Why am I here?
That same thought has been bouncing in my head for the last few hours now, as I’ve been sitting here on this hill thinking. Well, for the past few weeks actually. Watching the sun now set over this town, affectionately named Ponyville, like I’ve been doing for the past few weeks now. A place where I have lived for the past few weeks now, but not really what I would call my home. Just a temporary stay of living, almost a holding cell for the time being. A prisoner in a prison I have little knowledge of, and a sentence I know very little about. There usually is some kind of purpose of my arrival at these places, but now?
Why am I here?
There is some kind of purpose of my arrival at these places, usually some kind of crisis, some kind of call of action, something that pits my wit against, at first, an unseen force. I’ve always been lucky, quick, or just happened to be at the right place at the right time, but now? I’ve got hooves instead of hands, and I’m not my normal timelord self. In a world that’s filled with other colorful ponies, I can only shake my head in disbelief. Out of all the times to not have a purpose in life, a meaning, I’m stuck wondering what to do. Six mares save the world constantly; the rulers of the land raise the moon and sun. A world filled with magic and all I have left is my sonic screwdriver. Some predicament I’m in. In a universe where I’m used to saving it constantly from humans who don’t know how to treat it properly and here I am in a world saved by magic. Something I can’t fully explain, mind you, and now it seems I’m out of the job.
Why am I here?
It’s strange, my whole life so far, all 900 plus years of it, have been devoted to trying to make the universe right, to save it from impending doom against the Daleks or otherwise, all across time with my friends Rose, Captain Jack, Donna, Amy, Roy, and River, though those were only the most recent people to cross my path. Others like Susan Foreman, Jamie McCrimmon, or even K-9. All gone. The last of my people now turned into a pony. Not a ginger, which is always strange, though not as strange as now walking on four legs, mind you. But, I’m beginning to understand how Rose felt when we traveled to the end of the earth, watching it die being consumed by fire, and her being the last human.
Why am I here?
Even my TARDIS is gone; my blue box of travels soon left me here stranded for some reason or another. A timelord without a way to be a lord over time, quite ironic if you ask me. All I have left is an hourglass on my rear, mocking me. I can’t seem to call it back, as if it left me here to figure out the mystery of my marooning here in this word by myself. Though nothing too impossible for a timelord that has saved the universe more times than I can count, but there’s always a challenge in everything, right?
Why am I here?
I’ve watched leaders, countries, empires, worlds fall before the test of time! I left my own people in their time of need; I’ve been more than willing to sacrifice myself for people in desperate times. Though, it’s never been enough has it? Maybe the TARDIS sent me here to learn a lesson, to right me of my way, to punish me for something, for anything. That bloody TARDIS after all this time decides now to make sure I know the err of my ways. FOR WHAT? So I can be stuck in this miserable place and feel sorry for myself? Well, that’s certainly working, that is for sure. It just doesn’t seem right for the TARDIS to leave me on this place without a purpose, without a reason, without a problem to solve. But there’s a reason for everything, a reason why I go to every place that I go to, every adventure I have, and every person that I have the honor to meet along my way. Yet, why do feel as though there is no purpose or reason for me?
WHY am I here?
The thought was driving me to near insanity, driving me to question all that I have done in my times. Driving me to do one thing that I haven’t had time for in the longest time. Think. Was that the TARDIS’ purpose for my marooning here? To sit me in the corner and think about what I did? No, can’t be. Must be something more, something more deeper than that. This is not a timeout, it can’t be. Not a cooling off period for my actions. I couldn’t have preformed that badly. I’ve only tried my best and tried to keep my promises for all that I’ve done. I’ve tried to be there when people needed a savior the most, to be the knight in shining armor that some people need.
BUT, why am I here?
I can only sigh and hang my head as the one thought, the one question, splinters off into everything. The only thing that consumes me, but I can only answer the question with one thing:
I don’t know.
