Welcome back to more Whose Line Is It Anyway! The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter. Look who we have back in the seats!
*Audience cheers wildly as BlackGryphon, Tweak, Firebrand, and Silvermane all bask in the adoration*
...Nobody important. So--
Excuse me! I'm sitting right here!
Alright, "Your Majesty". You want a little something? *Presses button under desk*
GAAAHH!! *Leaps off of seat and lands on stage from a sudden electric jolt* Okay, what did I do to deserve that?!
Some certain words that were exchanged between you and the "producer" beforehand.
*Grumbles and returns to seat*
...Who also happens to be Canadian. *Presses another button*
AAAIII!! *Gets shocked in the same way Tweak did* I thought we were here to be honoured.
Nothing personal, just fulfilling an obligation.
Ugh. Of course...
Well anyway, since the other two of you don't have gratuitous egos, I think it's fairly safe to say that you don't need a triumphant intro like last time. I didn't give my regular puppets the same luxury when they returned.
Wow. You can be a real jerk.
It's all dependent on how the producer writes pays me to behave. Now let's get this started with a game called "Show-stopping Number". This is for Gryphon, Firebrand, and Tweak.
Already getting us reacquainted with spontaneous singing? Wonderful...
Well think of it this way: It you're good, we cheer; if you screw up, we laugh. It's a win-win. Now the game is played out as a regular scene, nothing too special. EXCEPT... whenever I hit the buzzer, *Bzt, Bzt!*, the one who just spoke has to break out into song and use their last line as the basis for their tune, with the musical accompaniment of Wing Maid and Terra Part! Your scene is... Firebrand and Gryphon are two guards mingling amongst others in their ranks, waiting for their usual PT. They spend time chatting with each other, until the drill sergeant, Tweak, stomps up to the two of them.
Wow... Totally original.
...Fine. And you're all thestrals. In the LUNAR guard. Happy?
It's a start.
Ehh, let's all just take what we can get. Whenever you're ready, take it away!
The sun was close to setting upon the horizon. Solar guards all retired to their barracks within the castle to bide their last waking hour for the day. As they went on their idle chatting, Luna's forces were up to the same in a lower floor.
An entire platoon of dozens of bat-ponies were shooting the breeze as they usually did before their sergeant arrived to begin their routine training. The hall boomed with numerous voices all over-lapping one another.
One night guard in particular, Firebrand, was feeling uncharacteristically quiet and unwilling to socialize with his fellow guards that he once found so easy to befriend. Many things have been on his mind lately, and he felt he needed to get it all out with the only other guard and friend he could trust above the others, Black Gryphon.
After locating him among the crowd, he noticed he was already in a high-pace conversation with another guard who seemed to have had too much coffee. "...my dog... how... with the tube of... wheel of cheese..."
Firebrand's friend was speaking so quickly and surprisingly quietly, he couldn't even hear in properly. Nonetheless, he tried to garner his attention. "Gryphon..."
"...from last night I--"
"Gryphon?!"
"...tea kettle! Then she... sat on a turtle!!" Gryphon chuckled heartily.
"Gryphon!"
Gryphon turns around as his friend leaves. "Ah! How's it going, Brandy?"
Normally, he'd only let his sister call him "Brandy", but he disregarded it with a sigh and brought Gryphon away from the crowd. "Listen. I need your help with something."
"Sure thing, bud."
"I'm starting to have doubts about staying in the Lunar Guard. it's just not as exciting as it used to be."
"Ah, come now, my friend." Gryphon consoles. "Buck up." *Bzt!* (Music plays)
Come now, my friend
Buuuck up!
You gotta look on the bright side
Or just SHUT the buck up!
We have it easy!
It's very light duty!
And after all, Luna
Has the nicer booty!
Firebrand could only respond by burying his face in his hoof. He sighs, "I see you're here mostly for the eye candy?"
"Aside from the obligation of our entire species, yes." Gryphon unreluctantly answered. "Aren't you?"
"I wouldn't say so."
"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow. "Why's that?"
"Let me put it in a way we all can understand: I like Sunbutt." *Bzt!* (Music plays)
Oh Sunbutt!
I love the sound of her voice!
How I wish I could leave
If I had the choice
Because her backside
Is so divine
I'll happ'ly kiss it 'til it's polished
To a mirror shine!
Gryphon nearly collapsed to the floor from chuckling. "You know! I think Luna would actually let you transfer just so she can watch!"
"Eh. I will stay true to that if you happen to be right." Firebrand didn't mean to let his tongue slip to such vulgarity. But at least it managed to open a possible option.
"Ten hut!!" A booming voice bellowed throughout the room. Tweak, the drill sergeant had arrived. His eyes were narrowed and ready to prey upon any unfortunate subordinates who didn't immediately respond to his command to form one of the two lines. "Right now, dirtbags!" Tweak exclaimed once again. "Let's get down to business! We have no huns to defeat, but Imma itching to find any in our midst!" His head suddenly turned to Firebrand as he began to pass by him. "You're lookin' shifty, Private Brandy! What are you thinkin' about?!"
Firebrand stood firmly in attention and gave a uniform response. "Sir! If it is alright with you, I would like to request a transfer to the Solar Guard, Sir!"
Tweak promptly became wide-eyed. "Now why would you want to partake in such blasphemy?! Are you not happy here working for everyone's favourite princess?!"
Firebrand remained stoic despite the small amount of the sergeant's spit that landed on his mug. "Sir! I have not been working for my favourite princess, Sir!"
"Oh, screw Sunbutt!!" *Bzt!* (Music plays)
Screw Sunbutt!
That's right, I'm talkin' to you!
...And that's an order!
That's what I want you to do!
I-- gyuh...
Tweak voluntarily falls forward and lands on the side of his face.
*BZZZTTT!!!*
*Audience cheered, laughed, and whistled for Tweak's performance as Drew and the others were laughing in their seats*
Ahaha! Is there something you're not telling us, Lieutenant?
Um, yeah. If the "producer" were a physical entity to us, I would not hesitate in giving him what's coming to him. Though I would like to add, It's all Black Gryphon's fault. Why'd you sing that anyway?
I blanked. That rhyme was my fail-safe. But hey, at least we had fun.
Well anyway, we have more Whose Line with the FOBEquestria crew coming up soon, don't go away!
Additional A/N: According to spell-check, I spelled "Lieutenant" correctly on my first try. Hell yeah.
