first two weeks...

“I was going to say rushed, but that’s a good term as well.” Hot Shot chuckled as Fuse grumbled under his breath. “Either way, sir, our best bet would be to wait for them to split on their own, or when they turn in for the night. We’ve got antidotes on hoof, so luckily we can use the gas and be unaffected by it.”

Both watched as the fillies hurried up to the human, chattering on about nonsense and whatnot. Fuse didn’t care, he just wanted them away from the two killers. ‘How could three fillies be so comfortable in their presence?’ he wondered, thinking back to what he remembered Miss Berry Punch saying. There’d been ponies outside their little conspiracy who’d accused her of terrible things for not supporting humanity, but she just... didn't want her filly to be touched by the war.

Corporal Strategy had, in a particularly stressed mood, explained that Stephan Bauer was the ‘weakest’ link of the trio he made up together with Marcus Renee and the Blue Spy. Although that wasn’t saying much, given that he’d allegedly fought a projection of Queen Celestia and lived, it sounded like he’d be the easiest one to take unawares. So when word from Punch had reached Fuse’s ear that he’d be in town, the course of action seemed clear.

Bauer needed to be disposed of, no matter what Catseye said about killing.

“Good,” Fuse rubbed his chin with as he watched as the group stopped in front of a flower stand, the unnatural couple listening patiently to the three fillies. “For now, we wait.”

“Understood, sir.”

It was late in the afternoon as the tour ended. The three fillies were quite disappointed that their excursion hadn’t earned them their cutie marks. Still, the tour still had one positive side effect. The local spa. It was a good tip. Those who didn’t know him may have been surprised to hear it, but Stephan wasn’t one to turn down a good massage.

Especially when the masseurs were cute pony twins.

Right now, Stephan and Trixie were seated in the steam sauna, letting their muscles melt away in the heat. He was sitting sideways on the bench, she a bit further in front of him. Out in the reception he heard the sound of a door opening, and one of the spa mares, Lotus if he was any judge, greeting some new customers.

“We already have visitors in here. I hope it’s okay, even if it is a stallion with his marefriend.”

“Oh, my,” came a soft-spoken reply. “I hope that they won’t have a problem with us then.”

Now that was a familiar voice. Stephan’s ears perked immediately, especially after the second newcomer spoke.

“Nonsense, darling. I’m sure they won’t begrudge our presence.”

No mistake about it. Fluttershy and Rarity were about to drop by. Stephan didn’t say anything. Trixie neither. He could have sworn that he heard a giggle from Rarity and a shy meep from Fluttershy, followed by the clip-clop of hooves.

It sounded like they took a place in the other corner of the sauna, but it was all but impossible to see through a fresh burst of steam as Lotus poured another pail over the scaling-hot stones.

“Oh, how I’ve missed this,” cooed Rarity. “Did you feel the same way, Fluttershy?”

“Yes, it’s nice.”

“I mean,” she continued, “After all those days of training, being shouted at and worse from that, that brute Mr. Bauer.”

‘Now that is gonna be good,’ Stephan thought, unable to hide a smirk as Rarity rolled on in full sway, a diva finally letting loose.

“I mean, it wouldn’t hurt him to be a little bit nicer, would it?”

“Uhm, I don’t think he’s that bad.”

“Why would you say that?” demanded Rarity.

“Remember the obstacle course? The first time we had to do it?”

“Oh, how could I forget it. It was dreadful!”

“Well,” said Fluttershy. “I was behind you all, and I couldn’t climb the wall.”

“I still wonder why he didn’t allow you and Rainbow to use your wings.”

“I…” Fluttershy choked a little. “I was crying in front of it after my third try. And then Stephan came to me.”

“Oh my,” gasped Rarity. “What did he do?”

“He asked me what my problem is and why I wasn’t climbing over that wall.”

“That untactful, uncivilized, cavepony!”

‘Wow, she really is a diva,’ thought Stephan.

But Fluttershy pursued her story. “After I told him that, he kneeled down and, um, told me about his first time climbing it. He told me that he had to try it four times before he could do it. I couldn’t believe it, but, well, he said that he was going to give up too, like me. Then his superior came to him, told him that it is okay, not everyone can do it right the first time. He gave him the courage to do it again, and he did it. He said that he believed in me, that I could do it in less than four tries. And I did.”

Stephan smiled slightly to himself. He hadn’t even lied about the story.

“Really?” Rarity sounded very surprised. “By yourself?”

“No, not really,” admitted Fluttershy. “He helped me a little bit by pushing me slightly over it.”

“What?” exclaimed Rarity indignantly. “He made everypony climb that wall all by themselves the first time, and helps only you?”

“If you remember correctly, I DID manage it all by myself right after this day.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“It’s okay,” Fluttershy said kindly. You know, he’s actually really nice. I think he’s only mean to us because he wants to prepare us for the battle, to stop us from making any foolish mistakes.”

Stephan smiled at her comment. He heard the door opening and Lotus call out.

“Your time is up. If you’d come with me, we have a lovely bath set up to cool you both down.”

“But we’ve only just started!” replied a surprised Rarity.

“Oh, not you, Miss. No, I meant Mr. Bauer and Miss Lulamoon, my apologies for not clarifying.”