“Excuse me, Mister,” I hear a voice from behind and above. “Is there something wrong?”
I turn my head to the source of the voice, a gray Pegasus with blonde hair, yet with peculiar golden eyes that were a bit offset, but that drew me towards her in a good way. “No ma’am,” I could only kindly respond. “Just enjoying the sunset, something I like to do from time to time.”
“You sure, Mister?” She floats down lower to my level, looking me over with a curious facial expression. “Because it looks like you’ve been crying.”
“Me? Crying?” I don’t question her, but more of myself with that. Bringing a hoof up to my face, I wipe the mysterious tears away from my eyes. Looking at it with wonder. “I guess you are right.” After examining this tear for some time I glance up at the pegesus hovering above my head. “And what brings you out here?”
She put a hoof to her chin, thinking about this for a moment, then shrugged. “I guess I don’t know really. Just thought I would enjoy the sunset tonight. Like something was drawing me here for some reason.” She floated down lower till she was now sitting next to me. “Also you seemed quite alone from where I was.”
I manage a meager smile. “Thank you for joining me then… misses?”
“Oh, I’m Derpy Hooves,” she extended a hoof out, which I received and shook.
“I’m the Doctor, it’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Hooves.”
“Doctor…Who?” she asked inquisitively.
I laugh lightly, “Just the Doctor, just a name I’m known by.”
“Well, what are you a doctor of?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“I have time to listen.”
“If you must know, I’m a doctor of one of best thing to study and observe, Time.”
Again she put a hoof to her chin, scratching it gently, “You can be a doctor of time?” She was searching for something in her head. “I didn’t know you could be a doctor of time.”
“My Dear Ms. Hooves,” my smile grew as now I have an audience for my knowledge. “There is much that you or I do not know about this universe. There are many universes, many worlds out there.”
Her look alone explained how much she understood of that statement. Questioning, but somehow understanding. “How do you know?”
“Because I’ve been there!” I jumped up, ecstatic of this outpouring of some of the things kept coopted up in my head. “I’ve traveled to many worlds! Across time and space! Ms. Hooves what if I told you I wasn’t of this world.”
She had doubtful look, but it was beginning to go away. “I wouldn’t believe you, but I can see where people could see why you are not.”
“Well, Ms. Hooves, I come from a place called Gallifrey! Home of the Timelords! Well, it was, but that’s another story. I’m a lord over all the universes in all times and in all places! Living nearly forever, barring any sort of terrible accident.”
I could she was a bit off put by my now energetic self, though she wouldn’t be the first. “But, you look like a pony, just like me. Also, you sound like you come the north.”
“A lot of places have a north, you’d be surprised. But instead of dying, we timelords regenerate and take upon a new form. I guess, my new form just happened to be a pony. Anyways continuing on, what you’re used to time being is a straight line from point A to point B, no stops in between, no detours to a different point. Well, what if told you that time wasn’t a line, but more of a ball, filled with wibbely wobbely, timey wimey… stuff. That all of time was connected in one way or another.”
“I would begin to see why you were alone up on this hill, that’s for sure.”
“And you wouldn’t be the first to call me crazy,” My demeanor now overjoyed so much I even scared myself a bit.
“Well if what you say is true,” her eyes probed mine for answers, though I wasn’t giving up that easily. “How do you travel time? I know that unicorns can use their magic to time travel, but you seem to be lacking a horn.”
“A well placed observation, Ms. Hooves. As being a normal pony I would need something other than magic to travel time. Something called a time machine or in my case as TARDIS!”
“A tar-what?”
“A TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Which at this time, has been stuck in the shape of a blue police box from Britain during the 1960s.”
“Britain?” Her face turned into one of apprehension and unease. “Police box? 1960s? Doctor, I’m not sure if I follow completely.”
“Well of course you wouldn’t! It’s from a different time and a different place across the universe! Though if its chameleon circuit were working properly it would take the form of the surrounding area, barely noticeable.”
