//------------------------------// // Chimera Are Bad News // Story: Love Needs No Reason // by Evowizard25 //------------------------------// Travellin’ through the Everfree Forest was as easy as pickin’ apples on a sunny day these days. Ah mean, ah haven’t seen hide nor hair of any beasts since we returned the Elements. Maybe the tree was keepin’ them away, or the animals wisened up. Either way, ah wasn’t complainin’. The forest was actually kind of nice lookin’ when it wasn’t tryin’ to kill me. Long as ah stayed away from that nasty Poison Joke, ah was home free. The Fire Swamp was another story altogether. There was never a dull moment there. Whether ah wanted one or not, the swamp wouldn’t give it. It had everythin’ to hate: pillars of fire that randomly shoot out of the ground, quicksand, rodents of unusual size. Ya name it. The worst of the bunch was that loud mouthed chimera that made this its territory a whiles back. She made this place even trickier to navigate. The rodents weren’t smart. Ya could fend ‘em off no problem. This chimera was somethin’ else. She was tricky, mean, and out fer blood. Truth be told, ah think she had it out fer me. Maybe that’s cause ah’ve beaten her so many times it isn’t funny. Well, to her. Ah think it’s still rich when it’s all over. Some of those times ah’m sure she wishes she could forget.  Burned her a few times, not my fault usually. She has a habit of forgettin’ the fire pits when she really gets into a fight. So far, ah haven’t seen her. Strange. She usually jumped at the chance to nab me. This didn’t make me feel any better. In fact, ah felt even more tense. She was plannin’ somethin’ nasty. Ah just knew it. Call it a gut instinct or whatever, ah just knew. Times like this ah wish ah didn’t have to go this way. Ah’d rather deal with that cragodile. Still, ah had plenty of time to think. Ah glanced at the necklace hangin’ about my neck. Ah should have taken it off. It probably held some sort of chaos magic that’d mess things up fer me and the delivery. Worse, it might hex my thoughts. Make me do stupid things…..Like feel a bit loved by the gesture. Which was crazy talk. Discord didn’t deserve an inklin’ of love. Maybe friendship. Yeah, that. He deserved that, but all this ‘romance’ stuff? No sirree. Ah wasn’t gonna fall fer it. Even if he was nice and considerate and willin’ to spend time with me. He wasn’t even doin’ anythin’ ‘too’ off. Just havin’ fun. Maybe ah was bein’ too hard on him………. Faster than a hay bale in a rodeo, somethin’ jumped out from a fire pit and smashed into me. It knocked me off my cart, which thankfully didn’t topple over. Groaning from the impact and the large paws that held me down, ah looked up with a scowl. “Yer an ugly sight fer sore eyes, Sweetkill” Sweetkill the chimera grinned down at me. “So are you, Jack.” The tiger head spoke. “Seems like you’ve gotten sloppy.” “Nope, ya cheated.” “Cheated?” The goat barked in laughter. “We’ve lived in this swamp for a while now. Some of these geysers are dead. So we thought we’d hide and give you a little ‘surprise’.” “What is it with ya baddies and tellin’ me yer plan before doin’ the killin’?” Ah asked, doin’ my best to shift underneath the large paws. “It just gives me time to do……” “........Do what?” All three heads asked, leanin’ a bit closer. Ah inwardly smirked. Sweetkill might be smarter than the average monster, but she’s prone to get sloppy when she thinks she’s won. Her paws had slackened. Usin’ my earthern strength, ah pushed and rolled out of the paws and bucked the chimera’s chest. “That.” Sweetkill roared in anger as she stumbled backwards. “You cheated!” “Fair’s fair.” Ah smirked. Ah glanced over to the cart. All my supplies were in it. What ah wouldn’t give to have Pinkie’s abilities sometimes. Ah made a dash towards the cart, but Sweetkill struck. Seems she’s faster than ah……. Pain! The snake head sank its teeth into my thigh. Ah screamed as she threw me over her main body and hard onto the ground. Pullin’ me closer, Sweetkill smashed me right good with a powerful buck. It felt like my body was being slammed by jack hammers. The snake head had let go, so ah was sent smashin’ through some of the thin trees. Ah just laid there on the ground, gaspin’ fer breath. Sweetkill had always been a heavy hitter, but that was somethin’ else. It…...the pain was gettin’ worse. Ah’d never been bittin’ by the snake head before. She was always waitin’ fer her sisters to attack. Might’ve been poisonous. Ah needed to move. She was gonna kill me, but when ah tried to stand, ah started coughin’ up blood. Seemed she broke a rib or two. “Awww,” Sweetkill, the Tiger head, tutted. “Is the little pony all broken? Poor pony.” “We can fix that,” the snake head spoke and boy did ah want to smash her the most. “Just lay still and it will be all over,” the goat spoke last as they all licked their lips. “Nope,” ah tried to stand again, but she put a paw on my chest. “We insist,” the chimera chuckled. To which ah did my best to smash the paw with my hoof. Thankfully, hooves beat paws ‘cause she cried out in pain. Usin’ a bit of strength, ah stood and made a run fer the cart once more. The pain in my hip and chest was unbearable. “You can’t run from us, Applejack.” Snortin’, ah stopped before the cart. “No, but ah can fight.” Ah grinned as ah took out a few things……..before my lower half gave out on me. Ah fell to the ground, bangin’ my chin on the way down. Sweetkill chuckled. “My poison seems to have quite an effect on you,” the snake chuckled. No. Ah wasn’t gonna die like this….Ah couldn’t. Ah needed to get back to my family. Apple Bloom needed her big sister. My friends needed me. Equestria needed me. Discord needed me...Or ah needed him. Suddenly, the