The air grew as cold as Sombra’s sense of aesthetics, despite the sauna heat. Lotus’ opening of the door had created enough draught to clear some of the steam, and Stephan and Trixie burst into laughter as Rarity was revealed to them, frozen stiff. Fluttershy, however, was covering her head under her hooves and whimpering at a register normally reserved for the tiniest of critters.

“...meep…”

Stifling their laughter, the Bauer/Lulamoon party took their leave of the two stunned mares, shooting knowing grins over their shoulders as they went.

“Look out, look out, Bauer’s about…” Trixie murmured softly, and Stephan responded by grabbing her her across the barrel and tossing her into the huge communal bathtub that had been readied for them.

‘That was some fun shit. Gonna be interesting to see how the other mares react when they hear that we’re in town,’ Stephan thought, as an infuriated Trixie grabbed him with her TK and dragged him into the tub with her. ‘But first!’

The resulting splash-fight kept the both of them entertained, while Lotus shimmered about the room, a knowing smile on her face.

Their ‘full body overhauls’ complete, Stephan waited for Trixie at the counter. She was still drying herself. It wasn’t the first time she’d taken so long, and definitely not the last. Aloe, who was waiting, was trying to discretely examine him out of the corner of her eye. Unable to hold back a trolling impulse, everytime he saw her attention shift towards him, he turned his smiling face towards her, forcing her to break off eye contact and resume interest in the inner mysteries of the cash register.

Their little game of cat-and-mouse ended the second that the spa was rattled by the girliest scream imaginable and the sound of stuff getting thrown around. Both he and Aloe followed it, rushing to the door which led into the changing room, but it opened forcefully before either of them could reach it.

Behind the door was a frowning Rarity, green mud slathered across her face and the haunches of a mortified-looking Sweetie Bell, whose big sister was towing her out of the room tail-first. After them came Scootaloo and Applebloom, followed by Trixie and Fluttershy. Rarity let go of her sister and turned around to face her.

“What were you thinking!?” Rarity scolded.

“We just tried to get our Changing Room Helpers Cutie Mark,” whimpered Sweetie Belle.

“We didn’t mean to throw over the locker! One of them just didn’t want to open, and we tried to pull it open!” chipped in a disappointed looking Scootaloo.

“It was locked! That is why it’s called a locker!” Rarity nearly screamed at them, visibly trying to massage away a burgeoning migraine with her hoof.

The three fillies all gave a collective “Ooh,” at that. Stephan just shook his head, thinking ‘I hope I don’t have to put up with them again…’

Lotus, who had briefly retired to the staff room, now entered the scene. Her eyes flicked over the assorted fillies and adults before she turned a questioning expression upon Aloe, who just sighed.

“The CMC, again.”

Lotus simply nodded exasperatedly. “Well, they can clean it up later.”

“Oh yes,” proclaimed Rarity, the look in her eyes inviting no argument. Stephan was quite impressed. “I can think of nothing better than putting these three little cadets on fatigues.”

Okay, make that doubly impressed. The normally prissy dressmaker had the nightmarish gaze of a drill-sargeant down to perfection. Lotus on the other hand was an absolute professional, simply sidestepping the chaos and resuming business.

“Aloe, did you get the mane potion from Zecora like we discussed yesterday?”

“Oh, my!” her sister spa-pony’s eyes went wide and put a hoof at her mouth. “Sorry, I must have forgot!”

“Aloe, all the afternoon slots are booked, and I’ve only got the dregs of the last bottle to work with! I asked you to get it in the morning!”

“We can get it!” [three little voices chimed with troubling enthusiasm. Everyone looked towards the fillies, who had big smiles on their faces.

“You?” asked Aloe.

Applebloom nodded. “We know where Zekorah’ lives. We can go there and get the potion in no time at al’!”

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Rarity said in a shrill voice, putting a hoof down to lend emphasis to her words.

“Aww, why not?” pleaded Sweetie Belle, as if totally oblivious to the chaos spawned from their last attempt at ‘helping’.

‘God forbid Discord ever befriend these three. We’d be lucky to live to see another sunrise!’ Stephan thought to himself, while Rarity continued to make her feelings known.

“I forbid it! I don’t care how many times you’ve wandered into the Everfree Forest. It, Is, Dangerous!”

“But nothing bad ever happened!”

“Ahem… does anypony remember a certain cocatrice affair! And Applebloom, have you already forgotten what happened the last time you got lost in the Forest? Applejack told me you had the most dreadful nightmares for weeks!”

“Sunny Town…” Applebloom shivered, taking a quick glance at her blank flank. “It was horrible…”

“Might Trixie throw in an idea?” came a ringing proclamation. Stephan looked at his marefriend with a raised eyebrow, amused at how several hours relaxation had evidently caused her to lapse back into the third-person. The others turned with him.

‘Well, at least she’s laid off on the Great and Pow-’

“It occurs to the Great and Powerful Trixie…”

‘And facepalm!’

“...ah, sorry. It occurs to the quite-average Trixie that if an adult accompanies them, then these three young ones would be allowed to go, right?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, but I’m afraid it shall not be me. Our spa regimen is not finished yet. Right, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy, who was looking at Stephan, gave a nod of her own “Y-yes, we aren’t finished yet.”

“We’ve been just killing for a chance to relax like this!” Rarity clarified, throwing a particularly cautioning glare towards the CMC as she did.