She looked around trying to search for it, but after a few moments of looking, she looked back at me, with one eyebrow raised. “Where is it then?”
My quick rebuttal was momentarily shot down as I faced that inevitable question. “To be honest, it left me here. It left me high and dry in this world. I haven’t seen it over a few weeks.”
“What do you mean, left you here? Don’t you control it?”
“In theory, yes. But my TARDIS seems to have mind of its own, taking me where I need to go, not where I want to go. Quite troubling for a time traveller who wants to see the sights, no doubt.”
“So, um, let me get this straight.” The Pegasus gathered her thoughts after I had barraged her with information. “You are not actually a pony, but a timelord. Who doesn’t die?”
“Right you are.”
“You say time is not linear, but all connected.”
“Right again.”
“And you travel this connected ball of time in a TARDIS who has a mind of its own.”
“Correct you would be.”
“And that same TARDIS has left you here and went on its merry way.”
“Correct once again, Ms. Hooves! You sure do catch on.”
“I still don’t get why I sort of believe you. You have nothing to prove yourself correct.”
“Yet, you have nothing to prove me wrong! OH, and if its any conciliation” I turned flashing my flank for her to see. “I have what you would call a cutiemark of an hourglass. After some research, I found out this is a pony’s special ability. Since I am a master of time, an hourglass would seem appropriate.”
She gave me a weird look, both comforting and confusing at the same time. After spending some time around humans, I finally had grown accustomed to their behavioral patterns, but I haven’t been able to do the same with these ponies. They seemed completely different in nature. Kind, compassionate, and trusting, but then again, I’ve only been around them for such a sort time so there were just preliminary findings.
“So,” she still bore a look of unsureness, but it was slowly fading. “What if I believed you? Believed all this to be true, that you were all that you said you were? What does that make us?”
I was stunned, and rushed to her side, shaking her hoof energetically. “Well, you’d be the first to say that. The first and only pony to believe what has been said, someone I can trust. A friend even.”
“A friend?” A smile slowly grew on her face, though she started to blush. “I really don’t have many friends.”
“I’d be honored to have you as a friend, Ms. Hooves.” I returned the smile and was surprised when she embraced me with a hug, something I have not yet felt in sometime. My only compelling action was to return the hug.
Suddenly, behind me, I heard a quite familiar sound, a sound that only occurred because I left the brakes on. My TARDIS has returned to me. I felt her look at the new sound and the object that was phasing in behind us. I let her go and watched with her the reappearance of my police box. Oh how I missed its blue hue and square-ness. How the windows were not quite the right size, but it was mine.
She leaned over to me, keeping full attention on the alien object that was no more than twenty feet in front of us. “I guess that’s your time machine? How do you fit in it?”
All I could do is smile at the all too similar question, “It’s bigger on the inside. You’d be surprised.” Trotting over the blue box, motioned to the door, pulling her towards it. “Now, would you like to take a peak?”
Her amazed smile grew ten times, “I think you already have my answer.”
“Good!” I flung the door open and ushered her inside. “Let’s be off then!” Like most everyone to step into the TARDIS, she stopped a few steps on the other side of the door and stared agape at the size and everything. “Come along now, close the door now. We have much to see! As my guest aboard this wonderful machine, you get first choice, now where would you like to go?”
I smiled at her silence at an answer, starting to flip switches, and then the answer slowly came to me.
I know why I am here.
I casually glanced at her as she approached me at the console and looking over all the equipment that made the TARDIS do what she does.
“Anywhere sounds wonderful right now,” her golden eyes were focused on me as I spun more wheels, flipped more switched, pulled more levers.
“Anywhere it is then!” Flipping the final switch, and the TARDIS began its groaning sound of time travel. I was agape with excitement and her look was all too the same. One composed of apprehension and nervousness. And I’ve never been as happy to see that look ever.
I know why I am here now. I’m here for her.
I’m here for a friend.