necklace glowed brightly as if it was a small star. “What is that?” Sweetkill shielded her eyes the best she could from the light. Once it was gone, the two of us looked to see Discord standin’ there….cuddlin’ a life size plushy of me. “Oh Applejack, aren’t you just a silly pony. Don’t you worry, ah’m sillier…..” He blinked in confusion and looked around. “...Ahem, it seems you’ve caught me during my act. Yes, for the play……...’Silly Pony’. It’s a hit.” He grinned nervously which made me chuckle. Discord grinned for real this time. “Applejack, is that……….” His eyes fell on me and they stopped dead. Ah couldn’t read his expression. It was just so vacant. “Ahem,” Sweetkill said. “You’re interrupting our lunch.” “Lunch?” Discord’s brow furrowed. He poofed away the plushie and his body swiveled around to look at Sweetkill. “Well, where is this ‘lunch’?” “You’re standing over her,” Sweetkill growled. “Am I?” Discord tapped his chin. “Do you often refer to carts as ‘she’? Or is it the pies? My dear little chimera, I think you have a problem.” One of his horns disappeared and reappeared beside Sweetkill’s ear. A paw of lips was on the tip. “Those don’t have genders.” The horn appeared at its place. “I’m sorry if that shatters your reality, but I’m sorry. That’s how it is. Trust me on this. It’s better that way. Have you seen a female pie? They are unruly!” “We’re talking about the pony, you idiot.” The goat head said. “What pony?” He turned his head backwards like a barn owl to look at me. “Oh, that pony.” He pushed his head back around with a finger. “Ponies aren’t for eating, you silly chimera. They’re for pranking, talking, singing, and sometimes shipping. Well, a lot of shipping, but this isn’t a harem tale. Besides, she’s a hard mare to handle on her own.” “Hey,” ah weakly said. “Who do you think you are, taking our kill?” The tiger demanded. “I am known by many names,” Discord had magicked himself up a Starswirl cosplay. “Trickster, Evil doer, God, Joe on occasion, but you can call me Discord. Discord the god of chaos, at your service.” He took off his hat and bowed. He didn’t get out of the bow and he kept his gaze to the ground. “Perhaps I can know your name as well. Tis only fair.” “Sweetkill,” the chimera said. “So, Discord, stand aside. We’re hungry.” Discord was silent for a moment. He stood straight up with his eyes eyes and fastened his hat back on. “I’m sorry, I think you didn’t hear me. I do believe you're deaf, so I’ll fix that.” Two megaphones appeared taped over Sweetkill’s ears, pointed inwards.  “PONIES ARE NOT FOR EATING!” Two Discords shouted into one piece and reappeared as one in front of her. His tail wrapped itself around the chimera’s midsection and he pulled her up to look at him. “I am Discord, god of chaos and son of two of the most powerful beings any universe has ever known. I have been taught millions of ways to kill, maim, and distort every single being that has or ever will live on this or any world. I know them by heart and I will turn that knowledge against any who dare hurt my loved ones. Do I make that clear, you mewling kitten?” He glared into her eyes hard enough that Fluttershy would have been impressed. The chimera nodded fervently. “No I didn’t,” Discord growled. He threw her to the ground and snapped his fingers. Instantly, all her fur was gone and a large cloud appeared above her. Snow fell down faster than any pegasus could muster. Sweetkill shivered as it hit her bare skin. “Have fun living with that!” Discord twirled his finger and a tornado shook her about. The cloud hung itself over said tornado and both her and it were flung deep inside the Forest. He sighed and put a hand to his chest. “Whoa, this got far too serious for my taste. Kind of off putting next to the rest of this week.” Ah chuckled weakly. “Guess so.” Ah started cougin’ as pain racked my body. Specks of blood hit the ground. Discord was at my side in an instant. “Shh, don’t move. If you move, you’ll make it worse.” He put a comforting hand on my shoulder. It worked, cause ah felt myself loosen. The pain was still there though. He growled. “Worse than I thought. Accursed chimeras and their poison. They have no right to be so chaotic.” He grabbed his hair and pulled. “Why didn’t I listen to Celestia and learn healing spells?” His tail smashed his head and held out a sign in front of him. “Shut up and do something? Why didn’t you say something before?” ‘I can’t speak?’ “You spoke well enough during the last world summit,” Discord glared at his tail, before scoopin’ me up in his arms. Ah felt safe there. Secure. Nothin’ was gonna happen to me now. “Don’t you quit on me, Applejack. Not yet. I don’t know where the hospital is, but I assure you, we’ll do it calmly and with-” He snapped his tail and we appeared in the middle of Ponyville. “APPLEJACK’S DYING! WHERE’S THE BLOODY HOSPITAL!” His shoutin’ shook the whole town. The townsfolk started shoutin’ back, askin’ all sorts of questions. “Just tell me!” Discord shouted. He was glancin’ around in panic. “What happened?” Rainbow Dash was flying beside them. “Did you do something?” She glared up at Discord. “I’d retort, but Applejack’s dying you know.” Discord shot back. “Then take her to the hospital,” Rainbow shouted. “She’s dying in your arms. You can teleport.” “I’ve never been to the hospital,” Discord growled. “I don’t need to and I don’t prank sick ponies.” “Give her to me then,” Rainbow said, holding out her forelegs. “I know where the hospital is and I’ll get her there faster than you can count to ten.” Discord glanced at me as though he was nervous about lettin’ me go. He sighed and put me into Dash’s arms. “Get her there. Now!” “On it,” Rainbow nodded and flew off. Ah blacked out somewhere along the way.