“Well,” Trixie began and let her eyes wander towards Stephan, a smirk of her own developing. “In my wisdom, I know someone who’s got some free time right now.”

Stephan’s eyes went wide. “Bitte, was?”

Trixie walked to him and mentioned him to get down on her level, and then whispered, “Come now, it’s just escorting three little fillies. And besides, I think it is good for you to socialise with people who aren’t, well, soldiers or...”

She trailed off, but Stephan was able to finish what she was about to say: ‘Broken Goods.’

She was right of course. Back on Earth, everyone lived in a constant state of war. Even the CMC’s counterparts on Earth had lost their childhood way too early.

‘Especially you...’ he thought, shooting a slightly shamed glance at Scootaloo, whose tiny wings were buzzing with excitement. ‘Heaven willing, you’ll get a chance to fly someday. Your ‘twin’ wasn’t so lucky...’

That innocence and excitement was equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to be around children laughing and playing, not worrying over whether they’d survive to the next day, or preparing for war.

‘I almost would’ve been wasting my time if I didn’t use this for a vacation.’

He sighed in defeat and gave Trixie a nod. “Okay, I will do it.”

“Fantasic! Girls, what about you? Do you want to go with uncle Stephan?”

The three fillies eyes widened. “REALLY?!”

“But Major–,” Rarity began, yet Stephan cut her words with a wave of his hand.

“It’s Stephan. I am not on duty, remember?”

Rarity seemed momentarily flummoxed, but shrugged it off. Of course, she heard the first name of the Major several times before, not until now had he allowed her to call him by it.

“Maj– I mean, Stephan. Please, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I have nothing to do anyway. Besides, you ladies are still not finished.”

“What about Trixie?” asked Fluttershy.

“Oh, Stephan is a big boy,” the mare in question snarked, before smiling. “He can take care of himself without me to protect him from all the dangers in the wicked wild wood. Besides, I still have to unpack some of our stuff, back in the inn. Maybe when I’m done you two ladies could show me around town?”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” Fluttershy responded with surprising vigor.

“Yes, well…” mumbled Rarity. “If no-one minds, I guess its alright. But you three will still be helping to clear up the mess once you and Stephan return from Zecora’s…”

Any words spoken after she gave permission fell on deaf ears. Everyone who heard the loud gasp from the fillies prepared for the inevitable, except Stephan, who realised the danger too late.

“We could be the…CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, DELIVERY SERVICE, YAY!”

It was not the second time he’d seen the trio’s enthusiasm first-hand, except that this time they were in a confined indoor space. Stephan’s ears would never forgive them.

Looking back on it – the echoes still ringing in his ears – Stephan had to chuckle. Despite the mess they’d left on their hooves, Lotus and Aloe could not have been more glad to be rid of the three fillies. Now the irrepressible threesome were leading him into the leafy suburbs of the Everfree Forest, and onto Zecora’s hut.

‘Sweetie Belle’s hut in another time.’

It was surprising how much of the survivalist he could see in her younger, undamaged self. Same with Scootaloo, who was evidently going to grow up tough as nails. And while he’d never had much of a chance to get to know Applebloom’s ‘other half’, the filly seemed to have a fairly solid head on her shoulders when not overcome with childish enthusiasm.

‘If not for the things I’d seen, I’d almost consider forcing her to grow up so fast to be a war crime in itself. Forcing somepony like that to essentially run a slave-plantation staffed by zombies, worked to the bone when she should be in high school.... Huh. She’d been happy that the farm was crippled, but Big Mac had eeeeenoped his way out of any explanation. Nah. Probably better off not knowing.’

This was his first proper look at the Everfree, and he was honestly impressed. It had a feeling of real old growth to it, the kind of wizened age that was so familiar in the ancient forests of Europe-that-was, and all but alien in the Americas. The interlacing trees created a thick canopy overhead, shutting out most of the sky and keeping the forest floor free for shrubs and mosses to carpet. Unseen creatures could be heard scuttling and slithering away as they passed.

That said, he understood this Everfree to be considerably safer nowadays, thanks to the sheer number of PHL scouts domesticating it in search of ingredients for ‘their’ Zecora’s potions, though there had also been numerous expeditions to the Tree of Harmony and the Castle of Two Sisters, in search of treasures best not discussed outside of closed circles.

“Come on, Major Stephan! This way!” Scootaloo called out as she began to run up the path, her tiny wings buzzing as she did.

“Slow down, Scootaloo!” Sweetie called out in good-natured frustration. When Scootaloo didn’t respond, her jogged forward after her, scooped her up in his arms and placed her over his shoulder in a reverse fireman’s hold. Applebloom giggled at the look on her friend’s face.

“Alright, now you can ride there for a while and be my parrot…” Stephan said firmly, lowering his hands. The orange filly quickly discovered she liked her elevated perch, and planting a hind leg on each of his shoulders she held onto the top of his head with one hoof while pointing dramatically with the other.

“The future is in the past! ONWARDS AOSHIMA!”

Unable to hold back his laughter, Stephan simple revelled in the Crusader’s joy. Honestly, he was glad they’d not asked about the ‘Crusaders From Another World!’. It would be hard to explain that their friendship was nearly broken due to the war itself…

‘Note to self, Bauer’ he thought. ‘Nobody should let on that their counterparts have got their cutie marks. There’d be no way to keep the painful truth from them otherwise. And they deserve to discover their own destinies, rather than walk in the hoofprints of others. It’s bad enough for Lyra knowing who she… could have been?’

That realization darkened his mood, and as if in resonance with his inner shift, a light fog began to drift out from the trees. Unconcerned, Applebloom and Scootaloo continued to scamper on.

“How much further!?” he muttered to Scootaloo, who like him seemed to have noticed the sudden change in conditions.

“Uh, a mile, I think.”

‘So, another twenty minutes on foot and hoof.’

As the fog spread, Stephan’s pace increased until he caught up to the two fillies. His gut was telling him something was wrong. They walked for a few more minutes, until the thin skein of mist had suffused the path entirely.

“Girls, stop.”

“Huh?! Oomph!” Sweetie Belle yelped as she tripped over herself, earning a laugh from Applebloom as her friend helped her up.

“What’s wrong?” asked the more cautious Scootaloo as she scrambled down from her perch atop his back.

“Something’s not right,” Stephan said slowly, his eyes darting over the area. He found himself wishing he’d at least brought his knife with him.

His breath coming in controlled little puffs, Short Fuse lurked some fifty yards away from the path, hidden within the brush.

“What do we do?” the unicorn next to him whispered. “He knows something’s up.”

Short Fuse scowled at the frozen human in annoyance. Damn those primitive predator instincts, or whatever it was that had got the brute on edge.

“We hold, let the potion do its work. By the time he realizes what is happening, it’ll be too late.”

“Right, stay in formation,” the unicorn replied quietly, the twenty-strong group of pony Loyalists slowly dispersing into the fog, flanking the path on both sides.

“Come on, let’s keep moving,” Stephan muttered to the Crusaders.

“Yeah, Zecora’s stump ain’t that…” Applebloom started to yawn, catching her by surprise. “...ain’t that far. Oh, dang! Ah must’ve been more tired than Ah thought!”

“Great,” Sweetie Belle gave a yawn of her own, “You’re making it spread!”

“Haha!” Scootaloo still seemed to have some energy in her, and scampered ahead by a few paces. Almost immediately however her face showed some signs of exhaustion as well.

It didn’t take long for Stephan to notice how quickly the three fillies started to slow down, yawning and moving sluggishly. Likewise, he himself was beginning to feel drowsy, and he couldn’t stop himself from taking a moment to yawn before his ears caught the sound of a small body falling onto the ground.

“What?” he turned around to see Sweetie Belle laying on the ground, the little unicorn’s eyes blinking leadenly.

“S… Sweetie Belle?” Applebloom murred, laying down herself beside her prone friend’s head. “Is… something’s wrong.”

“Yeah…” Scootaloo gave a long yawn, struggling to stand. “I’m… so... tired.”

“Girls?” Stephan took a step closer, his heart beginning to pump as the gut feeling he had been having since entering the forest grew. He took a careful sniff of the air, frowning at the light scent that filled the air.

It was lavender, or something very much like it. But it wasn’t the season for flowers to be so heavily in bloom, not even in the Everfree. Despite that realisation, it took several painfully long seconds before his sluggish thoughts offered up another match for the smell.

‘Knockout gas.’ he realized, and with all the strength he could muster he pulled off his shirt, soaked it on some damp foliage, and wrapped it tightly around his face.

“Time to go,” he said as he took the three Crusaders into his arms, struggling under the cumulative weight of three small-ish horses.

“Drop the fillies, you filthy monkey!” a voice rang out, causing him to freeze, “Don’t you dare harm a hair on their heads!”

Stephan tried to blink his swirling vision clear. There was an earth pony standing on the path, an expression of total distain spread across his face. At his side were two armoured Royal Guards, both unicorns, their horns aglow.

“I said drop them,” the earthpony repeated, glaring at Stephan. “We are going to take a walk. You, me, and a few friends of mine.”

“Yeah... No.”

Scowling, he turned to flee into the treeline, catching his would-be-captors off guard. He didn’t know who they might be affiliated with, but he doubted they meant him well.

“After him!”

Stephan staggered his way through the forest. He still felt groggy from the knockout gas, but even disorientated as he was, he held the advantages that came with being descended from arboreal apes. His longer stride enabled him to simply step over obstacles his pursuers had to vault or scramble over, and while he stood taller than the average stallion, he was considerably narrower and could squeeze through tight gaps.

Man might fear the dark of the woods, but Man was born out of that dark.

Nonetheless, he was still struggling. Whatever they’d used to drug him had made him sluggish, though they were clearly amateurs with knockout gas. Beyond him possessing a body mass different to the average pony, it was hard to calculate a proper dosage with aerosol dispersant, and this stuff was heavier than air, meaning it had clung to the ground and affected the fillies first.

“Take a vacation he said, it will be relaxing, he said, leaping awkwardly over a log, cursing himself for not bringing weapons, and cursing Marcus ‘Messiah’ Renee as well. “This is not RELAXING!”

His eyes widened and he slid to a stop, just before he ducked his head from the flying tackle of a Royal Guard, the pegasus soaring past on an arc that slammed him into the ground. Stephan rushed away, the sound of clopping hooves pounding all around him in a orgy of sound.

“You can’t escape Equestrian justice, human!”

One unicorn charged out, unleashing several spells from his horn.

Stephan scowled as he rolled to the side from the magic being flung at him, then lost his footing and pitched into a small gully with a stream at the bottom. The CMC fell onto a small mud bar, and mumbling an apology to the three kids he scrambled to improvise a weapon. The stream bed was littered with stones, and snatching up the first to hand, Stephan hurled it at the unicorn.

The humble stone was Man’s first tool. With it he made shelter, fire, and weapons. It caught the unprepared stallion right across his glowing horn, breaking his concentration. From his screams, the backlash was evidently quite painful. Uncaring, Stephan turned as his next opponents revealed themselves. Rolling aside, he lashed out with a kick that tipped an earthpony mare over into the stream. Before she could get her legs under her, he threw his entire weight onto her back and held her head underwater, until her thrashing weakened to the point where she was no longer a threat. Stephan hurled her spluttering onto the bank and rose, soaked through but standing, the cold water helping him shake off the last effects of the knockout gas.

“I GOT HIM!” screamed a pegasus as she dive-bombed onto his back and wrapped her legs around his body. But instead of trying to fight her off, Stephan simply reached back, grabbed hold of her wing, and twisted it hard.

‘Pony training rarely accounts for taking on opponents with prehensile digits. I need to thank Queen Hedwig for teaching me that.’

The mare screeched as something popped in the wing root, loosening her grip enough for him to gain traction on her body and seize her other wing. Her eyes widened in shock as she was spun around, her body used like a bola that took out another pegasus as Stephan launched her off him, leaving both fliers in a heap on the ground. “ACK! I DON’T GOT HIM!”

Several more earthponies rushed in, heavy batons held in their mouths. With each surge they tried to surround him, but Stephan constantly exploited his bipedal ability to weave and dodge, evading every strike. He growled as he avoided a swipe of one baton and lashed out with a kick to one aggressor’s neck, nearly breaking it with the blow and dropping the stallion in question like a sack of rocks, a sight which left many of them flinching, mouths wide open.

Stephan dove for the downed pony’s baton, feinting to avoid another blow to the back. Once the baton was in his hand, he quickly turned around to smack the pink earth pony behind him, the weapon’s shaft connecting with the mare’s mouth in a sickening crack. She fell to the ground as she screamed in pain, clutching her bloody jaw

“Who else wants some!” Stephan roared, waved the bat in a display of primal fury. Many took a step back, except for the ringleader, who only seemed incensed.

“Sweet Celestia, it’s just one bucking primate!” Fuse bellowed at the others. He spun to the unicorn next to him. “Use what your pa’ gave ya, pinhead! When he’s defending himself, blast him!”

“Sir, I might hit one of–”

“If you miss, he’ll come for you next, and then your wife and foals!” Fuse growled, turning to the human with a snort. “I’ll give ya’n opening, better take the shot.”

“Yes, sir.”

‘I am out of my element,’ the unicorn thought. ‘I am soooooo out of my element.’

Stephan was growing desperate, his body becoming more sluggish as the fight wore on, not from any drugs, but simple exhaustion. It was getting harder and harder to avoid the blows, and his opponents were getting angrier as time went on.

“Enough!” declared the same brick-red earthpony, the leader of this group, rushed at him. “Out of the way! I’ll put ya’ down myself!”

The human scowled as he braced himself to absorb the charge, watching as the stallion rushed into the shallow water with a mad grin on his face.

… So imagine his surprise when the stallion gave a single loud whistle before dropping to the ground, sliding his entire body mass into Stephan’s legs.

Stephan himself barely had time to catch his balance, though the water around his legs was enough to keep him from toppling. Staggering, he tried to jerk himself aside as a glowing bolt of magic rushed at him. It wasn’t enough.

“Argh!” His left shoulder burst into pain as he was flung away from the stream, spinning through the air before landing on the ground, thrown over a dozen yards by the powerful spell. He struggled to rise, but his injured arm dangled uselessly. “Fuck.”

“Ha! See, that’s how you do it!” the stallion cooed, chuckling as he trotted forward, “Now then, monkey, let’s get you all nice and– urk!”

Stephan had once again resorted to basic tools, and snatched up a fallen branch, in effect a really thick wooden stick, which he used to bash the stallion across the skull. He lashed out with another kick to the stunned Royal Guard flanking him, catching him across the jaw and knocking him cold. The others were too stunned to react as he ran, cursing them in his native language.

“After him! Don’t let him escape!” the unicorn cried as he gave chase, a few following him.

Stephan held onto his shoulder, pushing past the pain as he ran from the ponies. Bolts of magic flew through the air, forcing him to dart through the trees to avoid being hit..

“Just like Schwarzwald,” he grunted.

Then a spell impacted him in the back as he struggled to climb the slope of the gully. His mind became foggy as sleep threatened to take him. Snarling, he pushed the spell back, his mental defenses struggling to keep him awake.

Stephan couldn’t avoid the second spell. Just as he reached the top of the slope, pure brute force slammed his back and sent him flying through the air. He tumbled over the far side into a new body of water, a larger, freezing flow that quickly pulled him under, churning him head over heels as he struggled to break the surface.

“Scheisse!” He broke into open air, only to slam into a rock, causing whatever air he’d gained to be lost as he was dragged back under.

‘Just my luck to hit the rapids…’

Desperately, he reached out for a handhold, and managed to grab some underwater weeds. But he felt it shift, and for one horrible moment, he thought it was going to break loose from the soil. And it did, only not in the way he expected, as he was suddenly lifted out of the water.

‘I say, that hurts!’

Something huge and alive rose up beneath him, and Stephan realised that what he’d grabbed hold of was hair. He felt sweet air on his face and took a breath, managing to lose his grip on whatever he’d grabbed hold of. Yet his bad luck continued as the being shook its head to dry its tresses, hurling him roughly onto the bank of the river.

“Loreal, it’s because you’re worth it,” the human muttered dazedly, guessing that he was most likely suffering from a concussion.

“Did somepony speak? Oh my goodness, are you alright?”

Stephan opened his eyes, struggling to his feet, but his body was too battered from the hellish last few minutes. He slumped back down and, looking up, decided that he was definitely suffering from a concussion. How else could he have hallucinated up a plum-purple dragon sporting the most fabulous bouffant imaginable?

‘Wait? When did I have that depth of imagination… oh crap, this thing is real!’

“H...He…” he coughed, trying to speak, but the spells, bruises and chemicals were finally wearing him down, so all he could do was groan and motion for the creature to come closer. Anything with such terrible taste just had to be friendly...

“Ah, you got him!” somepony called out, and with his cheek lying flat on the ground, Stephan felt the tramp of approaching hooves.

“Oh my, Royal Guards!” exclaimed the whatyamaycallit. “Whatever are you boys doing here?”

Stephan glared up at the pegasus, his expression hidden from the giant serpent.

“Hail and well-met, river serpent!” called the guardspony. “Never mind us, this poor fellow fell into the river up ahead, got excited to see the Castle and all that and the loon fell off the bridge.”

“Really? He seems… a tad more beat-up than that.”

“Well, there are rapids that he no doubt passed through. Poor human fellow might’ve hit a few rocks on the way.”

“Oh my, is this an actual, mythical human!” said the river-serpent. “I admit I was hoping to see one with mine own eyes, but not like this.” He gave a mournful howl. “Oh my, this is just terrible! Spykoran ordered me to prepare to fight alongside the humans, and now one’s gotten his poor wee self hurt on my patch of river! And here’s me trying to rally myself for a fight in the sea with the rest of the serpents.”

“The wyrm– I mean, the Dragon King ordered that?”

“Oh yes, shame about what is going on in this fellow’s world. Real shame. I’m meant to join the good fight in some place called Bas-Tianne, sounds most exotic.”

“Yeah, sure,” muttered the guardspony. “Listen, we have to take our ‘buddy’ here with us now.”

“Oh yes, yes of course. Do see that he gets better, won’t you?.”

“G-get…” Stephan struggled to speak as several more legs appeared into view.

“Well, ave atque vale and all that!” the serpent called out, splashing back into the river with a parting wave. “TTFN!”

“Wow ‘buddy’, sure took one for the team huh?” a voice spoke up, sarcasm clear in his voice. “How about you take some time off, get some sleep?”

Stephan felt the magic hit his back, his vision growing dark as the spell took effect. “Guh…”

“Take him to the safehouse so we can prepare the interrogation. Here’s to freeing Equestria from every last of the alien invaders.”

“Indeed, my friend!”

‘Ihr elende Bastarde…’ were Stephan’s last thoughts before he blacked out.

Catseye paced all around the edge of her living room, on edge.

“We can’t wait much longer,” she said. “Corporal Strategy, Icewind told me you had an eye for patterns and direction. If there’s anything to be done about those devices they’re building, it has to be done now.”

Getting up from the couch, Exit Strategy walked to look out of the apartment's window. In the distance, she could see the smokes and fumes of Baltimare’s industrial district. An airship was drifting towards that little slice of Tartarus, probably to touchdown in one of the many warehouses that had been repurposed for the war effort. Civilian aerostats, which she’d been told were precursors of the Solar Empire’s potioneer ships, hovered through the skies, pegasi daredevils and couriers with what were presumably important messages flying dangerously close to them. Someone was playing music nearby.

The charts and diagrams the Weaver had left her with disquieted her deeply. Say what you will about humans, Strategy mused privately, they did not lack for ingenuity or skill. And with the resources of Equus now at their disposal, their allied pony insurgents could go through with designs that had remained trapped in the theoretical stage back on Earth. Some well-placed shielding and additional protection would make these new airships a tough nut to crack, if that was the right expression.

“I can get you the details for the layout of the central warehouses,” she told Catseye. “As well as the local guards’ shifts...”

For Catseye, worst of all were the weapons. She had friends, or at least acquaintances, who were involved in those factories. One pegasus, Feather Light, had given her to understand that there was a party of ponies and apes advocating Equestria mass-produce firearms with magical enhancements, from mere handguns up to an unholy behemoth they referred to as the MG-2023. The Equestria she knew was collapsing before her eyes, crumbling as factories and armies and entire cities sprouted from the homeland’s sanctified soil. In a year or two, she might not even recognize her home.

“It won’t be quick or easy,” continued Strategy. “Since it’ll require time for me to research the Baltimare municipal archives, probably bribe an overseer or two. But give me a clear goal and I can do it faster than you’d think. Now–”

She was cut off mid-sentence as the secret keeper around Catseye’s neck began to hum lightly.

Catseye stared down at it, pushing her glasses back up her muzzle anxiously. “That shouldn’t be happening, not this early in the week. We haven’t got another meeting scheduled until next week!”

“Then I guess somepony’s calling,” Strategy said testily. Catseye, for all her bluster, hadn’t grown into the veritable horse-shoes of her counterpart. She was working to be a leader, but she hadn’t grown used to unpredictability. “Better see who it is, Miss. It could be urgent.”

Nodding, Catseye cast her aura upon the marble she wore. It was in moments like these that she felt glad that, whatever else she allegedly was, she had been born a unicorn. The secret keepers were designed to respond to the powers of all three tribes, yet a horn was a far more practical conduit to work magic on a little glass bead, rather than wings or bare hooves.

The hum stopped. “Hello?” she said. “This is Doctor Catseye. Please state your name and business.”

“No need to be quite that formal,” whispered Strategy, rolling her eyes, but Catseye ignored the military mare.

“Hello, Doc,” a familiar voice grunted out. “Have I got an update for ya.”

At the sound of the voice, Strategy’s own horn lit to activate her secret keeper, establishing three-way communication. “Mister Fuse,” she cut in. “I’d suggest you follow her advice, and state your business better than you do your name. This had better be important.”

“Oh, believe me, tin girl,” chortled Fuse, recognizing the guardspony, “I’s caught a big fish, so I have.”

“Explain. Now,” demanded Catseye, vaguely unnerved by Short Fuse’s tone.

In response, her marble glowed, and a slightly curved two-dimensional image projected onto the wall at the far side of the room. Both mares’ eyes widened in shock at seeing the bruised and unconscious human form lying on the floor.

“That’s, that’s Major Bauer,” breathed Strategy. “The beast Renee’s second-in-command. Good grief, I was training under him not two days ago! What on Equus is this?”

Fuse’s voice emanated from the marble again. “I’d say this ‘ere is a good update, ain’t that so?”

Strategy glanced at Catseye. “Miss, though I hate to say it, the ruffian may be onto something. This may just turn out to be a highly effective pre-emptive strike. Remove Bauer, and you cut the head off of the Alliance’s training program.”

“Not enough to stop them entirely,” Catseye gasped in awe. “But definitely enough to cripple them. It could even slow them down long enough for the Empire to arrive.”

“Assuming nothing finds him first.”

“Yes,” said Catseye, biting her lip. “Fuse. Where did you capture it?”

“Everfree Forest. Outskirts of Ponyville.”

“Seems fitting,” Catseye muttered to herself. “It’s where all the trouble started, as usual. Okay,” she continued. “That really isn’t so bad. In fact, I daresay it’s the best possible thing. Nopony in that town’s going to wonder twice about any funny business going on. But are you sure no one saw you?”

“Ah, no biggie,” Fuse chuckled. “We got the fillies back to Ponyville.”

Catseye’s whole body tensed. “What fillies?

"Some three fillies what were with the hoomin’, Cutie Mark Creators or somethin’. Not important. They’ll be back home and none the wiser. Stupid parents’ll probably wonder where the human went off to, and leave it at that.”

“Cutie Mark Creators,” repeated Catseye. “Corporal, isn’t that the name of some new-fangled club for the young?”

Strategy rubbed her head. “Um, let me see… I can’t remember seeing that name in any registers, but it does ring a bell. Wait, ‘bell’… ah. Now I’ve got it. There was this recent minor scandal involving some paparazzo taking a snapshot of Princess Celestia eating cake. Turned out they were working for a trio of fillies looking for a career in tabloid journalism. Ponyvillians, of course.”

“Ponyvillians?”

“Yes.”

“But how does a country bumpkin go get a picture of Prin–”

“That isn’t important right now,” Strategy interrupted. “What I seem to recall is that one of the fillies had the word ‘apple’ in her name. And in that little town, the name Apple means a lot.”

Catseye blanched as realization hit her. “Worse than that,” she whispered. Barely keeping check on her quivering voice, she addressed Fuse. “You short-sighted buffoon! At least one of those fillies is linked to the Bearers of Harmony! Maybe even two of them! This’ll bring the PHL down on you before you know what bucked you in the face!”

“Oh, flaming Tartarus,” swore Fuse. “What’s to be done?!”

“Damned if I know!” Catseye shrieked. “It’s your steaming mess, you clean it up! We’re not ready to move yet, let alone stage a defence in the event we’re exposed ahead of time! Do you have any idea what the humans and their PHL thralls will do to us if they catch us?”

Actually, neither of them did, but they’d heard about the strange experiments that went on, and assumed that they’d have some horribly melodramatic fate related to them.

“Miss. Calm down.”

Strategy’s cool, professional tone cut through Catseye’s haze of panic. “We still hold an advantage here. They do not know where Bauer is, and they won’t for a day at most. It’s a narrow window of action, but we can act within it.”

“To do what?” asked Catseye, struggling to hold back shivers. She could feel herself start to sweat. “The way I see it, we’re saddled with a dangerous creature that could escape at any minute, and we’ve either got a day to get caught or a whole month to wait it out!”

“Exactly. In other words, this is a hostage situation.”

“Hostage situation?” Catseye echoed numbly. “The whole point of taking a hostage is…”

“To threaten to kill them. Yes. You’re not supposed to, if that helps, but you’re meant to use them as leverage.”

Fuse’s voice piped up to add his two cents. “And I’ll tell ya straight, Miss. I was plannin’ on takin’ him out at first. But then I recalled what ya said, and chose to contact ya first. Thought ya’d like it.”

Catseye took several deep breaths. “I appreciate that, I really do, Mister Fuse. It’s good to know some of my words got through that skull of yours. But I should have told you something else… I don’t like surprises.”

She heard him mutter something inaudible on the other end.

“Look, look, you did well, I just wish you’d planned for it. I’ll call you back. Just hang on there, and whatever you do, don’t move,” said Catseye, shutting off the connection, twitching in barely suppressed anxiety, wishing she could just scream and vent her rage into something. “Corporal Strategy,” she continued. “I respect you and Icewind’s experience, but surely you cannot be serious about taking hostages? That’s what the bad guys do.”

“Sorry to contradict you, Miss, I am serious,” the military mare said quietly. “It’s what you do to win. Besides, let’s think things through. Most hostage takers have no idea of knowing when their goals will be met. We do. A month or so. And if we can hold out until then, it won’t result in the hostage’s death, either.”

Catseye considered this. Yes, the point had merit. After all, this was what they were fighting for. To help the great Queen Celestia in imparting a merciful gift upon a corrupt race. And it might indeed spare them the perhaps riskier course of committing sabotage. Even so, sabotage was planned out and premeditated. This was not, and could go wrong in so many ways.

“It isn’t like they haven’t openly declared what they’d do to us if this came out,” she started. “Max Velocity told me they make it a matter of pride of not negotiating with criminals, especially the kind who take hostages.”

“Such rubbish,” Strategy said icily. “I’ve read their history. Those who claim not to negotiate with criminals have done so time and again, even helped set up criminal governments. But whatever,” pursued the military mare, sitting back down. “Vicious as humans are, they’re not stupid. If they think Bauer’s in danger of death, they won’t go in all guns-a-blazing.”

“‘Guns-a-blazing’?”

“My apologies, it’s an expression. Spend too much time around some people, you cotton on to their slang. Anyway, if we nudge this in the right direction, this could still turn into a good parallel plan to go with our act of sabotage. Even if Bauer can’t be held indefinitely, it will distract the PHL.”

“All fine and good,” Catseye stated tiredly, uncomfortably sitting down opposite her. “Only that doesn’t explain how to keep them from tracing all this back to us.”

“Easy. Sever ties and treat it as a rogue operation. Cut the strings.”

From the opposite couch, Catseye looked at her as though seeing her for the first time. “You’re… you’re suggesting we let Fuse take the fall?” she said weakly.

“Why not?” Strategy replied, far too calmly. It felt almost like an affectation. Almost. “It’s his hot-headedness that caused this mess in the first place. In my opinion, guy deserves to reap what he sows, as it were.”

Catseye flinched. “Corporal,” she said, composing herself with effort. “I don’t especially like him. But he’s a pony. Calls himself a family stallion. Obviously somepony does love him, and he loves them back. He’s not the only who’ll suffer if this goes wrong.”

“Which is why he should have gone through you first,” finished Strategy. “Let me tell you that in the military, we have no room for insubordination. The chain of command is there for a reason.”

“But this isn’t the military! We’re meant to be stopping Equestria from going to war, not behaving like a… like guerillas!”

Strategy folded her forehooves across one another. “Miss, we are already at war. We’ve been at war since that night when you called for us to ‘rise up and cast out the beast-demon Man’. So, the chips are down. And now you play. The PHL, though… they have experience at playing harder, so we’re not going to get anywhere by foalhoofing around.”

“Okay, okay…” Catseye gestured her hooves for a timeout. “Suppose, just suppose, mind you, I did decide to abandon Fuse and his ponies. And then, suppose, they get captured. What about the secret keepers? A mind mage worthy of the name could track us all down if they got their hooves on one.”

“Well,” said Strategy. “You know what to do about that.”

Catseye looked down. “Contact the Weaver?”

“Contact the Weaver,” confirmed Strategy, holding a hoof to her secret keeper. “It isn’t hard. One word from you, and behold, the protective charms will vanish into thin air, without a trace.”

“Leaving behind a lot of ponies with gaps in their memories at the hands of the humans,” Catseye said quietly.

Yet maybe it was best to seize this escape route, though she didn’t like it, and privately, she also had to admit to being a little scared of the hooded noblemare. Still looking down, she rubbed her forehead to nurse a growing headache. “So, so I guess we’re not all doomed. I guess… I... I don’t know. I’d really like to talk this over with Icewind...”

“Do it this way, it can pass off as the deed of a bunch of fools who got lucky,” Strategy warned. “Stick by them, and you risk all we’ve worked towards. I’ll adhere to your decision either way. But Sergeant Icewind would tell you the same.”

“No. I don’t think he would,” said Catseye, looking up again with sudden resolve. “Icewind dared talk back to Nightmare Moon. And Fuse gave him guff for it, but in the end, he chose to throw in his lot for the cause. Corporal, you may turn out to be right about what to do… yet what sort of Loyalists are we if we can’t show loyalty to our own ponies?”